Cry Me A River

Middle of the week, kind of snuck up on me again.  Already the sixth of the month, and this one appears to be another “barn burner” and well on its way.  Hold on, grab something, the ride is now underway.

It is now time to talk about everything that is fit to print, or causes fits in print, or whatever.  If you come across something that disturbs you, just hit the button and your problems are solved.

An Indiana woman is suing Carnival Cruise Lines because she got seasick on her vacation.  She alleges that due to the speed of the ship she became very sick.  She insists the sea-sickness was not her fault, saying “the ship was moving so fast that everyone on board became sick, even the workers.”

Uh huh, sure.  That dawg aint gonna hunt as they say in Atlanta.

Have to go to the store and purchase groceries today, don’t look forward to it any more.  The cost of everything has risen so quickly and money doesn’t even slow down when it gets to me.  We always have more month than we have money around here.  This month however, we had an unexpected upturn in funds in the mailbox we are a little flush in the chips, could be time to splurge and treat myself to something nice.

Might swing by Target and get me a cup of caffeine enhanced Starbucks go-go juice.  I sure don’t know what it is that they put in their coffee, but it sure “jump-starts my day” every now and then.  Santa Fe Springs, California, enjoys the world’s highest concentration of Starbucks outlets.  There are 560 Starbucks stores within 25 miles of town.

Just follow the wide-eyed, well tanned, big bosom girls, they can lead you to where the coffee pit stops might be.

Also have to pick up the Lottery Tickets, Wednesday is the day all of us suckers plunk down our hard earned cash to buy into the option (or dream ) of being rich in this country.  I don’t want to be stinkin’ rich … but I wouldn’t mind smelling bad. Only four in ten American millionaires do not feel wealthy, according to a survey of more than 1,000 millionaire households by Fidelity Investments.

To feel wealthy in America, the survey found, millionaires require $7.5 million in invest-able assets.  That is up from $5.6 million a few years back.  The median U.S. household income in 2009, in case anyone is wondering, was $49,777 which is a far cry from $7.5 million.

A craft brewery is suing Michigan’s state liquor board for denying a license to it Raging Bitch beer.  Flying Dog Brewery points out that the board previously approved its Doggie Style and In-Heat Wheat beers, and claims a free speech right for the bitch label.

The commission, however ruled that the name and depiction of an angry female dog on the bottle’s label were detrimental to the “welfare of the general public.”  All of it is kind of silly, I drink Sweet Bitch, which is a wine out of South America, all of the time.  But then again, I don’t live in Michigan (thank gawd for that).

Then again, if you are in trouble or detrimental to the “welfare of the general public.” There is hope on the horizon, all you have to be is “be famous.”  Texas prosecutors offered to let Willie Nelson pay a small fine to settle marijuana possession charges if he agreed to sing   “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain” in court.  “I am not gonna be mean to Willie Nelson,” said prosecutor Kit Bramblett.

I could sing “Cry Me A River” but I would still have to pay my fine to the bailiff on the way out the door.

You can now start your own Navy, after U.K. Ministry of Defense announced it would take bids on a decommissioned aircraft carrier, the HMS Ark Royal.  Bidders have to outline their “intention regarding the vessel,” which would never fly in America.  We just build ‘em and then turn them loose on the rest of the world.   “Intentions” I guess could be defined as “Foreign Policy” and it quite apparent to anyone around here … We don’t have one.

It has been awhile, anyone remember the now “infamous Weapons Of Mass Destruction” (WMD’s) from the Bush Administration years?  Well, they say if you preach about something long enough, it will eventually come home to haunt you.  This past week, one of Mr. Bush’s chickens came home to roost.

A terror suspect pleaded not guilty to a charge of attempting to build a bomb, which he allegedly considered deploying at the Dallas residence of Former President George W. Bush.  He came to Lubbock Texas on a student visa in 2008 and was arrested in Feb after ordering a suspiciously large shipment of a chemical used to make explosives.  He should have known, this only works for the coyote in Road Runner cartoons, and he always orders from Acme.

By the way, this guy was one of “our friends from Saudi Arabia.”

They do advertise on television “Come to Texas, it is like a whole other country, Y’all.” They appear to be ahead of the rest of us, terror in the Lone Star State is alive and well in Lubbock of all places.  So much for jihad in Texas.

And you thought it was going to be just another Wednesday …..


Media Fatigue

Well there it is again. “Oil is cheaper than other liquids. How the price of a barrel of oil, $124.31 compares with a similar amount of other liquids.” I don’t know about you, but did you ever notice they always choose a liquid standard that is mostly useless.

