The Hereafter


A friend of mine sent me this thing, about how much life has changed since 1955 and what struck me odd about it all, was that “it didn’t seem that long ago, but it has been quite sometime.”  This is what happens to you as you grow older, and life sneaks up on you.  Mama’s little boy, becomes a Daddy Baby, and then of course, you age and fade off into obscurity.

Antoinette Bowser of Virginia isn’t having a good week; she began her driving test by backing into a parked car in the parking lot of the DMV.  If that wasn’t bad enough, now the DMV is suing her for $75,000 to cover the instructor’s workers-compensation claim and now is trying to recover from her.  Some days it appears that it doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

I understand that Florida is now considering re-marking all of their highways and changing the signage along same, for the aging population in that state. As we grow older, we seem to not see so well.  Rule of life, everyone ages, we all get a turn. I am at the point in my life now, that as I age, they make me “pay up front” for a three minute egg.  It is pretty bad, when you reach a point in life, and they have discontinued your blood type at the local hospital.

My generation is now approaching the time of life, when they should be reaping the harvest. Aging baby boomers are quickly approaching retirement age, although I have been retired by an act of fate, some seventeen years. My grandson asked me just the other day, “Grandpa, how did you get to be so tough?” And I thought about it a moment and then I said, “Son, it is all that Dinosaur hunting I did when I was a kid. Hell, the decoy weighed six tons, draggin’ that thing around all day and uh” ……. Well, you get the picture, dont’cha?

What is it they say about us “Generians.” (latest nickname for Old Geezers like me). Old folks are worth a fortune. Silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs. Here. Present! Yo’! as Hawkeye Pierce would say (Mash). I am beginning to note that I start every sentence with “I remember when” and end each one with “Bless his/her heart.”

You know how to tell if you’re old? …  I mean, “really old?”

When you get out of the shower, and you bend over to wipe down your ankles with the towel. Do you think to yourself, “Is this all I have to do while I am down here?” If you think that … well, you’re getting old.  Sorry. Often the truth is hard to take, and believe me, I know.

Baby-Boomers are reaching a point in their life when they ought to be giving serious consideration to the hereafter. Believe me, I am. Just the other day, I found myself standing in a room, clueless, searching the room with my eyes, all the time my brain was saying …… “What are you here after?”

Over and over, like a tape with no end … Where is it? Where is it? My brain is running down the mainline like a loose caboose … And the eyes, they are not helping, they are saying … What is it? What is it?

They are going to love me at the home.

I am the captain of my spirit, the master of my domain. My ship of life is still in the water, unfortunately I think I have lost not only my sails, but also my rudder. My aches and pains, they drive me up the wall, but here is the best blessing of them all.

“Of all my trials, and tribulations, I can proudly say Congratulations! Of all my problems, troubles, and limitations. I can say this. Thank God, I still have my Oklahoma driver’s license.”

I will leave you with this random thought this morning: “If you look at something long enough, it will eventually lose all it’s meaning.  I believe my grandson refers to that as “zoning out?”  Have a great weekend. (Bless Your Heart)

OOO

Clear Blue Sky

blue-sky

Early in the morning, it is cool, not cold mind you, but cool.  That is nice, spring is in the air, it cannot be long now, but there is the distinct odor of burnt grass in the air, and another wildfire is taking its toll somewhere.  Very dry here, I cannot remember for the life of me, when it was that we received a good soaking rain, been awhile.

Another thing that I find somewhat disturbing is the color of the sky, there doesn’t seem to be any blue sky left anywhere, just this dingy Grey color, void of clouds and seemingly full of the pollution of man.

Back in the day, I would lie down in the grass and peer up into the summer sky, rich and blue, filled with white wispy clouds and I would imagine they were different animals or shapes.   I see a cow, and Indian, there is a ducky …… that kind of deal.

Now I look up and I see the remnants of yesterdays’ commute in Dallas, a cold dead gray sky, and no rain.

Getting Casual.

Another sign that spring is coming, the Idaho House waived its decorum rule for the rest of the season.  Members can take off their jackets and eat or drink on the floor of the House, they are just not allowed to smoke or spit, we can still do that here in Oklahoma, but it is evidently illegal in other parts of the country.

