Lost In Washington

It always amazed me how George Hubert Walker Bush, who only served one term in the Presidency of the United States could get Barbara’s picture on a dollar bill.  Now along comes George Dubya Bush and he has his picture on a dollar too.

Received a smattering of emails over the weekend from people wanting me to lay off Bush and the State of Texas in general. (Yeah, like that dog is gonna hunt?)  So if you are wondering if the “Tag Feature” of WordPress.com is working, well it is doing just fine. Also, I dutifully filed most all of them under the big “Red X” in the upper left hand quadrant of my mailbox.

As for Bush?

Now, as he spends his last months in office trying to avert a global economic collapse, Mr. Bush has been telling people privately that it’s a good thing he’s in charge. He said that if it was going to happen at all, he was glad it was happening under his presidency, because he had a good group of people in D.C. working for him. 

Perhaps those that live south of the Red River have a different meaning to this term. Surrounded by “competent good people.” Which mainly consists of educated, well paid baby killers, private company mercenaries (overseas) and a covert 24 hour a day staff of paper and document shredders.

Bush also said that whoever was going to take over in January was going to have a huge crisis on their hands the day they come into office. Which is more than likely, the biggest political gaff of the year. The only thing that I could possibly think of more absurd than this is “Read My Lips … No New Taxes.”

I believe that is a Bushism too if I am not correct?

Dubya later said when regaining consciousness that he thought by this happening now, that perhaps everyone could see signs of improvement before the next president comes into office.

That is, if the lights are still on …

Read the whole story here.

Don’t you just love it when they look into the old teleprompter with that deer in the headlight look, and explain to you how everything is just going to be swell in River City.  Now when you spin it that way, well, it just sounds a lot better doesn’t it?

Let me try it …. Bubonic Financial Plague … Yeah, that works just fine.

And I’ll lay you six to five, Ol’ Ben is rolling over in his grave.


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Talkin’ The Talk

"Yeah no joke, it was there one minute and then whoosh it was gone!"

“Yeah no joke, it was there one minute, and then whoosh, it was all gone!”

Turned on the television and there was my favorite Texas Waddie explaining to the American people the current economic mess we seem to find ourselves immersed in. “We currently have a shortage of some $2.5 trillion dollars in the Wall Street Market, and gosh, uh gee whill-ickers, we just don’t know where it went?”

It is not easy being the President of Ameri-kuh. Once again … Proof positive, you can take the boy out of the country, but you cannot take the country out of the boy.

Where he gets this stuff is anyone’s guess. It reminds me of the story where the old man and woman are sitting in the kitchen and the kid comes home from college for the holidays. The old man looks at the boy and says, “Son, give me and your mama some of the benefits of that there Kollege edumaycayshun you been getting.”

So the boy thinks a little bit and then replies, “Eisenstein is quoted as saying pi is square.” The old man looks at the woman and says, “See, I told you it was a waste of time sending him to kollege, corn bread are square … pie is round!”

Education has taken a backseat to a lot of things in this country. It doesn’t seem all that important, and this will come back to haunt us, it is a tragic mistake.

Not long ago, someone sponsored a bill to make English the national language in this country, but it didn’t make it thru Congress. Recently in Oklahoma and several other states similar legislation was attempted and failed, trying to accomplish the very same goal.

Then later on, someone in Oakland, California suggested that “Ebonics” might be good for grade school children, which was a street based version of slang communication. It is currently being used quite a bit on Rap CD’s, Hip-Hop music and has enjoyed wide circulation on MTV.

Me?

I just butcher it up to the best of my abilities and keep right on trucking most of the time. English, I confess, has not always been my strongest suite. Communication is my strongest attribute, I am a pretty good story teller and I use any and all forms to do this in an effective manner.

And then you come across the people who just flat out, do not know how to put it (the language) to good use and effectively communicate in our culture. Here is a prime example that I found this morning surfing the net:

“What is your education for, anyway?” blogging on this site is wreched ok so i have tried to post like 2 time already(that would make this my third attempt) and i’m just going to throw this out there i don’t get blogging. like it doesn’t make sence why cant we all get together and have a conversation, or atleast chat over scype…i understand that this has the advantage of anyone being able to chime in at an time but i can never rember to come on and then when i do it like never gets posted!!!! AHHH

This (the text above) was lifted in its entirety and has not been corrected. I like the header … “What is your education for, anyway?”Uh … Better living thru chemistry?

It is also pretty frightening when you stop to consider it was written (according to the blog author) on a college students’ site. Unfortunately, he is not the exception to the rule, but more so, the norm in this country.

It is no wonder that this country is slowly going to hell in a hand basket.

Seven out of ten sixth-graders believe Pearl Harbor was some woman who used to sing country music tunes. They know who “Beavis & Butt-head” are, but cannot identify the Vice President of the United States, tell you the capitol of Kansas, really don’t know ho to make change for a twenty, other than from your hand to theirs and that is about it.

