All Pumped Up

I’m sorry but the smell of popoperie (sp) makes me nauseous.

Again we shop up for the Olympic games and before it is even started, we are embarrassed.  USA team to be decked out in Chinese made attire.  Kind of sad, we cannot find an American company that can clothe our team, we have to buy all of our stuff from foreigners.

It was right here hon, that is where I left it:  A Texas man has recovered his stolen car after only 42 years.  I wonder what it would have been like if you had gotten a parking ticket on that day, and it was still in the glove box?  Now that would have been something, huh?

Are you kidding me.  A woman was terminated for giving someone “the look.”  Van Ness says she was fired by Plus One Health Management, the parent company that operates Facebook Fitness Center, just two weeks after the incident.  In her termination letter, she says she was accused of “making a spectacle” of the texting student by stopping class to glare at her.

Human Illusions:  Here is some interesting photography for you to browse:  The one I found the most interesting was “Life Of The Party.”  Pretty cool stuff, check it out.

Something to think about.  I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well for my age. (having just turned Sixty-four).  A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’

He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?’

‘Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I’m not doing drugs, either.’

Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’

‘I said, ‘Not much … My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy.


’Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’

‘No, I don’t,’ I said.  He asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?’

‘No,’ I said.

He looked at me and said,.. ‘Then, why do you even care?’

Fill ‘er up!  The U.S. Navy angered Republicans by spending $26 a gallon for biofuels for this week’s Great Green Fleet demonstration, but the Air Force received little attention when it paid twice as much per gallon to test synthetic jet fuel last month.

The Air Force bought 11,000 gallons of alcohol-to-jet fuel from Gevo Inc, a Colorado biofuels company, at $59 a gallon in a program aimed at proving that new alternative fuels can be used reliably in military aircraft – once, that is, their pricing is competitive with petroleum, which now costs $3.60 a gallon.  The cost of the Air Force demonstration – $639,000 – was far less eye-catching than the $12 million the Navy spent for biofuels to power a carrier strike group on alternative energy for a day.

I swear, it is almost as if the inmates are running the asylum anymore. 

What the hell do we need a carrier strike group for anyway. 

Someone attacking Cleveland?

Wait it gets even better:  Now that we have that out of the way, I will give you this little tid bit about some poor guy who got pumped up in Nashville recently.  Some poor slob went to fill up his automobile, bought $30 worth of gas and his bank charged his account $84,000.

NINJA Warrior attacks landscaper … I will show you Grasshopper!  Oregon State Police arrested 28-year-old Theodore G. Sanarov of Salem on Saturday after he was spotted swinging a three-foot samurai sword and swearing at a state parks employees near the State Capitol building.

When arrested by police, Sanarov was reportedly yelling obscenities at a landscaper near the State Library and Public Service Building at 8:23 a.m. on Saturday.

I guess he did not know about the new federal mandate, that clearly limits the capitols of each state to “only one idiot at a time.

Political buzz word file.  The word “momentum” has now officially been assigned to the trash pile and in its place will be the word “carefully.”  This is in order to keep the masses interested in this three-ring circus that currently consumes the media these days.

I got this from my off shore banker friend, who had called me to tell me that the Swiss bank account money had been deposited over the weekend.  Here I will use it in a sentence for you:  “Both candidates have picked up campaigning momentum and are now carefully raising funds for re-election.”

Romney has so far raised 103 Million … Obama 74 Million … all this for two guys claiming they are not for sale.

Now I am off to our family reunion, one of the annual rites of passage in the summertime.  We all meet at the family center in the middle of a small town (used to be the Phillips 66 station) to greet and meet, take pictures, eat fried chicken.  And of course, there is always the very old geezer that comes up to you, smiles and then says …. Hey Kid?  Pull my finger.


Also Related:  The Greek Girl Made In China

Litin’ Up

My website grader says I have too many pictures on my site, it will slow down the process of loading, and therefore, it is not a good idea.  I say “be patient” it is worth the wait, besides, I like the pictures.

It’s that time of year once again: The summer sun has slipped away, brittle leaves waltz, and winter waits to cloak us in its dark, cold hood.  The wind across the American Prairie has picked up and is tearing at the corner of your eye, parts of Amarillo blow into town every other day, and you just know, winter cannot be far away.

