Out To Lunch

Yesterday me and the Mrs. we drove to Oklahoma City and went out to eat.  Hate to do it this far away from payday, but we had not been there in quite sometime.  The drive into town is not so bad any more, we have a new interstate connection, six full lanes, each one homesteaded by a driving impaired lane change dummy. Continue reading

The Resurrection

The old preacher pulls up a chair on the pulpit and then invites all the youngsters in the congregation “that are in Big Church” to come up and sit with him. The little dinkers settle down at his feet, in a small circle around the preacher, and he says to them:

Does any one know what The Resurrection is?”  Continue reading

The New-You

Here lately, I have been devoting a lot of time and thought to the matter of Identity Theft.  Surely a serious concern in our day and age, the loss of one’s personal information to someone who is less than trustworthy with it. It amazes me the attitude of some credit agencies and banking institutions concerning this important matter.  It is stolen information, but you, the consumer, are responsible for it.  To make matters even worse, they get their files hacked, and allow your personal information to be compromised and you are still held accountable for that too.

Something is not right when this is allowed to happen.

It has never happened to me, so I have never had to endure this long process of recovery, but I can assure you it is still on my mind a lot of the time.  I am very stingy with my personal information because of it, to the extent of taking my mail to town to post, just in case.

Stepping outside my comfort zone … I wonder, if someone was to steal your information and assume your identity, why is it that you cannot just assume a totally new I.D.?

Now if that were the case that would certainly be a plus for me.  Would they take down all those old pictures at the Post Office? Would I be able to get a totally new VISA/MasterCard with increased generous limits?  While we are at it, I would like to be three inches taller, and someone, anyone, bring back my hair!  (Those other physical improvements that no longer work will be discussed in a separate post on a date that is yet to be announced) Would my wife recognize me, would my dog allow me to reach down and pet him on top of his head?

Important questions.

Then there is the bright side, there is always a bright side, didn’t you know that?  All those people who call you and want to solicit your vote, they will not have your new-you identity and your new-you telephone number.  No more calls for storm windows and doors, carports on the front of your house, that guy is no longer around.

And because you live in you newly established new-you world, no pesky letters from Clearing House Sweepstakes.  You are not a finalist anywhere on the planet, the old-you gets that stuff now, you as the new-you get nothing.

The I.R.S. cannot find you, you no longer exist, as the new-you just just kind of slipped thru the cracks as the politicians are so fond of describing the practice of corruption and theft in this country.

The bartender no longer will be able to give you your usual, as you as the new-you, are not all that familiar with him to begin with.  All the old sad songs no longer apply in your new happy life, the sad songs and the down stuff on the radio and television is now for the old-you.

The new-you won’t be able to just leave love alone.

In the dark you will slide over to her side of the bed, you put your lips up to her ear and whisper sweet nothings to her and surround her with newly found energized affection and love.  The heart in the new-you chest is beating hard and fast, the perspiration beads up in the temple of your new-you head and you sigh, long and hard, as you pull her body close to you.

She then says … “Knock it off, I am tired.  I have to work tomorrow.  Go to sleep.”

Which just goes to show you, “you can only take a totally new-you so far in this world” some things work for the betterment of man, and some things do not.

But what the hey?

It is always worth the shot.

OOO

Link info:  One of the features of this site is the ability to ascertain what people are looking at, and what they are ignoring on any given day.  We have noticed a lot of folks are ignoring the links.

Links are inserted into the post to refer you to other items of interest or information.  When you see a link, all you have to do is click on it, and it will automatically take you to that site or info.  After viewing that information or photo, all you have to do is hit the back page arrow and you are right back here.

It has been noted that a lot of our readers in their haste to get thru the piece are disreguarding the links and not utilizing them.  This is sad, because you are missing out on a lot of good stuff at times, and you never get to see or experience it.  Just thought we would take a moment to point that out.

Love Hurts

Uh, I forgot?

Santa Fe New Mexico Officials have figured out why they could not find the 50-year old time capsule, due to be opened in 2010.  The capsule was never buried.  A local newspaper has revealed that Santa Fe’s former mayor quietly gave up on the time capsule in 1960 when the city ran short of money.  “Those were the days of confusion, days of chaos.”  said the mayor.  The capsule, a 150-pound iron tube, would up being used as a garbage can in an office supply store.

