Bridging The Gap


On May 6th, a group of Pekin, Illinois, bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge, so they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, got off his Harley, walked through a group of gawkers, past the state trooper, and said, “What are you doing?” She replied, “I’m going to commit suicide.

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Weekend Drill

Now there are winners and losers in life, that in itself, is a given.  Like the guy who was down on his luck, nothing was working for him, and when his IPOD stopped functioning, he called the service help line for some assistance. 

But somehow, mistakenly, he got some suicide prevention hot-line in Pakistan and when he blurted out all his problems, they asked him if he could drive a truck, and when he said “Yes.” they got all excited.

Reach out … Reach out … Reach out and kill somebody!

Bad week for terrorism, with the news that a suicide bomber planning an attack on Moscow was blown to bits when an unexpected text message to a cell phone attached to the bomb detonated it.  The message was from her phone-service provider, wishing her a happy birthday.

Is that poetic justice or what?

Have you ever noticed these motorcycles going down the road with an attached trailer?  I saw one this weekend, and I got to thinking about it.  “I mean, if you have to take that much stuff with you … wouldn’t it be a better deal to just buy a car?”

Don’t you think that it kind of takes away from the “ultimate freedom of the open road” and the adventure on life’s highway mystique that a lot of these pretend bikers seem to portray.

We went junking this weekend, we like to get out on Saturday’s and hit the garage sales, see what folks are selling off, look for a bargain or that “thing that I just cannot live without.”  It seems a new attitude has hit the market place, garage sales used to be people unloading too much stuff.  Now it appears that folks are selling just about everything to generate funds, that it isn’t like it used to be, kind of desperate now.

This one guy had this old bus for sale, definitely the biggest thing we happened to come across, he wanted to know what it was worth … I told him “not much.”  Which considering the circumstances, was about as honest as I could be.

Money is tight, and times are hard, and if you can’t get anything for it, you might as well just keep it.  It is no small wonder.  We build roads in countries where people ride a donkey to town for their staples, we send politicians to the oil rich states to negotiate for us instead of businessmen.  We have troops in 147 countries world wide.

Look around, every state in the nation is experiencing problems, you read the daily paper and every other page has some kind of article on “tax increases” or funding problems.  The office of comptroller in Illinois admitted it’s “a deadbeat state,” so cash starved that it has hiked income tax rates by some 66% and simply stopped paying the $6 billion it owed to schools, pharmacies, and a host of other creditors.  California, once the fifth largest economy in the world, is fending off vendors with IOU’s and Arizona has sold off it state House and Senate buildings and stopped covering organ transplants for Medicaid patients.

Now I understand there is a big push on to get “Mexicans to purchase a home in this country.”  Part of the new deal, “you buy a house and we give you a visa.”  Desperate times call for desperate measures I guess.  Next thing you will possibly hear will be the return of the NINJA loans, so popular with bankers a few years ago.

NINJA = No Income, No Job, No Assets.

Nothing worth a snap on at the local Cinema, so we headed down town for a bowl of spaghetti and a trip to the local comedy store.  So, for lack of any other suitable venue to take our minds’ off the current round of insanity coming out of Washington, we headed out to the big city.

Driving the eighteen miles to town Saturday night we eventually ended up at a comedy club downtown.  One of the headliners was a hypnotist.  I guess he was pretty good, but I felt sorry for the act I saw.  He hypnotized five guys on stage and then dropped the mike on his foot and said, “Well Nuts … Screw Me!”

What happened next will haunt me forever.

Monday morning, I got those wake up its early, wash behind your ears they’re dirty, eat your eggs and oatmeal rush to work blues.  Another promise of an exciting week here in the heartland is on the horizon.

See you at the water cooler.


Different Strokes

Please note:  As of today, right now, this moment … We are going to one post per day.

This is today’s post.