Not long ago I took a vow to lay off politics’ and religion on this site, and so far, I have managed to stay fairly close to the goal and within the self-imposed perimeters of good taste.  It is so hard to come in here each day and write something that is NOT political and I have adjusted to that.  It is as a matter of fact, a lot harder than I imagined it to be a few weeks back.

Mr. Obamma is going to be on the Tonight Show this evening, if you are so inclined, you can tune in there and get the straight poop from the head nin-com-poop!  Perhaps he will explain on how “giving A.I.G. billions which they in turn gave to the banks of England, Germany and France will help the AMERICAN economy” I cannot for the life of me, figure that one out.

bush-sticker

U.S. Credit Card defaults rose in February to their highest level in 20 years, with losses particularly severe at American Express and Citigroup.  AMEX came in with 8.7% and Citibank at 8.3% what I cannot figure out is why is this so bad?  Even at those rates that means at least 91% of their accounts are paid up or paying on time, seems like a rock steady business figure to me.

All around me I hear the sound of money, but I don’t have a dog-gone nickel to my name, I see a light at the end of the tunnel …. Man, I sure hope it’s not some dog-gone train!  If counted out in $1,000 bills, a million dollars would be a stack of bills approximately 4″ high.  To reach a billion dollars, that same stack of $1,000 dollar bills would have to be 358 feet tall.  To reach a trillion dollars (and remember we are up in the 12/15 trillion range now) the stack would stand 67.9 miles high!

change

This could be the reason Americans are only getting an average of 6.7 hours of sleep on weekdays, down from seven hours in 2001.  Anyone see the news piece on the janitorial position offered in Massillon, Ohio?  The job paid about $15 per hour and 700 people showed up to apply for it.  Maine is forcing people to buy one of three license’s in order to increase revenue, latest to hit the list is canoeists or kayaking.  They want $3.50 for “boat lic.fees.”  Oklahoma increases the fee for electricity by some $8 per month, cable TV switched over to this new crap, and as usual, it cost us something, about $3 a month.

Point being, “You get a $26 increase in your income this month, I sure didn’t.”

This could be the primary reason Oklahoma and Utah now lead the nation in people hanging up landlines (regular telephone service) and switching over to cell phone usage (which we have been on for about five years, once again, ahead of the curve).  At least 26% of all households in these two states have got rid of regular phone service.  As times continue to get rough, medicine and groceries will fall beside the way, as the population searches for a way to cope.

But all hope is not lost.

Washington state this week passed a new same sex marriage proposal.  It would extend domestic partners all the rights and benefits that the state offers married couples under a measure passed by both houses.  Currently only married couples are mentioned including employment pensions, and public employee benefits.  Washington State is clearly stepping out into uncharted waters when compared to the rest of the country.

gay-girls

Another good news item is the James River in Richmond Virginia is now clean enough to swim in.  Now there is a novel idea, a river you can actually swim in.  Water tests showed that fecal bacteria had dropped to acceptable levels the Department of Environmental Quality said.  Which brings me to the obvious question:  “What is an acceptable level of poo-poo kaw-kaw nothing is acceptable to me, absolutely nothing is the level I want. anyway?” I mean, gee whiz, give me a break.  That is not acceptable in any way, shape, form or manner.

And finally.

If all this fails, you can move to California, where they are proposing to tax “pot sales.”  Now if you think about it, the nation’s pot heads have been paying a really high tax for years on this product, but it was to the Mafia or Organized Crime. 

Why not pay a tax to the local government instead, put the money in the hands of all those folks who KNOW how to spend it for your public GOOD.

Which gives us about $1 billion per year in added taxes revenue for all these tax strapped states that just cannot live on billions and billions per year in collected tax revenue.

Taxing Pot Heads … I Believe I have heard it all now.  A totally new meaning to the word “Reefer Madness.”

