Things Are Bad

“Congress now rates just below telemarketers or whale poop, and we all know that is at the bottom of the ocean.”

The economy is so bad, that it is rumored that Exxon has laid off 25 Congressmen.
The economy is so bad, we are putting hamburger helper in our hamburger helper.
It’s so bad, MasterCard sent us a pre-declined credit card with a zero limit.
If the bank returns your check marked “insufficient funds” you wonder, mine or theirs?

When you order a burger, the kid says, “Can you afford fries with that?”

It’s so bad, Motel Six is not leaving the lite on for you anymore.
CEO’s are now playing “Miniature Golf”
It’s gotten so bad overseas, that the Royal Family and the Queen Mummy are now officially cut back to just $50 million per year.  Your recently issued High Mileage Explorer card has been cut back to 18 miles or a trip to Gary Indiana, whichever comes first.

On the subject of credit cards.  Last month we were hit by daytime burglars and they took a substantial amount of cash, guns, and jewelry from our home.  But I did not call the cops, it turns out they were spending less on the cards than my wife, so I just sort of let it go.

When did the term “Forrest Fire” change to “Wildfire.”  When I was young, we had Smokey The Bear who was always saying … “Only you can prevent forest fires.”

Now any time a fire breaks out, regardless of location, the media deems it a wildfire.

Strange huh?

The CERN Large Hadron Collider outside the tidy Swiss city are homing in on the Higgs boson, the so-called “God particle” that imparts mass to everything in the universe.  It is supposed to be in the shape of a plate, full of money.  Awhile back some very serious people (the folks who had their science project done on time in school) voiced concern that it might generate a black hole that could suck Switzerland and the rest of the known universe into a vortex of nonexistence.

Which is kind of silly, we all know that is the J.O.B. of the U.S. Government.

(No Comment)

We have gotten so big that the U..S. Coast Guard has reduced the passenger capacity of U.S. Commercial vessels to reflect the growing weight of the traveling average American.  The standard used to be based on a weight average of 160 lbs. per passenger, but that has been raised to 185 lbs.  Most of us weigh about 235 lbs. naked and in sandals (now there is a word image for you this morning).

It was a great ride.

Three people left a bar in Steamboat Springs, Colo., mounted horses, and rode them into a Starbuck’s and Safeway.  I suppose to get some more munchies.  It was a great ride right up until the very end, when the cops showed up and they got tasered and arrested.

When you absolutely hit rock bottom … You get re-elected … Is this a great country or what?

Just read a new survey that says “64% of Americans rate the honesty and ethical standards of members of Congress as low or very low.”  Which of course is most likely the lowest rating on record since the ancient times of Rome.  Congress now rates just below telemarketers or whale poop, and we all know that is at the bottom of the ocean.

If you think this is bogus, consider this:  “Hillary has blond hair” … I rest my case y’honor.

A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish.  She tells the vet, “I think it’s got epilepsy.”

The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me.”

The blonde says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”

Things are bad, sure.  But they could get worse.

Never, ever, under any circumstances say to yourself, “Oh well, it can’t get any worse.”  That is not true.  One time in Las Vegas after losing a goodly sum of my cash, while standing on the corner of Las Vegas Blvd and Tropicana Ave, I muttered to myself, “Aw, it can’t get any worse.”

And sure enough, worse followed me across the street to Caesars Palace.



You Get What You Pay For


Man, the news was so bad tonight, that I just turned it off and went outside in the backyard to scream!  Which really doesn’t do me a whole lot of good, but I just love watching the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and then pow!

This evening I am thinking about that old gag, where the Senator is filibustering and he says to the body, “My esteemed colleague from Alabama wants $22 million for a road, and this Senator wants $65 million for a wind tunnel project, and my brother from Utah, is asking for $85 million to build a dam in his home state.  The first thing y’know, we are going to be talking about some REAL money here.”

The time is right for a set of federal policies designed to provide stabilization, stimulus, recovery, and growth. Without action, there is too great a risk of further collapse and an ever-worsening spiral of job loss and economic decline. In addition to action aimed at stabilizing the extremely shaky auto industry and financial and housing markets, Congress should act quickly to pass measures to stimulate the broad economy and commence the road to recovery.

Which is what they did with quickly moving with Secretary of the Treasury Paulson, and he has changed the playbook three times that I know of, and seems to be flying the Treasury by the seat of his pants.  Meanwhile, Congress sits back and in their usual fashion, does nothing about it.