Reading the paper and it says that President Shrub and the First Lady are not going home right away after the inauguration.  They are flying to Midland Texas for a “welcome home celebration for Laura” this is her hometown. (You did notice I said it was for “Laura” and not for him)

So the cottage in Dallas is on hold for a little bit.  It is not a moving thing, as after eight years of Bush, there simply cannot be much left in Washington to take home.  It is a decorating issue.  The article goes on to say that they are not ready to move into the new diggs in Dallas as the painters have not finished up on the painting of the new residence.

Which struck me as strange, because you see I have never lived anywhere in my entire life where I had to wait on the movers, the painters, the plumbers or any other service people.  There is a very good reason for this, you see:

I am the painters, the plumber and those other service people.

Much like you, I am a Happy Home Owner and I am in charge of these responsibilities as I am not rich.  Only the wealthy are required to wait on the hired help, the rest of us do not share this luxury of life.

I am not wealthy, do not ever expect to be well-heeled as they say, and that is the name of that tune.  Having no real desire to be stinking rich, I will freely admit to aspiring to not minding smelling bad, but other than winning the lottery, I see no real hope of ever being considered rich and having to wait on a plumber or a painter anywhere at any time.

So you can see why it strikes me as odd, “having to wait on the painters” before moving in.

Same thing with flying, they fly everywhere they go, and to them it is matter of fact, “Old Hat.”  Too me it is a monumental hassle, take off your shoes, remove those nipple rings — bend over something is squeaking down there and setting the wand off!  And all of that is before we leave the house for the airport!

My wife takes this flying business rather seriously these days.

They don’t have to put up with any of that, they just get on the bird and whoosh …. Off they go.  Ah the perks of political importance and being with the in-crowd.  Flying is also very expensive, another pesky little detail that they do not have to put up with, they are flying on the cuff, the taxpayer pays for all their little junkets.

Jim Inhofe a Senator from our state is known for flying all around the world, he did close to $200,000 worth of it last year, he seems to have adopted the continent of Africa.  All of it on the taxpayer accounts and this is all they had documented, a lot of it was using military aircraft and there are no figures available for that.

Face it we are all little fish swimming in a big pond, and they are the big fish.  Well, I need to get off this jag, I am beginning to sound whiny, and I hate that when it happens.

So what is it here that is newsworthy, this Saturday morning?  As many of you know, Hillary Clinton was chosen to operate the apparatus that dropped the ball on New Years eve.  And it occurred to me, who would have been a better choice to have dropped the ball, than a Senate Democrat?

Sarah Palin says Caroline Kennedy is getting a media pass and she is upset with that.  That is news?  Sarah also has a new grandson, Tripp, or as the liberal news media calls him, “Fresh Meat.”

Barack Obama was recently named as “Man of the Year” by Time magazine, but Al Franken in Minnesota claims there might be enough unclaimed votes to support his contention of Man of the Year.

Went to Borders yesterday and picked up some new reading material:  Circumcision by Appointment, Urogential Manipulation — or life in Washington DC on the lobbyist trail.  I suppose when Bush goes home he will write one on Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation numbers or how to Bombproof Your Horse, How to make it in life after squatting down with your spurs on — I can hardly wait.

Big time shaker out on the westcoast yesterday, something like 5.9 on the Richter scale.  It was felt in Los Angeles and all the way up to San Bernardino which is an area of about 55 miles.  They say animals can detect a quake before it hits.  My dad had a weenie dog named Fritz that could do it, he knew when they were coming and he would meet us all at the front door, flashlight in his mouth, and he had already changed the batteries!

Now here is why we are going to one post per day for an indefinite period of time or the end of the world, whichever comes first.

DuckyLast week or awhile back I discovered this little duck in my front yard, don’t have a clue as to where it came from or how it got there.  It wasn’t much of anything really, just this little lost, fluffy orphan, so I brought it inside the house and placed it in the warmth of my office, right next to the computer.

I got to thinking this week, “I bet this duck has never been out of town?” (Not really, I got to thinking it has been a long time since YOU have been out of town)  So I have decided to shut it down some and get out of Dodge for awhile.

