Negative Ruminations

imgresFor the first time in something like 200 years, a Pope is resigning and throwing in the towel.  Two books on the subject say that “the internal politic’s of the church” are the main culprit and that the stress and strain of dealing with it on a daily basis is why the Head Man In Charge is stepping down. 

Too many cooks will often spoil the soup, is what my Mama used to say, and it appears that all this negative influence has pulled the man down.  Details can be found here.

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

There was a woman who was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.  She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:  “Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome.  So, how are you getting there?” 

“We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” 

“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.  So, where are you staying in Rome?”

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome ‘s Tiber River called Teste.”  The hairdresser responded: “Don’t go any further. I know that place.  Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

Not to be deterred the woman getting her hair done responded:  “We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. “You and a million other people trying to see him.  He’ll look the size of an ant.  Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.” 

A month later, the woman again came in for a touchup on her hairdo.

The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.  “It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.  And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!” 

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”   

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.  Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”   

“Oh, really!  What’d he say?” the hairdresser asked.  The woman getting her hair done replied … He said: “Who ****** up your hair?”

Uh, no good huh?  Well whadya expect for free?

mime-attachment1

Try this one on for size.

A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.  (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.  (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171  Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services.

Now please consider this: (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is estimated to be 80,000,000.  (Yes, that’s 80 million)  (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.  (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188  Statistics courtesy of FBI

10523

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.  Remember that …  “Guns don’t kill people, doctors do.”

So here is the bottom line, where the rubber meets the road:

Not everyone has a gun … But … Almost everyone has at least one doctor.

This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner.  Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.  We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand! *

OOO

*Out of concern for the public at large, we withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention … (sorry Larry)

Media Smoke and Mirrors

mountain-5

Man, I hate sitting down to an empty screen early in the morning, nothing remotely interesting about that at all.  Oh well, here is Tuesday’s riposte, for whatever it is worth.  It occurs to me that I have not scratched the surface of toxic waste here lately, might take a shot at that this morning, being as it is such a nice day outside.  Been awhile since I took a shot at the media, might give that a whirl while I am at it.

Like I said, “it has so far, been a slow day.”

Yesterday one of our readers pointed out to me “that things are not always the way they seem to be” (concerning media coverage of certain items) and she most certainly is right.  Every now and then, someone drops by to wipe the window-panes of my world, and I can clearly see things that I could not see before, such is the case with yesterday’s mail.

Take for instance, the recent expose on CBS award winning broadcast, Sixty Minutes, on “Clean Coal” which neglected to show the rape and pillaging of the environment in West Virginia and the coal companies practice of mountain top mining (removing the top of mountains in order to get to the coal).

Clearly this media coverage of this event was one-sided at best.  This is just one thing that she pointed out to me.

mountain-2

If you have never been in this particular area of America (West By-Gawd Virginia as the locals call it), you need to go and experience it, before it is gone.  Not long ago, I remember a group of people in the same area and parts of Kentucky and Tennessee taking the coal companies to task and hauling them into court for the damages they were doing.  They won a judgment and a cease and desist order from the state courts.

The coal companies however got the decision kicked up to the higher federal courts, who in turn then took the judgment, turned it over, reversed it in their favor, and business continued as usual.

mountain-3

So much for justice.


montain-4

Perhaps they just thought we might not notice?

So having been stirred out of my “everything is just swell in my world” frame of mind, I started thinking about all this pirate hi-jinks in another part of the world.  (By the way, I just hate it when that happens)  Take for instance this pirate issue which has been in the news quite a bit here lately. When these boys in Somalia do what they have been doing, the entire world wants to declare judgment on them and declare in essence “a war on the pirates.”

Now a few of these so-called pirates are indeed just that, kidnappers who are only after ransom money, or what amounts to high sea gangsters stealing anything and everything, including humanitarian aid.

But did you ever stop to think that a lot of what is going on is by “legitimate Somalis” who have a very different and entirely legal reason for intercepting western shipping in the area?  They are desperately trying to protect their country against illegal dumping of hospital sludge and in some cases, nuclear waste.

Of course, this is not reported, it is not newsworthy, it is not sensational.

The news media has a profound tendency to report news in this very fashion, if it doesn’t bleed, then it doesn’t lead.  Ever hear of a story about a teenager in America, doing something nice?  When native Indians in the Amazon, organized and tried their level best to stop the destruction of their land by the mining companies and lumber interests, they were declared “criminals” and in some cases hunted down and eliminated.

