Litin’ Up

My website grader says I have too many pictures on my site, it will slow down the process of loading, and therefore, it is not a good idea.  I say “be patient” it is worth the wait, besides, I like the pictures.

It’s that time of year once again: The summer sun has slipped away, brittle leaves waltz, and winter waits to cloak us in its dark, cold hood.  The wind across the American Prairie has picked up and is tearing at the corner of your eye, parts of Amarillo blow into town every other day, and you just know, winter cannot be far away.

The easy days of light and freedom are behind us, and now we gather ’round for a season of more serious celebrations — our yearly time to burrow in, reconnect, contemplate. and of course, lite the heater, man I just love the smell of burnt rust filling the home.

Nothing says change of season better than the smell of burnt rust, and of course, the sound of Christmas Music playing in the local stores.

No Confidence.

Sarah Palin’s Alaskan paper has endorsed Obammer for President, how embarrassing is that? You cannot even muster up enough support in your home state for a vote of confidence. Fact of life, in medieval times, Europeans burned witches at the stake, and the families had to pay for the firewood. Now days we take them to Neiman Marcus in Dallas, spend a couple of hundred grand on them and elect them to office.

Eight more days and then all the serf’s can go down to register their protest and vote in the next king for the kingdom. It has deteriorated so badly we are now electing people who will not furnish proof of citizenship to the highest office in the land.

Don’t Vote For Anyone.

One stronghold of “common sense” has been located over the weekend.  In Wisconsin.  Madison, the state’s largest farm lobby won’t endorse anyone for president. The 42,000-member Wisconsin Farm Bureau Federation’s lobbyist, Paul Zimmerman, said the decision was based on members’ mixed reactions to its endorsement of George W. Bush in 2004 – the first time the group made such a move. Just when you were thoroughly convinced that the voting populace had lost their collective minds, a ray of hope appears on the horizon.

Monkey See Monkey Do.

The popularity of Joe The Plumber has finally been noticed by the Barack Obamma people and now they are going to put their own spin on it with, they are going to feature their own personalities in commercials, Joe The Mobster, Jeremiah The American Hating Preacher.  Watch for it on a station near you.  Fidel Castro has endorsed Obammer for President, afterwards Obammer just shrugged it off and said “that he was just some guy who lived in the neighborhood.” So much for the “Messiah News.” … The Second Return of JC. (Second Return of Jimmy Carter)

Getting Out The Vote.

Washington state sent 24,000 ballots to felons who were not allowed to vote, and apparently sent these same felons, invitations to Obammers inauguration as well.  In a recent poll, McSame leads Obammer some 9% with people who display the American Flag.  But on the same token, Obammer does lead McSame by people who burn the American flag.  A group of lawyers has successfully blocked the release of the movie “Hanoi Hilton” until after the election.  We surely do not want Hollywood trying to influence an election not in this day and age.

What’s Your Problem.

Best Buy evidently has put out a new logo which will accurately help to improve the company’s surly image.  It is a picture of a teenager rolling his eyes and looking towards the ceiling when a customer asks him …. “Can you tell me where the DVD’s are?”

Cough it up

Panhandlers in an eastern Tennessee city (Chattanooga) pay fines and court costs at a low rate, with about 3% in the last 18 months.  Apparently the street beggars in that city are somewhat reluctant to pay their fines.  The Chattanooga Times Free Press reported Sunday Chattanooga City Court has collected only $279.75 of the $8,958.75 of the fines and court costs levied since the City Council expanded downtown’s no-panhandling zone in May 2007.  The paper reported, there’s essentially nothing the city can do to force the payments or punish non-payers more severely.

Let’s see, your employer laid you off, your 401K vaporized, you lost your home and now you are living on the street, under an overpass, in a comfortable cardboard appliance carton, and all of your belongings are in a shoppin’ cart.  How could they possibly punish you any more?

Dressed in red, white and blue, drag queen Gina Maseratti walked down Southard Street in Key West asking Fantasy Fest revelers for their support: `Vote for Maseratti, your next president.” What’s her platform? ”High heels,” she said. `It’s all about the shoes.”

On a more serious note, Maseratti explained: `I’m a member of the Drag party: Drastic Reform of American Government. I’ll save you on money because I can be president, vice president and First Lady all in one.”

Do You Want A Bong With That? Rocky Mountain High.

A Lakewood couple found a small bag of marijuana in a bag of food picked up at the drive-in of a Del Taco Restaurant.  Twenty-six-year-old Dennis Klermund, who police say waited on the husband who stopped at the restaurant Oct. 16, faces possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Steve Davis on Saturday said the couple called police after discovering the bag with their food order.

An officer said Klermund initially denied any knowledge but when a search dog found the drug in a locker, admitted the baggie was meant for a friend. Restaurant Ulises Montero said Klermund no longer works there. A message left for Klermund was not immediately returned.

The best for last.

Joe Scarborough, a commentator for MSNBC, failed to check his facts when he reported that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had advocated destroying the moon. Scarborough quoted Schwarzenegger as saying, “If we get rid of the moon, women … those menstrual cycles are governed by the moon … will not get PMS. They will stop whining.”