Gasoline right now is cheap and I have just sunk my life savings into my truck [My Old Hoopie] to get it in good operating order.  One of the apparent benefits of not being gainfully employed is the ability to load up your favorite duck and head out.  ATM card in hand, full tank of gas and an empty bladder, loose me on humanity and set me free!  I am a fiend for the open road, Radio Girl has been sending me all those “we are having a good time you are not photo’s” back from down south, I am outta here.

Me and the duck, no poopy, we are out on the highway, mile after mile of tortured country music on the stereo westbound with the hammer down.

In the meantime, we will try our level best to post at least one item per day (not the usual two or three) and answer comments as we can.  As we are not traveling in a multi-million dollar motorhome Like Celine Dion or Cher, with a sat. dish on top, internet service will be sporadic at best and at times, non existent.

But where there is a will there is a way.

Please play fair amongst yourselves and try not to kill anyone while I am gone.


Final Expenses

imagespleasebuyThe shoe is on the other foot now boys … How does it feel?

You know who I am talking about here, all you wonderful folks with no customer service, 15% restocking fee’s.

All those lousy good-for-nothing rebate forms that are somehow never filled out correctly or submitted on time, and do not pay off.

How does it feel?  What color is the sky in your world now.

Now I am somewhat confused about some of this, so perhaps someone can help me out?  “If I received a check back from my bank, and the check is marked insufficient funds.” How am I to know if it is MY check or if it is THEIR check that is insufficient?

Today is your lucky day, believe it or not, your internet search is over!  You have found the site that you were looking for!  We are here and we are open for business.

With all the pressing important concerns in the world, famine, drought, world politics’, boil over wars across borders, AIDS, the current meltdown of the financial capitalist pigs and their concerns, you find a blog that is willing to talk about … Toilet Paper.

Yes … I said Toilet Paper.

Wow, what a deal.  This could very well be as I have stated … your lucky day, … as it happens, toilet paper is one of our major topics this day, the use or rather non-use of toilet paper.

Soon to be a three part series on Dr. Phil, please check your local listings.

Woke up this morning experiencing several concerns, very important issues, and I will now share with all of you.  Things like:  “Why is it every box or roll of toilet paper has a picture of a baby on it?” Babies are the “last people” on the face of the earth that use toilet paper.

I also see where a politician came up with a “pay as you go plan” for helping towns to grow their own sewer systems.  He introduced a bill to place a tax of two cents per roll of toilet paper.  The money then would be used to fund sewer improvements.

He estimated that this could raise as much as $50 million per year.  His reasoning being, “two cents is not going to hurt families at all and people don’t mind paying for it.”  The governor of the state would not commit one way or the other, but said that if toilet paper is taxed, people might use less of it, and that would be a bad thing overall.

While we are on the subject of “less than desirable things in life” here is another.

Has the world suddenly gone insane or is it just me?  I am reading about this governor of Illinois thing and I am wondering to myself, “how is it these people manage to fly in under the radar, and get elected in the first place?”  No one noticed this guy was an apparent scumbag from the get go?

We voted for these people?

One thing that is particularly disturbing about all this is how the Republicans will be quick to blame Mr. Obama for this, or possibly link him to it.  that is a shame, but unfortunately, that is politics in America.  Read more about it here.  And as an added bonus, on the same page, Jennifer Anniston proves her boob’s are about 500 times bigger than her brain!

Check Please!

Received this little ditty in the mail yesterday, some outfit wants to help me with my “final expenses.”  At first I could not relate to what they were talking about (I am after all, still alive and do not have anything that is what could be considered final or pending right now) but then it hit me … these bozo’s were talking about burial insurance.

As I am not a big fan of junk mail, most of it ends up in the trash on any given day (the round file).  This automatically makes me a loser in the Sweepstakes Of Life in general and most certainly I will never, ever benefit from all of my “free offers” but that is the way it goes. First your money — then your clothes.

