It’s Not Facebook – It’s You.

Buy the world a coke:  Last year the average American drank just under two sodas a day, a drop in per capita of about 16% since its peak in 1998.  Schools have been removing the drinks from vending machines for the past several years.  Even local government agencies are removing them in a fight against public obesity.

No Holidays:  Portugal has scraped four of its fourteen public holidays in order to boost economic activity.  It suspended two Catholic festivals and two other public holidays for five years beginning next year.  You would think just the opposite, a holiday, everyone out and about, spending money.

Brain Dead:  The principal of a New York City school has banned kindergarden students from singing Lee Greenwoood’s God Bless the U.S.A. in their graduation on the grounds that “we don’t want to offend other cultures.”  Her decision angered many parents who freely admit that a lot of people fought to move here to live freely.

So the song should be sung with a whole lot of pride.

This is so stupid on two points, it is not even funny.  First, this is America, not a satellite of some other down-trodden third world country.  Secondly, graduation ceremonies for kindergartners is just dumb.

Bottom line:  Among the companies listed on the Fortune 500 in 2010, 204 were founded by immigrants or the children of immigrants.  Someone might point that out to this dumb*** myopic principal in New York.

Early to bed and early to rise:  A new study out suggests that people that get up early in the morning are happier, healthier, and generally more satisfied with life than night owls.  So the old expression from your mother was right, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”  You would think you could hit at least one of the three wouldn’t ya.

What’s for lunch:  An anonymous bidder paid a record $3.46 million to have a steak lunch with legendary investor Warren Buffett, who auctions off a meal for charity each year.

Last year’s winning bidder, investment adviser Ted Weschier, was hired by Buffett several months after he paid $2.6 million to dine with the Oracle of Omaha.  Which is a lot better than me, I usually share my lunch with some desperate crack head taking his lunch break from working the corner of the intersection down the street.

Go do something to yourself:  Police in Middleborough, Mass. are now allowed to issue you a ticket for $20 if they hear you using the F-bomb in public.  The fabric of American Life changing before your very eyes.

Nothing it seems is right anymore.  Now I understand that some folks are suggesting that Pat Sajak and Vanna White were actually admitting to doing the Wheel Of Fortune while they were plastered?  Word is that he and Vanna would spend the two-and-one-half hour lunch periods at a Mexican restaurant sucking down some terrific Margarita’s.  It isn’t any wonder they were buying all of those vowels, they were most likely so tanked they could not recite the alphabet.

Depressed?  It could be you and not Facebook:  A new study has found that too much time on the social networking site is not producing depression among students.  The students were surveyed with 43 text-message questionnaires at random intervals over a seven-day period between February and December of 2011.

Students were asked if they were currently online, how many minutes they had been online and what they were doing on the Internet.  Survey participants were on Facebook for over half of the total time online. When evaluated by researchers, the data, including depression-screening results, they found no significant associations between social-media use and the probability of depression.  So it must be your deodorant or something else.  You can read more here  Facebook-obssesive/compulsive link study

To Do List for the Upcoming Weekend:  Re-calibrate the line between fiction and reality.  Meditate using new mantra, “Everything if fine in the private sector … Everything if fine in the private sector … your current balance is …”

Go to Al-Anon meeting, locate a new interesting friend with benefits (someone who shaves her armpits and isn’t a smoker).

Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “no comment”  … Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “as far as I know everything’s terrific” … Stand in front of a mirror and repeat over and over, “Baby, you aint much, but you’re all you got.” (I don’t shave my armpits but I do not smoke, dip or chew).

Quit this business and teach creative writing at Cal State Bakersfield just a few miles south of Fresno.  Lose some weight or bite the hand that feeds you, because you’ve had more than enough to eat.  That should keep me going until at least 6:45 p.m. Sunday night.

Haven’t posted a video in awhile, check this one out, it is pretty cool.  It is entitled “Fight Back” and is quite interesting.  Man-man, I just love creative and talented people, they make the world such an interesting place.


