Negative Ruminations

imgresFor the first time in something like 200 years, a Pope is resigning and throwing in the towel.  Two books on the subject say that “the internal politic’s of the church” are the main culprit and that the stress and strain of dealing with it on a daily basis is why the Head Man In Charge is stepping down. 

Too many cooks will often spoil the soup, is what my Mama used to say, and it appears that all this negative influence has pulled the man down.  Details can be found here.

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

There was a woman who was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.  She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:  “Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome.  So, how are you getting there?” 

“We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” 

“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.  So, where are you staying in Rome?”

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome ‘s Tiber River called Teste.”  The hairdresser responded: “Don’t go any further. I know that place.  Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

Not to be deterred the woman getting her hair done responded:  “We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. “You and a million other people trying to see him.  He’ll look the size of an ant.  Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.” 

A month later, the woman again came in for a touchup on her hairdo.

The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.  “It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.  And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!” 

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”   

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.  Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”   

“Oh, really!  What’d he say?” the hairdresser asked.  The woman getting her hair done replied … He said: “Who ****** up your hair?”

Uh, no good huh?  Well whadya expect for free?

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Try this one on for size.

A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.  (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.  (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171  Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services.

Now please consider this: (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is estimated to be 80,000,000.  (Yes, that’s 80 million)  (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.  (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188  Statistics courtesy of FBI

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So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.  Remember that …  “Guns don’t kill people, doctors do.”

So here is the bottom line, where the rubber meets the road:

Not everyone has a gun … But … Almost everyone has at least one doctor.

This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner.  Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.  We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand! *

OOO

*Out of concern for the public at large, we withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention … (sorry Larry)

MR. LANGUAGE PERSON


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Whooooie, all those folks on the cruise ship and all that poo-poo hitting the whirly dirley, man-man.  The wife and I booked a cruise the other day, it is scheduled tentatively for this summer on the South Canadian River in McClain County.

It should be okay until we run into the sandbars, then I don’t know what we will do.

A friend of mine and I, have been swapping emails and discussing proper grammar.  Which got me to thinking … often a dangerous thing, let me tell you.  From time to time, I get bad at two things, run on sentences and repeating myself.  Really do not have a clue as to why I am doing this, but I have noticed here of late, I am repeating some of my words in my posts.  This can be fixed.  I will do my best to correct this in the future.  Here is something interesting I came across the other day, the entire post had something like 500 words and a great deal of it read just like this:

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“In the sour tangy scent of gasoline and spilled oil and the glare of the lonely lights, I felt for a moment as though I was standing in the cold wind at a truck stop somewhere at some nameless exit off some nameless highway, anywhere along any of the routes I’ve driven in past three years, from little towns in the middle of the midwest en route to or from Wyoming, or somewhere in the dark of the night in the mountains of Pennsylvania or Virginia, filling the tank of a passenger van or wrestling the truckers’ pumps into the diesel dually, a horse trailer swaying softly in the darkness as the animals within shift their weight, resting their joints from the jostle of motion. I’ve driven nowhere near as many miles as my former-truck-driver father, who I am sure spent countless night standing in the cold to fuel his truck, his breath rising and vanishing in a white cloud about his bowed head, hands shoved in pockets, mind moving from point A to point B, thoughts on the goal destination, the miles traveled, miles left to go, condensing breath mingling with snowflakes in dull gas station lights.”

Incredible.

This might be why people are so stingy with the Like Button or pull up short on commenting.  Now if you are a regular reader of this electronic-digital-rag, then you know I am not known as Mr. Language Person, but this?  Man, something has to be wrong with this.  The first sentence has 125 words before you find a period (.), and the entire paragraph close to 200 words.

Who has time to read stuff like that?

I suppose that is what a WordPress.com reader is all about, it gives you the ability to see the good, along with the bad, and in the course of things, it also shows you what to do and what NOT to do.  Anyway, speaking for myself, I know I can do better on this site and I am going to make an effort to do just that.

All of this reminds me of the old story where a guy decided to check out of the Rat Race and become a Monk.  So he traveled to Tibet, found a monastery and joined the order.  One of the requirements of the monastery he was told he was to limit all conversation to just two words per year.

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The first year he was there, he told the head Monk, “bed hard.”  The second year he was there he again told the head Monk, “Food Bad.”  At the end of the third year, he looked at the Monk and said, “I Quit!”

The head Monk looked at him, shook his head and then replied … “Well, it is no small wonder, all you have done since you got here is complain.”

See you at the Water-Cooler.

OOO

Back Home and Re-Charged

Hey!  We are back and it is good to be home. 

October 1st, 2012 gimme a ghoulish vampire or monkey mask and a big ol Pumpkin, fall is in the air!

Our first bus adventure took us deep into the heart of the state of Texas and then later on, up to the Southeastern portion of our home state Oklahoma.  We met with friends there, enjoyed a story or two, and some good food, then came back home.  (Pictures are included here, please follow the links.)

More or less floated a day or two with some other friends here at the Goat Farm and then attended another bus get together 35 miles from the house.  This was at a gathering entitled The Three Amigo’s in Oklahoma City where met and made new friends, where we were introduced to some very interesting people in that group.  Its always nice to make new friends with which to mingle.

It has been an interesting and productive couple of weeks.  The bus has been backed into the shop and it is sitting there kind of forlorn and sad (If a bus is capable of such things?), waiting on our next adventure whenever that might be.

A great deal has happened in our absence and there are a lot of new items to be pushed to the front burner of the stove. 

For instance we went shopping at the Mall in the Dallas area recently and I discovered that I am now a minority in my own country.  Perhaps one of these days I will write an article on it entitled A Foreigner In My Own Land or something.  Walking along with the wife in this shopping mall, surrounded by people of middle eastern origins, blacks, mexicans, and the presence of very few white people, surely was an eye opener for me.

America is changing incredibly fast these days.

Give and you shall receive:  Reading newspapers in restaurants in different cities has always been one of my hobbies.  I read where a Dallas girl, had found $2,000 and handed it over to the authorities and was finally rewarded for her honesty.  There is however, a glitch here, there is always a glitch.

She did the right thing, no doubt about it when she found the money in a sack in a north Dallas parking lot and turned it in to police.  They told her that if no one claimed the money, she would be entitled to it.

After waiting the allotted amount of time, she went to collect the money and was told that the city was going to keep the money after all.  The resulting media outcry prompted an unnamed donor to reward her with $4,000.  The the city reconsidered their stingy bastard behavior and gave the teenager the $2,000.  In the end, for her honesty, she was $6000 better off.

It is a shame cities or governments have to be forced to do the right thing these days.

Stoooopid Crook Files:  A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”  While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window.

So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.  She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.  I just love stooopid crook stories, they always make me smile.

Reach Out and Bug Somebody:  Employee’s of an Amtrak train headed for Salem, Oregon, stopped the train so that a 39 year old man could be escorted off the train at a non-scheduled stop.  The man allegedly spent “16 hours” talking on a cell phone in a “quiet” car.

Everywhere we went this year, the phones and the electronic’s were there.  My wife even has her phone rigged up to automatically send a photo that she has taken, back home to the computer and placed into storage.

Imagine that.

This simple feat of technology just amazes me.  I have pictures in my cellphone that are over three years old, I don’t know where it is they reside, nor do I know how to retrieve them and get them out of there.  Now …. Ask me if I care?  That are about it for today, we are back, somewhat rested and in the groove, hope you enjoyed the brief hiatus as much as we did.

OOO