The easy days of light and freedom are behind us, and now we gather ’round for a season of more serious celebrations — our yearly time to burrow in, reconnect, contemplate. and of course, lite the heater, man I just love the smell of burnt rust filling the home.

Nothing says change of season better than the smell of burnt rust, and of course, the sound of Christmas Music playing in the local stores.

No Confidence.

Sarah Palin’s Alaskan paper has endorsed Obammer for President, how embarrassing is that? You cannot even muster up enough support in your home state for a vote of confidence. Fact of life, in medieval times, Europeans burned witches at the stake, and the families had to pay for the firewood. Now days we take them to Neiman Marcus in Dallas, spend a couple of hundred grand on them and elect them to office.

Eight more days and then all the serf’s can go down to register their protest and vote in the next king for the kingdom. It has deteriorated so badly we are now electing people who will not furnish proof of citizenship to the highest office in the land.

Don’t Vote For Anyone.

One stronghold of “common sense” has been located over the weekend.  In Wisconsin.  Madison, the state’s largest farm lobby won’t endorse anyone for president. The 42,000-member Wisconsin Farm Bureau Federation’s lobbyist, Paul Zimmerman, said the decision was based on members’ mixed reactions to its endorsement of George W. Bush in 2004 – the first time the group made such a move. Just when you were thoroughly convinced that the voting populace had lost their collective minds, a ray of hope appears on the horizon.

Monkey See Monkey Do.

The popularity of Joe The Plumber has finally been noticed by the Barack Obamma people and now they are going to put their own spin on it with, they are going to feature their own personalities in commercials, Joe The Mobster, Jeremiah The American Hating Preacher.  Watch for it on a station near you.  Fidel Castro has endorsed Obammer for President, afterwards Obammer just shrugged it off and said “that he was just some guy who lived in the neighborhood.” So much for the “Messiah News.” … The Second Return of JC. (Second Return of Jimmy Carter)

Getting Out The Vote.

Washington state sent 24,000 ballots to felons who were not allowed to vote, and apparently sent these same felons, invitations to Obammers inauguration as well.  In a recent poll, McSame leads Obammer some 9% with people who display the American Flag.  But on the same token, Obammer does lead McSame by people who burn the American flag.  A group of lawyers has successfully blocked the release of the movie “Hanoi Hilton” until after the election.  We surely do not want Hollywood trying to influence an election not in this day and age.

What’s Your Problem.

Best Buy evidently has put out a new logo which will accurately help to improve the company’s surly image.  It is a picture of a teenager rolling his eyes and looking towards the ceiling when a customer asks him …. “Can you tell me where the DVD’s are?”

Cough it up

Panhandlers in an eastern Tennessee city (Chattanooga) pay fines and court costs at a low rate, with about 3% in the last 18 months.  Apparently the street beggars in that city are somewhat reluctant to pay their fines.  The Chattanooga Times Free Press reported Sunday Chattanooga City Court has collected only $279.75 of the $8,958.75 of the fines and court costs levied since the City Council expanded downtown’s no-panhandling zone in May 2007.  The paper reported, there’s essentially nothing the city can do to force the payments or punish non-payers more severely.

Let’s see, your employer laid you off, your 401K vaporized, you lost your home and now you are living on the street, under an overpass, in a comfortable cardboard appliance carton, and all of your belongings are in a shoppin’ cart.  How could they possibly punish you any more?

Dressed in red, white and blue, drag queen Gina Maseratti walked down Southard Street in Key West asking Fantasy Fest revelers for their support: `Vote for Maseratti, your next president.” What’s her platform? ”High heels,” she said. `It’s all about the shoes.”

On a more serious note, Maseratti explained: `I’m a member of the Drag party: Drastic Reform of American Government. I’ll save you on money because I can be president, vice president and First Lady all in one.”

Do You Want A Bong With That? Rocky Mountain High.

A Lakewood couple found a small bag of marijuana in a bag of food picked up at the drive-in of a Del Taco Restaurant.  Twenty-six-year-old Dennis Klermund, who police say waited on the husband who stopped at the restaurant Oct. 16, faces possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Steve Davis on Saturday said the couple called police after discovering the bag with their food order.

An officer said Klermund initially denied any knowledge but when a search dog found the drug in a locker, admitted the baggie was meant for a friend. Restaurant Ulises Montero said Klermund no longer works there. A message left for Klermund was not immediately returned.