Just In Time For Summer

Let’s see, we have a cat with an arrow thru its head in Santa Cruz California (no real story there, they are looking for the cat hater), Osamma-been-forgotten is now no longer with us and Facebook is alive with virus attacks (I found that somewhat amusing, all these ding-dongs clicking on the death video, which we all know, there wasn’t one, and then getting infected … gives a totally new meaning to the term “friending another person” now doesn’t it.).

Charlie Sheen tours tornado damage in the deep south (I am not making this up people!)

How about Manuel Albert Soares, an international fugitive sought by Portugal since he skipped out on a prison sentence in 2008.  He was caught driving in the carpool lane of the New Jersey Turnpike this week without enough passengers.  Now that was stoooopid …  So I guess that leaves us with the milk truck?  Remember those ad’s on television awhile back …  “Milk … It does a body good.?”  Well a quick thinking driver of a milk tanker in Northern Ireland saved the lives of two men trapped in a burning car by dousing the flames with milk.

When he came across the crash scene, he positioned his truck so he could hose the fire from the tank’s rear valve.  When firefighters arrived on the scene, they rescued the trapped men, and then they were transported to a local hospital.

A high school janitor has paid for a new running track in White Center Washington.  He won $3.4 million on the lottery (over five years ago incidentally) and has continued to work at the school during this time.  Last week, he donated $40,0000 toward the installation of a new track.  He is retiring, and he said that “kids do things for you, they keep you young.”  I will have to remember that one.

Reminds me of the principal of a grammar school who had a problem with all the girls in the girls bathroom smearing lipstick on the mirror.  They would apply their lipstick and then in turn, kiss the mirror to smear it.  When the principal told the janitor about it, he said, “I can fix that.”

So they both went into the girls bathroom when all the girls were present (forewarning them first that they were coming in) and the principal, in front of the little ladies “explained the problem to the janitor.”

The janitor then said to the principal, “I can fix that.”  He then walked over to the closest commode, stuck in his brush, pulled it out, smeared the liquid all over the mirror, then pulled a wipe rag from his pocket and rubbed vigorously until the mirror was again, squeaky clean.

From that day on … There was never a lip print on the mirror again.

Never underestimate the power of American ingenuity.  That is what they often like to call pro-active thinking, and then you run across non-productive thinking, such as in the next comment.

Just when you think “you have seen or read it all” you come across the moron’s in Thornton, Colorado, who have outlawed spinning barbershop poles.  Here is another bad case of legislated American overkill.

The tradition of marking barbershops with a red, white, and blue striped pole dates back to medieval times.  But the city fathers in this backwater stop to nowhere have said that a modern version of it poses a threat to public safety.  “We don’t want signs to be distracting especially to motorists who are driving by.  (Motorists who are most likely driving by and text messaging on their cell phones for cryin’ out loud)

We need a break from all of these elected “do gooders that over regulate our lives.”

One more and then I am outta here (Which my good friend in Florida, Bill, hates it when I say that).  Just this week, in New York a new law was passed regulating childhood games such as tag, Wiffle ball, and horseshoes, which will now soon be designated “non-passive recreational activities with significant risk of injury.”

Glad they got that straight, and lookie here, just in time for summer.

Give me a break.


Dream Weaver




 Meanwhile back at the cave:


“Wait.  What did you say?…You’re predicting $4 a gallon gasoline?  … I hadn’t heard that.”

George W. Bush


‘My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you’ll join with me as we try to change it.’
 Barack Obama


“Huh?  Whatzat?”

John McClain


Have not been sleeping all that good here lately, so I did a little research on sleep and the dream state, the human body and all that good stuff.  Just finished this article on dreams and what they mean to tell you in the quiet moments of the night. 


For instance, If your teeth fall out or crumble, you’re unhappy with your physical appearance and it may also mean you’re excessively concerned about how others perceive you. 