I rest my case.

Here is something that most folks do not consider or even are aware of.  Once the government of Somalia collapsed in 1991, Europe began using the Horn of Africa as a garbage dump for hospital and factory waste including heavy metals and radioactive materials.  The European companies have been contracting with the Italian Mafia to dispose of their waste as cheaply as possible.

For a very long time, the waste in Genoa and Naples, Italy was a very real problem for local officials.  Personally having visited Naples, I can attest to this fact, “you can smell Naples a long time before you can see it from a ship at sea.”

No media attention is paid to the fact that European ships having routinely been looting the waters off of Somalia of their fish stocks.  Tons of tuna, shrimp, and lobster are being illegally fished, while Somali fisherman find it ever harder to make a living or often, just bring in a decent catch.

Most of the boats now called “pirate ships” are in fact, Somali fishermen who are trying to prevent poaching and dumping on their waters.

So as our reader so aptly points out in her email, “things are not always as they appear to be” in this day and age, and for most part, I have to agree.  Makes one wonder, “Just who are the real criminals in all this?”

On most days it is pretty hard to weed them out from all the rest.

OOO

Another Crap Sandwich

Bad Diet.

We are being fed one crap sandwich after another, and unfortunately, it appears that from here on out, it is crap sandwiches as far as the eye can see. Secretary of the Treasury Paulson says the U.S. Economy is not out of the woods, and in for some more tough sledding. This naturally occurs when you a hire a fox to watch the chicken house as they say in rural America.  Things are so bad, Mexico is considering building their own fence to keep out Wall Street Brokers, financial advisory personnel and stock brokerage workers.

Naked Gnomes of Finance.

With the titan’s of finance standing humbled and broken amongst us, no hero’s on the horizon to turn to. Having invested lavishly in financial instruments neither they, nor virtually anyone else truly understood, the entire house of cards came tumbling down in a matter of weeks. When we looked for all those people “that ran on a platform of LEADERSHIP all we found were a bunch of bickering, fighting children” talking ideologies and hurling blame and hurt feelings, but offering little in the way of solutions. That right there, is enough to throw water on any good ol boy’s parade. To feed ‘em their own words … That is Priceless.

Professionals at work.

See how Congress has modified the Paulson Plan.  Originally 2 pages, now 451+ pages.  This excerpt shows an important addition (perhaps omitted due to an oversight by Secretary Paulson), that illustrates an important aspect of our political regime.  All the hogs rushed to the trough and this is what they added.

Change The Logo

It is fairly easy to be a Politically Correct Liberal in America, especially when you live in a gated community. The Republican Party should change their national emblem from an elephant to a prophylactic, because it stands for inflation, halts production, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives a false sense of security when one is being screwed. Assuming that either the left win or the right wing gains control of the country, it will probably just fly around in circles and of course, passing out worthless checks.

Backyard gardening, now you can grow your own.

Health food stores are experiencing a rush in Italy as researchers isolated an erection inducing plant compound in a widely sold Chinese Herb know as “Horny Goat Weed” (No, I am not making this up) the compound icarin, may be as effective as Viagra, they are saying. We have “medical marijuana” why not grow something useful right next to it, if you find yourself watering for more than four hours, call a physician.

Times are really getting bad now.

Playboy is laying off bunnies, but there is a bright side, think of all the money Hugh Hefner will save on batteries! And the world economy continues to take more casualties.  This morning I read where one of my overseas friends is getting down and it takes one more casualty.

Take care … Things will get better … I hope.

Don’t be a victim Jen, be a cheer leader!

Like my sainted Grandmother used to say ….. Look for the Rainbow Donnie … There is always a good side. As Michael Beaudet of Key West, Florida said after being rescued from his disabled sail boat after being adrift for some six days: “First the rum ran out, the cigarettes ran out, then the food ran out, and then the water was gone. Thank God for the rain!”

Sign of the times

Highway authorities throughout the country are being bedeviled by thieves who keep stealing highway markers bearing the numbers “666” or “66.6.” In New Jersey at least four such signs have been swiped, either by religious zealots who are upset with the numbers’ biblical association with the devil, or by young people who think it is cool to have a 666 sign in their bedrooms. Officials are countering with changing the route to 665.

Pass me the Salsa and some of them chips.