The best for last.

Joe Scarborough, a commentator for MSNBC, failed to check his facts when he reported that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had advocated destroying the moon. Scarborough quoted Schwarzenegger as saying, “If we get rid of the moon, women … those menstrual cycles are governed by the moon … will not get PMS. They will stop whining.”

Scarborough then chided Schwarzenegger for insensitivity, saying: “I don’t know how it works in Austria, but let me tell you something, friend. Jokes about such matters are not laughing subjects to women in America.”

It turned out however, that the statement was not being made by Schwarzenegger but rather by an impersonator who appeared on the Howard Stern Radio Show. Eleven days later, Scarborough apologized to viewers for “my terrible mistake. Anyone who relies on the Howard Stern show for information is an idiot; you would be better off sticking with Email.


It Is Gonna Be Just Fine

Then Joe Biden sez ...

And then Joe Biden sez ....

The 2nd Great Debate went down and now I have everyone explaining it to me as if they didn’t do enough of that last night?

Another taste of the “dumbing down of America” courtesy of CBS, ABC and NBC.

We may soon be losing “Biggy Rat & Itchy Brother” and the replacements, don’t seem to be that outstanding or remarkable to the average voter

(Or as Yummy Mummy calls him … Six Pack Joe).

Other than “ABC’s Dancin’ With The Stars” (please shoot me!) the fare was rather limited. But that is nothing new for television, America’s vast wasteland of entertainment. So I watched the sorry mess last night, and it was not with great anticipation, just out of routine and morbid curiosity you might say.

No new revelations … Kind of like Chinese Food, it is okay while you have it, but later on, you are going to be hungry for something else.

So everything is cool, the “Street” is under control (for the remainder of this year anyway or until the check bounces), we are friends with the Russians (sort of) but they are rattling the swords again. Not like the old days, when they took all of their dangerous stuff and dismantled it.

We then in turn, did the American thing, gave them billions of dollars in cash to spend.

Our biggest trading partner China, which bought up most of our debt in the past, suddenly isn’t anywhere to be found. We bought all of their junk, and as an added bonus, gave them most of our nuclear secrets and technology. They recently launched astronauts into space so they studied well. Bush I understand asked them “if they could see the red states changing color while they were up there?”

So, nothing to worry about.

Now, all the little kiddies that had to duck and cover, hide under their desk in grade school for an Atom Bomb drill, are safe, and they don’t have to worry about their grandchildren either. The economy and oil companies are eating our lunch a little bit slower now (kind of like being snake bit, taking ‘em awhile to kill us all off). We don’t have to worry about “The Big Red Button” and the dog eaters north of the fortieth parallel and we can trust that they will not be tempted to play with their nuclear toys during the upcoming holidays.

Please do not forget … We now have The Alaskan Moose Gooser Yummy Mummy … And she is watching them from her front porch.

About the only disarmament debate that will be important is the short walk to your car after the movies. And perhaps, who is waiting in the parking lot for you and your purse and/or wallet. Lot of folks walking around with no pocket money, hungry kids at home, and no job. Did you notice that McSame neglected the word “Middle Class” last night, just as he did in the debates/convention before.

The Little People no longer count for anything in America. Sorry.

Get back in line and shaddup.

I guess the only thing we have to worry about (other than flat out starving too death) is people joyously shooting off firearms into the air at New Years, catching a random slug of lead dropping from the atmosphere. The country, according to those who are supposed to be in the know, seems to be just hunky-dory.

I know it so … they were on every channel last night … Brokaw said it was so.

So that means you will never have to worry about paying $10 for a movie that is so bad, that you get up and leave, half-way thru it. You don’t have to worry about Poison Ivy or Lime Disease on your next trip to the seashore. Things are so good, you don’t even have to worry about taking the trash out, until you hear the truck comin’ down the street.

Things have improved so much, gas is down around $2.60 a gallon (what a bargain that is, eh?) and you no longer have to worry about the character of Hillary, Bill or The Pope. Electricity have gotten so high, I can no longer afford to leave the lights on in the garage, when I drive north to Ponca City to take pictures of a “Real Honest to goodness Oil Refinery” that my nephew in Nashville, Tennessee has never seen.

