Enable distraction-free writing mode, and everything surrounding the editor will fade away when you start typing. Move your mouse out of the editor to reveal everything again. Or you could move into a cave somewhere in The Sierra Nevada’s and eat granola bars until the drought is over. Flush hard, Bakersfield needs the water.
Surfing around the net this morning, trying desperately to find something amusing, I am so tired of the negative vibes that seem to be reverberating around this world we all live in.
My efforts produced nothing. But I am going to forge ahead anyway, there is always another bend in the river of time.
When it all melts, and there isn’t anything wet left to drink, what will you do?
OOO Thanks to Joey our leftcoast correspondent. Cartoon courtesy of AmericanProgress.Org
“Wednesday … You have to be very careful these days, if you want to make it all the way to Friday.”
Too hot for that. A teacher in a Nashville high-school has been suspended for allegedly throwing a bucket of water over a pair of teenagers he saw kissing in a hallway. The teacher, not named by the school, posted on his Facebook page that his dousing of the pair “seemed to work and they stopped” and then he added “keep me in your prayers, peeps.”
My dad used to throw water on dogs all the time to make them stop, so what is the big deal? The next thing you know, the Chess Club will be banning plunging necklines and major displays of cleavage by the female players.
Where will it all end?
Three strikes and you are out. A las Vegas man visiting friends in Oregon was stopped three times in one day for speeding. The first time it was 105 mph, 98 mph and 92 mph respectively. You would have thought he would have gotten the message the first time. But I cannot give him too much trouble, in my younger days I got three tickets in one day while riding my Harley Davidson motorcycle, so I will cut him some slack. I used to drive to California on a weekly basis and got enough tickets to wallpaper my room, so there should be some understanding here.
Why people are in such a hurry is beyond me.
Wind killers. The interstate is full of wind turbine equipment this week, long carriers headed out to Western Oklahoma wind-farms. These huge turbine like windmills are erected in wind prone areas of the prairie and they are natural killers for migratory birds, Eagles, Red Tailed Hawks and owls. Funny how it is we write all these well intentioned laws and the oil companies and their cronies just ignore them.
Two of America’s migratory wildlife laws are violated on a daily basis in this state and I assume elsewhere by these wind turbine machines. The migrator Bird Treaty Act and the Eagle Protection Act were both put in place to protect birds. Over the past twenty years the federal government has initiated hundreds of cases against oil, gas and electricity producers for breaking wildlife laws.
Yet the Obnama administration has never prosecuted a wind farm anywhere. The green people are guilty of even bigger hypocrisy. They complain that American’s do not study climate change but they ignore widespread evidence of bird deaths and the reduction of bird populations by these monsters of the prairie.
To save our planet and our environment, it seems, you first have to wreck it.
From the cradle to the grave. Three million more Americans age 65 and over are working today than a decade ago. Used to be you only saw them employed as Wally-World greeters, but that has changed. They now make up 18 percent of the workforce, up from 13 percent. Life is good in the Greatest Country in the World. It could be a lot worse, you could be stuck in some cave in Afghanistan with three feuding wives, eight children, five grandchildren and 10 very bored villagers and no ESPN.
Think about it.
Vote and do it often. As the race for a new American Superman continues my mailbox heats up, please stop sending me all this electronic political tripe. 65% of you feel like the current guy will be elected, which means that most likely 87% of the voters will vote for him, 63% of the independents and 42% of the Repub.’s will vote for him. In a recent survey they posed a question to the electorate (that is YOU in case you did not know) Question – Are there too many immigrants in America? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said “I am not understand the question please.”
I just love numbers, you can do just about anything you want with numbers.
Which really beats talking about Death … Taxes … And Romney.
I promise. Maybe we should just have them all sign a pledge to America and try it again. (Newt and the boys did that before and then they reneged on it) We would ask all candidates to sign a pledge that they were virgins before marrying, are not gay, and will not watch pornography during working hours and seldom eat at Chick Filet. The pledge could be tailor made to fit just about any moral clause you can think of, and say, here is an idea, we could do it like they do it, put some clauses or stipulations in there that are of a “undisclosed nature.”
Yeah, that might work.
Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go outside and scream! One of the few things in life left for me that I can still afford. We will call this a day, I am feeling a bad case of the blues coming on, and it is only Wednesday … You have to be very careful these days, if you want to make it all the way to Friday.
Alaska, somewhere north of the fortieth parallel …. Guilty as charged.
Alaskan Senator, Ted Stevens recently convicted on all seven counts by a jury in Alaska, vowed to “fight this with every ounce of energy I have.” Which is kind of ironic, as it was his close personal relationship with an ENERGY CEO that got him in all this hot water to begin with. Why is it that politicians seem to think that they are bound over by a different set of rules and guidelines than the rest of us. What is it that makes them believe they are above the law?
Kind of like all these people who sit at stoplights at busy intersections, and pick their nose while waiting for the light, do they really believe they are invisible and the rest of us cannot see them?
The best bargain at the Salvation Army thrift store was a Richard Simmons videotape. But Mikela Mercier, 11, passed on buying it for a few coins after she found $1,000 in $100 bills inside. Mikela immediately told her mother they needed to turn the tape in. Store manager Jimmy Thennes praised Mikela for her honesty. No word from Richard Simmons at this time.
The Vise-Grips plant there will close permanently after Friday, ending about 70 years of operations and costing 330 jobs. Irwin Industrial Tools, which operates the plant, is moving operations to China to lower costs. William Petersen, a Danish immigrant, invented the tool nearly 90 years ago in DeWitt. They ought to take a pair of ’em, and slap them on the crotch of the guy who thought up the idea of shipping American jobs overseas ….. and then sqeeeeeeeeeeze.
In other related Nebraska news, the state is now saying it is going to re-work its safe haven law. People have been driving across state lines to drop off unwanted children, two dozen of them recently, one as old as 17 years of age. The law, which took effect in July, prohibits guardians from being prosecuted for leaving a child at a hospital.
When Snow White dropped by last Tuesday and left five of the dwarfs, the governor declared that he had enough. This law must be re-written to protect the original intent he declared.
Final Spin Cycle
Whirlpool is laying off 5,000 workers and DreamWorks isn’t making any movies …. We seem to be still hemorrhaging around the edges, has anyone noticed. When will Washington figure out we cannot all deliver pizza’s to each other, some of us need jobs.
Here is the new official – unofficial policy …. We got the money ….. Now screw you.
There seems to be this “new attitude” by lenders and lending associations around the country. Even though your credit is perfect, it certainly could be better, and now they are demanding just that. Home loans are no longer a sure thing. This is the new, dynamic landscape of mortgage lending today a new world in which even those with good credit are having trouble getting mortgages or the loan terms that they want.
All this at a time when politicians and economists are wanting to reduce bloated inventories in most cities, that are prone to fail. Compliments of our good friends, the bankers, the only people in the world who can understand the concept of eleven windows …. And three tellers.
Chicken to go
Paris Kentucky — When a Chicken Ranch restaurant employee found her boss lying in an apparent pool of blood, she ran out screaming and called police. But the scenario was a Halloween prank by Joe Watkins, police said. The worker may have the last laugh; police charged Watkins with making a false report to lure her to the scene.
Chillin In Cheyenne
Cheyenne Wyoming — Natural gas prices were so high this summer that regulators warned heating prices in January 2009 could be as much as 79% higher than in January 2008. But Darrell Zlomke, assistant state Public Service Commission administrator, says now that falling natural-gas wholesale prices suggest the increase is more likely to be about 33%. That is the bad news, now here is the good. The used furniture for firewood program seems to be holding on low prices in the area.
Now will everyone who got a 33% raise in wages this year, please raise your hand …. Thought so.
The warming effects of Global Warming are affecting flowers, animals in Yellowstone and they are starting to disappear. Studies are now showing that the warming of the Earth’s atmosphere over the past few decades has caused a loss of many the flower that Henry David Thoreau reordered in his book Walden and also has contributed to a decline in several species’ of native animals once common in Yellowstone.
Two headed fish in the Frazier River in Canada, frogs disappearing in the United States and around the world, species that have been actively protected for most of our lives, are going into severe decline.
Now tell me about “Clean Coal” again … I am confused.
While on this election crap is going on, noticeable “real world news” seems to have taken a back seat to most everything else. Other than the recent hurricane in the gulf, another significant thing occurred this week that did not get any attention at all.
