Hump Day Fodder

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Let’s get busy boys!

WASHINGTON – House and Senate leaders marked the first day of the 111th Congress by preaching bipartisanship Tuesday and promising to start work quickly on President-elect Barack Obama’s economic proposals and issues ranging from climate change to health care.

Oaths of office were administered, anti-war protesters staged demonstrations and lobbyists cruised through a series of receptions to celebrate the day. More than a few new members said they were eager to get started.

Cheney administered the oath of office to several people and swore in Joe Biden.  Let us hope that he doesn’t turn old Joe into a Cat’s-paw like he did with Bush.

Oxymoron — National Intelligence.

Mr. Obama has picked the leaders of his intelligence team, taping former White House chief of staff Leon Panetta as CIA Director, and retired admiral Dennis Blair as head of National Intelligence.  Which is what we didn’t seem to have a lot of under this last regime of bozo’s.

During the 9-11 crisis I understand that Bush sent Connie to Ireland to pick up some sensitive information from an agent named Murphy.  Her instructions were to walk around the town using a code phrase until she met this fellow agent.  She found herself on a desolate country road and finally ran into an Irish farmer.

Hello” she said, “I am looking for a man named Murphy.”

Well you are in luck little lady” the farmer replied, “As it happens there’s a village right over the hill where the butcher is named Murphy, the baker is named Murphy, and three widows are named Murphy, matter of fact, my name is Murphy.”

Aha, Connie thought to herself, here’s my man.  So she whispered the secret code to the farmer:  “The sun is shining — the grass is growing — the cows are ready for milking.

Oh” said the farmer, “you are looking for Murphy the spy — he’s in the village over in the other direction.

Sin Tax — I told you Atlanta was a fun place

Atlanta – A legislator favors imposing a fee on strip club patrons. State Sen. Jack Murphy of Cumming said he’d like to see Georgia charge between $3 and $5 per person. The Republican said the money could go to child abuse programs and services for young people caught up in child prostitution or other sexual exploitation.

Taxing a lap dance, man, that is rich.  Wonder how much they will collect for a … oh never mind.

Now as an illustration of how impossibly wrong ALL OF THIS IS and how fast it can get out of control, the “Porn Industry” is asking for $5 billion in aid from the government.  Do you realize how stupid we must appear to be to the rest of the “sane people” inhabiting this planet.  You can read all about it here.

Letting it all hang out

VAIL, Colo.  – A guy who dangled upside down from a ski lift with his bare bottom exposed probably doesn’t want to hear any “ski bum” jokes.  Officials at Vail Resorts in Colorado say the 48-year-old man was trying to get on the Blue Ski basin lift on New Year’s Day. They haven’t said what went wrong, but he got hung up, and his pants came down.  Workers stopped the lift, backed it up 10 or 12 feet and rescued the man after about seven minutes. His name hasn’t been released.

Bystanders snapped photos and posted them on the Internet, showing a man who looks to be hanging by one ski boot, his ski pants and underwear apparently snagged in the chair and reaching no farther than his knees.  Now the resort wants to fire the employee who took the pictures on his day off and posted them to the net, claiming it was not in good taste.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

ST. PAUL, Minn — A scorned 21-year-old told her ex-boyfriend that he couldn’t prove she was the one who vandalized his apartment on three occasions – but then, police said, she posted a picture of the damage on MySpace. The woman was charged with two felonies for the vandalism.

According to a criminal complaint she doused the inside of his house with paint – splashing it on the walls, toilet, washing machine, computer and other furniture. She also allegedly filled the house with trash, impaled a teddy bear on a pole with a knife through its head, and caused other damage. The woman was still on the lam Tuesday.  Yeah, it sounds like she was set-up to me … Not!

Thinning of the herd

A German billionaire caught up in the world Banking/Wall Street Mess, has evidently stepped in front of a train thus ending his life and stopping his failed business empire that was sinking rapidly.  He is now the third known suicide worldwide to be caught up in this mess.  His death was listed as a railway accident, if he had jumped out of a window for instance, that would have been massive deceleration.

It’s official now – You are screwed.

Earlier in the week we reported that the fund for the television converters was going under, the government officially announced that it is now tapped out.  $1.34 billion in money ran out on Sunday, and now anyone who wants a converter box coupon will be placed on a waiting list.

Amazing, when you want it from them, you are on a list, when they want it, they just waltz in there and take it.

Now for the good news, only 103,000 people are on the list ahead of you.  18 million coupons have already been redeemed and now you will just have to wonder about it all.  Why women on TV always have skimpy low-cut blouses, are trim neat, appear fantastic, are always on top when they have sex with the guy next door.  And of course, “will I ever get a box and be able to watch television again?” $40-$70 for a box and no luck, trillions to a banker and you know the rest dont’cha?

Dancin’ with Jose — Cha-Cha-cha.

With dropout rates soaring among Hispanic students, mariachi music programs, long popular in parts of Texas and California, are spreading to schools across the country to help keep the nations largest and fastest-growing ethnic group academically engaged.  We can’t teach them English, nor civics, or manners but we are going to teach them all to dance?

The Best for Last — Laura Bush to publish a memoir

First Lady Laura Bush has just signed with Scribner Books to write her memoir.  A 2010 release date is expected, no word on how much she is being paid.  I would more than likely venture that her book will be vastly better than Sarah Palin’s or Joe the Plumber.  I can just see it there in my minds eye —

Chapter Two, it is late at night, the White House is eerily quiet, I look at George asleep in the bed, his head is on the pillow, he looks so at peace with the world.  The fruit jar full of gasoline is in my left hand, and the BIC lighter in my right, I tell myself over and over … trying to convince myself … It is for the good of the country, it is for the good of the country.”

I can’t wait.

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