It is now time for me to close this off, head out to the front porch and maybe see if I can borrow some “medical marijuana” from my next door neighbor with the five dogs (the people who live two doors down on public assistance) . Mailman says every time he walks by there, they are out in the garage shooting pool on their cheap table with the crooked sticks, pumping out the rap on the boom-boxes and he says …. “I smell it, no doubt about it.”

Perhaps in the spirit of the day, they will share with me?

Twist one up and then I will sit there in the spring time warmth, and ask myself whether I want to hold the bowl of love or go out there in the Universe, in search of the meaning of life.  To do this with another person or do it alone, to feel that shield of love and glow that is incredible.  Again the nagging questions of life, to enter into another drug induced deep value introspective view of shallow relationships or just go back inside and watch The View.

Another wacky Thursday in a long line of run together crazy insane days.  When you give up religion and politics’ this is what is left ……. Not much.  Kind of like this bailout routine, this financial black hole we seem to find ourselves being sucked in to.  Think about it.

socilaism

OOO

First And Ten

tag

I sure hope they spell everything right?

This more than likely will kill my nomination for Okie Blog of the Year. Oklahoma City – Tag agencies across the state began issuing redesigned license plates Friday, to replace the green-and-white tags that have been around for 20 years. The new multicolor tags have “Oklahoma” spelled out at the top in dark letters bordered in gold.

At the bottom is a narrow blue band with the words “Native America” printed in pearl white. A friend of mine recently picked up a DUI after Christmas, when the cop stopped him and said, “Can I see your license?” he replied, “It isn’t on the back of the truck?”— Night in jail.

Sending it to the Landfill

Anchorage Alaska – Glass is no longer accepted for recycling in Anchorage. That means up to 150 tons of glass a month will go to the city dump. The primary reason given for the decision was a significant decrease in demand for the end product. The world economy keeps sinking, and the demand for raw products, decreases daily.

Legally Dead

Thirty-four (Count ‘em I said “34”) bowl games scheduled, you have enough chip and dip to cover the spread? If you watch half that many games you could or should be declared “legally dead” to the world. Here is what the average football fanatic wanted for Christmas this year.

Very surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bow, a die-hard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby. “It was my husband’s” the woman explained, “but he died.” “I am very sorry,” said the man. “Yet I am really surprised that another relative, or a friend, didn’t jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him.”

“Beats me,” she said. “They all insisted on going to the funeral.”

Poo-Poo Report, this is too good to be true. But it is.

Greenwich Connecticut – City officials said in a report that a sewer main break on Dec. 12 sent 28 million gallons of untreated waste-water into the Mianus River and Long Island Sound. The Environmental Protection Agency said it is one of the largest sewage spills in New England in recent memory, but officials say they don’t believe there will be any long-term damage to the environment. Now go back and read it again, look at the name of the river, it is almost as if it was made up, but it isn’t.

The Kansas equivalent of Sarah Palin? This dog isn’t going to hunt.

Topeka Kansas – Democratic Gov. Sebelius said a job in President-elect Barack Obama’s administration is still a possibility because she believes Obama will serve eight years. Sebelius took herself out of Cabinet consideration this month, citing the state’s budget problems. Some speculate the two-term governor will run for the U.S. Senate. The guy hasn’t even been sworn in for his FIRST TERM and people are now predicting his tenure is eight years? Give us a break Gov.

More stuff that doesn’t work

Readomatic this “New” wordpress.com feature they recently introduced, isn’t working, seems it posts your stuff now and then, but has some kind of tag problem.  So it appears that even tho’ it is a totally new year, wordpress.com still has the same old problems, just a new face on this one.

Hammered In The Deep South

Richmond Virginia – The sour economy has not affected Virginians’ taste for liquor. It’s just encouraged them to do more drinking at home, state Alcoholic Beverage Control sales figures show. From July through November, liquor sales to individuals rose 8.1%, while sales to bars and restaurants increased only 0.6%.

Me and the bride we are feeling alright about most of this. I recently went to the bank and cashed in all my CD’s and moved our money to a Canadian Company that manufacturers anti depressants.

Word Verbage: Hella. (1.) Very, totally. (2.) Lot of. Short for “a hell of a lot of.” Guy #1: That party was hella sketchy. What was with all those skanky girls. Guy #2: There was a hella weed, tho.

