Inside The Cage Looking Out

Nice to wake up to a good cup of piping hot coffee, little sunshine in the window, and the much anticipated storm did not materialize.  Life is good.  It has been a long week, I am hoping that this one on tap is better than the last.  Putting a video here for you first off, you can click on it and Grandma will play you the blues … As you read the latest news.

This morning I am reading a post by a lady who has been Fresh Pressed five times, that in itself, amazes me.  But wait, it gets better.  Just below that in the comments section someone is asking her “how is it I get Fresh Pressed?” which is something akin to asking “How many grains of sand are there on the beaches of the world?” One poster was actually lamenting how difficult it was to post three times per week, I found that quite amusing.  Here is the clear cut winner … One poster was going “to learn ONE NEW WORD a year.”  Wow, knock yourself out there sister!  It has to be true Maw, I read it on the Internet.

A great deal of interesting material in the news.  This one here, I really liked it.  A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving  revolvers.  The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”  When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.  This guy doesn’t even deserve a seat at Stoooopid Criminal School.

Anyone seen this new tattoo show on CMT where they have competitions with each other on certain designs (snake, devil, flower) and they go to the closest morgue and put their handiwork on a cadaver.  Now I ask you, “how sick is that?” Your poor Uncle Ed who has been living under an overpass for the past five years dies when his alcohol diseased sick liver finally gets tired and stops.  You go down to the morgue to pick him up and they hand him back to you looking like one of your Grandmother’s best hand-knitted quilts.

This is almost as disgusting as the game I play with myself when I fly to Asia.  Leaving Seattle, Washington, you usually swing over a huge portion of the world that is covered with ice and snow (might all be gone now, I dunno?).  I will look out the window of the aircraft and then back into the cabin and my mind will start to race … “Which one of these people am I going to eat first?” in order to survive. gas7 Gasoline continues to do a downward spiral, and yesterday my bride asked me if it would ever go under $2 again.  I gave her the standard “when pigs fly” answer but that was not enough.  So I calmly put it in technical terms for her. Honey, it’s true, oil prices have reached an all time low this year. But before consumers do something drastic, like purchase a hybrid—or as I call them, a mutant—consider the fixed costs that go into producing your typical $104 barrel of oil.

Right up front, $5 goes to new development of new oil resources. $10 goes to new technology research. $15 a barrel goes to making those commercials where oil companies try to convince you they’re not raping the environment and $25 goes toward blackening the oil.  BP is your friend, Exxon is the company of choice, this fuel only contains ____ % of cane products grown in Brazil. Then my wife said to me …  If I may, just very quickly, right there stop you, I was under the impression that oil comes out black.

That’s what Hollywood would have you believe, dear.

No, oil actually comes out of the ground looking like this (holding up a fruit jar with a honey looking substance inside). A pretty rainbow! And it burns clean. Cruding it up ain’t cheap.  She then says “so that adds, I guess, $55 a barrel to the oil, what about the rest of the cost?”  (We are on a roll now, she bought it)  Well Honey, it fluctuates, depending on how chaotic the political situation is in places like North and South Dakota.

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That’s why the Middle East loves our stagnant economy and all those empty roads that are now devoid of traffic, tourists, and commercial business. Without these modifiers, we often see our oil prices plummet. Gas will never go below the $2 benchmark set for it recently by my wife, I am sure of that.  Unless of course, we all buy a gas sucking SUV from Government Motors and Middle Eastern revenue streams dry up and the terrorist are having to work second jobs at Bennigans … or … the Middle Eastern equivalent … Jhad-Applebee’s.

Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I have to run now, our three year old decided to tune my guitar for me over the weekend, and I have to work on that. One last thing:  As the middle of the month rapidly approaches remember a couple of important dates.  #1  Martin Luther King Day is on the 21st.  Also, January is Stalker Awareness Month. So, leave a gift by your bedroom window for your special someone.

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Obama – Change Is A Coming

Obama Wins It!

Congratulations are in order for a long, hard, protracted nasty fight.  How do you spell relief?  O-B-A-M-A- WINS.  Good Morning America!  Here is another “Brain Freeze” from the middle of the country.  I found this amusing, came across this yesterday.

Willie King made a bad mistake.  He decided to snatch a wallet from the coat of an elderly woman in Greenwich Village, New York City.  The woman turned out to be a 94-year old Yolanda Gigante, mother of Vincent “The Chin” Gigante, reputed head of the Genovese crime family.

King was caught a short time later and as soon as he learned who he’d mugged he agreed to plead guilty to grand larceny.  His sentence was determined to be one to three up river in prison.  At his sentencing hearing his lawyer commented, “My client your honor admitted his guilt at the earliest opportunity, because he wants to put this incident behind him, and he hopes the Gigante family will, too.”

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Have you been reading all this hoopla on people with tattoo’s?  Municipalities and city governments, even some universities are now demanding that people cover up their tattoo’s when at work.  But there is a way around that, you can now get FAKE TATTOO SLEEVES if nothing more than to rankle your boss.

