Fluffy Is A Killer

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Most of the time when I am really curious about something, I would institute a survey on the issue and see what the results might be.  But I have discovered that survey’s usually are ineffective on webpages and most people do not respond.  The last survey we did here, was as follows:  380 views on the page, 88 viewers that day that were new to the site, and only 1 vote cast.

Pretty bad.  This is why we do not do surveys.

If you were however to do a survey on pets, I would guess that the majority of website owners or Internet habitants have a cat for a pet, versus a dog or some other animal.  I see them (cats) mentioned all the time in their respective posts and/or photo’s.  Having no real data to support this, I would venture an opinion that the cat is most likely, the number one pet in America.  But I do not know for sure.

Recently I read a survey on the felines.  Some the things it presented were surprising to say the least.  When let outside the typical house cat turns into a killing machine.  I would wager that most cat owners were unaware of that fact.  University of Georgia researchers made this discovery when they strapped a camera onto the collars of some 60 domestic cats.  During a period of a week or so, they intently observed what the feline’s were doing while outside.

They found that 44% of the cats when released from the home, immediately went hunting, but they only brought home about a quarter of their prey.  This incidentally was broken down into lizards, snakes, frogs, rabbits, chipmunks, and birds.  This survey is interesting in the fact that it presents us with a totally different look at our pets, and what they do when outside.

It suggests that previous estimates of damage that America’s 74 million house cats will do to wildlife in general (this does not take into account wild cats, feral cats which live wild).  It appears that previous estimates on the damage the cats were capable of was underestimated.

Remember the survey’s before did not include the animals the cats killed, ate or left behind.  All of this is important because why?  The American Bird Conservancy says that cat predation is one reason why one in three American bird species is in serious decline.

The camera footage also gives us a good glimpse into what it is that kitty does when it is outside and on the roam.  It also proves the old adage:  “Curiosity killed the cat.”

Surprisingly, cats are a danger to themselves.  The video shows them engaged in potentially life-threatening behaviors’ like crossing roads, eating and drinking unknown substances, and exploring tight spaces.

And here is the kicker in all this.  

Several of the cats in the survey, unbeknown to their owners, also routinely visited a second family for extra treats and petting.  Next time you finally succumb to the constant whining and persistent mind numbing meowing of Fluffy to get outside, when you open the door and let him/she out, think about what the damage to the environment you are doing this day.

Fluffy it seems is a natural hunter and killer, despite his purring demeanor and charm.

OOO

What folks have been reading this week at Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Looking Back On It All … 2012  
Missed Opportunities  
Christmas Last Year 2012  
Fluffy Is A Killer  
Lock N Load  
Mr. Gorsky  
The Worry Tree

Speedos, Banana Slings, and Fairy Tales

Hugo Chavez, the current dictator in Caracas, Venezuela is moving all of the country’s gold from London back to Venezuela, all 211 tons of it.  He is sure that it will be attached or frozen by some government other than his own, so he is bringing it back to Venezuela.  It most likely will be used to finance his re-election campaign.

That is a lot of gold, but here is some real chump change.  It is reportedly the “largest gold coin” ever minted.  Let’s see you hide this one under the bed.

Los Angeles and several other cities around the country are reporting a new rise in robberies in area’s that deal specifically with gold.  With the price in the near $2K range, it just seems to bring out the worst in people.

In Cherokee country, Georgia for instance, they now require all gold buyers to fingerprint sellers and send their names to the sheriffs office.  Los Angeles police say jewelry-store owners aren’t the only ones who should be worried; they’re also warning members of the public “against flaunting their bling.”

Here in Oklahoma, we do not have this problem, our life savings consisting of a Folgers Coffee Can filled with spare change are well hidden and cleverly disguised, on top of the refrigerator in the kitchen.

