Juggling Reality

Excuse me, would it be alright if we ….

Dover Delaware – A lawyer representing a condemned ax murderer told the state Supreme Court that prison officials violated state law by adopting a new lethal-injection protocol without allowing for public review or comment. An attorney for the Department of Correction argued that its policies and procedures are confidential and not routinely subject to disclosure. This is a new wrinkle in the fabric of society, getting pre-authorized permission and approval in order to execute an “AX Killer?”  Give me a break.

Could not happen to a nicer guy.

OJ Simpson is suffering through agonizing drug withdrawal behind bars says the National Enquirer. Simpson, recently convicted of armed robbery for trying to steal some of his old sports memorabilia suffers from severe arthritis because of old football injuries and was taking large doses of painkillers. Prison doctors have cut back on those medications, leavening Simpson hobbling and angry. “Sometimes he screams at his jailers, demanding pills,” a source tells the newspaper, “but his cries are being ignored.”  Welcome to your own personal hell OJ, enjoy your stay.

Trouble in Paradise.

There is now valid proof as to why Hawaii is the most expensive place in the U.S. to live. Honolulu – More Hawaii homeowners than ever are falling behind on mortgage payments; 594 home foreclosures were logged in September. The figure from Realty-Trac is more than three times the number for September 2007. A spokesman said the increase pushes Hawaii from 34th in the nation for foreclosures to 20th.

Gettin Tight In Suburbia

Coeur d’Alene, Idaho – Sales of booze are up at state-run stores in northern Idaho. State Liquor Dispensary Superintendent Dyke Nally said people are avoiding costlier bar and restaurant tabs and doing more parties at home to save money. Personally, I am all for people staying home to imbibe and make a fool of themselves. And please remember, “Friends do not let friends drive drunk.” If they insist, then you should shave their eyebrows and put them on a bus to Chicago. It is a public service, and actually quite entertaining at the same time.  Speaking of buses? (Nice blend huh) Check this out.

Someone needs to remove her head from her you know what or head back home … We don’t need MORE twisted science.

Just when you thought it could not get any worse. In an election that has been fought on an astoundingly low cultural and intellectual level, with both candidates pretending that tax cuts can go like peaches and cream with the staggering new levels of federal deficit, and paltry charges being traded in petty ways, and with Joe the Plumber becoming the emblematic stupidity of the campaign, it didn’t seem possible that things could go any lower or get any dumber. But they did last Friday, when, at a speech in Pittsburgh, Gov. Sarah Palin denounced wasteful expenditure on fruit-fly research, adding for good xenophobic and anti-elitist measure that some of this research took place “in Paris, France” and winding up with a folksy “I kid you not.” […] More >>>

LOOKS LIKE THE SAME OLD CIRCUS TO ME

Turning Off The Juice

Concord New Hampshire . The state plans to turn off more than half of the 621 highway lights along Interstate 95 in the Portsmouth area and along Interstate 93 in Hooksett and Manchester. It said flipping the switches will save energy and about $250,000 a year. We did that last year, we turned the heat down, shut off the lights, we sat in the dark, my cup cake and I, froze our hinny’s off, and we saved twelve bucks.

Check The Garage

Fayetteville Arkansas – Police have arrested an armored car driver who had reported that the truck he drove was stolen by men who took him hostage. Police recovered nearly $500,000 from the residence of Brandon Whitehouse, 21, after he told investigators he acted alone. Whitehouse is charged with theft and filing a false police report. Kind of like the guy who got caught with fifteen pounds of smoke and claimed the C.I.A. planted it on him … that one didn’t fly either.

Better Living Thru Chemistry

San Francisco – An organic chemistry student at the University of California, Santa Cruz, pleaded no contest to heroin possession after police found drug-laced beer in his garage. Chaz Renzelman, 28, said he created the concoction by adding a handful of poppy pods to his homemade beer to improve the flavor. Renzelman was sentenced to a drug diversion program.

A Rude Awakening

A Pennsylvania woman was asleep in her bed last week when a large chunk of ice exploded thru the ceiling and hit her on the forehead. Mary Ann Foster, 66, was left with a large lump, and said that she could easily have been killed if the projectile hadn’t broken into pieces as it passed through the roof of her house. Authorities say the ice, which Foster saved most likely fell from a passing plane, but Foster isn’t so sure. “There is a little fish smell to it,” she says. “Which is weird.” And now this Tuesday, I have a totally new definition of the word “weird.”