In broad categories, the $350 billion package outlined here includes approximately:

■$55 billion to spur demand and assist those most in need.
■$70 billion in aid for states and localities.
■$50 billion for tax cut stimulus.
■$175 billion for infrastructure investments in stimulus and recovery, including $100 billion in green job creation.

And that is the “good news” what we are not seeing or being told, is what is going to happen in the future.  When all of these federally slopped hogs come back to the trough next year for even more money.

Today, after investing almost half of the $700 billion appropriated by Congress to buttress the capital reserves of the banking system, the evidence suggests that the Treasury and the Federal Reserve have not achieved their goal of easing the cost or availability of capital. Instead, the major banks are cutting back credit, increasing fees and looking for ways to further solidify their balance sheets. In other words, “the people who promised to have your best interests at heart, have already reneged on the deal.”

The lesson for the major commercial banks in the wake of AIG’s collapse was simple: Do everything in your power to rebuild your financial strength and stabilize your credit ratings. Cut back lending, reduce outstanding credit facilities, increase fees, conserve capital, and rebuild your balance sheets. In sum, the lesson for the commercial banks is that if you want to survive — if you don’t want to be the next AIG — you should not do any of the things — such as increase lending — that the Treasury is trying to get you to do.  Now you might think that all of this is new thinking, but it isn’t.

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.

Thomas Jefferson

Does President-Elect Obama represent the change we need? His mainstream appointments — largely veterans of the Clinton administration — have sparked a clamor from worried supporters. A full 31 of his 42 picks so far, are Ex-Clinton pro’s or in other words, it’s the same old circus.  But in one of the critical challenges facing the country — how to get the country out of what will be the worst downturn since the Great Depression — Obama is calling for dramatic and long overdue change.

While President Bush continues to oppose any major plan for Main Street, Obama has been calling for a substantial recovery program, focused on public investments rather than tax cuts.

And Congress must do all this by NOT giving GM, Ford and Chrysler the $34 billion they are asking for in “loans” (a few days ago they only wanted $25 billion; that’s how stupid they are — they don’t even know how much they really need to make this month’s payroll. If you or I tried to get a loan from the bank this way, not only would we be thrown out on our ear, the bank would place us on some sort of credit rating blacklist).  Like a freshly pulled bathroom drain plug, our way of life seems to be shooting down the pipe, and no one appears to be listening.  What was our sturdiest generation seasoned by World War II, is gradually fading and now that we are in charge, we are failing miserably.  They left us in fairly good shape, and now that we are running the ship of state, everything seems to be out of control.

Let’s call a spade a spade here.

GM’s outstanding stock is worth about $3 billion on the current market, why doesn’t the government just outright purchase the company, throw the current managers out, and hire new people to run the company (that would be change).  This is a bargain, considering the $18 billion they want now, and who knows what they will want in the future?  They are going to default on the note in the end, and we are going to own it outright anyway.  Why not get it for the bargain price, instead of the inflated bloated overpriced pig they are offering for market share now.  I change the channel … no help there either.

Then the media moved onto Foreign Policy.

It’s too early to tell what changes Hillary Clinton will bring to Barack Obama’s foreign policy, but she’s already had an enormous effect on his brand. Her addition to his team has turned “No Drama Obama” into “Mo’ Drama Obama.” Hillary’s appointment isn’t even official, but the Obama/Clinton narrative has already left the realm of politics. Its twists, turns, shadings, and complex emotions are the stuff of literature (When Hillary Met Barack. Sleepless in Chappaqua. You’ve Got Fundraising Email).

Late into the day and I find myself in an old familiar surrounding, the backyard, staring up at the sky and there are never any answers in the sky.  Some of us seek anesthesia of escape in strange forms, some of us seek the validation of everyone-thinks-alike media tailored to one ideological or political mindset.  We separate into our niches, shredding the fabric of our common future.

You get what you pay for … At least “you used to get what you paid for.”

Nowadays, I don’t know what it is we are getting, and it is hard to see the results, when you find yourself “constantly bending over and taking it in the shorts.”  I hope Mr. Obama understands that “if you are not the lead horse, then the view is always going to be the same.”

I am driving a 12 year old truck, that passes every thing but a gas station, and on most days, the best of days, “it might start on a cold Oklahoma morning.”

I sure wish someone would be kind enough to bail me out of it.


Number Six Hundred

Greetings.  If you haven’t been here before and this is your first time, welcome to Creative Endeavors, The Home Of  Today is a milestone for us, this is our 600th post this year, in the past 9 months we have posted to this blog-page a plethora of articles, some good, some not so good, a bunch of them were not even worthy of tossing into the fire.

