High School Rag … Nitty Gritty

Did we really do that?  Incredible, I can clearly relate to that “One Guy” in the video.  Yes, boys and girls, the truth it seems, is indeed, stranger than fiction.  In my case, “it is downright incriminating” when presented in a court of law.

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All Pumped Up

I’m sorry but the smell of popoperie (sp) makes me nauseous.

Again we shop up for the Olympic games and before it is even started, we are embarrassed.  USA team to be decked out in Chinese made attire.  Kind of sad, we cannot find an American company that can clothe our team, we have to buy all of our stuff from foreigners.

It was right here hon, that is where I left it:  A Texas man has recovered his stolen car after only 42 years.  I wonder what it would have been like if you had gotten a parking ticket on that day, and it was still in the glove box?  Now that would have been something, huh?

Are you kidding me.  A woman was terminated for giving someone “the look.”  Van Ness says she was fired by Plus One Health Management, the parent company that operates Facebook Fitness Center, just two weeks after the incident.  In her termination letter, she says she was accused of “making a spectacle” of the texting student by stopping class to glare at her.

Human Illusions:  Here is some interesting photography for you to browse:  The one I found the most interesting was “Life Of The Party.”  Pretty cool stuff, check it out.

Something to think about.  I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well for my age. (having just turned Sixty-four).  A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’

He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?’

‘Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I’m not doing drugs, either.’

Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’

‘I said, ‘Not much … My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy.

‘

’Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’

‘No, I don’t,’ I said.  He asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?’

‘No,’ I said.

He looked at me and said,.. ‘Then, why do you even care?’

Fill ‘er up!  The U.S. Navy angered Republicans by spending $26 a gallon for biofuels for this week’s Great Green Fleet demonstration, but the Air Force received little attention when it paid twice as much per gallon to test synthetic jet fuel last month.

The Air Force bought 11,000 gallons of alcohol-to-jet fuel from Gevo Inc, a Colorado biofuels company, at $59 a gallon in a program aimed at proving that new alternative fuels can be used reliably in military aircraft – once, that is, their pricing is competitive with petroleum, which now costs $3.60 a gallon.  The cost of the Air Force demonstration – $639,000 – was far less eye-catching than the $12 million the Navy spent for biofuels to power a carrier strike group on alternative energy for a day.

I swear, it is almost as if the inmates are running the asylum anymore. 

What the hell do we need a carrier strike group for anyway. 

Someone attacking Cleveland?

Wait it gets even better:  Now that we have that out of the way, I will give you this little tid bit about some poor guy who got pumped up in Nashville recently.  Some poor slob went to fill up his automobile, bought $30 worth of gas and his bank charged his account $84,000.

NINJA Warrior attacks landscaper … I will show you Grasshopper!  Oregon State Police arrested 28-year-old Theodore G. Sanarov of Salem on Saturday after he was spotted swinging a three-foot samurai sword and swearing at a state parks employees near the State Capitol building.

When arrested by police, Sanarov was reportedly yelling obscenities at a landscaper near the State Library and Public Service Building at 8:23 a.m. on Saturday.

I guess he did not know about the new federal mandate, that clearly limits the capitols of each state to “only one idiot at a time.

Political buzz word file.  The word “momentum” has now officially been assigned to the trash pile and in its place will be the word “carefully.”  This is in order to keep the masses interested in this three-ring circus that currently consumes the media these days.

I got this from my off shore banker friend, who had called me to tell me that the Swiss bank account money had been deposited over the weekend.  Here I will use it in a sentence for you:  “Both candidates have picked up campaigning momentum and are now carefully raising funds for re-election.”

Romney has so far raised 103 Million … Obama 74 Million … all this for two guys claiming they are not for sale.

Now I am off to our family reunion, one of the annual rites of passage in the summertime.  We all meet at the family center in the middle of a small town (used to be the Phillips 66 station) to greet and meet, take pictures, eat fried chicken.  And of course, there is always the very old geezer that comes up to you, smiles and then says …. Hey Kid?  Pull my finger.

OOO

Also Related:  The Greek Girl Made In China

Hangin With Hubba

Have to be honest about all this, here lately, a great many things “escape me” at the moment. Another year older and Father Time has called my name. Like a thief in the night, he marched right in here and stole but another year. This one, much like a freight train with no brakes at all, is rollin’ right on down the hill, out of control.

