ObamaCare Certified AARP Health Care Professional Drama

medical emblem

My back is cold and I am lying here on the paper, looking up at the ceiling, and I know I have been in this room before.

How?  The tiles look very familiar, the Dr. walks in, “What is going on today Mr. Smith?”

I always like that, how they refer to me as “Mister Smith.”  A sign of respect, honor, dignity, something I am totally unaccustomed to, believe me.

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Under The Radar …


Okay, Okay … Everything is going along just purrrrrrfek.  The new Interstate section is now open and the traffic is moving smoothly, only takes me 35 minutes to get to the doctor’s office and the hospital.  No one flipped me off, and the wife didn’t have to re-load when I changed lanes, it is gonna be a good day.

Time to check in.  

They have this new hand scanner thing that identifies me and I don’t have a lot of paperwork to contend with, I am a happy camper.  A nice looking lady walks into the room and calls out “Number 28” which is my number and she leads me to a room.  

This is when I first see …. IT. 


There I am introduced to this huge do-nut looking machine and a whole lot of gauges.  My anxiety level seems to surge looking at this thing that ought to be in a Star Wars feature, it is massive.

She tells me to disrobe and put on the free-flowing don’t look while he is walking away gown and some slippers. 


Just to be on the safe side of the hospital attire scale, I snatch a second robe and cover up the first robe.  She sits down next to me and begins a series of questions.

Do you have or ever have questions:

Do you smoke
Do you drink
Do you cheat at cards
Do you trifle with other peoples women
Have you ever secretly watched Martha Stewart or Kathy Lee Gifford video’s
Absolutely not!

Do you have:

Heart Disease
High Blood Pressure
Have you ever been operated on
Yes, six times

Do you currently have cancer?

That is when I lost it. 

Jeeze lady, you don’t think I have enough on my plate right now to say Grace over?


I am now seriously considering moving to Asia and trying some acupuncture treatments, now that, looks interesting.