Cheep Fills

So here I am boarding a plane for Seattle, and I was feeling a touch nervous because that morning a plane was forced to make an emergency landing at this very airport after a window blew out at 14,000 ft above sea level and this incredibly huge Wall Street Banking Investment Counselor was sucked right out the window headfirst!

Okay, you caught me, I am lying. What are you gonna do, sue me? It is a pleasant thought tho.

Being as I love to toss mostly unpopular ideas your way, and the thought of writing about warning decals on the side of my garbage truck being written in Spanish doesn’t seem to appeal to me this morning, I decided I am going to write about something important to us all. Male pattern baldness, no wait, Incontinence, which fork to use in a really good restaurant.

No, that was not it, what was it? Oh yeah, gasoline, the price at the pump.

Now no one wants to talk about gasoline, gas after all is old news, with all these crooked bankers cleaning up, the political candidates “rewriting history” as they go along, and I suppose the recent announcement that Britney Spears Mom and Dad have established a curfew for their “twenty-five year old daughter.”

I mean face it … Who wants to talk about gasoline?

I suppose my email will again heat up because of this unpopular subject. Your overriding concern for my well being is touching, don’t get me wrong. A few people here lately have actually inquired about my mental health, sobriety and or prospects for a continued life in this galaxy. And taking it one step further, some would actually like to run over me with a bus.

Such is life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to those of you who send me messaged laced with such kindness such as “You are a real Okie Squat, y’know that?” or “I hope you sit under a sick horse” or “Your parents were not married” something like that.

So in the spirit of gentle discourse, here goes: Please forward any and all complaints to the appropriate system coordinator at, whoever that is this week. Now that was funny, no? Here it comes, git reedy (As Toby Keith would say) … Gasoline is a great deal! Even if the price goes back up and we have to pay even more.

So in case you missed it, here it is again … Gas is a good deal.

Give me a freshly paved two-lane and a couple of gallons, throw in a good tail-wind for good measure, and I am happier than a wildcatter at a down-hole convention in Lubbock. (Try and make sense out of that one … I dare ya.) Being your typical American red-blooded truck lovin consumer, I would drive to hell and back if I thought I could make it in a weekend.

Unfortunately, I like you, have realized that a $20 bill won’t fill up my old Chevy-resale-red-hoopie any more, on most days in doesn’t even come close, in some parts of Utah, three times that ($60) won’t cut it either. But I am not complaining.

The fact is that gasoline remains relatively cheap right now (wait until the election is over boys & girls, this will go out the window, quickie pronto!) and I know that I have been a fortunate pilgrim up to this point. You see, we have had decades of cheap priced fuel. But those days are over, like an early morning mist, they have evaporated and no longer are to be found.

Back in the day, I could fill up my ‘47 model Plymouth for about $8, then later on, oil embargo prices arrived and the long lines formed. Our local gas station converted to the metric system so it could sell gasoline at more than $1 a gallon without saying so; 33 cents a liter sounds better. (Its no small wonder a gallon of fuel is over $9 in the U.K., look what they use for a standard of measure). Most countries around the world look at us, and consider us foolish (if not fuelish) and think we are crazy.

They KNOW what fuel costs, unlike us.

We know the price of everything but the value of nothing.

Two decades ago, during the Persian Gulf War, gasoline prices were about 32% lower than they are today, and adjusted for inflation it should be about $6 per gallon or more. We have celebrated low oil prices by buying fleets of gas guzzlers, military-size vehicles that boast of fuel efficiency of 10/15 mpg, have the aerodynamics of say, a brick. Our society has been spoiled by all the reduced energy costs over the past three decades, so much that we cannot even fathom that we have a good deal.

Cheap fuel after all, makes us feel better about our world.

So there, I said it, I feel better already.

Please forward your complaints to the appropriate system coordinator at Conoco-Phillips 66, Exxon, BP, or your nearest Arco Station. Now I am sneaking over across the street to siphon some gas, while it is still dark, I need to mow the lawns.


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