Tweaking Your Reality


“T’is nothing good or bad, but thinking, makes it so.” 



Something close to a lightning bolt, a defining moment came to me this week, it happened in the shower of all places.  Here it is:  I spend entirely too much time accentuating the negative and not embracing the positive things in my life.  In other words, “I am constantly at work almost daily making myself into a bad mood or creating inner turmoil.”  My brother-in-law has a word for it, he calls it “Stinkin Thinkin.” and he could very well be right.

Today I thought we might challenge the idea that we’ll be miserable if we don’t get what we want.  That is the idea that is put forth to all of us almost daily in the media, on television, and at some times, the Internet.  So what is it that is the defining edge here?  

How we use that “three pound meatloaf between our ears” has a lot to do with it.  In other words, what we want and what we get in life, can be measured out and accomplished by how it is that we think.  

There is an old saying that suggests, “that if you want to be unhappy for the remainder of your life, just long for or wish for that which is totally out of your reach.”  But then again, society will tell you over and over, “Go for it, shoot for the moon, you have nothing to lose.”

So how do you decide.  Which one is the correct solution to the dilemma.  Do you trust your thinking or do you go with the status quo? 

One thing that enters into play is the frontal lobe of your brain.  Our “psychological immune system” lets us feel truly happy even when things don’t go as planned.  You do not get Fresh Pressed in the span of one year on, but you put up a post and eighteen hundred people view it.  

One makes you sad and disappointed, the other causes joy and elation for a perceived job well done.  A rapid fire-quick shot of whatever you need (dopamine?) to keep you going for a little while longer.

Here is another example;  You go on a date and the guy picks his nose in front of you, you never go out with him again.  You marry some poor slob, and he picks his nose, and you say to yourself, “we need to keep him away from Grandma’s fruit cake.”

Each decision weighed and inspected by your brain, for its respective worth in your life, one gives you happiness and one does not.

Believe it or not, you have the ability to chart your course thru life, you can choose to be happy and of course, you can choose to be very unhappy.  Most of us do not know how to choose between the two, myself included.  

With a New Year on tap, a clean slate, I am determined this year, to search out and find a way to turn it all around.  Which will be far from simple, you see, at my age, nothing comes easy for me any more.  Call it the beginning of wisdom, or clearly seeing things differently, whatever you want, but I am thinking there is a clear cut solution between being happy and feeling sad.  

 It is all in the way you think.  How it is, that you use the decision making processes of your mind. 

Think about this.  The front part of your brain gives you the ability to synthesize happiness, to get a little taste of something beforehand and make your decisions on that reality.  Some of you are chuckling to yourself right about now, most likely saying to yourselves … “what is this guy smoking?”  But it is true, you are capable of thought patterns such as I just said.

Need another example?  If you think it out, liver and onions doesn’t really sound all that appealing, so therefore, you decline the offer.  This done, without ever having to actually taste the liver and onions.  

 This is called synthesized happiness or thinking.  

You put the two together, and then inside your head, you made a conscious decision based on your thought patterns, as to whether this would be a good deal or not.  Then you go with it. (By the way, my mother made me eat it anyway, until I was old enough to refuse, and go to bed hungry as she put it.)

My wife stays relatively happy, not so much because I make it so for her, but because she mentally chooses to steer a course in that direction.  She will quickly tell you that “she is happy with the cards that God has dealt her, and that is fine, it is all that I need in life.”  Which I find amazing, because you see, I am constantly telling myself “this sucks and I want another deal.”  

Seldom do I get a new deal and I often find myself unhappy with the cards that I hold.

Every storm in life, will eventually run out of rain.  If you stop and take a minute to think about it, this makes an entertaining and profoundly moving case for creating a thought system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity and promotes the state of happiness in your life.

Oprah or Dr. Phil didn’t give this to me, and it is certainly not anything close to “New Age” or anything like that.  Just came to me in the shower one morning and stayed with me for a long time afterwords.

Our problem (or in this case MY problem) is … We have the power to synthesize our thoughts into good ideas and happiness, we just seldom use the tools we were given in the beginning.  All we have to do is think about it and then take the shot.  Who knows?  You might find it easier than you thought.  Going shoppin’ makes my wife happy … might work for me too …  Might exercise this new found knowledge and put it and the Credit Card to the test.