A 61 year old beach lifeguard is suing New York state, claiming he was fired for refusing to wear a skin tight Speedo swimsuit.  He worked at Jones Beach for over 40 years before being told he must take his annual test in Speedo.  His answer?  “I wore a speedo when I was in my 20’s.  But come on.  There should be a law prohibiting anyone over the age of 50 from wearing a Speedo.”

Last year we were in Florida, and I could not even go down to the beach.

All the little kids would grab me by my ankles and started yelling to each other …. “Get him in the water before he dies!”  Then there is the matter of tan lines …  but we are not going there … No sir.  I have to agree, keep the banana slings for the younger set.  (Hey, don’t blame me.  WordPress.com says that your page is much, much more interesting with pictures!)

If you are still not convinced … For all you middle-aged-die-hards that want to look better in one of these, we have provided a link for you.  It’s all there … HOW TO LOOK BETTER IN  A SPEEDO … HOW TO INCREASE YOUR BULGE IN A SPEEDO … HOW TO WEAR A SPEEDO … HOW TO FIT INTO A BOY’S SPEEDO .. HOW TO LEARN TO SWIM IN  A SPEEDO AND LAST … SPEEDO ETIQUETTE.  Just click on the photo and make a wish.

(Speaking of making a wish?  Nice blend, yeah I know … Thanks)

Has anyone seen Tinker belle?

A Mexican man has captured what he says is a real-life fairy and preserved it in formaldehyde.  He says he was picking guavas when he saw something he initially thought was a firefly.  When he caught it, he saw an inch-long red-and-yellow humanoid creature, and “I know that it was a fairy godmother.”  (made me wonder if he has seen Elvis or any UFO’s lately?)

He hasn’t explained why it died.

Hundreds of local peasants have lined up to pay him to see preserved fairy in a glass bottle, which some say looks incredibly like a plastic toy.  Good lesson here.  If you catch a fairly, make sure you poke some air-holes in the bottle and do not pick guavas without a suitable head covering, when the sun gets high in the sky.

Here is a classic from the … Please don’t talk to me I am stupid files.

Long Beach, California police arrested a man for taking a photograph of “no aesthetic value.”  The man who takes photos for a local newspaper, was detained after snapping shots of an oil refinery.  Police say photography is considered “suspicious activity” if officers determine that it isn’t “regular tourist behavior.”

And you thought The Patriot Act or Sarah Palin was scary?

Consider this.

Rick Perry has never lost an election in 27 years of holding public office in Texas.  Might pay to remember .. “A politician is a man who will double-cross that bridge when he comes to it.”  When I look at this guy and then I think back to George Wubya, well, it just kind of curls the hair on the back of my neck.

Bar Hopping for dummies 101 ….

A new smartphone app guides drinkers to the closest purveyor of beer, and can be calibrated for favorite brand and cheapest price.  When asked what this app should be called, these were the clear cut winners.

EinStein
Head-hunter
IHops

I’ll drink to that …  Hump Day!  Hang in there wage slaves, you almost have it made.

OOO

What’s Up?

Wednesday, middle of the week for a five day wage slave working in Oklahoma in order to support the Evil Empire.  Let’s get started.

So what does it take in today’s world to be happy? 

Perhaps you need to be Alvin Wong, who may be the happiest man in the nation.  Wong meets all the criteria in Gallup’s “Well-Being Index”: He’s a tall, Asian-American, observant Jew, who is at least 65 and married with children, lives in Hawaii, and makes $120,000 a year.  Which I suppose beats cutting firewood outside of Little Rock, Arkansas.

(Me?  Aw, just give me the Hot Ball and one number and I am in heaven.)

The Back Haul: 

You ever wonder what is in all the containers on the container ships headed back east to China?  Well, they are not all empty, some of them carry American products back to the Orient.  A small town in Georgia has created a mini manufacturing boom by the making and selling of chopsticks.

It turns out that Georgia’s trees, specifically the sweet gum and poplar are ideal wood for making the eating implements.  The Georgia factory is cranking out some 10,000,000 units per week.  Now before you laugh, consider this, that is 80 American jobs right now, and plans for 70 more in the near future.

