Tonight’s news concerns the Economy … Click … Tonight we start off with the economy …. Click … Our big story tonight out of Washington DC is the economy … Click … Tonight’s report comes on the heels of the Department of Redundancy Department announcement out of Washington today … click, click, click …. I suppose it will be all right until the lights go out Obama.
Dig a little deeper in the well, dig a little deeper in the well. If you want to stay ahead of the game, just up the ante. The U.S. Postal Service this week announced a 2 cent increased in the price of a first class postage stamp. This will boost postage to 44 cents per letter.
This time their excuse was, you are going to love this, it was: “due to the rising costs which are affecting homes and businesses.” Try and figure that one out boys and girls. Forever Stamps will not be affected and you can continue to buy them for 42 cents each until May 11th. I noticed they had a new commemorative stamp over there, “celebrating the 75th anniversary of the pap smear” but I am not licking anything like that!
Give me the Disney book please.
(yeah I know, don’t send me any letters)
Wind is howling across the plains this morning. I get grumpy and out of sorts during the windy months and I try my best to stay inside, thus sparing the community at large, my misplaced anger and often misguided and directed wrath brought upon me by the forces of nature. I am chuckling this morning, not a whole lot out there that is amusing anymore, but every now and then, you find a nugget.
Some guy in Britain, a doctorial student, was heartbroken when janitors at Leeds University threw away a 77 pound bag of lizard dung he’d collected over a period of seven years. “to some people it might have been just a bag of lizard poop, but its loss altered the course of my life forever.”
That was his statement, and now here is mine, get a life.
Norton Securities is hounding me about a “subscription renewal” and declaring that I am at the mercy of the Gods and unprotected. Like a dummy I thought I bought a “program to protect my computer” I now discover that I bought a subscription. Well you know what they can do with their $50 SUBSCRIPTION don’t ya? Norton is a dog of a program, don’t buy Norton.
Yesterday at the beanery some poor misguided lost Republican girl tried to convince me that “I was the problem” with the housing mess. I guess that is the official line, “we all have a responsibility in this” idea that is floating around.
Which is fine, if you buy into that particular brand of non-sense.
The problems remain the same as they always have, I don’t care what anyone has to say about “so-called change.” I think it was Charlie Reese in the Orland Sentinel who said: “Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them. Have you ever wondered if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, why do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, why do we have inflation and high taxes? You and I don’t propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don’t have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don’t write the tax code, Congress does. You and I don’t set fiscal policy, Congress does. You and I don’t control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.”
Not some poor Okie, who is just sitting here in the middle of Dust Bowl America trying to drink his lousy cup of coffee and munch on a do-nut in peace.
Let’s run this one up the old flagpole and see if anyone will salute it? (Always remember this: The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein: It usually rejects it.) Nationalize these banks and get it over with, move on. Let the stockholders take their collective loss, they are the one’s that bought into all of it to begin with, thus, causing even more severe losses than should have been. Why should we have to support them in their misguided endeavors.
Let the loser’s go the way of other things and prop up the one’s that have survivability and move on.
The second U.S. Peanut plant closed this week. The Peanut Corporation of America closed its Plainview Texas plant where they blanch and roast peanuts daily. The reason for the closing was that lab tests indicated salmonella was present in its products. I sure am missing my peanut butter crackers and cookies. We seem to be ingesting a lot of poison in our food here lately.
A south Korean woman has just failed the written portion of her driving test for the 77-1st time in four years. The 68 year old woman has been taking the test on nearly a daily basis since April 2005. She has scored as high as 50% but needs a min. of 60% in order to pass. You would think that she has the test “memorized” by this time.
Now I suppose you are all wondering how I knew the girl in the restaurant was a “Republican” well she just had that Tina Fey/Sarah Palin look to her, that is all. You know, “I am on the move, on the way up, you are beneath me” kind of stare. Sort of like that look my wife gives me when I try eating my pancakes without the benefit of silverware or something like that?
Just a note. Palin has been informed by the IRS that she owes $5,000 on living expenses and money she was paid while living outside her home on the campaign trail. That is the bad news. Now here is the good news, “now that she has tax problems, this automatically qualifies her for a cabinet seat in the Obama Administration.”
Anywho, back to the Republican girl, she had that hungry look to her. Most likely just coming off her third marriage and headed down the aisle for #4. She had the look of a woman, married three times, who walked into a bridal shop one day and tells the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color are you looking for?”
The bride to be said: “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?”
“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”
“What about your third husband?” asked the sales clerk.
“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.”
“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)