Recently I read a survey that said 63% of high school seniors move their lips when they read and this I suppose the survey doesn’t even include the ones who cannot read a lick to begin with. Our kids are in the fast lane to Moronville because there is not enough discipline in the classrooms.

Remember those late, great school house days of yesteryear, when hard-a** teachers would slap the fire out of a kid just for the fun of it. Some would say that is what we need more of today. I am not all that big on discipline, having received my fair share of it as a child. But we do need one thing for sure:

What we need is compulsory learning AND discipline.

When all those bleeding-heart liberals banned paddles from the classroom, we might as well have locked the school house doors. When you can get 75 days in the county jail for spanking your own kid for skipping school, then you might as well hang it up. Maybe we need to get back to the “Old Days” for a brief period, and make a necessary course correction for our country.

This why we end up with college students who write:

“Who needs school? Why reads a book, when you can see the movie, stay in an plays Nintendo. Why graduate, when you can sell crack and ride in’s a limo?”

And a sitting Lame Duck U.S. President that says:

Reading is the basics for all learning. Put food on your family. The senator cannot have it both ways. He can’t take the high horse and then claim the low road. Never squat down with your spurs on.”

Not being an expert in language like I said, I don’t believe the above is exactly correct, politically speaking or otherwise.

Two Point Five Trillion dollars  … That is a lot of bucks, wonder where it went?  C’mon Dubyah, give us some good news, tell us something we don’t know.

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Related: The Old Days

Parting shot: “It is important for parents to live the same things they teach.”

Eight Simple Reasons

Today is 08-08-08 did you ever, in your wildest dreams, ever think that you would live that long to see that? I didn’t. So what do we do on this day of eights?

I know … Here are five lists of eight things.

Vegetables in V-8 Juice (Hey, it has been a long week, bear with me) Tomatoes, celery, carrots, lettuce, watercress, beets, parsley, spinach.

Parts of speech. Noun, verb, adjective, adverb, pronoun, preposition, conjunction, interjection. Mrs. McGee would be so proud of me, unfortunately I can remember them, but seldom apply them in the proper fashion.

Former Olympic Sports. Tug-of-war, golf, rugby, croquet, polo, lacrosse, power boating, waterskiing.

Kids in Eight Is Enough. Mary, David, Joanie, Nancy, Elizabeth, Susan, Tommy, Nicholas.

Eight reasons why we will not have sex over the weekend. I am not in the mood. The kids will hear us. I have a headache. I really don’t feel romantic right now. I am retaining water. You haven’t called me in a long time. This is not a good time. I am not your wife!

Okay we have established the “theme” for the post today ….. We have? Yes. It is things that have something to do with the number five or the number eight (I am not sure right now, please stick with me).

We could talk about the economy, which by definition is not all that good, as a matter of fact. “You have to work like a dog, just to live like one now.” So this Friday, the economy is reeling, that is a given. How about the $482 billion budget deficit that is projected, because we all got a “stimulus check” (Washington’s latest excuse .. WE are the problem.).

Foreclosure rates are at an all time high, it is now projected that somewhere down the line, because people are moving from the suburbs, back into the city, that there will be a surplus of 22 million homes in this country. Which is a good deal, because that is about the same amount of illegals currently living here, so everyone is a winner in the end. We all have a home, we all live under one big Burrito and life moves on. Everyone except you, the taxpayer that is. ( Yeah I know, don’t send me any letters)

Just think about all those inner city predators, lurking in the shadows eagerly anticipating your return, the crack-heads that will break into your apartment while you are work to pillage and relieve you of your stuff, the inner city criminally insane who will accost you at each crosswalk and stoplight, badgering you for a quarter.

Who says life in America is boring and mundane anymore, that our future is not so promising.

I am now going back to my new hobby. I am studying ducks. Yeah no joke. I watch the ducks downtown, ride the city bus down there, take a bag of popcorn with me. I am curious as to whether or not their “speech” is different from the ducks down at the lake, which are for the most part wild.

So I study the ducks downtown during the week, and the ducks at the lake on the weekend.

I have found that the ducks downtown are louder and they are noisier, they laugh raucously and shake their tail quite a bit. The ducks out at the lake are mellower, kind of chilled out. They don’t have to be as loud as the downtown ducks, not as much noise out at the lake.

Then there is my favorite “lame duck” he is over in China right now, but had to make a stop in another country first to give a short speech on Amerukuh and make us some new friends with the Chinese. Who promptly issued a press release that said “Ah Shaddup! Mind your own business.”

(Which of course is something a politician cannot relate to in any way shape, form or manner.)

B’sides, China has 253 million citizens with Internet Access and we have only 223.1 million. If all of them start complaining at once about this Texas Waddie that doesn’t know when to shut up, it will clog up the system, where no one will be able to get on.

Then what?

It is fairly evident that Mr. Bush doesn’t even have a clue as to who he is dealing with or insulting these days China is a force to be reckoned with.  So as you can readily see, it is not always all eights and fives, and all ducks are not the same …… Regardless of party.

Have a good weekend.

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