(Washington, are you listening?)

Maybe Bus Rally in Tenn

I am hearing about a possible non-event in the making.  What would you do if you sponsored a bus rally and then no one showed up?  Which is specifically happening right now to the sponsors of a bus rally in Tennessee which may happen soon … and then again … May not.  Turns out that a lot of pikers told the sponsors they were coming, and then wanted to put it all on VISA, MasterCard or PayPal, and now they are nowhere to be seen. 

That is, as they say, “Priceless.”

One participant is saying:  “What is a worry though… Only two weeks till the event and even though people are saying they are coming, they are not getting registered. I promise you, this is going to be a premiere event.”  Which brings up and interesting question.  “If it flops and does not happen … do you get a refund?”  Don’t bet the farm on it.

(Good lesson here, never count your chickens until the eggs hatch)

Sign of the Times: 

Hallmark Cards now is producing a new greeting card for all those poor slobs that have lost their jobs.  They are marketed under a line of “sympathy cards” and have such tid bits as:  “Don’t think of it as losing your job” reads one, “Think of it as a time out between stupid bosses.” Nothing like looking at the bright side of life, eh?

(Maybe it is me, but I just don’t get it)

Don’t Squeeze The Charmin: 

Here is another one that I just don’t relate to personally.  This commercial on television where all the women are standing around and the announcer says … “Now women in America can finally tell us what they think about toilet paper.”  I’m also mesmerized by the commercial featuring middle-aged men gleefully celebrating their ability to drink water and drive long distances (I particularly enjoy that the slightly younger women in that one are turned on knowing that their old geezers don’t have to urinate frequently).

(Uh huh, sure)

It’s a bird … It’s a plane … It’s NASA

NASA recently lost a 6 ton satellite when it fell out of orbit and landed harmlessly in the South Pacific.  When the satellite disappeared off radar, one scientist was reported to have said, “Wow, did it hit Seattle?”  Now here you are, sitting in your living room, watching Dancin’ With The Stars and Chaz is doing the Paso-dob-ley and she is showing a lot of parts that her mama told her to cover up in high school and then boom! … A 1 ton Dooley pickup comes hurtling thru the ceiling …

(Now that, boys & girls is government science for you)

Cheer Up Dammit: 

Owning an aquarium is good for you, not so good for the inhabitants inside.  A new survey recently released, notes that ornamental fish kept in tanks bite, murder, and cannibalize each other and that they are doing this more often that they do in the wild.  Apparently it is because they’re angry about living in crowded, confined spaces.

(Sort of like the way I feel around the 15th of April)

The Times Are A Changin

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops has changed the word “booty” to “spoils: in a new translation of the Bible.  “Booty”, to younger generations, connotes a portion of the body, often shaken in time to music, rather than the spoils of war.  “We needed a new translation because English is a living language”.

Waaaaaaaaaaseup With Dat?

(This is better than a card, trust me)

As usual, comments section is open, let ‘er rip!

OOO

Thanks to Crackerboy for the link.

Had To Happen

Bought my fuel yesterday and it came to $79.02 which of course “shocked me somewhat.”  I have to admit, I was not ready for that, later on during the trip to town I amused myself by imagining that “I am only steps away from a one-hundred dollar tankful.”  Who in their wildest dreams would have ever imagined such a thing.  Certainly … not me.

smiling ladies

Some things and I suppose, people, age well.  Some things I suppose, like people, just get old.  Get cantankerous, out of sorts, and hard to deal with.  I often fall into that second category.  I didn’t fare all that well last week in the smile department, but this week, I am going to do better.  I am going to make a “concentrated effort to smile more, amuse myself, cheer up even if it kills me.”