But my, my they were so much fun.

In the past 15 days we have had over 160,000 people come by this site, which I certainly believe establishes it as a “Fast Growing Blog” and in this time span of some nine months, three quarters of a million visitors have come to this site, to stop, read, browse and comment. We might not be the best, but we are in the top 100 consistently and with wordpress, Live Journal or any other social networking site, that is a worthy accomplishment.

Creative Endeavors is one of the fastest growing blogs and we plan to grow even more in the future.  It is our profound hope to see at least one million people stop by and visit this blog by our Anniversary date which is March 12th, 2009 …… tell all your friends, help us out, spread the word!

As always we want you to stop by from time to time and watch us do just that.  Add your two cents into the comments and we will keep a light on in the window for you like the hotel chain advertises.  We always accept and welcome your company … This is and will continue to be …. One of the fastest and best reading blog pages on and any other social networking site and it is important that you be a part of it.


We Need to Get the Bloom Back on the Rose

The United States has an economic imperative to develop reliable, affordable,
clean sources of energy and use them more efficiently.

We Have Bubbles, Lot‘s and lot’s of Bubbles

Post Falls Idaho Two new waterfall-style fountains welcoming visitors here are a tempting target for vandals. The city said pranksters most recently filled the fountains with dish soap, forming a wall of foam 10 feet high. A fund raising effort has been launched to pay for a $3,000 lighting upgrade.  Rubber duckies are an option.

Another Honor of Public Service

Raleigh North Carolina Insurance Commissioner Jim Long has bequeathed his title of “oldest rat in the barn” to Secretary of State Elaine Marshall – along with a hunk of cheddar cheese. Long is the longest serving Democrat on the Council of State. He didn’t run for re-election. Marshall, also a Democrat, was the first woman on the panel when she was elected in 1996.

Speaking of Rats

OJ Simpson is scheduled to be sentenced on Friday for his conviction of kidnapping and extortion charges, which could mean life in the slammer for the Heisman Trophy Winner and present holder of low-life of the year award in America.  His attorney’s are hoping for a speedy sentencing so that they might appeal and get the “juice” back on the street while appealing his conviction which could take upwards of a year or more.  No word on what the official line is on him at the Casino’s.

Trouble On Walton’s Mountain

Charleston West Virginia State officials are looking for someone to encourage West Virginia natives to come home. And they’ve decided that no one is better for the role than a real West Virginian. The Department of Commerce is sponsoring an essay contest to find a resident to promote the state to those who have left home. None of the Walton Family could be located, and John Boy hasn’t been seen in years.  Entry forms are at

Ahead of the curve

Once again, I pick up the paper and there it is “after” we have already run something on it.  Now they are saying that American’s are purchasing firewood and alternate forms of heating equipment in record numbers.  Shipments of wood stoves and fireplace inserts which can more efficiently burn firewood are up 54% in the first six months of this year over last year.  Some folks spent as much as $750 a month to heat their homes last winter, and there were even reports of desperate people in New England burning household furniture to stay warm.  As the price of motor fuel and groceries, other household staples continue to rise, Americans are seeking out alternative measures to insure they stay warm this winter.

A New Bail Out

Hillary Clinton is now in debt $7.5 million to consultants and vendors at the end of October according to election reports.  Her campaign committee sent an e-mail to supporters Tuesday inviting them to congratulate the New York senator on her nomination as Secretary of State and to also while they were at it, drop a buck or two in the envelope for the cause.  Why doesn’t she just declare herself a bank and get the way the rest of ’em are getting it, seems to be working pretty good for everyone else.

More High Numbers For The Slap Happy Xpress

Mr. Obama continues to get high numbers on his performance so far from the American public.  A Gallup Poll finds, even at a time the public is down about the economy, they are up on his performance.  More than three of four Americans, including a majority of Republicans (who generally do not like anyone period) approve of the job Mr. Obama had done so far.  He needs this kind of broad based support for the job ahead of him.

Meanwhile at the White House, Shorty was spotted off in the corner, muttering something about the difference between a chimichanga, and enchilada, and a quesadilla.  He is after all, headed back to Texas.

It’s an attitude thang Y’all … Doubt if you would understand.

#600 another one in the bag!  Stick around, we are just getting warmed up.


