Email Of The Week (0301)

Found this in my mailbox the other day and thought I might share it with you.

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.  To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase about 10%.

But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.  This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.

I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this . They voted for change… I gave it to them.  I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic …….

Not that I am a big fan of Obama, but there is a better letter.  (There is always a better letter)

Frank walked into his new office, just as the current owner was vacating it.  He exchanged pleasantries with the unlucky fellow who has just been canned and wished him well.  The poor guy who was being fired, handed him three envelopes and said to him, “You are going to need these.  Put them in your desk until the appropriate time.”  

And then he left.

Frank placed the three envelopes in his desk and gave them little thought.  Time went by and things did not go so well for Frank in the new position, and soon the boss called him to the office.  Frank sat there and sweated, he was anxious, he was worried, what could it be?  

At that time he remembered the envelopes.

He opened the drawer and pulled them out.  They were labeled one, two and three.  He put two and three back in the drawer and quickly opened envelope #1.  There he found a slip of paper and written on it he saw ….. “Blame it on the economy.”

So when he went to the office to see the boss, that is what he did, he blamed everything on the rotten economy and slow business.  The boss seemed okay with that, and he went back to his assigned duties.  A little time goes by and then again, the dreaded phone call and the mandatory trip to the bosses office and the “how come chair?”

Again Frank reaches into the drawer and hastily grabs envelope #2, he rips it open, this time he discovers a slip of paper that reads …. “Blame it on the employee’s.”  So this time, he laid it all on the employee’s and that seemed to satisfy his boss and things again, returned to normal.

Now if you are following the story, then you know that all this time things have been going downhill and of course, it erodes to a point where Frank gets called to the office.  Quickly he reaches into his desk drawer to fetch the last envelope, #3 and just as quickly, rips it open, he unfolds the piece of paper and it reads … “Prepare three envelopes.”

Everyone has a story … Try this,

Walking Ten Miles

just to interview for a job.

Have a great weekend, we will see all of you on Monday.

OOO

Here is what folks have been reading this week at Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
A New Look  
Clear Blue Sky  
The Worry Tree  
Once Upon A Time There Was A Father  
Take Your Pick  
Swimming Alone  
12 Days Of Christmas (audio)  
Munday-Munday

MADE IN AMERICA

Out of work?  Need a job?

No small wonder, when you stop to look around at what is going down in this country.  We spend it everywhere but here at home, we talk about improving our lot, then they step out and buy it from Brazil or some other place.  You want a job, then start buying American goods, it is just that simple.

Don’t believe the hype when these people (the pecker-heads in Washington and on Wall Street) tell you it cannot be done in a Global Economy, that we have to outsource everything, because of high labor costs in this country and a host of other excuses … Don’t buy into it.  It can be done … And it can be done right here at home.


It is time to step up to the plate and take back what the Chinese and the Mexicans have stolen from us with their slave labor and cheap inferior priced items.

Here is a video that is very interesting.

Watch it & then forward it along. 

(Please stick with it to the end before you go to Home Depot or Lowes.)

Click here for Made In America

OOO

Too Ambitious

Strong powers of concentration.

New York Public Library officials announced that viewing Internet porn on library computers is a constitutional right and is protected by the First Amendment.  Even they say “if the groaning disturbs other patrons in the library”

In other words, you can watch whatever you want in the New York Public Library.

Have you ever wondered which state has the highest subscription rate to online porn?  (I am sure this is a popular topic around the water cooler on Monday mornings … “Say Stan, have you noticed all the body hair is now gone?”)  Believe it or not, the state with the highest number of porn subscriptions is Utah, the home of Orrin Hatch that marvelous guy in Washington who hates just about everything across the board.

So sneaky readers or perverse consumers of evil … Word of caution.

In Oklahoma, if caught, you will immediately be taken to a fresh plowed field of winter wheat, stripped, laid down, your butt tickled with a fresh cut barley weed and then summarily whipped with a half-limp-wet noodle.  “We don’t put up with that kind of ____ around here” was the exact quote I believe.  There is even more, we don’t seem to have much tolerance for the things of life in Oklahoma.  Here are few.