This past week I have been suffering thru irritable male syndrome.  My testosterone levels have been lower than a New Orleans levy at flood stage and my brain, the part of my brain that is in charge of basic’s such as functioning, emotions, behavior, have been strangely out to lunch for most of the week.

The mere thought of me smiling about anything here lately, is as foreign to me as Obama speaking in Farsi when he begs for more oil.  I desperately want to smile, just isn’t all that much of a humorous nature here lately.  But I am gonna do better.

I have made up my mind that I AM GOING TO GO FOR IT!

Perhaps I need to get more sleep, that might be the problem.  I am finding out as I age, I need at least 8 hours of sleep a day, and 10 hours at night.  Sleep is the best thing, and the cheapest thing available to me these days.  I love to sleep, the best of two worlds, you get to be alive and unconscious at the same time.  And on some days, you can actually work in a nap.

That makes me smile.

It is not easy to say exactly what makes one box of odds and ends a valuable antique, and what makes another box a piece of junk.   But the thought of tossing one (out of our garage, which is full of the trash of man) into a dumpster …. That makes me smile.  It might be that throwing stuff away that is cluttering up your home is a cathartic experience that just feels good.  That too, makes me smile.

The mere thought of it upsetting the little woman’s applecart, that is just an added bonus … Hey, we are on a roll.

Not being able to yell out “Oh boy!” in Jonesboro, Georgia, or finding out that unrestrained giggling on the street is illegal in Helena, Montana; those insane laws make me smile.  It is illegal in the state of Oklahoma to tie your ass up within 50 ft of a courthouse, ass meaning donkey.  Which would be appropriate term for anyone drafting such legislation or allowing it to remain on the books.  Purchasing a new car for thousands of dollars in order to save hundreds on gas … that makes me smile.

When they announce on the news that they have busted some hooker and she has a black book that is full of politicians names …… that makes me smile.

Reading in the paper that the longest earthworm ever found in the world measured 22 ft. from head to toe, that makes me smile, I mean, where would one ever use stupid useless information like that?  Did you know that the word Mascara, a cosmetic applied to darken eyelashes comes from the Spanish word ma’scara, which in terms come from the Italian maschera, both of which mean, appropriately, “mask.”  The root of the words however come for Arabic maskharah, which means buffoon or clown.

Which is what I would be if I lived in San Francisco and used the stuff, that makes me smile.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have all the answers, and ninety percent of the time, I completely forget the questions.  My family physician told me that I have something he called Attention Deficit Disorder.  He said, “A.D.D. is a complex disorder, blah, blah, blah.”  I didn’t pay much attention to the rest of it.

This friend of mine, who happens to be from California, is back here to visit with the family.  We went out to eat yesterday and he said during lunch, “If you were to go camping out in the woods, and someone, late at night, snuck into your tent and molested you would you tell anyone about it?” And I thought about it a minute, and replied, “No way.  I don’t want no one to know something that terrible happened to me!” He smiled and then said ……… “You wanna go fishin’ this weekend?” ….

That … Makes me smile.

So as you can see, I am just about clueless.  Happy and stupid this morning, pour me another cup of that coffee and don’t worry about my road rage, I will take care of it. I don’t have any idea what makes some people smile and others to frown.  I don’t know why some people consistently have a “nice day” and others never seem to see it materialize.

This morning, at this very moment, I am smiling a great deal, because the computers’ ISP is down, the stoooopid computer doesn’t know this, and it keeps trying to update me, download me, and is getting frustrated as all get-out (Okie Expression) because it is not being allowed to function in a rational manner.  It has sent me numerous dialogue boxes and/or messages asking  that I re-establish the link.

Mid week, I get this letter from my “friendly State Farm Agent” and it says, rather tersely, “our records indicate that your present telephone number is no longer 405- **** and that number is no longer your number.  Please inform us of your new number immediately and any other cell phone numbers that you have.”

Yeah right, I don’t “immediately” do anything for anyone, yet alone a stinking insurance company.  Tossing that into the trash bin … that makes me smile.