“I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.” Actual statement on an insurance form, in which the driver was trying to explain the accident in as few words as possible.

Coffee Drinking Do-Nut Eating Pork Barrel Hogs switch to Dunkin Donuts.

Dunkin Donuts is expecting a solid 2009 the rest of the country’s economic might appear to be rather bleak, but it looks good for Dunkin Donuts, they are sitting pretty and it all looks pretty sweet. They recently bumped off Starbucks as the #1 supplier of as the official coffee supplier of the U.S. Senate Restaurant.

Their new official slogan for the new year will be “You Kin Do It” sort of like Larry The Cable Guy’s … “Get ‘Er Done” I guess. I like their coffee, but at almost $7 a bag, it is too rich for my blood. But then again, I am a six pack Joe, as Caribou Barbie has said, not an overpaid blood sucking parasite in the U.S. Senate.

Bunker Mentality

Atlas Van Lines and Mayflower are reporting that most American’s are hunkering down and staying put. With economics in their current state, it appears that everyone is staying home and getting drunk.   Gasoline has went up in my area by .22 cents in two days, so it appears that the honeymoon is officially over, and they are coming around for another pound of flesh.

Amid a sour economy, one business appears to be thriving as the year comes to a close: counterfeiting. Arrests for the printing of fake money have hit a five-year high. If you get a bill with a picture of Cheney or Bush on it, don’t try and pass it.

(It is not “lots of. Short for a hella of a lot of.”)

The Fed’s are now reporting that the bankers have been fed, and they seem to be sated for the time being. Commercial banks and investment firms borrowed less from the Emergency Lending Program last week than in the previous weeks before that. They just averaged $86.3 billion per day, a drop from $88.4 billion the week before Christmas.

It appears that they have all they need … Me and the wife we are still trying our best to “Keep Up With Jone’es, but every time we catch them, they just go out and refinance.”

How about you — How you doin’?

000

God-Less Dawgs

bad_things_good_people_book

This mornings paper says that we are turning into a nation of pandering, God-less dogs, and that there is a decline in believers in this country.

In 2003, 90% of all American’s believed in a God, that is down to 80%.  82% of us used to believe in Heaven, now only 73% are sure it is still there.

68% of people surveyed believe in the devil (Satan) and only 59% appear to think he is still around.

69% of people believe that there is a place reserved for the evil, wicked and nasty, and only 62% in 2008 are now convinced of that.

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.  A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:  “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.  I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave his sister VD”.

“I was of course appalled, he went on to say. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people….”

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.  He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:  “I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. ‘In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.’

Moral:

Never,  Never,  Never Be Late

There is also a new survey out on Bush, if anyone cares.  America can’t wait for Bush to leave. Mr. Bush is currently on vacation in Crawford, Texas.  This is the #1 bush-to-bushPresident in vacation time, more than any other sitting president, and now that a new war has broken out in the Middle East he slinks away to Camp David.

He has decided to conveniently sit this one out (something he seems to be very good at Katrina, 9-11?) and is not going to intervene.  Most likely he would be totally ineffective anyway, that is what his track record implies 99.6% of the time. What is interesting is that this problem between Israel and The Palestinians this is the same thing that he said “he would alleviate or fix in the next 19 months before leaving office.”

Looks like the ship has sailed on this one too.

A new CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll finds that 75 percent of Americans are glad President Bush is leaving office; just 23 percent indicated that they will miss him. CNN notes that when Clinton left office, more Americans – 45 percent – said they would miss him. Twenty-eight percent also believe that Bush is the worst president
ever.

Next time you see a commercial on “Clean Coal” and all your buddies in the coal industry, think about this mess in Tennessee.

On last Monday, toxic coal sludge burst through a retention wall in eastern Tennessee, causing massive property and environmental damage. Federal studies have shown that coal ash contains “significant quantities of heavy metals like arsenic, lead and selenium, which can cause cancer and neurological problems.”