So be advised, use a little common sense for cryin’ out loud!  If you are posting this kind of naked-body-hairless stuff on your phone or webpage (sexting) always wear the monkey mask, that should give you some kind of protection and keep your identity safe (anon).

Don't do this at the library

Flying Jackie Chan

Hong Kong Airlines announced it is requiring its flight attendants to learn Wing-Chug a form of Kung Fu, to subdue unruly passengers.  “In the event” you have too many cocktails, they are instructed to slap your sorry butt back into your seat and immediately end your Barry Manilow karaoke session in business class post-haste.  Thank you for choosing Hong Kong Airlines.

Taxes …. Should the rich pay more?

Here is my take on it.  No.  If I can figure it out, you would think they could.  Believe it or not, the top 1% are paying 32% of the load.  Calling for more ruinous taxes on workers and success, destroys “the fundamental promise of America” itself.  My biggest fear, my #1 nightmare I could think of is “outliving my income” now that would be nasty.  It used to be walking in the dark, nude, and then backing into a buttered doorknob.

It must be true, I read it on the Internet.

The penguin keeper at a zoo in Germany had to stop wearing his favorite black and white rubber boots after a male penguin fell in love with them.  The penguin, known as Bonaparte, has been obsessed with his keeper’s boots since the start of mating season, evidently mistaking them for a female.

He would nuzzle them passionately and the keeper had to switch to blue colored boots until Bonaparte finds a flesh and blood mate.  Penguins are monogamous in nature, so it was the safe thing to do, switch boots, so he could move on.  I had the same problem with a guy I met on the beach in San Francisco the summer of 2006 while on vacation.

Where Are The Jobs?

This morning I am reading of a girl in LA who submitted 15 resumes last week and no replies.  Then when she signs up for unemployment they tell her she is “overly ambitious” because she wants to work at anything … even min. wage … she is told she is “overqualified” with a college education.  All this New World Global Economy stuff has me really concerned.  Our priorities are all wrong.  Kind of strange when you stop and think about all this non-sense or non-action going on right now concerning the unemployed and the down and out.

If nine fully loaded jumbo Jets crashed every year, something would be done about it.  Every year more than 4,000 teenagers die in car crashes.  We send children to bed hungry every night in this country, one in five Americans is now on food stamps.  We build roads and bridges in countries where most people ride a donkey to town and you cannot locate this place on a map or globe on any given day.  Still no one can find work.

Here is a novel idea:

Upgrade our nation’s roads, bridges, and other basic infrastructure:

18,000 new jobs for every $1 billion invested.

We need to tell our friends in Washington (what few we have left) that coming together is a beginning.  Keeping together is progress.  Working together is Success.  Try and remember that boys N girls, the next time you draft all this mind numbing legislation that frankly is getting us nowhere.

Year after year these clowns do this to us and WE allow it.  Sure makes a guy wonder why he even bothers to vote.

And if you vote for me …… Uh huh, sure.

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress

Armed and Dangerous

I have a friend, Rita she is great, but she is kind of a feminist in her nature.  If you see a woman driving a dump truck for instance (not a common everyday sort of occurrence) and you make casual mention of it, my friend, will launch into this song and dance routine she has … “Anything YOU can do, WE can do better … naner, naner, naner” and so on.

Sometimes spending quality time with an extroverted feminist is not an easy thing to do.

Which brings me to Victoria Cowie who will almost always be the smartest person in the room,  She is an 11 year old from England, who they say was extraordinarily bright from an early age, starting out by reading elementary school books as a toddler.  Recently she shocked everyone when she scored 162 on an IQ test.

This number surpasses such notables such as Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, and Stephen Hawking.

Incidentally, I took a IQ test once, confident I was a lot smarter than I actually was, I quickly found out I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.  Freely I admit, this set me back a little bit, but I eventually got over it.  (No, I will not give you the number)

Back to Victoria I digress.

She said that it was quite daunting to be compared to great minds, but it feels good also to be thought of as that clever.  She says that she really enjoys science and doing experiments, loves acting and dancing and playing musical instruments.  She does theater workshops and loads of sports, really likes swimming.  She aspires to be a vet when she gets older because of her love of animals and she readily admits that she is not afraid of blood.