Time In A Bottle

Darin Winkler was walking along the banks of the Spokane River when he spotted an antique bottle with an old fashioned cork stopper, inside was a pencil-written note dated March 30th, 1913, requesting that the finder of the bottle contact Emmett Presnell of Rockford, Washington.  By sleuthing on the Internet. Winkler determined that Presnell died in 1978 after a long career as a homesteader.  Presnell’s 86-year old nephew, Tom, thinks his uncle launched the bottle out of curiosity while tending cattle on the banks of nearby Rock Creek or Hangman Creek.

Not everyone believes in Earth Day and a healthy planet.

Spokane residents are smuggling in dishwasher detergent to evade a new ban on phosphate containing cleaners.  Many consumers say the new “green phosphate free detergents” they’ve bought leave their dishes greasy and encrusted with food.  So they’ve stooped to driving to Idaho to load up on Electrosol and Cascade.  “Yes I am a smuggler” said resident Patti Marcotte.  “I am taking my chances because dirty dishes I just cannot live with that.”

New wrinkle on an old twist.

Thousands of boat owners hit hard by the recession are abandoning their pleasure craft, rather than pay for their upkeep and mooring, by sandpapering off their registration numbers and sinking them at sea or ditching them in harbors or on the shoreline.  Our waters already polluted and strained to very breaking point are now becoming the new dumping grounds, especially hard hit, Florida.

Unfortunately for Mother Earth, the news is never going to be good.  Man will never be concerned about global warming or the greenhouse effect.  The words are not scary enough, they do not evoke the primary emotion of fear.  Global means all-encompassing, warming connotes comfort, green equals growth in most peoples’ minds, and house breaks down to shelter in some schools of thought.  Growth, shelter, and all encompassing comfort.

It is at best a “mixed message.”

Doesn’t sound like a real threat.

Relax.

With automakers expecting to sell 6 million fewer cars this year than last year, and estimated 1,200 car dealers will go out of business this year.  900 went out of business last year.  Newest attempt at fleecing the consumer here is “an advertising fee.” As it was explained to me this is added to the car because “we have to advertise these cars, so all of us in a three state area, pay into an advertising pool” that is what that is for.

Yeah shure, sign me up for that, and throw in another five gallons of turn signal fluid while you are at it. People who operate like this, they deserve to go under.  In this case it is better to entertain an idea, than to take it home to live with you for the next 8 to 10 years of your life.

The new Arabs of America

The Japanese dealers in the area, riding high on their own particular Tsunami of economic good news, are now selling their cars for “FULL RETAIL PRICE” plus an added $900 dealer prep sticker or some other bogus charge in order to drive up the price.  So trust that greed and avarice are still alive in this country, despite the best efforts of the government at trying to stop or kill it.

Bored?

Have we a deal for you.

Chase a twister in Oklahoma on Tempest Tours five-night mini tornado tour.  Thrill-seekers board “storm-intercept vehicles” and hunt down severe weather patterns.  The tour runs June 8 thru the 13th, and packages start at $1,295 with lodging.  Me and the wife were in a “storm-intercept vehicle” once, it cost us about $1,300 in hail damage and of course, “was a real adventure.”

Here is a switch for you.

Reverse Migration

Sallie Mae (student lending institution) is closing down call centers and IT operations in India and other foreign countries and will bring the jobs back to the United States.  Hard to believe eh?  Sallie Mae, which employs 8,000 people nationwide, expects to add 2,000 jobs to its U.S. Payroll in the next 18 months.  I am sorry Punjab, you will now have to move to the USA and we are going to have to ask you to turn in your locker keys. Who knows, it might be soon, that you will be able to pick up a telephone, call these people, and get someone in Birmingham Alabama, who actually speaks English and you can understand them.  Now that is a concept.

Love hurts.

A Florida man was arrested recently while wearing an “I love (heart) my marriage” t-shirt.  He was arrested for allegedly choking his wife and throwing numerous items at her during a fight.  Isn’t marriage a wonderful institution, where you search the ends of the earth, for that “special person” that you can hook up with, and annoy for the rest of his/her life.  Marriage is a rough job, because you always end up dealing with feelings and of course, lawyers.

Yeah?  I hear you snickering and giggling, chortling and you are not fooling anyone.  If you believe that marriage is a 50/50 proposal, then you do not know a thing about women in general and nothing about percentages.

There is always another perspective on it, if you want a taste of it, check it out. That Saddity Chic

Now me, I am a smart man, a practical man, a man for all seasons.  I do not want to, nor do I plan, to irritate my wife.  I am going to make every possible effort to insure that my marriage is a full and rewarding experience, that it is a success, a model for all to see.

Why?

Because I love my house, that is why.

OOO

The Love Boat