Gawd Help Me … I Am Feeling Normal Again.

No One Gives AEvery day I will come onto Social Media and find some 40-60 posts on what is wrong with this country.  Most of them concern politic’s, politicians, so-called low-life’s, scumbags, illegals, people from Persia or the Middle East, religious nut cases.

But this morning, I am throwing in a little wake up call of my own.

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Mandatory Options


The middle of last week I got into it with some folks on another site, but that has settled down or rather, just dried up and gone away, and I am glad that is over.  I am however disappointed as hell, because I got thoroughly tromped in the deal and I did not get a fair shake, but that is life.

That is the way it goes … First your money …. And then your clothes.

Contrary to popular opinion I find myself a “quick study” in life matters and I learned the art of effective listening early on in my working career.  Here lately it appears a lot of folks do not have time to “hear you out.”

Which often presents problems.

Some of us need to be content to listen to the “entire thought” of someone rather than waiting impatiently for a chance to respond.  One of the things I absolutely hate about the internet medium is all of these bottom-feeders sitting out there, almost on the edge of their chair, ready to lurch and attack.

Seldom do you find those willing to “hear it all out to the end” and then make the abusive, caustic comment or remark.  The other thing I find curious is the fact that 44 people will show up to read it, but none will stand up to defend you when you are attacked for it, that is kind of a mystery to me.

Oh well, no more acidic poorly spelled and framed letters from “The Pelican State” and that is fine, don’t want to hack off another alligator farmer in the deep moss draped south.  Which reminds me?

A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.  The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

The operator, trying to calm him says, “Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he’s dead.” There’s a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!

The redneck comes back on the line and says, “OK, now what?”

So, what shall we talk about this morning?  Come with me, build a temple, and not a tavern, out of the lumber of our lives!  Yeahsus!  Did some quick figuring over the weekend on this money-mess and it is astronomical.  Also came across this neat site that has some interesting stuff on it, check it out.  Millions-Billion-Trillions, now we are talking some REAL MONEY.

I read that and looked at the graphics (when you look at the figure of the little man in the lower left-hand corner it just makes you sick) and I just have to tell you, the only thing I could think of was:

“God gives us pain and heartache in life.  The devil gives us whiskey.”

Another thing I have been following this credit card issue quite intently, and if I ever start up a business, it is going to be a credit card business.  Man these jerks, they get what they want, when they want, if they want it, and there isn’t a whole lot you can do about it.

It appears that owning a credit card or at least having an open account is at best a precarious type of endeavor these days.  Kind of like owning this big dog, you reach down to pet it today, and it licks your hand, reach down to pet it in the future, and you get bitten.

As times get tighter more and more consumers are trying to put more on the card.  Which is okay, if you are paying on time and all that, but card issuers all of a sudden do not like that.    It hasn’t been all that long ago when these banker pecker-heads were begging me to open up an account.

I remember when my mailbox was stuffed full of offers from these people for new cards, now all of a sudden “they don’t really want my business anymore.”  Which is fine with me, I took their self-addressed paid for postage envelope, emptied all the ash trays in the house into it, and mailed it back to them, time and time again, until they finally got the message.

Now these same people say that an open account is an invitation to fraud and credit risked if it isn’t being used and they are arbitrarily closing them, left and right.  At the same time, there goes your credit score.  You see, your credit card is based in part on the ratio of outstanding debt to credit.  If a line of credit is cut off, your ratio of debt to credit suddenly becomes higher.

What to do?

The only way a cardholder can stop their account from getting shut down is to start spending again … In small amounts.  It is as I said before …. “These jerks, they get what they want, when they want, if they want it, and there isn’t a whole lot you can do about it.”

Just some things in life that do not make sense … Mandatory Options …. Military Intelligence … Mutual Differences … Nondairy Creamer … And “friends” in the banking industry.


Welcome To The Heartland


Having just finished watching the local news, I am throughly convinced that there is a good reason why “second cousins in Oklahoma are not allowed to marry each other.”  I find the news appalling and that is about the only good thing I can say about it.


Duct tape won’t fix that.  We don’t keep firearms in this house.  Can you tell me where the library is?

Somebody painted Darleen’s  name on the water tower again
Our family is full of Democrats

You can’t feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pick-up – it’s not safe.

Wrasslin’s fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We’re vegetarians.  I am saving my money for the gun show at the fairgrounds.

Curlers is okay Maxine, this aint no social event
I’ll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Who’s Richard Petty?

Me and Daddy are both in the 6th grade next year. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.  Give him some bubble wrap I aint got no money for real toys.

You want to “Super Size” them french fries for the wife.
Deer heads detract from the decor.  I want a “real woman” like that Dolly Parton look-a-like down at the tire store.

Stick your hand in the hole, wiggle your fingers, noodlin is fun
Spitting is such a nasty habit.  He’s a pretty smart kid, jus don’t have no edumaycayshun.

It’s an Armadillo, they taste just like chicken.  Don’t toss that out the window, I will find a trashcan for it.  No!  B’cause she is your second cousin that’s why.

God takes care of us Baptists, every motel we checked into had a bible in the drawer.  It’s a proven scientific fact that a pick-em-up gets better fuel mileage when you run with the tailgate down, everyone knows that.

I want one that is Mo Betta than thet.

It’s a big city, kind of like a Super Center.
Trim the fat off that steak.
The tires on that truck are too big.

Turn that Boom Box down I caint here ya.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams, I am sticking with the Twinkies.

Checkmate, Crown me, I win..
She’s too old to be wearing a bikini.

Does the salad bar have them bean sprouts?
Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.
I don’t have a favorite college team.

Food tastes better when you are wearin’ a ballcap

Them pedal pushers don’t make your butt look big
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

Elvis who?

You shore you gave me the right change?

Friday the 13th, best be careful if you are the superstitious type, at least that is the way I understand it.  Today could be my unlucky day, I am not sure, but I am going to play it by ear and kind of stay close to the house.  Something terrible might happen today, perhaps like Al Roker walking into a Krispy Kreme donut shop and going nuts, gorging himself on six cartons of lemon custards.  Then all the staples in his stomach pop at the same time, killing six on duty police officers!

Perhaps I should not even be in here writing today, I am not in a good mood, kind of down in the dumper for some reason, and I am ignoring a hard fast rule, “never write anything when you do not feel like writing.”  So this could very well go either way today, luck of the draw.

How about a quick quiz?  Why not, you are at work, and you are not working, you are reading this, so you have a little time to take a quick test, b’sides, it beats working.

Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female? Here are some examples:

  • FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
  • PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
  • TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
  • HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
  • SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
  • WEB PAGES: Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
  • TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
  • EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
  • HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
  • THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Hah! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Why is it we all live in a “right handed world?”  think about it, all my shirt pockets have the place in the pocket for the writing pen in the left hand pocket.  Why?  Because you reach over for your pen to write with and use your right hand to do so.

Gotta go now, time for Bodywatch, this is a new series beginning with a special this morning and a new regular time later on tonight.  Tonight’s program focuses on stress, exercise, nutrition, and sex, with that basketball guy, Dennis somebody who has all the body piercing and likes to dress in women’s clothes, Dr. Ruth that little short woman who knows where it is all at and where it is that you are supposed to put it, in order for it to reach maximum potential and of course Larry King will be along to discuss it all later on, as soon as he is thru interviewing the now deposed once was governor of the Chicago-land Area.

Check your local listings.  Have to run now, time for Rachael and I never miss Rachael.

Yeah I know … Don’t send me no letters.

Have A Great Weekend