All that and she is only 11 years old.  When I was 11 it was a major undertaking by BOTH of my parents just to get me to clean up my room.

What else do I have for all of you this morning?  Oh yeah, I liked this one.  Another winner gone bad.  Bad week for former Survivor winner Richard Hatch who turned himself in to federal marshals this week to begin serving a 9 month prison sentence for failing to pay taxes on the $1 million he won on the reality show.

Hatch, has already spent three years behind bars for tax evasion, and is said to currently owe the IRS some $2 million in back taxes.  Now that would be kind of bad, go to prison as an avowed homosexual and have a name like Dick Hatch.

That is kind of scary.

Right where they want you.  You ever wonder why U.S. Corporations are not hiring?  Actually, many of them are.  They’re just not hiring Americans.  In the two years after the Wall Street meltdown triggered the Great Recession, large American corporations slashed payrolls by a net 500,000.  At the same time, they hired 729,000 workers overseas.  As globalization transforms the world economy, in fact, many U.S. companies are shifting the balance of their workforces overseas.

Ford for example reported in 1992 that 53% of its employees worked in the U.S. and Canada.  By 2009, it North American workforce made up only 37% after expanding to Mexico.  There is no such thing as job security in this country now.  We keep buying their cheap crap made oversea’s and they keep taking our jobs.  The old shooting yourself in the foot strategy is now being applied.  Things are no longer peachy and keen in the Heartland.

On top of all this, when you are replaced, the American company brings in the new foreign new-hires and expects YOU to train them (your replacements) and if you do not, they withhold your severance payments.  Is this a great country or what?  Now tell me again, how it is, that you believe Unions are no longer viable in this country.

Here is why it works.

Moving the jobs oversea’s not only saves on labor costs, which are noticibly down, but it also allows American companies to skirt envioromental issues, safety and health concerns.  When Pablo cracks open a old car battery he dumps it straight on the ground, he doesn’t wear a mask, and gloves are an option, if he can afford them.  Same with the poor sap in Indonesia or Jakarta.  They take it in the shorts, and Wall Street gets richer, meanwhile the rest of you are stuck at home delivering pizza to each other.

(Guess who used to write a Union paper before he did this?)

Who let the dogs out?  Charlie Sheen doesn’t have the market covered when it comes to weird or funny.  An Oregon woman called 911 to report an intruder hiding in her bathroom, just as the intruder was calling 911 to report his concerns that the homeowner might be armed.  On 911 tapes released by police the intruder admits breaking into the home and tells the dispatcher the owner behind the bathroom door might have a gun.

He is also heard to say that the owner told him she had two German shepherds.  Later, the homeowner can be heard warning the intruder that she’s about to call the police, to which the intruder yells back, “I’ve already called them.  They’re on the phone right now!”

Now that is funny … I don’t care where you live.  Often real life is better than the sitcom.  See you on Friday, hang in there, you almost have it made.

OOO

Primary Digits

cheep-gas

The rig count in America again drops this week, we don’t have to go looking for it anymore, the price is down.  Our fuel problem has been solved, all it took was a major recession to do it. As it inches upward again, I am wondering why no one is drilling anything other than the consumer or the U.S. Taxpayer.

The Numbers Are Not Good — Sorry.

693,000 jobs were cut in December and more to come.  The U.S. Economy is now stepping into one of the worst downturns since World War II.  Lenovo, China’s biggest personal-computer maker is laying off some 2,500 people because of no demand for their product.  Unemployment here in the United States is predicted now to exceed 9.2% by 2010.  Things are so bad now, that the government announced that the “end of the world” has been postponed by at least two years, so that they can try and collect some of the $1.2 trillion that they owe on the National Debt.

Fueling the Poor

Citgo, the Venezuelan government’s U.S.-based oil subsidiary, reversed course Wednesday and said it will continue shipments of heating oil to poor families in the United States.  How sad is that, we have a foreign country, who’s dictator calls our President disparaging names and insults him in public (United Nations) supplying the fuel to heat the homes of our nation’s poor.  Chavez an outspoken critic of the U.S. has often been quoted as calling Bush “El Diablo” (the devil)

Teen Birth Rates are up

Atlanta Disease Control released a new report today that found that Mississippi “now has the nation’s highest teen pregnancy rate, displacing Texas and New Mexico for that lamentable title.” The report found that in 2006, the Mississippi teen pregnancy rate was over 60 percent higher than the national average and increased 13 percent since the year before.