If you’re giving birth, great change is unfolding.  Dreaming about babies indicates a desire to behave more maturely.  If you can fly, you’ve just conquered a stressful situation.  If you dream that you’re able to control where you fly, it’s a sign of confidence.  Flying aimlessly suggests you’re cautiously optimistic about your success.  Last night I dreamed I was naked as the day is long and I was slowly backing into a greasy, cold brass door knob ….. No telling on that one huh?


Fish and chips with attitude.  Police arrested a longtime restaurant owner in Acworth, Georgia for selling more than seafood out of his establishment.  Investigators said they found a pound of marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, ecstasy, five guns and 10 mason jars of moonshine.  And you guys thought all them boys in Alabama had all the fun? 


Check please. 


Raining here today, a little moisture and that is good.  I am listening to the rain rattle on the carport and the sound gives me the urge to go to the bathroom.  I noticed that the sound of running water will frequently do that to me, asked my neighbor the same thing, “Does the sound of running water affect you?” and he said, “Nope, don’t do a thing for me, I am as regular as clockwork, go every morning at 7:30 a.m. on the dot.”  I said, “Well that is amazing, just like clockwork huh, 7:30 a.m. every morning, right on the money?” and he said, “Yeppers.  Only thing is I don’t get up until 8:15 am or so.”


Big surprise here. 


Efforts to tax oil companies dies in the Senate this week ….. Now there is a major yawner there boys & girls?  Who would have ever “thunk thet?”  Oil protests in other countries this week too.  Hong Kong, Nepal, India …  people got out and marched in the streets to protest (notice they were not driving anything, so much for the India is using more of the world’s oil rumor huh?) and the Spanish are now reported to be stockpiling the stuff.  Fearing shortages by striking truck drivers which have also got the Portuguese to join, people are starting to protest the high price of fuel worldwide now.


AAA Auto Association is now reporting more people are being towed under Emergency Situations.  Meanwhile in Detroit, GM and Ford are furiously designing a totally new gas gauge for the 2009 model year, with an additional “F” in it.  This will be located just below empty for the convenience of the American consumer who seems to be preoccupied on running on fumes.


Rock Hill, South Carolina has had enough of “displays of enthusiasm at high school graduations” and has asked the local police to arrest anyone who is applauding at ceremonies.  I am not making this up. 


If you clap, they are hauling you off to the slammer.  Seven people were arrested by police and charged with public disorderly conduct after being accused of cheering during a recent graduation ceremony. 


The nerve of these people, actually cheering a graduating senior, are they out of their minds.  Don’t they know that it is illegal to pray before a football game in Texas, what were they thinking.  I suppose these portable Co2 boat horns are out of the question huh?


So who is it gonna be? 


Everyone is trying to outguess each other on who the Vice Presidential candidates will be.  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Lone Ranger and Tonto, Batman and Robin, Sonny & Cher no longer an option, Tony Orlando and Dawn, no wait that is a three-some. 


America is fresh out of hero’s.  I seriously wrack my brain, and I just cannot figure out a dynamic duo for this election that is apparently taking forever to get over with.  Locating suitable replacements for our current leadership is presenting a problem it seems  It is going to be hard to replace “Biggy Rat and Itchy Brother” they have endeared themselves to us so much over the years.


Taking into consideration how much faith the average voter has in the system, we don’t really search out the people with the ability to lead.  When you look back on the presidents of the past, it is kind of disappointing to see how many lack-luster, less than great, presidents we have had.  We have had in the past, good ones, bad ones, mediocre ones and the one we have now.


He makes me smile … Just this week he announced “I have done about all I can for the American Economy.”  Yup … sure have, that dog aint gonna hunt either Dubya.


So I had this dream, and I am up in the air, slowly circling the Washington monument in D.C., and I can see and hear God speaking to me, around and around this ancient monolith I soar, and it is as if I have been circling for a thousand years and I still do not know if I am a Falcon, a Hawk or just a plain old Oklahoma Rock Dove (Pigeon), and I hear the rain on the carport …  and …. Uh oh.