I am now reassured that I will never have to call a plumber to fix anything, will not gain anymore weight, pay more than $40,000 for a car that gets lousy mileage while hauling six full grown adults. Things have gotten so good, that I am fairly sure that I will never have to stand behind anyone at China-Mart with coupons in their hand. Realize that the best things in life are free … but they are still expensive as hell … when they are not on back order.

That’s what they’re telling me.

As the hole in the ozone depletes and gets much, much bigger, all of this might be our ultimate destiny and we may see it a lot sooner thanks to Cheney & Bush. I don’t even believe the inventor of the Internet, Albert Gore, has the answer anymore.

So now all we have to worry about is whether any of these bozo’s have a grasp of world affairs (highly unlikely), people who seem to completely ignore what Ronald Reagan proved a decade ago. That we as American’s need to be more tolerant of folks who require neither intellect nor knowledge in our elected leaders. A winning smile, a cheerful disposition and a little self-deprecating humor will go a long ways, this little thing if done correctly, will do just fine for us.

The down home Town Meeting is over, and I am reassured.

Wait!  I know this one, I really do.

Wait! I know this one, I really do.

What did I learn? More good-guy opportunists, more bad guy opportunists, more average-guy opportunists, will apply for the lucrative benefits of EVEN MORE government soon.

More greed and a continued lack of compassion for our less-privileged brothers and sisters will prevail.

Science, in the third millennium since Christ, will continue to expand while we continue to remain as we are, predatory beasts with opposing thumbs.

All you have left to do is vote for your favorite American hero on November 4th.

(Twenty-Six more days)



Man, I love dumb crooks. Police in Hillsborough, North Carolina, responded to a call from a bank about a man who was acting suspiciously. Capt. Dexter Davis confronted the man asked if he had a weapon. “He pushed his book bag off his shoulders, opened the bag up and held it open to me to show he didn’t have a gun,” Davis said. When Davis looked inside, there was a note in clear view. It read, “I want $10,000 in $100 bills. Don’t push no buttons, or I’ll shot you.” Davis laughed out loud, and then arrested Christopher Fields (who was also carrying a 10 inch knife) and turned him over to the F.B.I..

Now this, is an addiction. Fairbanks – A man is accused of using a chain saw to break into the village store and steal thousands of dollars worth of tobacco and candy. Nathan Henry, 19, was charged with felony burglary and felony theft, according to state troopers. A manager of the store complained after finding a 3-foot hole in one side of the log building that had apparently been cut by a chain saw.

Thieves are the hardest working people I know.

A cool one?  Temper-temper. Boise – A woman who dumped a soft drink she hadn’t paid for onto a counter at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center here was charged in federal court with three misdemeanors. Natalie Walters, 39, faces one count of larceny of government property and two counts of disturbance. Walters said she was overcharged for the soda and dumped it rather than pay.

It is good to see the government cracking down on these wanton lawbreakers in our midst. They cannot locate the terrorists or the illegal aliens, so it appears they have shifted resources to the drink counters of America.

First they started checking our email, then started listening to our phone calls, and now it has digressed to our electric meters  The Delaware Public Service Commission approved a Delmarva Power plan to install “smart meters” to reduce customers energy use.  The approval means the meters will be installed possibly as early as next fall, for more than 300,000 gas and electric customers.  The meters allow for two-way communication between the utility and its customers and of course, “track” energy use.

If this isn’t Big Brother, I don’t know what is.

Poo-Poo occurs, it seems the poo-poo has hit the whirly-dirly in Reno – The city cracked down on recreational vehicles that park overnight in casino parking lots, prompting some RVers to say they’ll boycott Reno. City officials said an ordinance on the books since 1996 outlaws RV camping anywhere except designated parks with water and sewage hookups. The concerns are health-related, a city official said.

What is happening here is Californian’s heading north to the gambling joints and losing their money are dumping their black water (raw sewage or human waste) in the parking lots of the casino’s before they head home. Nasty huh.

Good gosh!  Just give me the ticket.

Mount Juliet Tennessee – A city police officer who used a choking maneuver on a man he suspected of hiding marijuana in his mouth has been fired. The city manager of this Nashville suburb terminated Cpl. William Cosby, who was charged earlier with aggravated assault and perjury. Video from a police car showed Cosby choking James Lawrence Anders Jr. during an April traffic stop until Anders passed out.