The incident – already being called the “largest environmental disaster of its kind in the United States” – may now be even worse than originally anticipated. Tennessee Valley Authority officials “initially said that about 1.7 million cubic yards of wet coal ash had spilled” in the disaster. Yesterday, however, they “released the results of an aerial survey that showed the actual amount was 5.4 million cubic yards, or enough to flood more than 3,000 acres one foot deep.”  Read more here:  Tennessee coal ash disaster three times larger than originally estimated.

Someone tried to hack my bank account.

Today when I went online to check some things, it gave me an error code, asked me to reset my password and I became suspicious, and went back to the original page and did it again (remember me?) and it gave me access.  It said that I had “exhausted all my available attempts at opening my account with my password.”  Which was not right, I had not been on the account in days, and I KNOW WHAT MY PASSWORD is, so that dog didn’t hunt.  I guess no one is impervious to this kind of behavior, sure didn’t think it would happen to me, but it has.  Ran a virus scan, which I had not done in a week or so, and there they were, four of them little nasty ##@##$@##@^* right on my hard drive.

Favorite Oklahoma Blog or Blog of the Year in Oklahoma

This is more or less “local news” Mike at OkieDoke.com has posted the necessary instructions for voting for your favorite Oklahoma Blog of the Year on his site.  If you wish to vote for Creative Endeavors or any other blog you want honored you can do it at his site.

More than likely all I will get is an “honorable mention” or something like that.  They are kind of “clannish” and “we are kind of independent” and I am not a dues paying member of the clan (mostly Staunch Republicans, and myself being a registered heathen dog …. hahahahaha).  Vote if you want to, everyone loves to vote!

Uh We just stepped out for some Twinkies and some Ding Dongs officer

Anchorage, Alaska — Fire caused by unattended cooking led to the discovery of marijuana plants at an apartment. Firefighters found more than 50 plants at the residence Saturday night. No one was home at the time, but when the occupants returned, police were waiting for them. Police forwarded the matter to the district attorney.

Now you know things are bad, when the Lottery is losing money

Richmond, Virginia — State lottery officials are hoping for a late surge in sales to push their second New Year’s Millionaire Raffle past the break-even point. As of Monday morning, about 190,000 tickets had been sold, officials said. The agency needs to sell about 300,000 by Wednesday night to avoid taking a loss.

Strange Doings In The Heart Land

Awhile back, I read this piece where a group of Islanders in the South Pacific wanted to fell a tree for a canoe, they would assemble the entire village and then after picking out a suitable tree, the entire village would walk around and around the base of this tree, shouting and yelling at it.  Their collective theory on this was that the “shouting and the yelling killed the tree” and when it eventually fell (because they had effectively trampled its shallow root system) they would harvest it for a canoe.

Now I am sorry, but I always considered this rather primitive and somewhat stupid.

Then today I read about this tribe in Vincennes Indiana — Residents in southwestern Indiana’s melon belt will celebrate the New Year by watching a 550-pound steel-and-foam watermelon soar into the sky and release nine real watermelons as the clock strikes midnight. The giant watermelon includes internal lighting, so it will glow as its lifted 100 feet by a crane.

All of sudden, all those folks in the South Pacific are looking much, much better.

000

Enhanced Average Joe

Thought it was going to be a slow day, but it finally appeared. The first totally ridiculous statement of the morning.

I heard one today I had never heard before, “enhance the male experience” now that has to be a first. I have heard it called a lot of things during the course of my years, but I have to admit.

I have never heard it called that.

“Honey, come on in here, so we can enhance the male experience! Aw C’mon sugar, you have to be here for some of it. Please?”

Best I move on.

Can we build one for you?

The automakers are really starting to cry the blues. Many of them won’t survive what is left of this year. Almost 600 of the 2,000 dealers nationwide are out of business now, and they are losing about two dealers per day to lagging sales. General Motors credit arm GMAC now requires a credit score of 700 or better to finance a new car.  This is what happens to you when you consistently build vannila wafer, cookie cutter, fuel gulping cars … you slowly die.

Packin’ Heat In Oklahoma.