Hard Times In Texas

Things are so bad of the seven gift shops in Crawford, Texas, that once sold George W. Bush souvenirs, three have gone broke and only one still maintains regular hours. Meanwhile the White House press corps released a national policy statement on the economy just yesterday. It read: “Save a little money each month and the end of the year, you will be surprised at how little you have.”

If you are not all that crazy about this (pardon the pun) then check out what this guy in LA says the “New America” is going to be like, little eye opener here for sure. Seven more days until the Obammer Rapture.

And finally … Melt Down In The Heart Land

Psychiatric hospitals nationwide are reporting that admissions have more than doubled due to people suffering extreme stress about home foreclosures, job losses, and plunging stock prices. It appears that the appropriate response to our current reality in America, is to simply just go insane.

Have to go!  I am late for group …

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“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online), Sarah Palin article Slate Online.

Back Off (audio)

Leave Me Alone I am disgruntled

Leave Me Alone I am disgruntled

Went to the doctor on Friday, part of my yearly check up and planned maintenance schedule. You see life doesn’t begin after forty, maintenance begins after forty. Recently my sister said “that sixty was the new forty” and I love my sister, but she has that wrong, she isn’t even close … Sixty is the new Sixty and that is the name of that tune.

My doctor says my blood pressure is high, I am winning the lottery on my cholesterol and all in all, I should not be here, but I am. Another mystery of medical science.

He says that my weight is perfect if I was seven feet tall! He cannot do a thing about this fungus on my thumb and I should be encased in something that they make pickles out of.

So I am sitting there and I tell him (the doctor) that I am somewhat depressed with all this government crap, Obammer not willing to show his birth certificate to anyone, McSame not remembering where it is he lives, Sarah Palin and her views on loading your own ammo. So I ask him about some anti-depressants and what could he give me.

He said he could give me this stuff that would alleviate a lot of my anxiety, but that he would have to schedule checkup’s for at least 84 days to check on me. I suggested that perhaps he could pass on that, and instead, just listen to the Police Scanner.

But he said no dice.

So I am back to my own reality, not a good week for government, business, and doctor appointments. I suppose we are onto another four years of pretending that the Global Warming issue is NOT an issue and we are going to burn freight-train loads of “Clean Coal.” Which like the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Big Foot and UFO’s, the Republican Flat Earth theory, all of which do not exist.

Bush did promise, exactly like McSame has promised, that he would impose mandatory emission controls not only on carbon dioxide but also on three other dangerous pollutants. Unfortunately in Bush’s case, that quickly took a back burner position in the government kitchen, and he went back to sitting in the oval office popping bubble wrap and playing video games.

With all this current rounds of check kiting schemes and far fetched financial programs going on, I have forgotten if we are going to drill the tundra or not? We are going to punch holes in this theory too. Welcome to the wonderful world of Washington Fuzzy Thinking.

What, you wonder, does drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge have to do with solving the energy problem in California? Absolutely, nothing. Less than one percent of California’s electricity comes from oil. So it pretty apparent that dog isn’t gonna hunt.

Wind power, Mr. T. Boone Pickens plan is currently being tossed about, take a look at that. He wants to be the Saudi Arabia of wind-power on the American plains. Take a gander at how much land it would take to accomplish this lofty goal, it boggles the mind.  To get the United States off foreign energy, we would need 41,767,850 turbines, which would over an area of 10,441,962.5 acres of land.  This is also 16,316 square miles or nearly the size of Vermont and New Hampshire combined.

The complete article can be found here ….

Perhaps after one solid week of “bad news” this is why this morning I find myself disgruntled. I always loved that word “disgruntled” my boss used it quite a lot. It has that “Metamucil” (laxative) sound to it. I am a bit disgruntled; I ate too much cheese last night on my pizza. You get disgruntled when you see that the amount of gas you used last year at this time was $54.54 and this year, the same amount of gas, is $110.47.

And then there is Joe Biden who this week is quoted as saying …. “It is your patriotic duty to pay higher taxes.”