Who needs cops when you have bears? Panguitch, Utah. One Utah community is cheering a special bear but don’t call him Smokey. Investigators say a large black bear raided a clandestine marijuana growing operation so often that it chased the grower away. “This bear is definitely law-enforcement minded,” said Garfield County Sheriff Danny Perkins. “If I can find this bear I’m going to deputize him.”

Deputies found food containers ripped apart and strewn everywhere, cans with bear teeth marks, claw marks and bear prints across the Garfield County camp on Tuesday. Perkins said the operation on Boulder Mountain included 4,000 “starter” sacks of pot and 888 young plants. “This particular bear apparently was not going to give up and basically chased these marijuana farmers away,” Perkins said. “Our county is so tough on drugs that even the wildlife are getting in on the action.”

Deadly truck crash leaves $182K in nickels on I-95. One trucker died and two others were injured in a pre-dawn crash that left $182,000 worth of nickels on Interstate 95 near Orlando, Florida. State troopers and federal agents “are securing the scene, while local members of the Treasury are en route,” according to Florida Today. “The Treasury employees will pick up all the nickels.”

By our calculations, the U.S. Mint will have to pick up 3.64 million coins.  A state police spokesman warns that anyone who might stop to collect nickels … even ONE nickel … would face federal charges since the nickels belong to the Treasury Department.  And of course, “anyone with a soft drink in their hand, will automatically be considered “suspicious” for sure.”

And finally … Delhi,Ill..

Here’s a tip: Bar tending nude can get you arrested. Sheriff’s deputies doing a routine check this week at a southern Illinois bar say they discovered a not-so-routine sight. Authorities allege that 33-year-old Janet Brannon was naked while serving bar patrons at the Cabin Tavern in Delhi. Brannon was arrested and charged with misdemeanor public indecency. She was freed on $8,000 bond.

I would like to personally pay this lady’s fine, all we have in Oklahoma is Hooter Girls and 3.2 beer.

It just has to be Monday ……..


Critic’s Corner …

Thought for the day: “Man needs more to be reminded than instructed.”

An Arizona radio station that “caters to Latino Immigrants” (what we are calling them this week) has announced that it is going to close down at the end of the month.  It appears to be the latest victim to a faltering economy and ongoing crackdown on illegals, and is now shutting down and going out of business.  The station in the Phoenix area broadcast each day in Spanish only.

Guess they figured there isn’t any sense preaching to an empty choir.

Dirty-Yellow-Dawg-Democrat. A jury in Nashville said it was difficult to reach a decision in the corruption trial of a former democratic state senator John Ford.  He was charged with wire-fraud and failing to report some $850,000 in payments from state contractors.  The jury ultimately decided that their right to extended honest service from him was apparently not forthcoming.

My little granddaughter will sing this crazy little song to taunt her brother … “Anything that you can do, we can do better.  Anything that you can do, we can do better” A feminist in our ranks, and she is only 5 years old.  She would fit right in down south in Atlanta.

Officials there have agreed to scrap road signs warning of “Men At Work” or “Men Working Ahead.” After some complaints that the signs were sexist … So now they are going to read …. “Workers Ahead.”

It just seems like the right thing to do, said an Atlanta official.  Now someone stick another Politically Correct Pin In The Map to signify a major hollow victory for another special interest moron.  I mean what is the big deal really?  I mow the lawn and do all the yardwork, week after _______ week, but I don’t go around demanding that someone bestow the title of “Lawn Care Specialist” on my dumb butt.

Pull up yo’ Snoop Dawg-Dog drawers!  Now here is some “progressive legislating.”

Flint Michigan is the latest city to crack down on the wearing of outlandishly over-sized jeans, in a memo to officers last week, the police chief said to his officers “that anyone who was wearing the baggy trousers so low that buttock skin is visible should be arrested and charged with indecent exposure.  And those exposing underwear only, could be charged with disorderly conduct.” I suppose some people call it a fad, but I believe you could find some that would agree that it is a national nuisance.

Good News and Bad News.

USA Today, The Nation’s Newspaper, is reporting that a Continental Airlines Flight made an emergency landing at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport after a loss of cabin pressure.  That is the good news.  Now here is the bad news, the flight had approximately 120 passengers of which, nine were Texas Lawmakers (legislators) on board, that is the bad news, they made it off okay too and continued on to Washington DC. on another plane.