Now you can get “inked” by night and still keep your day job with our “tattoo sleeves”. The tattoo is printed directly on the stretchable fabric sleeves fabric which is a machine washable nylon. They come in pairs; wear one or both.  Wonder if they have the naked babe like on the Semi-truck mud-flaps?  Please have your credit card and expiration date handy … Every offensive thing you can think of, all at your fingertips, is this a great country or what?

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Cedar Rapids Iowa – A jury awarded more than $55,000 total to two former teachers who said they were illegally strip searched after they protested against President Bush in 2004. It was the second trial for Alice McCabe and Christine Nelson, who were initially awarded a total of $750,000. A judge lowered it to $75,000 and told the women they could accept it or have a second trial.  They agreed on the later, and I hope every dime of it comes out of Bush or Cheney’s paycheck.

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Not long after the wind turbines began to spin in March near Gerry Meyer’s home, his son Robert, 13, and wife, Cheryl, complained of headaches.  They have trouble sleeping, and Cheryl Meyer, 55, sometimes feels a fluttering in her chest. Gerry is sometimes nauseated and hears crackling.

The culprit, they say, is the whooshing sound from the five industrial wind turbines near the 6-acre spread where they have lived for 37 years. “I don’t think anyone should have to put up with this,” says Gerry Meyer, who compares the sound to a helicopter or a jet taking off.

As more turbines are built, the noise they create is stirring debate. Industry groups such as the American Wind Energy Association say there’s no proof they make people sick, but complaints of nausea, insomnia and other problems have surfaced near wind farms across the USA.  If my memory serves me correctly, I remember the same problems with people who lived too close to high intensity power transmission towers in the sixties and seventies.

So now we have a new ailment Wind Turbine Syndrome (WTS) an industrial plague with a new scientific name.   It is man-made and easily fixed.  Proper Propeller setbacks are the best cure.  There are at last count, almost 15,000 wind turbines in the USA, and most people live near them without incident.

Isn’t it amazing how we can come up with a scientific reason almost immediately for just about anything?  I always like it when we can readily come up with some kind of logical explanation for that which is not easily explained.  WTS, PMS, ADDD, we are so quick to find the appropriate politically correct abbreviation.

Like PMS … I asked my doctor, how come we call it PMS?

And he said “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.

(Yeah I know, don’t write me any letters)

Wash your hands, folks, especially you ladies.  A new study found that women have a greater variety of bacteria on their hands than men do.  That is the good news, now here is the bad.  Everybody has more types of bacteria than the researchers expected to find.  So the Politicians aren’t the only folks in town with dirty hands these days, contrary to popular opinion.

“The sheer number of bacteria species detected on the hands of the study participants was a big surprise, and so was the greater diversity of bacteria we found on the hands of women,”   The researchers aren’t sure why women harbored a greater variety of bacteria than men, but have suggested it may have to so with the acidity of the skin. Men it was noted, generally have more acidic skin than women.

So, all you big, burly NFL-types, remember this the next time you decide to make a lunch outta your fingernails.  Bottom of the page rolling up, need to wrap this up and get on to other things.

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Yesterday at the café, the waitress looked at me and asked, “Have you voted yet?” and I replied, “No, later on this afternoon, you?” She smiled a big smile and said, “Yes!” So out of idle curiosity, I asked her, “Who did you vote for?”

Her smile quickly disappeared and she got very reserved, unwilling to tell me her choice, so sensing her apprehension I said, “It’s okay, who did you vote for?” She smiled and said, “McCain.”

Then I said, “Good for you girl, everyone should vote and I am glad that you did.”

Perhaps this special moment in time will be the vehicle that will change America I don’t know.  But a person should never have to be apprehensive or fearful of telling another person in this country who it was they voted for.  I cannot remember an election in my lifetime that has been so tense, so mean spirited, so disruptive for the country as a whole.  It is my profound hope that somehow, someway, something good comes out of this for our country.

As I have in the past made it perfectly clear, “I don’t give a damn about politics or politicians” but I do love America.  And I will fully support anyone or any thing, that will preserve the American way of life, for not only me, but my grandchildren, my friends and neighbors.  This particular mindset has a name, it is called patriotism, a phrase that has become old hat, passé’, relegated to the back burner of the stove here lately.

Our friends overseas in Europe should be happy, perhaps now their collective newspapers and media outlets will give them some news of what is happening in their respective countries, instead of shoving American politics down their throat each and every day.  So as you can see, some good has come out of this already, there is no telling where it will lead us to in the future.

Like Yogi Berra, retired Coach of the New York Yankee’s,  was quoted as saying, “When you come to the fork in the road, you can go both ways*.”

Congratulations Mr. Obama on your victory, now roll up your sleeves, WE have a lot of work to do.

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RELATED: Baracks House (audio)

*  Yogi lived on a Cul-de-Sac and the fork in the road led to his house, by going either left or right.

All The Luck

Man, some people have all the luck there is.  A couple in Wisconsin over the weekend won $700,000 by playing the lottery, which is a feat in itself.  We all know that the odd’s of winning the lottery are bad, well, “how many grains of sand on the beaches of the world?”  That kind of thing.  What makes this so special or extraordinary is that they both bought tickets, at separate stores, and they both won $350,000 a piece.  Which is a nice tidy sum of about $480,000 after taxes.