Gun advocates in Oklahoma want laws to allow carrying guns in plain sight. In Oklahoma residents can get permits to carry concealed weapons but cannot display guns openly. A signature drive is trying to change that. I suppose this means we will not be allowed to bring them to church?

A man ran for the office of sheriff in a small Oklahoma town. The day after the election he was spotted walking down the street, with a firearm strapped to his right hip. His neighbor said to him, “Carl, how come you are a packing that pistol, you lost that election for sheriff yesterday.” And he just smiled and replied, “A man with as many friends as I have in this town, ought to be wearing a gun.”

Listen up! Do we have a deal for you!

Campaign seeks next “Joe The Plumber.” Are you the Joe the plumber type? A regular American who doesn’t want Barack Obama to be president? If so, Republican nominee John McCain’s campaign wants to hear your story, in the form of a 30 second video that might be used as one of their television ads.

Now I can hear you giggling and snickering in the background and you are not buying a word of it. But it is true (Have you ever known me to lie to you? Don’t answer that question.) McCains team announced an “I’m Joe The Plumber” contest. Go to johnmccain.com for details.

You could be the next average Joe to be chewed up and spit out by the Political Machine! Is this truly the land of opportunity or what?

We are all about labeling in this country, they are looking for “Average American’s” by their own admission but refer to them as Plumber Joe’s. Why is it we do this crap. Why is it that no one ever questions the use of thoroughly unnecessary terms such as “African American, Asian American, Hispanic American, to name a few.”

We are all Americans and we are not all plumbers.

Take me for instance, how come no one is looking for “Average-Angry-White-Taxpaying-Guy” because that is what I am … don’t know a thing about plumbing and that is a fact. A nation of people who cannot agree to speak the same language, make up modifiers to describe their brothers and sisters.

It’s easy take a shot at it: Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.  See, nothin to it.

How Do They Keep Their Shirts On With That Big Heart

Akron Ohio … “Who says big biz and the government don’t have a heart? Mortgage giant Fannie Mac this week said it would forgive the debt of a 90-year old woman who shot herself in the chest to avoid being evicted. She shot herself after deputies came to evict her from the home in which she had lived for some 40 years.

Book ’em Dano … Murder One.

Los Angeles California City police officers are more likely to stop and search black and Hispanic residents than they are whites, even though whites are more often found carrying guns and contraband, according to a report released by the American Civil Liberties Union of Southern California.

Only in California.

This is the same state that in 1989 had two school districts ban the book Little Red Riding Hood by the Brothers Grim. Was it because the Big Bad Wolf’s consumption of people seemed too violent? Nope. School officials thought the story might encourage children to drink because it depicts a bottle of wine in the basket Red takes to her grandmother.

You buy your tickets … Take Your Chances

Richmond Virginia. A technical problem with a new Virginia Lottery game may have led hundreds of players to believe they won bigger prizes than they did. Lottery officials caught the mistake in its Fast Play Super 7’s game after more than 2,300 tickets were sold. Officials blamed a software problem for the misprinted tickets and asked the Attorney General’s Office whether they must pay the expected prizes.

And finally, Green River Wyoming.

Sweetwater County is considering an ordinance that would spell out where sex shops could operate. The proposal also would prohibit sexually oriented businesses from advertising on signs placed on vehicles. Outrage over a sex shop sign posted on an abandoned school bus prompted the proposed changes. A sex shop is where you go to buy products that artificially enhance the male experience or fulfill your rubber fetish, whichever comes first.

Now if Y’all will excuse me, I need to go clean my gun (the one that does not require any kind of enhancement that is).

000

Parting shot: “It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for public office.”


Wake Up America …

Hurricane Ike is barreling down on the Texas coast, should be coming ashore there sometime today or possibly tomorrow, and I suppose we will be in for some rain.  Yesterday I was somewhat amused when they reported that “the hurricane is now passing over the western edge of Cuba and residents were being encouraged to evacuate.”

Evacuate?  To where?

(It is after all an ISLAND in the middle of the Caribbean dummies.)