Attended a gathering of old school chums over the weekend. We are all graying out, getting much older. This was our 43rd meeting, time has a way of slippin’ by doesn’t it. 43 years would be considered the span of a man’s lifetime in the bible or some third world countries today.

On the fifth reunion I snuck out into the parking lot and a buddy and I shared a doobie and laughed long and hard. On the Tenth it was again a doobie (actually this time it took two) and some Crown Royal to wash it down. On the tenth, as I remember it, Cancer had show up and taken a few away and the mood was something akin to somber. Now when we arrived at twenty it was a line or two of crank in the boys bathroom … and this year … Well, this year was a good comfortable lawn chair and a Diet Coke.

You have to grow up eventually; time takes a toll on a body.

Thankfully, we are not the rowdy bunch that we used to be. Age has taught us that if you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There’s always time to be humble later on when you have been proved horrendously and irrevocably wrong.. Age has a way of teaching even those who are not paying attention, a valuable lesson from time to time.

Graciously time has taught us all a new trick or two on the path to our Golden Years. Even a Baby Boomer will reach a juncture where he has or is forced to grow up. Our generation being no different than those who came before us, everyone gets a turn it seems.

Like Sonny & Cher were fond of saying, “The Beat Goes On” … The beat goes on, the beat goes on, drums keep pounding rhythm to the brain, ladda dada dee, ladda dada dah. History has turned a page, a-hah.

I guess it is all relevant, I am just as young as ever, but lately it takes a lot more effort. Like Dolly Parton is fond of saying, “It takes a lot of money to look this bad sugar.” Which might be appropriate for me at this juncture in time. I am still just as gorgeous as I ever was, it just takes me a little bit more effort and money to get me there.  If I were born a woman, I would have need of a “Sugar Daddy” for sure.

Wow, forty-three years that just seems impossible, for lack of a better word. I have reached a point in time, where I am no longer warned to slow down by the Police, but rather, by my doctor instead. Some people grow up and spread cheer, I just sorta grew up, and then spread! Much like the biblical passage … “All things must pass” … I used to eat like a horse, now I look like one.

Life is so unfair at times.

With age, I find that things eventually change. I am now starting for the house after a night on the town about the time I started to go elsewhere when I was young. Sign of the times I guess. Now is the time we learn to watch our step. We are doing that. Except we are not stepping out that much anymore.

The best thing about getting older is the fact that all those things you couldn’t have when you were young, you no longer want. You reach a point where you don’t worry about where the wife goes, as long as you don’t have to go with her. The shapely female figure no longer turns your head, and the Easy Boy Recliner calls your name.

No longer having to worry about avoiding temptation, it avoids me, at least most of the time it does. Lately I have more on my mind, than I have on my head. As my wife and I are virtually the same age, she no longer fibs about hers, she lies about mine instead.  There were two judges in attendance, and I learned a thing or two from them.  For instance:  There are times not to flirt.  When you’re sick.  When you’re with children.  When you are on the witness stand. Remember that, could be important some day.

Funny how things work out.

I have to be honest. Most of the time, I do not understand my brain. Some days I do not understand my heart. I fool myself into believing that I am just starting out on but one more Grand Adventure — Middle Age. I will announce to all or those who actually care, that I am now “Middle Aged.” Knowing full well that I do not know one solitary single soul over the age of one hundred twenty-two years alive on this planet.

Everyone knows that in America, youth is good and old is bad, right?

Women never tell their true age, why should it be any different for a man. But with all this gray in my hair (as I neglected to start coloring it at age forty, like the modern magazines said most American men do) trying to fool everyone would be a waste of time. The tell-tale signs of longevity are there, plainly displayed, for all to see. I noticed at this reunion that the word “well preserved” seem to take on a totally new meaning for me.

B’sides, messing with my hair is simply just too much work, for a low maintenance guy like me. This is something at my age, I just naturally try to avoid.

So we all sat around, we more than likely ate too much, the pictures of the new grandbabies were broke out, and we all described in detail our aches, our pains, we compared our prescriptions. Whether or not some Okie in a pickup with a gun rack, running up and down the Interstate with his tail-gate down can actually save fuel, important issues.

Middle America has arrived.

Whiling away the day in the heat of an Oklahoma afternoon, we told the old familiar stories on each other and we seemed to agree on one important thing: “A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life. Life never throws you a straight ball to hit, it always throws you a curve.”

See all of you next year.

000