“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

Cuddling with Yangyang

Now that the election is officially over, what happens to all that money that is left over?  I was wondering, if they (the people that helped get Mr. Obama elected) will get a Christmas bonus.  It appears that everyone else is getting a wonderful package of something this year, everyone but the taxpayer that is.

I wonder how much NBC, CBS and ABC will get?  I am also noting that the stock market, ever since the election has concluded, has been in decline.  You know what the means don’t ya?

“The Stock Market is racist.”

Where is Joe Biden?  All of a sudden, he is nowhere to be found.  Could it be that because of the recent choice of Hillary he has decided to just sulk, wasn’t Old Joe picked for his “expertise in the foreign field?”  Barack Obama is “either shrewd or delusional” picking Hillary.  I don’t know what is up with that, but I cannot figure it out to save my life.

Thanks are in order.

Recently the Obama camp put out a note thanking the press for their coverage and John McCain thanked them also for that “one positive story” they ran on him last December.  I hear Ann Couter has fallen and broke her jaw, and it is now wired shut.  Rush however is reported to be doing just fine, on some days you win a few and you lose a few.

C’mon Orin are you outta your mind?

Senator Orin Hatch from Utah is proposing that outgoing President Bush give convicted felon (his new title) Ted Steven’s a pardon.  Now the door is officially kicked open to grant a pardon to a convicted felon, “for his years of faithful service to the country.”  What a crock.

The man should get probation for the rest of his natural life, he should forfeit his pension and/or benefits, and should be dismissed from the highest body in the land.  He is a disgrace, he is not a national hero.  Senator Hatch needs to sit back down in the cheap seats and be quiet.

Recently I came across this little eye-opener.

Several years ago I was in a training course on Capitol Hill in which we had an instructor from the Library of Congress. She explained that it was her job to answer any question posed by a member of Congress. She told us that the two dumbest questions she’d ever heard were printed out, framed, and hanging on her office wall.

The first was a Congressman who called one day saying he needed information “on the pros and cons of child abuse.” The second was a Senator who called at 11:15 one morning saying that he needed to know by 11:30 “what Abraham Lincoln did after leaving office.”

Dumbfounded, she told the Senator “he took a very slow train ride back to Illinois.”  For this the Senator thanked her and hung up the phone.

The instructor then turned to our class and said “THESE are the people running our country!” If she’s still alive our instructor is probably saying the same thing about Orrin Hatch today.  As much as I am afraid to say this …  “I don’t believe even Bush is this stupid to consider pardoning this guy.” … But I have been wrong about Bush before.

Don’t get sick … Man, don’t get sick.

I just finished a bout with some especially nasty stuff, at first I thought it was food poisoning but now, I am not sure.  Vomiting, diarrhea all the associated nasty stuff.  Made me think of all these poor souls in Asia, Africa, third world countries, that deal with this type of sickness on a daily basis because of bad water.  I cannot imagine how miserable life would be if this was an ongoing all the time thing, it surely was not fun for me.

And to top it off, it is very expensive these days to get sick.  Taking a look at the health care stats in the Bush/Rove era, it’s clear that most Americans have seen a decline in their health care at the same time that health insurance companies have reaped tremendous gains:

Since 2000, the ranks of the uninsured have grown by 7.2 million.  Health care premiums have doubled under Bush. Employer-sponsored health insurance premiums have risen from $5,791 in 1999 to $12,680.00 in 2008.  The fastest growing component  fastest growing component of health care is health insurers’ administrative costs.

Enrollment in Medicare private plans doubled. Through such plans, insurers “have increased the cost and complexity of the program without any evidence of improving care.”  The combined profits of the nation’s largest insurance companies and their subsidiaries increased by over 170 percent between 2003 and 2007.

Now there are two good reasons to live in Canada

First, they have socialized medicine and it is cheap, not the best, but it is reasonable.  And their courts have just ruled that if you are obese you are officially “disabled” and therefore have the right to two seats on an airliner for the price of one.  So go ahead, have that extra piece of Canadian Bacon this morning, it really doesn’t matter in Canada.

Bad Week to be a Russian

Global market forces are starting to apply in the Soviet Union and a recent survey has found that the average Russian is drinking about six times less vodka due to financial hardships.  The government has to to do something for these people trying to afford the most basic essentials of life.

And finally as promised yesterday (Tuesdays Funnies).

Anthropomorphism, after a Chinese college student climbed into a zoo pen so he could hug a panda  bear.  “Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him” said the student from his hospital bed.  “I didn’t expect he would attack.  I don’t remember how many times I got bit.”

