Sitting here this morning as is my usual practice, sipping on my cup of coffee and contemplating the issues of the day, impotent stuff, stuff I is supposed to know.
Often it is a heavy issue of “soft power” what Mr. Obama plans to use when he affects America’s foreign policy and whether or not Bill Clinton will be an asset or a detriment (You do know, if you get Hillary, you gonna get Bill too. You do know that dont’cha?) Often I will think about other important issues too.
Like why do we have eyebrows?
The peradventure word, do we need this word? The evidence establishes beyond peradventure that the Grinch masterminded a highly organized and intricate plot to steal Christmas. Where does that one missing sock go when you empty the laundry basket, it is NOT in the bottom of the washer.
Important issues early in the morning.
A New York jury has awarded $4.5 million to a city detective who fell off his chair and shot himself in the knee. He consequently retired on a disability pension because of the accident, he was only 49 years old. The jury ruled that he deserved extra compensation for his pain and the end of his career and the end of his stint as an “amateur weekend warrior athlete” (don’t ask me, I don’t have a clue either?) They gave him the money because they said he was “just a poor unfortunate guy who happened to lean back in a defective chair.” Man, are you kidding me?
No Visible Means Of Support
Atheists are suing Kentucky’s Office of Homeland Security for thanking “almighty God” for protecting the sate from terrorists. Ten secular Kentuckians charge that a law requires the office to show its gratitude to God is “breathtakingly unconstitutional.” They say that they have too suffered anxiety form realizing that “their very safety as residents of Kentucky may be in the hands of fanatics, traitors or fools.” Welcome to the “real world” folks, the rest of us been dealing with these bozo’s a long time before you decided to sue them.
Be All You Can Be … Maybe You Will Live
More cannon fodder for the Emperor of Democracy. Nothing brings out the best for Army recruiters than a recession, for the first time in recent history, the Army was able to realize recruitment goals and some 80,000 boys & girls signed up to serve.
More employment news. Nearly 300,000 people have signed up or applied for the approximately 7,000 available jobs in the new Obama administration. That means that one out of every 42,000 applicants will be accepted, hey, that is almost as good as the Lottery.
No Room At The Inn
Hotels in Washington DC are rapidly filling up for the Barack Obama Jan inauguration, area college students have been renting out their dorm rooms for anywhere from $500 a night all the way up to $1500.
Been There … Done That …. Got The T-Shirt
Obama memorabilia continues to set all time records, if it has Obama on it, it will sell. Presidential plates, coins, t-shirts, you name it and it is going fast. Consumers have already spent an estimated $200 million on Barack Obama merchandise, with another splurge expected around the inauguration. The items being marketed with Obama’s likeness include mugs, stationary, posters, aprons, coasters, dog jerseys, and mouse pads. Dog Jerseys? Ah c’mon.
The Check Isn’t In The Mail
The Donald (Mr. Trump) has missed his interest note payment on a $53 million in bonds this week, throwing the company’s survival into question. So it appears that all of this is kind of trickling down, even the super rich are now feeling the crunch. The Donald has done this before, this is not his first rodeo when it comes to bankruptcy.
Happens to all of us sooner or later I guess, all of us power-broker A-Types we have our problems. Did I ever tell you about the time me and the cable company we went head to head on this … Oh I did, sorry.
When a preachers car broke down, he walked into a neighborhood bar to use the pay phone in order to call a tow truck. At the bar, was his friend, Frank, drunk and shabbily dressed. “What happened to you, Frank?” asked the good reverend. “You used to be rich.”
Frank then unloaded his sad tale of woe, and told of bad investments in the real estate market, his shares evaporating on the New York Stock Market, his Wall Street losses. The preacher listened intently to his story and at conclusion said to Frank, “I want you to go home, sober up, open up your Bible and you will find God’s answer there.”
So Frank agreed, and left the bar. Some time later, the preacher bumped into Frank, who was wearing Gucci Shoes, sporting a new Rolex watch, and had just stepped out of a brand new Mercedes. “Frank” said the preacher, “I am so glad to see things really turned around for you.”
“Yes preacher, I owe it all to you” said Frank. “I did as you said, I went home, I sobered up, made some coffee, sat down with my bible. And just as you said, the answer was there.”
The preacher being curious inquired, “Oh, and how was that.” His friend replied, “I just sat down, grabbed my bible, and opened it up and there was the answer … Chapter 11.”
So there you go, answers to absorbing questions of the day.
One last thing. Underneath the eyebrow is a bump, and if it’s hit with something, the eyebrow cushions the blow. It is believe that early humans actually had thicker eyebrows, which provided more padding.
“This is always handy when you come up with your hand at a rapid rate of speed, and smack yourself on the forehead, and then exclaim …. We can just bail out everybody! Why didn’t I think of that?”
That … Boys & Girls … is why we have eyebrows and of course, the stock market.