A silicon based intelligence, (that is a fancy word for a computer y’all – Okie Talk) a computer system named “Polaris” beat several of the world’s top poker players recently in a match in Las Vegas, Nevada.  To prep for its confrontation with humans, the system first played 8 billion games with itself.  And you thought warming up before exercising was a bad idea?

Who writes this stuff?  The U.S. Department of Drug Enforcement (DEA) is reporting that the price of a gram of pure cocaine sold for about $118.70 in the spring of 2007, and the cost of the drug is now escalating because of recent improvements in border patrol, yada-yada-yadda -blah-blah.  Last I heard, “we gave Mexico some $141 Million to clean up THEIR DRUG PROBLEM, can’t get a better deal than that.”

$118.70 per gram?

  • “Hey man, you wanna buy some —-, it has only been stepped on once.”
  • “Uh how much is it?” … “$118.70 per gram”
  • “Okay, here is $120.00”
  • “Thanks, and here is your change sir, One dollar and thirty cents.”
  • (Yeah, like I am believing that one)

More good news … “The War On Drugs is Over ……. We lost.”


You Can’t Touch This …

“A man who represents himself in a court, has a fool for an attorney.” Some guy recently busted for urinating in public did this very thing. Representing himself at trial, Mr. Huppe fired a colorful line of questions at the officer including, “Did you see me take my thing out and urinate?” and “Did you test DNA to see if it was my urine?”

Here is the part I like … Mr. Huppe shouted at the officer during the June 24 trial, “Swear on a Bible and say it was Mr. Huppe’s urine!” The officer testified he did not test DNA from the urine puddle. Then the judge ordered Mr. Huppe to “take a deep breath” and promised the verdict would be forthcoming.

My kind of guy.

BOULDER – A 25-year-old Boulder, Colorado man is in jail after police discovered he had been living on the roof of a T-Mobile store since December. Police say Luke Barrett pleaded guilty to trespassing and obstructing an officer after his arrest Friday. Barrett told officers that he was homeless and started living on the top of the building in December.

According to the T-Mobile store, employees had a suspicion that someone was living on the roof. Cleaning employees and maintenance crews said on two occasions they found and removed cushions, garbage and a sleeping bag from the roof. Now think about this. You are living on the top of a building in Colorado in the dead of winter?

It’s a wonder the guy doesn’t have frostbite.

Priceless … 6 year old Bennett Christiansen of Illinois was approved for a credit card with a $600 limit. The boy had accurately filled in an application, listing his birth date as 2002 and his income of $0. We had “plastic surgery here about five years ago” and that was the best thing that ever happened to us. No more credit cards, which in our case was a good thing. You know how to tell if you are over your limit, when you are standing in the line and the girl swipes your card, all the lights in the building kind of dim for a moment.

You are over your limit.

An Australian bridegroom was horrified to learn after he had walked down the aisle that he was already married — after a drunken holiday romance he could barely remember. The husband has had to confess in the Family Court that he spent 28 days partying and drinking in Arizona in 1978 on leave from his job as a cook on the oil rigs.

He can remember the “nice” blond American woman he met through a pen pal newspaper advertisement — but little more. “He has no recollection of going through any form of ceremony of marriage with her, or of discussing marriage, or of anything referable to marriage,” said Justice Sally Brown, who annulled the marriage last month.

Not only that, but the man, who describes himself as an old-fashioned romantic, was already married at the time — to his wife of 14 years. Yesterday the 67-year-old, who cannot be identified, told The Daily Telegraph “the sky fell in” when he was shown the Arizona marriage license. He married his Hawaiian girlfriend in 2006 and applied to live in Hawaii with her that U.S. immigration authorities broke the bad news.

A drilling rig in Arizona, C’mon? This has to be Media Fatigue, made up crap.

B’sides everyone knows, if you get drunk for 28 days in a row, you have to file a special permit with the EPA so they can tell you where to bury your liver!

This has got to be bogus; we need to get back to the “real news” in America.

The upcoming presidential election which will determine who voters hate more: Successful, attractive African-Americans or good ol boy mossbacks that smell like Old Spice and pancakes. Who gave the government “the right” to tell us what kind of light bulbs to buy. Why Al Gore still consumes 50% more electricity than the average American after extensive renovations to his Tennessee home.

Important stuff like that.