That will make you disgruntled for sure.

Finding myself debilitated by a series of bad news announcements, I have sank into a truly pitiable senescence attitude, surrounded by newspapers I no longer can stand to read, and once again bitching about the moron’s in our government this morning.What the hey?  It beats mowing the lawn or finding yourself on the wrong-end of weed whacker.

Bad news just has that effect on me.  I just naturally find myself bent out of shape.  And after the week I have had … It is no small wonder I feel yucky.

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Parting Shot: “Cheer up.  Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?  And Rap Music will be considered Golden Oldies!”

Territorial Loons …

I don’t do windows … A strange invention. Clear Tech self-cleaning glass. The glass is coated with titanium dioxide, which is photo-catalytic, meaning that it has a chemical reaction to light. When sunlight hits the glass, it breaks down material on the window into smaller and smaller particles. The coating is also hydrophilic, meaning that rainwater won’t form droplets on the glass … it forms as an even sheet that flows down the window, taking dirt away with it. (If it doesn’t rain often enough, I suppose you would have to hose it down every now and then) Japan’s Nippon sheet Glass Company began test-marketing the glass for large office buildings and airports, but they were soon overrun with requests from individual customers, so now it is made for homes too.

Better late than never … Utah begins phasing out highway signs that refer to the 2002 Winter Olympics. New signs will feature geographically specific images, such as Zion National Park and Lake Powell.

More Loons … Laconia New Hampshire is reporting that a census of the state’s loons showed a slight increase in the population, but a decrease in population. Yes, you read that right. Didn’t make sense to me either. The Loon Preservation Committee, (not to be confused with the Republican Party … The Grand Old Party that is somewhat short of fresh faces), surveyed 119 lakes and found the number of territorial pairs of loons increased from last years count, 125 chicks were hatched, but unfortunately only 95 actually survived.

The Loon Count from Minneapolis-St Paul isn’t in, but I am sure that the number of “matched territorial pairs” has increased from four years ago.

Dirty Money … Americans are now the biggest cocaine users in the world. This is the conclusion of a study of paper currency from nations around the world, which found MORE cocaine residue on U.S. Dollars than on currency from such countries as Spain, Canada, and England. The cocaine is passed onto the bills by the same fingers that directly touch the drugs or the wrappings.

Some coke users also use rolled bills as straws to sniff the drug (usually a hundred dollar bill, if you are classy dude) and cocaine is not the only substance that you will find on the money.  It appears money also has some other nasty stuff on it.

Also included in the study was the $1 bill which usually circulate for about 12 months on average, and they show traces of E.coli and other disease-causing bacteria. Might think about this the next time you stick a wad of money in your mouth, while searching for your car keys in the other pocket.

Big Payday … Thanks to high oil prices, the member countries of OPEC cartel collected $645 billion in revenue in the first six months of this year, that is DOUBLE their combined incomes for the entire year of 2007. Meanwhile, the U.S. Economy still continues to erode. The Mafia in New York City is rumored to have cut off five Federal Judges.

Things are not improving …….

Ethanol … The EPA won’t back down. A coalition of environmentalists and oil companies had requested a suspension of the governments demand that 9 billion gallons of Ethanol be added to the nation’s oil supplies. Reasoning that the increase in corn production is hurting wildlife habitat and consumers while failing to cut greenhouse-gas emissions. The EPA said that the Ethanol requirement didn’t cause “severe economic harm.”

Which is in total compliance with the Bush administrations policies concerning the planet. The current administration continues to monitor the situation with an attitude of outright venality  Which is basically summed up as the governments’ abuse of Human Rights is only exceeded by its destruction of the environment.  If you are hungry … tough. If you are a frog … even worse.

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects.

1. A bible.  2. A silver dollar. 3. A bottle of whisky. 4. And a Playboy magazine.

“I’ll just hide behind the door,” the old preacher said to himself. “When he comes home from school today, I’ll see which object he picks up.  If it’s the bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he’s going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.”

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s foot- steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month’s centerfold.

“Lord have mercy,” the old preacher disgustedly whispered.

“He’s gonna run for Congress.”

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: No group of people have worse hairstyles than men in Government.”