We now leave you with a “first look” of the new pre-bail out production car out of Detroit.  Brought to you by the same folks who gave you Viet Nam, Cambodia, Laos, Afghanistan and Iraq.  With a track record like that you just know this is gonna be good.

Crumple-Crumple … Zip!  Two points! … Hole in one.

One new member in the round file of life and time moves on.


Nobody Cares About Your Dreams


Coffee is good this morning, a little bite to it, but that is okay, it is cold here and uncomfortable.  Americans drink about 400 million cups of coffee per day, that is a lot of coffee, that is an ocean of coffee.  Which is kind of strange, when you stop to think about it.  Coffee has no nutritional value that I know of, why we drink it is truly somewhat of a mystery.

Four out of five adults in the U.S. drink coffee every day.  I know one person who doesn’t, his favorite quote about coffee is this.  “How can something that smells so dog-gone good when it is perculating in the pot, taste so rotten afterwards.” He is not a caffeine junky like the rest of us.

We average about two cups per day in this country, per consumer, that would be about 1/3 of the worlds’ supply of the elixir.  I understand that coffee contains 100 milligrams of caffeine; a cup of espresso has 200.

No More Free Toasters

You can now add Credit Unions to the list of people signing up for the bailout money, they applied for and received $40 billion worth this week to bolster against mortgage losses.  You know the other day I was sitting at the beanery waiting for them to bring me my order and I was staring out the window.  And I got that glazed over look in my eye and the wife said to me, “I know I shouldn’t but I am gonna anyway.  What are you thinking about”?”

And I said, “Oh, I was thinking back a long time ago, when we were young and stupid and we invested in that Ponzi scheme.  You remember that?” and she said, “Oh Lord, whatever made you think of that?”

For all of you that are not aware, a Ponzi scheme is a get rich deal, most of the time called a “Pyramid Scheme” and the people, who get in early, make tons of money, the others, well they don’t do so well.  They mainly lose their investment.  We were in the later group, we lost, about $1,000 and interest, and I made every stinking payment on it, 36 of them suckers.  (I told you we were young and stupid, we didn’t even have the money to lose, we borrowed our entry level amount … Now that was really d-u-m-b.)

So here is the deal.

I am thinking about how it is that I did something really dumb, really stupid, and I lost what I considered a large amount of money.  AND NO ONE … NOT ONE SOLITARY SOUL CAME FORWARD TO BAIL ME OUT … I HAD TO PAY EVERY DAMN DIME OF IT … AND I HAD TO TAKE MY KNOCKS THE HARD WAY. Since then, several lucrative offers have presented themselves, and we always say “no thank you.”  Our official position is that we have had so many good deals in the past, we cannot afford any more of them now.

When do WE get bailed out … Who is going to help us out … those of us that are struggling.

Business has gotten so bad here lately, even the people who were not planning on paying for it anyway, are not buying. I asked my neighbor about it and he said, “The bible says cast thy bread upon the waters and it will be returned to you 100 fold.”  Which is fine, but what are you supposed to do with 100 soggy wet loaves of bread?  When I was young, my paycheck would burn a hole in my pocket, these days it isn’t enough to keep my pocket warm.  It is truly a shame that at this point in life, you have only one regret.  And that would be that you have not accumulated enough cash to be able to fly on a moment’s notice to Japan to bid on Paul’s Sergeant Peppers uniform.

The Governor will see you now … Please have your checkbook handy

Corruption has tainted politics in Chicago (Illinois in general) since the prohibition days and Albert Scarface Capone, but the arrest Tuesday of Illinois Governor Brad Blagojevich revealed alleged conspiracy and bribery schemes so brazen that the veteran investigators and prosecutors could barely hold their revulsion.  Government for sale .. to the highest bidder, the American Way, kind of makes you proud doesn’t it?  Shades of Bill Clinton when he was governor of Arkansas.  When the highway patrol stopped you there, they would say, “Have your wife get out of the car, so the governor can frisk her.”