Verlyn Adamson bought his winning ticket at the Pit Stop in Mineral Point while his wife Judith bought a winner at the Stop-N-Go on U.S. 18-151 in Barneveld.  Two winning tickets have not yet been presented, lottery officials said. One was sold at the Cenex Mini Mart in Mount Horeb, the other at the Darlington Mini Mart in Darlington. That means three out of the four winning tickets were sold in Iowa County, and this couple had two of them.  Amazing isn’t it?

Automatic Posts: I have been tinkering with this “automatic related post feature” and unfortunately it has been producing some mixed results.  Often it doesn’t even work at all, but that is nothing new for WordPress.com, I have contacted support about it, but so far, not much.  Anyway, if you were privy to the recent “sex blog from Israel” that was on here, I apologize.  This is not what I had intended and is in no way a reflection on my reading habits.  If you have been polarized by some of it (Don’t Look Ethel!), it is now gone, and I will continue to remove items I consider offensive.  Sorry.  (Most of it was written in Hebrew believe it or not, so the majority of you should be covered on that one alone.)

Stimulating News: Some 2.5 million people nationwide still have not received or spent their economic stimulus check and there are over 150,000 people in Massachusetts alone that have not claimed theirs, those are the Kennedy Clan relatives alone.  Meanwhile the IRS is working overtime to locate these lost people in order to compensate them.  The IRS routinely sends out about 8,000,000,000 pieces of mail a year (nice chunk of change, you would turn into a regular sticky-tongue-odd-ball after licking all those envelopes eh!) and it weighs in at about 80,000,000 lbs.

Chicago advertised for refunders.  Ran ad’s in the paper for people to come in and collect an “additional check” and they came in droves.  Only catch was “they all had outstanding warrants” and the cops arrested them when they showed up to collect their bounty.  One cop commented, “It is so much easier when they just walk in instead of having to go out and hunt them down.”  Well, duh?

Criminals continue to amaze me on how stupid they really are.

No Tattoo’s in Utah. Bountiful Utah has instructed all of its existing city employees that they will have to make sure they cover all of their tattoos.  Officials said they banned tattoos in easily visible places in an effort to improve the city’s image.  They are mirroring the Los Angeles Police department who bans tattoos on the face, neck, head and hands.  Bountiful goes a little further, no jewelry either, you must remove your earrings before coming to work traffic stops in Bountiful (I guess nose, lip, and eyebrows too?).

Powering Up. Pacific Gas and Electric of California says it will purchase 800 megawatts of “solar energy” enough to light 293,000 homes in the largest ever solar power purchase agreement.  This is a step forward and now all we have to worry about is the sun shining long enough to pull it off.  Read

Wyoming has warned its residents that natural gas will cost 32% more this year over last year, and of course, the next question should be “why?”  Wyoming is the second largest producer of this commodity in the nation. Just a week or two they were touting natural gas as the greatest thing since home-made soap and wanting everyone to switch over to gas.

Big Oil isn’t done yet, there are plenty of places they want to look, but the “money isn’t right” when they get it where they want it, they will punch holes everywhere.  And I do mean everywhere.  A good post on it here.  For full enlightenment make sure you click on the map.

Recyclables. Los Angeles is now offering a blue bin for plastic waste, a green bin for yard clippings and black bins for everything else.  Pretty cool.  Last week I noted that of the twenty-four houses on my block, only a paltry three, actually put out the recyclable bins, the rest of the block did not participate.  Pretty sad.  Now if we could just find a suitable bin for politicians what color would that be, and of course, how long would they argue about it, before it was instituted?

No hand holding in Alabama. A complaint was filed against a judge alleging he violated judicial ethics rules earlier this year by asking folks in the courtroom to “hold hands while praying.”  The ACLU our resident commie-pinko-protectors made the complaint against the judge who is the same judge who had the ten commandments posted in his courtroom and they filed on that.

The absolute best thing that could happen to America is the removal and complete shut down of the ACLU.  They are all about removing freedom and not protecting it.

Old dawg learned a new trick.  If you put the word “sex” in the title of your post, you attract every bottom-feeder in the world.  Next time instead of writing “Telephoto Sex In Houston” that will be “Beating The Bushes in Houston.” … Learned something new this week.  Matter of fact, going in there shortly and removing that completely and replacing it with the above.

Midweek and it has so far, been somewhat interesting, lot of stuff going on.

Monday a young lady in a mall was asked to leave the mall “because her dress was too short.”  A dress incidentally that she had purchased the day before in that very same mall.  Security said that “other woman’s husbands were staring at her and she was creating a disturbance.”

So now, on top of everything else, we now have “fashion police” on the prowl in the nations’ malls.  Where were they when my wife and I were exposed to all these “droppy-drawer-underwear wearing butt-crack-showing-teenagers” surrounding us on all sides?

I say leave the girls alone …

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