Kiss Me I Think I Am Gay … I Apologize

Here we go again, another week of why I hate the world, eleven hundred twenty-three words on why can’t I have it MY way even tho’ there is a Burger King right down the street.  Another installment in the Creative Endeavors Get It Right America Series, soon to be a ABC Mini-Reality Adventure this November, check your local listings. 


What is the deal? 

Everyone in this country, seemingly overnight, is now a “Special Interest”group?

Whatever happened to the things we were taught at an early age … Do onto others … Live and Let Live … Walk a Mile in my shoes?  When did we become a nation of labelers, enablers, whiners, complainers … A nation of what is in this for me and screw everyone else?

What is all this crap about the Gay Agenda, I am personally getting a little sick of it.

If homosexuals/Lesbians/Gay … Whatever they are calling themselves this week, want to get married.  

So what?

(Here is a New Mexico Barber’s opinion on it.)

Like the bible says, “Go forth, multiply and produce good fruit.”  Well, they might move forward, but they sure aint gonna multiply or produce any fruit.  If they were allowed to marry and all that, well, it seems to me that within 50 years, there would not be a lot of them around (do the math – Think about it).

All these Special People want the same rights as everyone else?  Well hell, welcome to the club, I suppose I have another block of un-used time, maybe five minutes I can give you … What makes you feel so unloved and neglected?

Newsflash!  I want the same health care as everyone in Congress , I want the same tax breaks that are afforded to the rich, I want the same treatment and fairness in the court system that the crooks seem to get and I am denied.  Drop the Lone Ranger Syndrome, you are not the only game in town.  And believe it or not, I am not alone in my thinking.

Here is another take on it. 

There seems to be no end to it, television, news media, it is slowly slinking into every nook and cranny of our lives.  Now I read we have a judge who is refusing to marry “Straight Couples?”

I mean, I hate to sound redundant here but give me a break.  It is time to UN-elect another stupid “I will rule my opinion and NOT the law” judge in Texas.  We have lawmakers who are refusing to sign bills for the Girl Scouts of America because he says they “promote homosexuality?”

Open your eyes, look around.  Consider what you have learned in just a few short paragraphs in this limited space in time:

Your straight friends are not going to be able to marry, thus no new children will be legally introduced into the system and now you will have no one to fund your retirement dreams.  Which is really kind of moot issue anyway, as your electorate is busy at work right now, doing their best to water it down or just flat out abolish it as we speak.

You are not going to be able to get your hair cut any longer by gay barbers, soon you will resemble Howard Hughes in his last days on the flight back from Panama (and remember, gay people, they do finger nails too).  Being as I am follically (sp) impaired, this isn’t a big deal for me, I don’t know what the rest of you are going to do?

On top of this, we have G.I.’s reportedly burning the Quran instead of barbecuing the Taliban.  Our blessed president, prophet, overseer, or not so quite revered King, Mr. Obama, is now apologizing for offending their culture? 

Again …. So What?  Who apologizes to us when they burn our flag, when they tie our wounded soldiers body to the back of a Toyota and drag his body up and down their garbage littered streets?


Man, you are right Mr. President, this is serious, you think the price of gasoline is bad and it is a problem.  Adam & Steve cannot get married.  You will no longer be able to get a box of Pecan Sandies and a smile?  What will happen when all the Seven Eleven clerks hear of this travesty of their culture and decide to go home.  Where will I get my $6 pack of Marlboro’s — Big Gulp — or my twinkies?

Wake up America.

Stop apologizing and posturing on agenda’s that are not all that important. 

It is time to come together on a lot of this and recognize and label our main enemy.

Which seems to be everyone but us.

It is time to get ugly when you vote, send a lot of these bozo’s home, gay or straight, makes no difference, in the end, the results will always be the same.  I never thought I would live long enough to actually feel ashamed I was an American, but each day it becomes a little bit more of a reality.  More so now, than just an occasional thought.  Here is the bottom line:  United we stand … Divided we fall.  Stop apologizing to everyone else and lying to us.

Now this morning I am watching Wake Up America on CBS and all the political wanna-be-door-stops that can talk are on there telling me what it is that I need to do, in order to make all of this work.  All I have to do is turn to religion, I will soon be able to come to terms with the whole thing.

It so simple a back-alley sandal maker in Dearborn Mich. could see it.  If I convert to Islam, and my wife hacks me off, we can take care of it poste haste.  (Don’t worry Newt, we’re stoning her in the morning!)   On top of all this … The Red Cross just called me on my cellphone and asked if I could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan.  I said I’d love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.

There you go, something else all you Washington political gasbags can apologize for.

Now I am headed out to find me a non-gay-I don’t want to marry my buddy-barbershop to get my eyebrows trimmed.  I sure hope and pray I don’t get stopped and have to appear in court somewhere … I will be a goner for sure.

Mr. Obama,

you have had your fifteen minutes of fame,

now it is time for you to shut up.

(Comments section as usual is open, have at it)


“Never forget the hand that helps you up … Or the boot that shows you to the door.”


I Do Not Apologize

Get It Right America — Something Is Not Right