Kind of reminds me of my first wife … she was so dog-gone cute and cuddly in the beginning … but towards the end … well it just brought a tear to my eye it did.


Salacious – Sad – Sunny

Welcome to the Creative Endeavors home page and gift shop … How may we serve you? Trusting that you had a marvelous weekend and things were pleasant and comfortable, it is now time to once again to face the new week.

What will this week bring?

Sarah Palins email got hacked and someone got into her computer, someone spent several hours trying to get into John McCain’s computer, but that is okay, it was John McCain. An Al Qaeda video that has surfaced has been called by the Bush administration, propaganda, Iran said it was noteworthy, and Hollywood as expected, gave it an Emmy for best video of the year.

N.O.W. (the National Organization For Women) has announced that they are endorsing Obamma for the presidential ticket, you know who Obamma is, the guy that doesn’t have a woman on his ticket. An Islamic cleric has legalized marriages between adult males and girls as young as nine years old. In related news, my cracker neighbor has just announced that he is converting to Islam.

In a recent poll, 57% verses 47% said that they would rather watch football with Obamma than with John McCain. However in another poll, 98% said that they would rather watch a football game with Sarah Palin, than with Joe Biden.

You remember Joe Biden don’t you. He is the guy who said that “FDR during the depression came on TV and got everyone up to speed on the crisis at hand, and that he was a take charge guy.”

Unfortunately, it was Herbert Hoover and sorry Joe, TV had not been invented at that time. Close but no cigar.  I know that you have to be a U.S. Citizen to be President of the United States, do you have to be a high-school graduate to be in Congress?  How can all these people “consistently get it wrong?”

When I heard that McCain’s running mate had named her children, Track, Willow, Bristol, Piper, and Trig I was kind of taken back. A lot of us like to believe that this is the country we grew up in, where people gave their kids names like Alameda, Savannah or Puff Daddy.  I miss Hillary.  Hillary after all was from Arkansas, a southern state, where things occur naturally.

Like the daughter coming in and sayin …  “Momma, Billy Ray stuck his Henry Johnson in my who-ha, and now my tummy is gettin’ big … If’n it’s a boy Momma, can we name him Skeeter?”

Over the weekend the Japanese announced a new fast speed camera lens. This thing is so fast, it can actually track Obamma changing his positions on Iraq, National Defense and gun ownership. China-Mart still has regular lenses on sale, these being much slower are perfect for capturing images of McCain driving down the interstate at 35 MPH in the Straight Talk Express in the FAST LANE with his left blinker on.

The Food Network has changed their site, and it is almost impossible to find the TV shows and the recipes for the wife, she is miffed and frankly, so am I. What is it that makes these geeks constantly go in and tinker with sites and change them around? Why cannot they just leave it alone, when it is working just fine, and is not irritating the old geezers out there such as myself.

BTW (by the way) thanks for the encouraging emails on my recent doctor visit in preparation for another year of life.

I wasn’t feeling all that well, so I checked in for a check up, and the doctor said, “I have some disturbing news for you Mr. Smith. According to the latest lab work, you don’t have much time left.” Of course I responded with “that is terrible!, how long do I have Doc?” He paused a little and then said “Ten” and again … I flipped out totally and asked him … “Weeks? Months? What is it?” and the doctor interrupted and said …. “Nine … Eight …”

Been slow this weekend, Cracker Boy is changing up his webpage, Author is writing a piece on the dash, but her being English and all, she is calling it the “Mind The Gap.” I think it has something to do with the dash on your tombstone, the interval of time between when you are born and you die, but I am not sure. Local Malcontent is strangely silent, but he is in “love” so that is understandable.

There is this horrible email floating around on the A.I.G. $85 million dollar buy-out that is as bogus as the day is long, don’t buy into it.  Some really bad math in this thing, about as bad as Palin and Bidens’ recollections on past history. The usual assortment of the “this guy is a dirty low down no good egg sucking dog and cannot be trusted” floating around too.

Or in other words … Thirty-seven more days.

Well, if you will excuse me, I am gonna go watch the Food Network, today they are going to have Gina and Pat cook up some of their daughters’ favorite foods. With BBQ Shrimp, Sloppy Joes, Rotel Dip and Piggie Butter Cookies, Shelby and Spencer are sure to enjoy their favorite dishes! Later on, Duff takes the staff on a field trip to a tattoo museum and the staff works on cakes including a duck hunt, frogs and lily pads and an EMT from Amarillo revives a run over armadillo.

So much for the Salacious, Sad and Sunny on Monday.