Within a decade, Mexico will catch up to the U.S. to become one of the worlds fattest nations, the Mexican government announced this week. Already, half of Mexicans are overweight and obesity among children is rising steadily. New cases of high blood pressure and diabetes have increased more than 25% over the past five years.

Low class act.

Adran Ghalib, the paparazzo who dated Britney Spears during her long downward spiral is peddling a two-hour sex tape of the singer, in which she performs wearing nothing by a pink wig. He said he is “open to the best offer” but … get this … Is too much of a gentleman to reveal any embarrassing information about his ex. I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney. Talk about a bottom-feeder this has to be him.

Isolate the problem.

During Gov. Sarah Palin’s (R-AK) speech in Florida this morning, campaign staffers kept the press locked out of the park and away from supporters attending the speech. Constantly under the watchful eyes of security, the media wasn’t permitted to wander around inside Coachman Park to talk to Sarah Palin supporters. When reporters tried to leave the designated press area and head toward the bleachers where the crowd was seated, an escort would dart out of nowhere and confront him or her and say, “Can I help you?” and turn the person around.

When one reporter asked an escort, who would not give her name, why the press wasn’t allowed to mingle, she said that in the past, negative things had been written. The campaign wanted to avoid that possibility Monday. Palin has still yet to give a single press conference since being tapped as Sen. John McCain’s running mate on August 29.

Where the **** are we?

Speaking at a San Francisco fundraiser on Sunday, Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) “fumbled” while praising U.S. soldiers in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, referring to Afghanistan as a “neighboring country”: “They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan,” she told several hundred supporters at a fund raising event in San Francisco. Afghanistan borders neither the United States nor Iraq.

Asian geography appears equally difficult for Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), who has discussed an imaginary Iraq-Pakistan border. Perhaps they took Geography 101 at the Michael Jackson School located in Never-Never-land-California (an ideal or imaginary place).

Here is a real eye opener.

If you want to read something really interesting on McSame here is the link. It is rather long, but well worth the read, it is supposed to be published in Rolling Stone next month. You can find all 11,000 words of it here. Make Believe Maverick It might change your mind and it might not.

Middle of the week for a five-day wage slave in Oklahoma.

We now we see that money will buy you a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. Lately I find it hard to be happy, upbeat, truly amusing. Early in the morning and I am fresh out of aphorisms to describe the pain I feel. I don’t have a short, pointed sentence to express a wise observation or a general truth, I just have this.

So, as the bantering and bickering continue, one fact remains constant, from a political standpoint, we are not getting much better than what we have had, geographically speaking they really seem to be lost as a goose.  It looks like four more years of the same.

And if that is the case, Lord help us!

000



Homeland Insecurity

Homeland (I want to put my hand in your bra) Security Workers at the Airport caught some kid trying to smuggle some fireworks out on a jet today bound for Fresno, California.  Heightened security now prevails and we are currently at level six which is blue or kind of off green color, I am not sure.  We sure do take this to extremes anymore don’t we? 

As we always strive to bring you the sublime and the ridiculous.  Get this.  Law Enforcement Agencies and unions are all up in a tizzy, because the new “badges” the screeners are now wearing just released by the government.  They claim it makes them look like they are “law enforcement officers” and not just security personnel. 

When was the last time someone ran you down with an electronic wand and wrote you a ticket? 

Speaking of tickets. (Nice blend eh?)  A few of my newly retired people frequently ask me, as a retired person, what I do to make my days interesting.  Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop.  I was only there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?’

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.  I called him a ‘doughnut eating Nazi.’  He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.  So I called him a ‘flat-footed oinker.’

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.  Then he wrote a third ticket.  This went on for about 20 minutes.  The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.  Personally, I didn’t care.  I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said ‘Obama in ’08.’

 

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired.  It’s important to my health.   

Now before you write me a ton of Emails, I didn’t really do that, a friend sent it to me yesterday and I found it humorous and wanted to include it in here today.  I am a law abiding, honest, truth telling, always pay my taxes, give to the American Red Cross, fine specimen of a human being.

O’Bammer did say that he was ready to bring the troops home, and I am all for that, I have been all for that for about, let’s see, about five years now.  It is not easy living in this big old world of hate and turmoil, especially if all your guardians are not in this country, but rather in someone else’s backyard, and there is no one here to protect you.  Some folks have become so downright comfortable with occupation forces; they are offering to sell their arms and listing them as “only been dropped one time” in the ads.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.  Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.”

The only two higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate.” The rise in scaredy-cat levels was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms.  So now, the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

000