A huge chunk of the Arctic broke off, a piece of the ice shelf roughly the size of Manhattan has broken away from Ellesmere Island which is in Canada’s northern arctic. One more dramatic indicator of the changing global weather patterns that the Bush administration and our senator Jim Inhofe says is simply not happening.
The 19 square mile chunk of ice is now adrift in the arctic ocean. Also two more large formations of ice broke off the Serson Ice Shelf, shrinking that feature by about 47 square miles, and representing about 20% of the total ice flow. Earlier this year another 160 square mile chunk of Antarctic ice broke off the southern pole and disintegrated.
2008 is proving to be the hottest summer on record and also the wettest. The hurricane season seems to be in high gear and things are a changing. Bet your last dollar on that. It is time someone, anyone, give serious thought to what is happening.
On issues where we’ve already made up our minds, I can’t say a “picture is worth a thousand words” – often it might be better just to skip the words altogether, but nine times out of ten, it conveys what needs to be.
The handwriting is on the wall … We need to pay attention.
The cartoon was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)
Portland police are not above the parking laws, even if they’re hungry. Officer Chadd Stensgaard, who parked his patrol car illegally while making a dinner-break stop at a Japanese restaurant, must pay a $35 fine, Traffic Court Judge Terry Hannon ruled Wednesday.
The infraction came to light thanks to Eric Bryant, who was at the restaurant with friends when Stensgaard parked in a curbside no-parking zone. Bryant, an attorney, filed a citizen complaint against the officer in March.
Bad cop – No donut.
Three men were arrested outside of Reno, Nevada for spray painting rocks and defacing federal property, trees and trail markers this week. The damage was estimated at around $1,000 and the names of the accused were as follows: Alfredo Perez, Efrain Beccerra, and Gabriel Amaya, more than likely some of those “good folks who only come north to work and a better life.” Buy ’em a can of spay paint so that they can write their lawyer in Mexico City a letter.
We have some new headlines for The Bad News Gazette.
Attempts to renew Little League activities fail once again due to the complete ban of all competitiveness for children. Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Silicon Valley janitors approve new contract promising $156.76/hr starting salary. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Cloned cockroaches presenting significant pest problem. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Al Gore loses big toe from frostbite in the Artic filming a documentary on the last iceberg.
Barry Bonds lobbies Major League Baseball for entry into the Hall of Fame; says even though his hat size is now up to 22 is not proof he ever took steroids. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. Oklahoma City hopes to have a name for its looted basketball team by the end of the year. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030. Major air carriers across the U.S. annouce a $14 fee for just “inquiring about a possible flight to anywhere.”
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. Some American’s have still not received their stimulus check. It is now legal in Vermont to burn your furniture during the winter months in order to stay warm. Temperatures set a new record in downtown Los Angeles, 126* and rising. Glacier National Park is renamed Big Rocky National Park (no more glaciers).
Las Vegas puts online a second sewage treatment plant and the bad news is now there are ample supplies of treated sewage water … The good news is, there doesn’t seem to be enough to go around. Utah voters set to approve smoking only in privately owned bathrooms in homes. While the ban on all smoking by non-residents remains the Law of the Land. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton unite over proposal to ban the word “ask” and replace it with “axe” in all U.S. Schools.
The novel To Kill a Mockingbird is banned from schools as it promotes a depiction of a hate crime and actually encourages racism. Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines and hanging chads. American Idol losers go on USA tour and sing Old Beatles tunes, the ghost of John Lennon appears in New York City asks a cab driver to “please just shoot me again.”
Creative Endeavors writes a post on Coffee and WordPress.Com actually puts it in the category that it was linked to entitled … believe it or not … “Coffee.”
Have to go, almost time to catch the bus downtown. With the high price of gasoline, I am doing my best to find a suitable mode of alternative transportation, which believe me, is not easy in Oklahoma. I have to walk two blocks north of here to catch the bus. There is a bench which is usually occuppied by some old geezers just like me, headed downtown.
Often the conversation is stimulating and quite interesting.
First Okie: “Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?” The second Okie ponders on the subject a little, then turns and says …. “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?”
All that … And the fare is only a buck.
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