Weather Guessers Game

We had thunder-garbage and twisters yesterday, and we are scheduled for more today.  This time of the year, all of the local weatherman kind of get that glassy-eye look, sort of like a deer in the headlights, and they often go off the deep-end of the pool.  Yesterday was such the case, everything from baseball size hail, to teacup size was described.

The apocalyptic end of the world for me and the Misses was supposed to have arrived at 10:18 P.M. and it did not actually show up until well after three in the morning.  Several areas of our state did have tornadoes touch down and there was some damage, last I heard it did not cause any deaths, and that is always good news.  It did however drop 2.5 inches of rain on us, and the pond filled up overnight, went from 16” to  43” in the blink of an eye.  We went from something like this:

To the exact opposite in a matter of a few hours.”

This most likely would scare the be-Jesus out of most of you, but we here in the Heartland, we are sadly, kind of used to it.  We have been richly rewarded with good competent weather researchers here and out of all of them, the clear cut favorite seems to be Gary England.  You can see him in several clips in the movie Twister that came out a few years back.

Being as it is a slow day on the old goat farm and in order to cope with the loss of “our regular programming” for hours on end, we have developed a game of sorts.

The Weather Guesser Game. 

Here are the rules.

1. Everyone selects a storm chaser other than Val Castor. Every time Gary talks to your storm chaser, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your storm chaser. Take four drinks if your storm chaser says “tornado on the ground.”
2. Everyone selects a county other than Pottawatomie County. Every time Gary mentions your county, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your county. Take four drinks if a tornado touches down in your county.

One drink
1. Take one drink every time Gary says the following:
“Hook echo” | “Updraft” | “Metro” | “Doppler radar” | “Wall cloud” | “Ranger 9” | “Underground” | “Mobile home”
2. When Gary gives a list of counties, take one drink for every county in the list.
3. Take one drink every time Gary interrupts a program. Take one drink if Gary says “You’re not missing any of [program name].” Take one drink when Gary says “We’ll keep you advised.”

Two drinks
1. Take two drinks every time Gary says the following:
“Baseball-sized hail” | “Waterloo Road” | “Pottawatomie County” | “Deer Creek High School”
2. Take two drinks every time Gary mentions the following towns:
Burns Flat
Dill City
Wayne (or Payne)
(Extra bonus points if you can correctly pronounce most of these town names without the help of your second cousin)
3. Take two drinks every time Gary talks to Val Castor.

Three drinks
1. Take three drinks if we see footage from Val Castor.
2. Take three drinks if we see footage from Pottawatomie County.
3. Take three drinks if Gary mentions the following:
“Immediate tornado precautions”
“National Weather Service”
“Portable Radio”
“Take shelter”
“Tornado warning in effect until …”

Four drinks
1. Take four drinks if Ranger 9 must land to refuel.
2. Take four drinks if Gary issues his own tornado warning, not recognized by the NWS or says the following:
“Will someone please answer that phone?” | “Do you see power flashes?”
3. Take four drinks if a shirt-less tornado victim is interviewed.

Finish your drink
1. Finish your drink if someone uses the word tornado as a verb or if Gary mentions the nearest cross streets to you.
If Gary says “We’ve lost Val,” pour a little out for your homies and finish your drink.

If and when a tornado does hit in your immediate vicinity you are most likely going to be so dog-gone drunk you won’t notice it anyway.  Wonder if Parker Bros. would be interested in something like this?


Kudo’s to James our local correspondent in Wayne, Oklahoma for the game.

Red Alert!


Two things in life that really bug me.  Car dealers who constantly, year after year, get “overstocked.”  You would think after a reasonable amount of time, say a couple of years, they would figure it out.


The other thing that gets me is politics.  It never ends, leadership you can trust (Uh huh sure), more money for you in your paycheck (Like that dog is gonna hunt), better schools for your children (If you live in say Afghanistan or some other God forsaken hole), bring integrity back to Government (still working down at the plant?  Still have your home?).

National politics is a circus, full of boring clowns which is constantly changing.

The thing that strikes me is we seem to be developing a breed of “cookie cutter politicians” who all talk the same, look the same, and spew out the same bile year after year.  People who know how to kiss a baby and make it look like fun, never say the wrong thing.  This year we have two women running for the office of Governor, which is fine I guess.  They are going to clean up education, take care of the illegals, restore confidence in our broke down system.

Sounds great … should work … until they see a spider, then what?

Been workin’ on my short list of things I need to do.  Need to learn how to post a video, been thinking about learning how to do that here lately.  I am an old dog, and teaching an old dog new tricks gets kind touchy and I of course get cranky at times.  (One of the benefits of aging, you no longer have to pretend you know it all, and you don’t have to be nice to people if you do not want to be.  Now what did I do with that bottle of Metamucil?)  My grandchildren are 450 miles away in Houston, Texas, so they cannot help me out.  So posting a video?  Is that hard, or labor intensive?

Our operators are standing by for your call.

Kids are hip to all this new age stuff, us old duffers, we just muddle our way thru it.  One of the things I have been noticing about young people here lately, a lot of their web pages have “dark backgrounds” which makes it appear sinister to me and of course, it makes it hard for an old coot to read.

Just thought I would run that one up the old flagpole and see if I could find anyone who would stand up and salute it.

Called the telephone company this past week, I was kind of curious as to why they keep droppin me when I am using the ##@#!! thing.  They told me that it was because everyone is purchasing this new Apple I Phone and sending all of this garbage over the airwaves, which in turn overloads the system.  Until they get the system updated, it is not going to improve.  Here is a novel idea, put a moratorium on Apple I Phones until the system is updated, you seem to be (ahem) overstocked.

Surfing the net you find some of the strangest stuff.  People are now getting so lazy they don’t even try to quote the author.  Found this one this morning:  “Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow. — Some dude.”  (Most likely this person didn’t have his science project done on time, or evidently, the dog ate his/her homework)

Channel Five, another brain dead eye witness report.

When asked about an apparent attempt at a house repair scam the homeowner retorted  … “I mean I immediately went on RED ALERT!”  Which I find somewhat amusing, what is RED ALERT and who is it that offcially orders it?  “I just knew something was up, when he told his helper to run out to the truck and fetch me some more zero’s for this here estimate.”  I am pretty sure that is the point he thought about a RED ALERT.

Which when you think about it, might be a good thing.  Just what the world needs on a slow day in Okie-Homa … More Lerts!

Most people driving or walking down the street and came across a Red Alert, would turn to their respective life partner and ask “What the _____ is that?  You ever see one of them before?”  At my age, I am not immediately going to red anything … Unless I am absolutely sure I know what it is.

LIVE … LOCAL … LATE BREAKING … I am not impressed.

If you think there might be a mental deficit running rampant here, check out what some dumb judge in New York pulled recently.  A Four-year old sued for negligence I mean it has to be true, I read it on the Internet.  What ever happened to good old common sense in this country?

Gotta go, I hear my cellphone ringing, it might be the telephone company placing me on Red Alert.