Here is another one out of Illinois for you. In Springfield, Zachary Holloway, 20, and a pal were arrested and charged with breaking into one car and stealing, among other things, a motorcycle helmet, then attempting to break into another car.

To try to get into the second car, Holloway put on the helmet, stood back from the car, and charged into it, head-butting a window, unsuccessfully, twice.  They were arrested and booked that day.

Finally coming clean

Some 20 years after the Exxon Valdez oil spill, plaintiffs in the case are getting what’s left of the money they were originally awarded, the Anchorage Daily News reports.  Some plaintiffs will get amounts ranging from several hundred dollars to $100K or more.  Most had just about given up hope of getting anything from it at all.

Now lets see, you take an amount of money, put it in the bank and allow it to sit, for say …. Oh let’s just say “twenty years” … that might accumulate enough in interest where you end up never paying a fine at all.  Just thinking outside the box.  Naw, “our friends in the oil and gas industry” wouldn’t do that to us … would they?

Oh well it could be worse (how could it possibly be worse?) you could be in your car, stranded on an Alaskan highway and the only human within 200 miles is a Cro-Magnon Woman wearing a torn parka who communicates through a series of bizarre grunts, winks and gesticulations and she not only comes to your rescue, but you have to “talk to her” all the way back to town.

Lying crooks what is this world coming to?

In the city that launched the national crime-stopper movement, Albuquerque, New Mexico, which pays informants for tips that help police solve local crimes there could be a possible snag.  It appears now the highly successful program designed for, “people that hang out with crooks to do part time work” might be providing the cops with “less than truthful information” for the rewards.

It appears that even in hard times, the low life’s will resort to less than honest approaches at generating funds.  Police are now saying that they are going to have to be more careful because they “might be playing games with us” in order to get the money.  Geeze, do you think so?  Bad cop, bad cop, no donut.

Man, I would like a shot at that myself.

Barre, Vermont. A man who hit Governor Douglas in the face with a pie during an Independence Day parade will spend five days on a work crew for the prank.  Matthew Manning, 23, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and apologized.  Manning, dressed as Santa Claus ran up to Douglas during the Montpelier parade and threw the pie before being tackled by the mayor and being detained.  I would like to pay this man’s fine, if there is one, but I am curious.  “Santa Claus at an Independence Day celebration, what were you thinking?”

Time to wrap this one up.

If you attend the job fair/money seminar at the Holiday Inn this weekend?  When the speaker begins the seminar by saying, “By a show of hands, how many of you don’t know the difference between a stock and a bond?” and you are the only one with your hand in the air?

Go immediately to the Lobby … American Xpress or Bank Of America are looking for you.  You might have a new job Monday morning.

Who says things aren’t looking up.


We are still valiantly trying to hit “one million” visits by March 12th of 2009, please help us to achieve this goal.  Post the address anywhere you like (, tell all your friends, ask them to just stop by and check it out.  Help us to make this happen!

Up In Smoke

As the mortgage debacle reaches its nascent stage, a lot of other newsworthy items are falling into the cracks. A lot of talk here lately on the growing and marketing of Marijuana in this country. But because of all this other ___ no one is really noticing. Pot growing in the U.S.A. is “big time business.” If we could somehow legalize this, and tax the sale of it, we could bust the federal deficit in a period of under five years.

80% of pot crop in the United States in now grown on Federal land, it invades our National Parks. Thousands of marijuana plants were seized last month in the Dixie National Forest in Utah. We have a new blight on the land. Mexican drug cartels are stepping up marijuana cultivation in national parks and on other public land, endangering visitors and damaging the environment.

75%-80% of marijuana grown outdoors is on state or federal land. The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) says there were more than 4.8 million marijuana-plant seizures at outdoor sites in 2006. Tighter border controls make it harder to smuggle marijuana into the USA, so more Mexican drug networks are growing crops here.

We are finding more marijuana gardens in the parks year after year. And to top it off, we’re dealing with some bad characters. We are arresting people … who have criminal records in Mexico, and almost all of them are here illegally with false papers.