And last but not least.  I think about all of my Amigo’s from down south.  The mere thought of knowing I have all these wonderful people coming to this country each and everyday and they are depending on me …. Now that … Believe it or not …  That makes me smile!

OOO

Everyday Heroes

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Gimme an A!  — “We gotcha your eh … We gotcha your eh!”

Jonesboro Georgia – A high school dance team at Jonesboro High School was disbanded after parents complained about a provocative routine performed at a basketball game Jan. 13. A school district spokeswoman said the eight-member group will not be allowed to perform or represent the school the rest of the school year. No disciplinary action was planned.  Too much school spirit I guess.

Indecent Proposal

Bismarck North Dakota – State senators decided they don’t want the state in the business of registering strippers and sex shops. They voted 45-1 to defeat a bill that sought to require sex businesses and nude dancers to register with the Tax Department. The bill also would have required sex workers to keep detailed records of their income.  The first time I ever heard the word “sex workers” was in reference to hookers working in India, but it seems to have migrated to America.  It really doesn’t matter, “if there is such a thing as sex workers” then I am definitely “unemployed” these days and that is a fact.

Wedded Bliss

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.  For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.  She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dishcloths and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. ‘When we were to be married,’ she said, ‘my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a dish cloth.’

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dish cloths were in the box.? She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

‘Honey,’ he said, ‘that explains the dish cloths, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?’

‘Oh,’ she said, ‘That’s the money I made from selling the dish cloths.’

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I’ll beat him to death, because I don’t know how to crochet.

Remember that old movie with Ryan O’Neil where the chick dies at the end and they say “Love is never having to say your sorry?” or some other hokey unbelievable line.  Love does NOT mean never having to say you’re sorry.  It means having to say you’re sorry over and over again, in new and different ways, every day, every week, every month, every year, until God grants you his mercy and you finally blissfully die.

That is love.

baracks-houseIt appears that Baracks House has finally run its course, and it is starting to wind down.  At one time, it hit an all time high of 128,411 hits in “one day” and that is certainly noteworthy.  Ever since the inauguration it has steadily declined in numbers and seems to be fading off into the sunset.  Each day the numbers decline and it becomes less popular, it enjoyed a good run, first posted in July of last year, it was a huge hit and numbers generator for this site.

What Makes A Hero?

The co-pilot of the jet that went down in the Hudson River last week received a heroism award this week.  What separates a hero from everyone else?  What is the dividing line between a hero and a dud.  I think about the Hudson River crash … and I wonder what I would have done … What would you have done?

Geraldo’s “conspiracy theory did not hold water either” that quietly faded away, which is what I would like to see the FOX Network do …. Just go away.  Flush Limbaugh and O’Riely in 2009.

Here is another strange thing about it.

Connecticut lottery officials had to stop selling tickets bearing the number 1-5-4-9 combination after the crash of the airliner.  So many people requested the combination that the lottery hit its 1,600 ticket quota the next day.  In the end it didn’t really matter, the numbers chosen were completely different.

People are really nuts aren’t they?

Reminds me of the one where the guy walked around all day long, muttering to himself, “Lord, give me six numbers on the lottery.”  … “Oh Lord, please give me a winning ticket on the lottery.” … “Oh Lord, just five numbers Lord, I don’t need it all to be happy.” … “Please Lord, if you give me a winning ticket on the lottery, I will tithe millions to the church.”

And then one day while walking down the street, a voice from heaven boomed down to this hapless soul who did not have a clue … The voice in a huge unearthly tone said … “Give me a break.  Buy a ticket!”

T.G.I.F. — Lookie there you made it.

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“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

Hump Day Fodder

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Let’s get busy boys!

WASHINGTON – House and Senate leaders marked the first day of the 111th Congress by preaching bipartisanship Tuesday and promising to start work quickly on President-elect Barack Obama’s economic proposals and issues ranging from climate change to health care.