NBC is reporting the dictator of Korea (Is that right?) hasn’t been seen in awhile, and there is speculation that he is ill.  The web is abuzz too.  Amid swirling rumors that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il suffered a recent stroke, sources close to the diminutive madman revealed that his collapse occurred shortly after he learned of GOP presidential nominee John McCain’s selection of a running mate.  Kim’s Stroke Related to McCain Choice

Our Reno, Nevada, correspondent sent me this yesterday:

“No matter how this comes out people are going to get what they deserve, nobody seems to understand that this is just bullsh**, a sideshow, and a poor one at that. I have no vote for either of these puppets.”

Art 

He also included:  LEBANON, Va. – What’s the difference between the presidential campaign before and after the national political conventions? Lipstick. The colorful cosmetic has become a political buzzword, thanks to Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s joke in her acceptance speech that lipstick is the only thing that separates a hockey mom like her from a pit bull.

Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama told an audience Tuesday that GOP presidential nominee John McCain says he’ll change Washington, but he’s just like President Bush.  “You can put lipstick on a pig,” he said to an outbreak of laughter, shouts and raucous applause from his audience, clearly drawing a connection to Palin’s joke even if it’s not what Obama meant. “It’s still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It’s still going to stink after eight years.”

We seem to have forgotten that individual acts have moral consequences.  If they don’t, then we lose our human dignity, which precisely is our capacity and obligation to make moral judgments.  This is why current opinion seems to think we must vindicate our values and our dignity by washing our laundry in public every now and then. From a personal standpoint, this has been one of the most undignified campaigns in American Political History, on either side of the fence.

Face it, this garbage is national fare almost every night on any of the channels.

Such are the times.

Much like my friend Art, I often find all of this interesting, sometimes repulsive, ugly, and just plain unbelievable.  It is no small wonder why when I inquire of someone with this simple question

“Who Are You Gonna Vote For?” …

I most often get …

Nobody, I am sick of this **** .


What we ought to do is come up with a totally new process, that will determine the character of a presidential nominee and see if he has what it takes.  All this constant lame blather about experience, who has what for the job, who can do this with that, is tiring and redundant.  It appears that we can no longer accept that a horse is dead in this country, we have to keep diggin’ it up day after day, to just insure it still smells bad.

Now we are being fed a diet of “old lame jokes or catch phases.”

If I read one more sappy interview about Palin or opinion on this McSame choice, Obammer …  One more side bar on who has no experience, I am going to lose my lunch.  With the current state of the world, economy, colonization of this country by foreign nationals, we surely have bigger fish to fry.

Wake Up And Smell The Coffee.

We don’t need to hear about mixed up, confused Soccer Moms, who kill and grill their own grub.  Catchy notes on Designer Eyeglasses and smart dressers.  More soundbites on misdirected virtually unknown politicians that are passionate individuals, considered poor choices made by seasoned veterans of the process, or that perhaps the choice was not a good choice by the lobbyists who run Karl Roves’, uh, McSame’s campaign.

I propose a new test for the Office of President.  Let us give them the quintessence of political hot-bed experience.  This elusive thing that they all seem to thirst for.

Put him-her (as the case may be)  in a Volksagen with bumper stickers that read, “Fight Terrorism with Love … National Pride … Rosanne Barr for Vice Pres … Same Sex Marriages … I love the ACLU .. Gun Control Now … Bring me your Daughters … Jesse Jackson for President … Free OJ … Bill O’Riely’s my cousin … Rush Is Wrong … Hug A Californian Today” and then have him-her drive from one end of Alabama or Mississippi, to the other side and give the Highway Patrol in both states the day off.

If they (he or she as the case may be) makes it through either of the states … Then I say, they have the right stuff to be our Prez.

000

Related: Wake Up America

Two Down … One More To Go.

“Although there were signs that its fall was imminent, the empire managed to stave Gotterdammerung for another two-hundred years.”

The Olympics wrapped up and now all the Chinese have to figure out, is how to pay for it all.  All the pageantry and the splendor, isn’t cheap, most countries that host the games end up with a huge tab when it is over.  Olympic games tend to cost an exorbitant amount of money.

The Democrats have concluded the speechifying, glorifying, and pontificating of their chosen hero’s or whatever reasonable facsimile of one, they could dredge up from the gene pool.  The fodder-rall is over in Denver with some noted casualties in the fray.