The number of marijuana plants confiscated on public land in California grew from 40% to 75% of total seizures between 2001-2007, says the state’s Campaign Against Marijuana Planting task force. Hunting and cleaning up after pot growers diverts resources at a time when parks face chronic funding shortfalls. says Laine Hendricks of the non-profit National Parks Conservation Association.

Recent busts:

• A site with 16,742 marijuana plants was raided last month in North Cascades National Park in Washington state. It was operated by a Mexican organization. People living at the site downed trees, dammed creeks and left 1,000 pounds of trash.

• Thousands of marijuana plants were seized last month in Utah‘s Dixie National Forest. Ignacio Rodriguez was charged with drug and immigration offenses, says Michael Root, a DEA special agent. The problem is worst on the West Coast, but law-enforcement pressure on growers has pushed them out this way.

• Last month, officials burned thousands of marijuana plants seized in Cook County, Ill., forest preserves. Drug organizations use the Chicago area as a base for distributing marijuana across the Midwest, says DEA special agent Joanna Zoltay.

• In July and August, officials seized more than 340,000 plants, some from Sequoia National Forest and Kings Canyon and Sequoia national parks. Mexican cartels are responsible for many sites in those parks. They leave behind car batteries and propane tanks and poach deer and birds.

Visitors to wilderness areas are at risk, marijuana plants have been found marijuana within a half-mile of public beaches and very short distances from campgrounds and highways.

Perhaps it is time to legalize this cash crop and do something about this nationwide problem.

We might be able to “kill two birds with one stone” as my Mama used to say. This immigration problem on our southern border could be alleviated and the problem of growers taking over our National Parks for the illegal practice of pot growing, this might disappear too.

What would happen if we just made Mexico part of California, wouldn’t we spend the same amount of money to help support them in their efforts to grow, as we spend trying to keep them out? Why do we constantly try to jail these people and pay for their medical bills?

Especially when they are not willing to become “American’s” in most cases.

Why don’t we just give them California and let them grow all the pot for the nation, and we will collect the revenues and taxes on it. California used to be part of Mexico at one time. It would not take much to annex it back to them, there are parts of Oakland, Stockton that I would gladly give to a foreign country.

Let’s face it. The war on drugs hasn’t done anything, we lost, it is over.

Roughly 75% of the two million incarcerated prisoners locked down in America, are for drug related offenses. The drug problem, like it or not, is OUR problem. It is big business, #1 cash crop in America, take a visit a modern day pot grower see for yourself. We are the society that is using this garbage and creating the market for it. If we did not use it, then they would not be coming north to grow it on our soil.

If they are going to come which is a pretty safe bet, then we should document them, and let them help out with the tax burden, social programs, and welfare issues. If they need a job, we will just send them to Mexi-Fornia and put them to work growing smoke.

Tax the crap out of it, and pay off our huge federal deficit. If they can put a federal tax stamp on a pack of Marlboro’s they can do the same with a bag of grass.  Plus it is great for the economy.  We will sell more Twinkies and Dorito’s, China Mart will sell Goldfish at three in the morning, and Denny’s will fill all their empty booths after two AM.

Its a win-win deal, I am surprised those pecker-heads in Washington haven’t thought of it by now.



Man, I love dumb crooks. Police in Hillsborough, North Carolina, responded to a call from a bank about a man who was acting suspiciously. Capt. Dexter Davis confronted the man asked if he had a weapon. “He pushed his book bag off his shoulders, opened the bag up and held it open to me to show he didn’t have a gun,” Davis said. When Davis looked inside, there was a note in clear view. It read, “I want $10,000 in $100 bills. Don’t push no buttons, or I’ll shot you.” Davis laughed out loud, and then arrested Christopher Fields (who was also carrying a 10 inch knife) and turned him over to the F.B.I..

Now this, is an addiction. Fairbanks – A man is accused of using a chain saw to break into the village store and steal thousands of dollars worth of tobacco and candy. Nathan Henry, 19, was charged with felony burglary and felony theft, according to state troopers. A manager of the store complained after finding a 3-foot hole in one side of the log building that had apparently been cut by a chain saw.