Oxygen Starvation?

I understand that when you experience a heart attack, that often there is a lack of blood to the brain, and that in some cases, afterwards there is a memory loss.  Maybe this is what is the matter with the Vice President.  Dick Cheney is now claiming that he never exceeded his powers and that it is all “an urban legend.

I herby submit at this time, that the drive to select Puerto Rico as the fifty-first state be suspended.  I also propose that either the state of Texas or the State of Wyoming, be split down the middle, and then be renamed “the State Of Denial” to give all these nut jobs in Washington who seem to be out of touch with reality, a place to live and rule.  Sorry Puerto Rico.

Little Johnny is flunking out

Pittsburgh – Administrators at Pittsburgh Public Schools are defending a policy making 50% the lowest score students can receive. Since an “A” is 90% or above, a “B” is 80% to 89% and so on, administrators said allowing scores as low as zero gives an “F” too much weight. But teachers said some students won’t hand in assignments if guaranteed 50%.  When I was a kid, and I brought home an “F” it surely did carry too much weight, it was connected to the back of my dad’s hand.

The new curriculum in 2009 is as follows:

The Colonial Period – Basic thirteen colonies, first states, the common wealth.  The Civil War Period – Brother against Brother and the abolishment of Slavery.  The New Deal Period – FDR a chicken in every pot, Hoover Dam, let’s build a National Park.  The Deficit Period – The Bush years and the hallucination period of the Republican Party.

They can all activate and operate an X-box, send a text message, figure out a cellphone and its operating procedures in minutes, but they cannot read.  What is wrong with this picture?

What are you going to drink when you are thirsty?

Denver Colorado – Shell Oil filed for the first major water right on Yampa River in hopes of securing enough water for its oil shale development plans. Shell’s application seeks about 8% of the river’s peak spring flow. Shell said the water would be shipped to a reservoir for later use. Critics say extracting oil from shale uses too much water, which is in short supply.  Kind of makes you wonder what we will all be drinking when these companies get done polluting the last of the potable water.  If you don’t believe me, goggle oil sands or Frazier River Basin and look what they have done in Canada, and we are next.

Sorry … No Give Backs, they are not allowed.

Boise Idaho – The state attorney general said Gov. Otter, a Republican, cannot turn down a 3% pay raise. That means his salary bumps up to $111,989 for 2009. Otter announced last month he would reject the raise to show solidarity after ordering statewide budget cuts. Imagine that, a politician with some class.  Now he says he will donate the money to a scholarship fund.

Hard to believe isn’t it, here is a guy trying to do the right thing, and he is NOT allowed to do it.  I remember reading about people in Florida trying to give back Federal Money and they would not take it.  We have reached a point where we no longer suffer from our insanity, we are beginning to enjoy every minute of it every day.

It aint Starbucks, but it is a good close second.

Vassalboro Maine – This town’s planning board approved an application for a coffee shop with topless waitresses, despite opposition from some residents. More than 50 people showed up for the board’s meeting, and most of them voiced disapproval. Planners said Vassalboro has no ordinance to regulate businesses’ uniforms – or lack of them.  I am going out on limb here folks, but I believe I speak for true, loyal, dedicated coffee drinkers everywhere when I say “Leave Them Girls Alone.”

Something is not right with Freshwater.

Mount Vernon – An outside consultant testified that when a science teacher here was told to remove a Bible from his public school classroom, he checked out another Bible from the school library to make a statement. The consultant found that John Freshwater was insubordinate and had used a device to burn the image of a cross on a student’s arm. Freshwater is appealing his firing.

I want to believe

Greer South Carolina – More than 350 people attended a rally at a church to protest a federal judge’s order banning South Carolina from producing a religious license plate with the words “I Believe.” The Rev. Arnold Hiette said Christians have lost the right to public prayer. The plate includes a stained glass window with a cross.