Milk $147.00 per gallon — Tropicana Orange Juice $226.00 per gallon — Bud Lite $302.00 — Louisiana brand hot sauce $520.00 — Jack Daniels Whiskey $3,568.00 — Chanel #5 perfume $102,144.00

Realistically speaking about the only thing up there that you actually “need” would be milk. And that is it.

So it is basically useless information, drinking a gallon a day of beer, you are a hopeless alcoholic and you should not be driving anywhere, anytime. One gallon of Orange Juice has enough sugar, acid, vitamin C in it to put enough hives on you to make you look like the face of the moon.

All of this is misdirection. It is by design, going to make you think of something “other than the high price of fuel” and nothing more.

No one in their right mind, not even a gator wrestlin’ country bumpkin from the deep south, would drink a gallon of hot sauce, Jack Daniels the same (but on the other hand if you are inclined to wrestle gators on the weekend, a little Jack Daniels might be a good idea), and anyone that uses a gallon of perfume, should not even be out in public. If she does, she is probably a “Workin’ Gal” and that is another post altogether.

The point being, this is ludicrous, unrealistic, and just plain dumb.

Might as well be a gallon of Bat Guano from Carlsbad, New Mexico, a gallon of goats milk from Afghanistan, hot peppers from Central America, moonshine from the piney-woods outside Ft. Smith Arkansas, or Foo-Foo water from Cannes, France.

It would make about as much sense as that does.

Driving by the 7-11 today I notice the price of the stuff (gas) is UP again (big surprise there, no?) and although the numbers show a definite decrease and a positive change in the driving habits of American’s nationwide, we continue to be raped by Big Oil.

General Motors must have sold a bunch of Hummers this week, that is the only thing I could see that would be driving it up in price. Americans are not expecting any relief at the gas pump. Indeed, 86% say they expect it to exceed $4 a gallon and to eventually top out at over $5 that is up too, only 26% of them thought that last year. Americans are paying $1.6 billion a day for gasoline, that is three times what they paid for it 2002.

As I am in a generous mood this day, have not been attacked or mauled lately, my mailbox is no longer smoking. I will pass on to you, two things you can do to beat this.

First, you can make your own fuel at home, start up capital is a little steep, about $10 grand, but you can make your own ethanol.

Or solution #2 … You can buy a fuel efficient automobile made by the Japanese. Honda unveiled its latest big MPG product this week in Los Angeles. A hybrid that gets an estimated 74 mpg and runs on Hydrogen. Only one drawback … in all of California there are just a handful of hydrogen fuel stations, they have been slow to catch on in the Golden State.

No small wonder … Hydrogen is a byproduct of “water” and we all know there isn’t any PROFIT in that, don’t we.

Iceland, a small country at the top of the world, runs all of their cars, trucks and buses on hydrogen. The only oil that they import or use is for lubrication purposes (grease etc) and that is it. But I don’t suppose anyone in Washington, DC every noted this fact. You can write Mr. Bush about it, but I understand he isn’t all that big on reading, might put it inside a copy of the latest video game, better chance of him finding it there, something like Grand Theft Auto II or something like that.

Might as well run this one up the flagpole and see if I can find someone to salute it. And then I am outta here.

One thing I have noticed here of late is the word “Jihad” casually being tossed around by our elected morons. Correct me if I am wrong, but we are “supposed to be at war with Al Qaeda and other Islamic fanatics,” and we are constantly showering them with compliments?

When you refer to an Islamist extremist as a jihadi” or “Jihadist.” You are commenting on them in a positive fashion, you are portraying them in a positive light, not the terrorists thugs, bloody cowards that they are.

As I understand this, in Arabic, the word jihad has only positive connotations; it refers to either a quest to find one’s fate or an external fight for justice. So when we refer to Islamic suicide bombers as jihads, we essentially are calling our enemies “holy warriors.”

Someone needs to fix this or at least point it out to our resident MBA C average dudes.

The people who seem devoted to using this phrase in the wrong fashion are the very same people who told us that “mushroom clouds” over American Cities were a reality, that certain knowledge was indicative to this nuke-uleer holocaust on our shores. That was just before some 4,000 Americans were sent overseas to die, along with some 85,000 Iraqis, not to be confused as resident Jihads or political candidates.

I guess the bumper stickers were right after all.

Language is a funny thing, for example, “The president of Mexico, refers to “illegals” as National Hero’s. Certainly wrong, but that is the way it goes ….. First your money and then your clothes … Or … as Bo Diddley used to say, “Don’t trust anyone but your mama, and look at her real good.”

So that is it in a nutshell. The air in America isn’t the only thing that seems to be polluted these days, lot of television broadcasting is the same.

Now if you excuse me, I have a number three washtub of Craw Daddies and a gallon of Louisiana Hot Sauce to work thru … Should take me most of the weekend.