Thieves are the hardest working people I know.

A cool one?  Temper-temper. Boise – A woman who dumped a soft drink she hadn’t paid for onto a counter at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center here was charged in federal court with three misdemeanors. Natalie Walters, 39, faces one count of larceny of government property and two counts of disturbance. Walters said she was overcharged for the soda and dumped it rather than pay.

It is good to see the government cracking down on these wanton lawbreakers in our midst. They cannot locate the terrorists or the illegal aliens, so it appears they have shifted resources to the drink counters of America.

First they started checking our email, then started listening to our phone calls, and now it has digressed to our electric meters  The Delaware Public Service Commission approved a Delmarva Power plan to install “smart meters” to reduce customers energy use.  The approval means the meters will be installed possibly as early as next fall, for more than 300,000 gas and electric customers.  The meters allow for two-way communication between the utility and its customers and of course, “track” energy use.

If this isn’t Big Brother, I don’t know what is.

Poo-Poo occurs, it seems the poo-poo has hit the whirly-dirly in Reno – The city cracked down on recreational vehicles that park overnight in casino parking lots, prompting some RVers to say they’ll boycott Reno. City officials said an ordinance on the books since 1996 outlaws RV camping anywhere except designated parks with water and sewage hookups. The concerns are health-related, a city official said.

What is happening here is Californian’s heading north to the gambling joints and losing their money are dumping their black water (raw sewage or human waste) in the parking lots of the casino’s before they head home. Nasty huh.

Good gosh!  Just give me the ticket.

Mount Juliet Tennessee – A city police officer who used a choking maneuver on a man he suspected of hiding marijuana in his mouth has been fired. The city manager of this Nashville suburb terminated Cpl. William Cosby, who was charged earlier with aggravated assault and perjury. Video from a police car showed Cosby choking James Lawrence Anders Jr. during an April traffic stop until Anders passed out.

Who needs cops when you have bears? Panguitch, Utah. One Utah community is cheering a special bear but don’t call him Smokey. Investigators say a large black bear raided a clandestine marijuana growing operation so often that it chased the grower away. “This bear is definitely law-enforcement minded,” said Garfield County Sheriff Danny Perkins. “If I can find this bear I’m going to deputize him.”

Deputies found food containers ripped apart and strewn everywhere, cans with bear teeth marks, claw marks and bear prints across the Garfield County camp on Tuesday. Perkins said the operation on Boulder Mountain included 4,000 “starter” sacks of pot and 888 young plants. “This particular bear apparently was not going to give up and basically chased these marijuana farmers away,” Perkins said. “Our county is so tough on drugs that even the wildlife are getting in on the action.”

Deadly truck crash leaves $182K in nickels on I-95. One trucker died and two others were injured in a pre-dawn crash that left $182,000 worth of nickels on Interstate 95 near Orlando, Florida. State troopers and federal agents “are securing the scene, while local members of the Treasury are en route,” according to Florida Today. “The Treasury employees will pick up all the nickels.”

By our calculations, the U.S. Mint will have to pick up 3.64 million coins.  A state police spokesman warns that anyone who might stop to collect nickels … even ONE nickel … would face federal charges since the nickels belong to the Treasury Department.  And of course, “anyone with a soft drink in their hand, will automatically be considered “suspicious” for sure.”

And finally … Delhi,Ill..

Here’s a tip: Bar tending nude can get you arrested. Sheriff’s deputies doing a routine check this week at a southern Illinois bar say they discovered a not-so-routine sight. Authorities allege that 33-year-old Janet Brannon was naked while serving bar patrons at the Cabin Tavern in Delhi. Brannon was arrested and charged with misdemeanor public indecency. She was freed on $8,000 bond.

I would like to personally pay this lady’s fine, all we have in Oklahoma is Hooter Girls and 3.2 beer.

It just has to be Monday ……..