Truck Month – Stumped In Oklahoma

0331 Now I am confused, Toyota has a commercial out that says “this is Toyota Truck Month” which is okay, I suppose.  But just the other day, I see one that explains that “February is Ford Truck Month.”  So we either have two auto manufacturers that are clearly outta whack, or it could be that the Japanese are just copying our products again.

Here is something else to add to the mix.  

Each time that Chevy truck commercial comes on where they hook the truck to a tree stump with this massive chain and rip the stump out of the ground.  Well, I just sort of smile to myself.  This is because I remember Earl and Wally, who in their profound wisdom did the very same thing, with a somewhat different twist.

Earl, in an effort to appease his wife, agreed to pull some shrubs on the front of the house.  He called Wally and he came over.  They positioned their trusty 4-wheel drive pickup on the front lawn and hooked cable around some huge bushes in front of the house.  During this preparatory cabling, they consumed several beers in the process. 

After insuring that the bushes were properly wired up, and being as they were more or less, oiled or gassed up to some extent, they decided that a “whole lot of digging around the root system of the bushes” wasn’t all that critical or necessary. Jumping into their trusty steed idling on the lawn, Earl reached down and deftly put the truck in 4-wheel drive (just like on the commercials by gawd) and engaged the throttle for all it was worth.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvroooooom!  Ka-pow, ka-chink, ka-thunk.

The bushes stood their ground, as if they were completely oblivious of what was going on.  Earl’s truck however did not fare so well, they ripped out the transfer case on the 4-wheel drive to the tune of some $6,500.00 Now as you sit there and digest that, make a mental picture of it all, I will try to illustrate to you in words, the time they were both driving in Wally’s car, just below the dam at Lake Hefner.  Coming home from the Red Dog Saloon in Wally’s Chevy two-door sedan. 

Late at night, when all of a sudden out of nowhere, this big buck ran across the road in front of them, and they hit it. Stumbling around in the dark, they locate the animal, in their somewhat inebriated condition decide that it is dead.  This is when Wally gets the great idea that “we can take it home, hang it up in the garage, butcher it and we will have venison” for everybody.

As they drag the animal back to the car there is a lively discussion that ensues on Barbecue etiquette and who not to invite.  Plans are made, agenda’s set, it is on … This Saturday Night!

They open the door of the car and after a little time, they finally get the animal into the vehicle and into the backseat.  They then get in, and start on down the road to Wally’s house to butcher and field dress the animal.  They open their last beer, and as with all good buddies, they split it and one more dead soldier is laid to rest.  

 This is where the master plan starts to unravel, you see, the buck is not dead.  

It was merely unconscious from the blow it received from the automobile.  It awakens and comes to life, in the backseat of the Chevy 2-door and it is definitely not a happy camper. At this time, Earl and Wally, figuring discretion is the better part of valor, exit the car and for the next ten to fifteen minutes, watch as the deer (and his rack of antlers) manages to destroy the interior of Wally’s car.  It rips up the seats, the headliner, just about anything it comes in contact with, until finally it extracts itself from the automobile.  One trashed car, no barbecue and no deer jerky.

Well, there is the bottom of the page rolling up, I see it is time for me to close.  

Next time I will share with you how this dynamic duo, this terrible two-some, decided to go coyote hunting and sat under a tree with this digital tape of a rabbit in a snare (the bait call).  Both of them sitting there, in the dark, playing this tape over and over, sippin on their brew.  Everything was going just swell … Until this huge owl swooped in to their location out of the dark, homing in on the sound, and put his talons into Wally’s head and they had to take him to the Emergency Room for stitches.

Not really sure if any of this happened during Truck Month, will have to check on that, and get back to you.


Mr. Fix-It

Well, well, the month is almost half over, time seems to be rushing by for some strange reason and I do not know why.  I also do not know why you have to pre-wash the pots, pans, and plates before you put them in the dishwasher.

I mean, “it is a dishwasher.”  Right?

Refrigerator quit yesterday, so I got the manual out of the drawer over by the toaster and started reading.  Always a pleasant endeavor on a quiet Monday afternoon.

In the course of my reading, I determined the cause of the shut down (refrigerator was set too close to the wall) and located the necessary steps in the book to fix the appliance.

Wife comes home and asks why the refrigerator is out in the middle of the room?

So I dutifully explain to her in detail what it is that I have learned this day, how it came to be, the whole nine yards.

Now I have to admit, I am feeling pretty full of myself at this point in the game, I have fixed a major appliance Foo-pah (Okie Technical Term) in the home, I am the King Of My Castle.

Please take into consideration that I have not been to appliance repair school nor am I graduate of any fix it university.  So after hearing all I had to offer on the subject, my bride looks at me and says, “My car is outta gas.”

I cannot catch a break.

The next thing you know she will be on my case about the old truck in the backyard.

If it isn’t one thing … It is another around here.