Boxcars’ T-Shirt Philosophy for Life

  • So many toys …so little time.
  • Wish for peace, work for justice.
  • Never wash whites with colors, unless you are into pink underwear and T-shirts..
  • Who am I? — Why am I here? — What is my fate? — Where are the cookies?
  • I am fat, you are stupid, I can diet.

Never tell someone wearing underwear on his head, to leave the bus driver alone.

000

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

Get A Real Job

301c

This week I received a missive via email that inquired if I did this for a living?  If this was in fact, my job.  Now I know that sounds strange, but believe me, with email, as the bible sez, “all things are possible.

No I do not do this for a living.  As my wife would say … “In your dreams.”

Welcome to another “fact free” post from BoxcarOkie, consume all you want, it cannot hurt you.  If you are a little kid, on your Mom and Dad’s computer, and your parents have NOT yet told you where babies come from?  Do not under any circumstance read this, because it contains information that you and your buddies would absolutely kill for!

So thanks for the email sister, it will give me this opportunity to announce my presence with importance and authority!  This — as pathetic as it may seem — is now my career.  I truly believe that everyone should have a career.  Careers give you money and a place to go during weekdays when there is generally nothing worth watching on television.

Last winter was especially tough, and the following summer, not all that much better.  I had rooted all summer long (and a awful lot of last fall during the football season that I might possibly find me a NEW career), but it did not happen.  I basically spent each day whining , miserable week after week, because I just could not get motivated.

It was at that juncture in time I gave birth to Creative Endeavors, and this began my grand adventure in Internet space.

At one time, my chosen profession was that of a Railroad Man, an unsung hero of the American Economy, working the odd hours for the consumer.  Taking it one step further, returning home form Southeast Asia and my Senior Trip from High School, I became a lover, a fighter, a dirty old boxcar rider.

But I no longer do that.

I am now what you might consider, self employed, a fairly confident, self-assured net-communicator (man doesn’t that sound impotent or whut?) it doesn’t buy a lot of groceries and it effectively keeps me out of the beer joints and Honky Tonks as Cup Cake would say.

Each day, early in the morning I do my level best to try and express myself in a positive and healthy way (blow it out your nose Bozo … Read it again!) on the pages of Creative Endeavors.  As I am semi-retired each and everyday is mine to do with as I please, and often I choose this instead of yard work.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing lucrative about doing this.  I usually have more month than I have money, but I am not complaining, I know that one of these days my ship will come in, and it is my hope and prayer, that I am not out at the airport when this happens.

I am not stinking rich as some people have implied, but I wouldn’t mind smelling bad.

This is more or less my hobby, and I am free to devote as much time to it as I want or as little as it may require.  I try to remember the importance of getting the point across in a clear, calm, concise manner (blow it out your nose Bozo, read the post again!).  I understand that going off in a tangent is a sure way to lose readers’ attention, so I do my best to keep everything short and to the point (Not!).

Also this week, several letters of encouragement about keeping all of this “clean and free of hate speech and derogatory conversations in the comments section” was mentioned.  This is a paramount goal here, we can be assertive but often tactful as well.  A trait I borrowed from my bride.

What we post here is usually our very best effort, so understandably I find email critics a pain, we do our best to watch sentence structure, grammar, because we don’t want to come off as some backwards’ in-bred-Okie-Hick.  Nothing like a comment from some email critic telling you everything that is wrong with your stuff, and they have eight to ten errors in that.

That will make your (my) day for sure.

Enjoying a good joke as much as a fair and honest debate, the subject and discussion can often get lively and interesting.  When it gets mean spirited, obnoxious or pointless, it is gone.

What it is — is — Ordinary

Plain.

No Big Deal.

I doubt if it will ever be famous (in most definitions of the word) and that I will never get rich from doing this.  Just another wordpress blog.  Often in life I find that I am moderately successful in most everything that I try to do, and we have done well with this.

You would not believe the amount of suggestion I have received to point out that all of this is somehow valuable, and that at some point in time, I could cash it in and go off to Honduras or Belize to live in a tree house.

I have had offers, but Cup Cake draws the line at me appearing totally NAKED and says that we don’t need the money that bad.

And I suppose … You out there don’t need the pain.

Please click here for the Email of the week.

Thanx

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