I hear that Bill Clinton got the loudest applause and roar from the crowd when he said the words “In Conclusion” at the end of his speech the other night.  Bill and Joe Biden seem to be running neck and neck on the verbosity issue, Clinton in the lead, and Biden speaking not in sentences, but rather paragraphs.

I don’t understand why Bill gets all this attention by the media and the Democrats, he has had his day in the sun.

Obammer was talking “Capital Gains Tax” again this week, which is nice, kind of like oatmeal for the masses, but let’s face it, this strategy doesn’t produce one gallon of gasoline, one barrel of oil.  This will do nothing but anger the beast.  You can try and teach a pig to sing, but it will not work, and all it does is irritate the pig.

Another energy genie was there.

Albert Gore has a plan, but his plan takes some ten years to get going, which isn’t going to provide any kind of immediate relief for our dilemma.  And don’t forget the other mover and shaker, T. Boone Pickens, working the room and glad handing those in charge of the federal purse strings.

He finally let the cat out of the bag on what he is really up to.  He says that we need to build a totally new power-grid in this country, and where do you suppose would be the first place that it would hook up?  And who do you suppose he wants to pay for it?

Is it just me or have you noticed, that no one seems to bring up the subject of our refining deficit, why is it no one wants to build a refinery or at best, even talk about it?

The people of the United States deserve a coherent energy policy, a policy that will offer them a future free from dangerous dependence on foreign oil.  We are now sucking down roughly 12 million barrels a day, to put it in the proper prospective.  Saudi Arabia pumps about 9 million barrels per day.  No one, can sustain levels like these.

Man, got my electric bill yesterday, all this hot weather, my tendency to sleep in a cool house at night, really adds up at the end of the month.  Across the nation electric rate hikes are on the move, at least seven states this week announced rate hikes of 20% or better.  The TVA (Tennessee Valley Authority) said the hike will raise about $2 billion and is expected to be passed on to about 8.8 million rate consumers.  They are blaming the high cost of fuel, and a three year drought that has lowered hydroelectric water levels.

Wonder what it is going to be like when everyone starts plugging in their electric cars?

Yesterday I commented on a poop shooter in Ohio that got fed a hand grenade for lunch.  Today it is a poop shooter seat auction in Lucas, Kansas.  An art gallery is hosting a show and benefit auction of toilet seats to raise funds for a new public restroom.  The Great Toilet Seat Art Show at the “Flyin’ Pig Studio and Gallery” will be held Saturday during the town’s annual Apple Festival.

Sounds like a fun place to take a date.  B.Y.O.P (Bring Your Own Paper)  Don’t forget your digital camera so we can post the photographs later on in the week.  I wonder if they will have “Sunday On The Pot With George” a painting in pointillist style (made up of dots) depicting a heavy man wearing only his underpants, sitting on a toilet.

One reviewer called the work “the single most memorable artistic experience in my life …   a bit like my recent  bout with shingles.”

Ralph Stephens in Virginia Beach is a happy camper this day.  He has won the $100,000 Jackpot in Virginia’s Lottery Cash 5 game three times.  He won on August 3rd of this year, in 1997, and repeated in 2007.  Last night we only had two numbers, not exactly collateral for a new house or a trip to Barbados.  But I believe I know why it is that we are not winning.

You see, they just don’t give you enough time “to wish upon the numbers” they are rolling them too fast.

You want paper or plastic?  Consumers seem to be slippin’ back into their old habits.  Plastic is being used more than cash (paper).  Some customers are using credit cards more often.  What their cards are buying:  Gas 70%, food groceries 67%, clothing 51%, Leisure activities 50% and health care 24%.

One more convention to suffer through and we will be done with it for awhile.

Then we can go back to the “good old days.”  Sit back and take it easy, until November and then finally put it to rest.  Ah … The Good Ol’ Days … When can we go back to wasteful consumerism fueled by reckless borrowing against our children’s’ uncertain future.

Is this a great country or what?

000

“The above material [cartoon] was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)