Scarborough then chided Schwarzenegger for insensitivity, saying: “I don’t know how it works in Austria, but let me tell you something, friend. Jokes about such matters are not laughing subjects to women in America.”

It turned out however, that the statement was not being made by Schwarzenegger but rather by an impersonator who appeared on the Howard Stern Radio Show. Eleven days later, Scarborough apologized to viewers for “my terrible mistake. Anyone who relies on the Howard Stern show for information is an idiot; you would be better off sticking with Email.

000

Wednesday In A Nutshell

Watching the fabric of society and I suppose democracy, unravel is a scary thing. I have a question. “Where are those deep pockets of sanity in America, where people live “normally” and are immune to this apparent political madness?”

The wife and I would like to move there. Somewhere that is devoid of “political handlers” who feel they need to govern and control every damn aspect of my life.

The more I dig into all of this, the less I like it. Sarah Palin may not have known what the Bush Doctrine was, but we’re getting a pretty good idea of what the Palin Doctrine is. According to London‘s Daily Telegraph, the architects of the Palin Doctrine are a group of people who have been singularly wrong about virtually everything in the last decade — the neocons, who have been briefing Palin for weeks.

She’s perfect for the neocons: likable on the outside, a blank slate on the inside. They first fell in love with her in 2007, during a Weekly Standard-sponsored cruise. So nice to meet you, Governor. And don’t forget, Mai Tais and preemptive invasions on the Lido Deck at four!

Click here to read more.

More collateral damage: Today, McCain economic adviser Carly Fiorina bluntly stated that neither John McCain nor Sarah Palin were capable of running a major corporation (she said the same of Barack Obama and Joseph Biden). A top campaign adviser said Fiorina will be punished for her candid sentiments:

Don’t rattle the bars of the beast, it is not healthy.

“Carly will now disappear,” this source said. “Senator McCain was furious.” Asked to define “disappear,” this source said, adding that she would be off TV for a while – but remain at the Republican National Committee and keep her role as head of the party’s joint fundraising committee with the McCain campaign. Fiorina was booked for several TV interviews over the next few days, including one on CNN.

Those interviews have been canceled.

McSame says the economy is basically sound and there isn’t much to be concerned about.  One more domino fell yesterday, and Wall Street Companies continue to fold like a cheap suits. Should the average person do anything differently in light of what’s happening on Wall Street right now? Should they try to pay off their credit cards now? Should they pull money out of stocks, put them into bonds? Should our day-to-day activities change?”

Well, I think you should pray a lot more.

Wednesday, Obammer the pessimist sees only the dark side of the cloud, and mopes; Soccer Mom a philospher sees both sides, shrugs; and McSame doesn’t see the clouds at all … He is too busy walking on them.  Here it is, almost two weeks into the fray, and we are still grousing about lipstick and farm animals.

Yesterday I paid $83 for a tank of gasoline and it was ON SALE.

<> <> <>

On the eve of our impending anniversary of six months of this particular written insanity (tomorrow is the anniversary for Creative Endeavors) we make this pledge. We will somehow endure when all of what we hold so dear is crumbling about us. Please take solace that we will continue our search to do nothing about anything, any time soon.

We are just like them … Except we don’t hold conventions.

Also, we pledge that we will never at any time soon or in the distant future, notify you that this site will be updated. It is our policy to never purge erroneous information that you just happen to like or seek out on a daily basis. We will instead give you even more inane tripe about good relations with your neighbors, the Republican/Democratic parties, with glaring misspellings or broken links when we feel like it.  No part of our new site will ever contain “the latest news” about anything. Not even this pledge will be updated.

We cross our hearts and hope to die.

Change is about the only constant in the Universe. So, that being the case, we here at the new Information Capital of the Free World, felt it important for you to have a place where you could go to find exactly what you to expect to find – the same each, and everyday. No fancy databases or stock tickers, no bells and whistles,. Just our latest version of neglect on a profound scale and of course, “our sampling of the news” for you to consume.

So, bookmark this page. (Use the Ctrl+D key or something like that) and if conditions ever change, rest assured, we will not bother you with any kind of update. Visit this site often. No, not for updates. But rather, for a sense of safety and familiarity, and when you least expect it.

Wham! It will be much different.

No real news. But you can receive a semi literate Ann Landers-Paul Harvey-God Forbid-Geraldo style of journalism, or some other half-baked nitwit to help you thru your day. And it is all free … You simply cannot get a better deal that that.

Wednesday in a nut-shell.

000


The Silly Season … Beyond Stupid


55 more days!  If I get one more Email on Sarah Super Mom or hear one more soundbite on “Lipstick and Farm Animals” I believe I will just go join the French Foreign Legion or some other sane organization.

Here is one for you boys …

“You can try and teach a pig to sing,

but it won’t work and all it does is irritate the pig.”

Now I understand that Obammer is losing in the polls because of all this nonsense and refusing to stick to the issues.  He is so desperate now that he has called in new workers to help out with his staff.

They Should Be Here By Mid October

They Should Be Here By Mid October

What do you get if you cross-breed a goat and a politician?

You get a “Weed eater that will not work.”