Pass Me That Twinkie ….

TwinkiesA recent study in Sweden has confirmed this.  Researchers took samples of fat cells from volunteers over the course of several years; they discovered that no matter how much the subjects’ weights changed, their number of fat cells remained the same.

So your fat cells grow and shrink in your body, but they remain the same.  You are actually “friends with your fat.”

Isn’t that repulsive.

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Soaking It Up

Taxing Your Water:  In Oklahoma if you build a pond on your property, you do not own the water that backs up behind the dam.  In order to “actually own the water in your pond” you have to go to the State Water Resources Board and apply for a permit to own the water behind your dam.  Now that permit by the way, costs you $28 and some change.  And we wonder why one out of every three citizens suffers from some form of mental illness here.

Having to admit that this seemed a little bit ludicrous and just slightly unfair, I have discovered that in Oregon that the city of Medford “owns core rights to all sources of water” which most people would think did not include the rain falling from the sky.  But a local resident who had backed up water in three ponds on his property has been sentenced to jail for thirty days for collecting water on his property.  He of course fought it in court, but the court disagreed and now he is serving the jail time.

 What is next … The very air that we breathe?

Is it real or is it NASA:  Have any of you observed the first photo’s back from the Martian landscape sent by the Mar’s Rover.  They looked a great deal like shots of Nevada and parts of Utah.  “You would really be forgiven for thinking that NASA was trying to pulll a fast one on you” wouldn’t you?

While we are on the subject of photo’s?  WordPress.com recently changed up their photo editor and we have a totally new deal now.  It really sucks.  You have a difficult time sizing all of the photo’s to the same size, and it often makes photo posting a nightmare and ugly as hell.

The slideshow presentation is now a thing of the past and generally speaking, it really is not an improvement but more of a step backwards.  It of course is “free” not asked for and in this case, “you get what you pay for” which isn’t much.  If you truly want to post “jagged uneven pictures and not have a slide show presentation, this is what it looks like.

 Pretty sad.

Twinkies Are Long Gone:  My favorite confectionary has bit the dust, Twinkies, so yummy, so good, containing so many chemicals and unknown ingredients, you could leave them outside for a year, and they would still be good.  They are now gone.  Which will be bad for all of us in Oklahoma who have the appearance of poster boys for Weight Watchers, Inc.  But there is hope, we are still not the fattest state in the nation.  Mississippi just took the national honors on that, and for the sixth straight year in a row, remains on top of the junk food pile.  Louisiana and West Virginia were close behind, while Colorado ranked as the skinniest state.

Thick Crust and Another Layer of Government Please:  The president of Papa John’s Pizza has announced that if Obamacare goes thru the cost of a pizza will go up about .20 cents.  He has some 1,600 employees, most of who are currently uninsured.  He will have to raise the price of the average pie in order to meet the federal mandated costs associated with health care for employees.

And he is not alone, Burger King, Quiznos, Dunkin’ Donuts have all stated that this new wrinkle in the fabric of American life will increase their respective costs some $30,000 per year.

And of course, “they will pass the cost on to the consumer.”  What the government and the rest of the nation seems to fail to realize is this one simple fact of life.  “A lot of this they are passing off to the consumer, is just another burden laid upon our nation’s poor.”

No one seems to recognize the fact that we are not some kind of insatiable sponge and can soak up everything that comes down the line.  Sooner or later, it is going to have to give, and when this happens, it is going to get ugly.

OOO

The Simpatico Jogger

Big Daddy Is In Trouble

Big Daddy Is In Trouble

Ran into a friend at the Mall the other day, I went out there to carouse the book store and get some chinese, I like that Chinese Food.  He said “How you doing, I notice you have put on some weight.”

Which I thought was rude and I just told him that “I was my perfect weight if I was seven feet tall.”

And left it at that.

Contrary to popular belief, I do allow one every now and then to slip one by, and let them win a round.

Came home and turned on the TV, sat down with my take out of Moo Poo Gia Pan and finished off the day.  Watched the news and some infomercials.  There could be a small grain of truth in the statement, “Television will turn your brain to Oatmeal.”

I suppose if you watch it enough, it could be possible. I am especially drawn to those wonderful late-nite commercials where all the smiling people invite you to lose “30 lbs. in 30 days.”

Which we all know, is of course, impossible.

That was yesterday and this is today.  This morning, I am down around my ankles, wiping off the morning shower with a big fluffy towel, that is oh so warm and inviting, a caress to my tired old wrinkled skin. I am bent over and I am dutifully drying my ankles and I am wondering to myself, “Do I need to do anything else why I am down here, because I am definitely not coming back down here any time soon.”

And then there is the other nagging question of “Is a quart of water supposed to come out of your belly-button when you bend over?” … is that natural?  I wipe the condensate from the mirror and look upon my reflection in the mirror and I think to myself, “I need to lose some weight.”

Once again, I think of the “lose 30 lbs. in 30 day thing” as I scratch parts of my lower extremities I have not seen in close to five years now. It is appealing, the thought of being able to lose all that weight with the mere snap of a finger.

Stop and consider right now, how convenient that would be. You come home from a hard day at work, open the old mailbox and there it is, “the invite to the Class Reunion” and you suddenly discover that you have but six months to lose 30 lbs and of course, find a life.

But we all know that unless you are willing to sacrifice a limb or check yourself into a concentration style fat farm in Sunny-Southern-Arizona, losing 30 lbs in 30 days (yet alone six months) is virtually impossible.

As I am somewhat pragmatic I always try to do the math, see if it actually adds up.

In order to lose one pound of body mass (without sacrificing or losing a body part) you have to create a 3,500-calorie deficit. You can accomplish this feat in one or two ways. You can either feed your body, 3,500 fewer calories than it needs to support itself, or you can increase your activity level and burn off an extra 3,500 calories.

If you want to lose 30 lbs., you’ll have to create a total caloric deficit of 105,000 calories. The average person, eating 2,800 calories a day, consumes only about 84,000 calories. The average person, eating 2,800 calories a day, consumes only about 84,000 calories each month.

Even if you stopped eating completely, you’d still have to burn an extra 21,000 calories through exercise to lose some 30 lbs. in 30 days. (Is you’d a real word?) Running two miles or engaging in two hours of intense aerobic exercise every day for an entire month would take care of those extra 21,000 calories.

Maybe you can combine total starvation with a strenuous daily workout, but in my case, I just do not see that happening. Running two miles per day would put me some sixty miles out into the Panhandle of Oklahoma and a tad bit lighter.

Nope, that sure isn’t happening here, not today.

A wise person knows his limitations in life, I am not that heroic guy who rides the Tour De France with courage and ultimate victory, a Lance Armstrong I am not. I cannot make laps in an Olympic size pool and swim like a seal. I have to shoot for lesser events in my life, like maybe walking to the end of the driveway and back.

Might shoot for the Annual Mt Airy “Mayberry Festival” in Mt. Airy, North Carolina, where they celebrate each September “The Andy Griffith Show” and attend Mayberry Days. There is a statue of Andy and Opie and replicas of Floyd’s Barber Shop, the jail and Andy’s house.

I might fit in just fine there.

Screw the reunion, I am gonna have a Twinkie.

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