Oaths of office were administered, anti-war protesters staged demonstrations and lobbyists cruised through a series of receptions to celebrate the day. More than a few new members said they were eager to get started.

Cheney administered the oath of office to several people and swore in Joe Biden.  Let us hope that he doesn’t turn old Joe into a Cat’s-paw like he did with Bush.

Oxymoron — National Intelligence.

Mr. Obama has picked the leaders of his intelligence team, taping former White House chief of staff Leon Panetta as CIA Director, and retired admiral Dennis Blair as head of National Intelligence.  Which is what we didn’t seem to have a lot of under this last regime of bozo’s.

During the 9-11 crisis I understand that Bush sent Connie to Ireland to pick up some sensitive information from an agent named Murphy.  Her instructions were to walk around the town using a code phrase until she met this fellow agent.  She found herself on a desolate country road and finally ran into an Irish farmer.

Hello” she said, “I am looking for a man named Murphy.”

Well you are in luck little lady” the farmer replied, “As it happens there’s a village right over the hill where the butcher is named Murphy, the baker is named Murphy, and three widows are named Murphy, matter of fact, my name is Murphy.”

Aha, Connie thought to herself, here’s my man.  So she whispered the secret code to the farmer:  “The sun is shining — the grass is growing — the cows are ready for milking.

Oh” said the farmer, “you are looking for Murphy the spy — he’s in the village over in the other direction.

Sin Tax — I told you Atlanta was a fun place

Atlanta – A legislator favors imposing a fee on strip club patrons. State Sen. Jack Murphy of Cumming said he’d like to see Georgia charge between $3 and $5 per person. The Republican said the money could go to child abuse programs and services for young people caught up in child prostitution or other sexual exploitation.

Taxing a lap dance, man, that is rich.  Wonder how much they will collect for a … oh never mind.

Now as an illustration of how impossibly wrong ALL OF THIS IS and how fast it can get out of control, the “Porn Industry” is asking for $5 billion in aid from the government.  Do you realize how stupid we must appear to be to the rest of the “sane people” inhabiting this planet.  You can read all about it here.

Letting it all hang out

VAIL, Colo.  – A guy who dangled upside down from a ski lift with his bare bottom exposed probably doesn’t want to hear any “ski bum” jokes.  Officials at Vail Resorts in Colorado say the 48-year-old man was trying to get on the Blue Ski basin lift on New Year’s Day. They haven’t said what went wrong, but he got hung up, and his pants came down.  Workers stopped the lift, backed it up 10 or 12 feet and rescued the man after about seven minutes. His name hasn’t been released.

Bystanders snapped photos and posted them on the Internet, showing a man who looks to be hanging by one ski boot, his ski pants and underwear apparently snagged in the chair and reaching no farther than his knees.  Now the resort wants to fire the employee who took the pictures on his day off and posted them to the net, claiming it was not in good taste.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

ST. PAUL, Minn — A scorned 21-year-old told her ex-boyfriend that he couldn’t prove she was the one who vandalized his apartment on three occasions – but then, police said, she posted a picture of the damage on MySpace. The woman was charged with two felonies for the vandalism.

According to a criminal complaint she doused the inside of his house with paint – splashing it on the walls, toilet, washing machine, computer and other furniture. She also allegedly filled the house with trash, impaled a teddy bear on a pole with a knife through its head, and caused other damage. The woman was still on the lam Tuesday.  Yeah, it sounds like she was set-up to me … Not!

Thinning of the herd

A German billionaire caught up in the world Banking/Wall Street Mess, has evidently stepped in front of a train thus ending his life and stopping his failed business empire that was sinking rapidly.  He is now the third known suicide worldwide to be caught up in this mess.  His death was listed as a railway accident, if he had jumped out of a window for instance, that would have been massive deceleration.

It’s official now – You are screwed.

Earlier in the week we reported that the fund for the television converters was going under, the government officially announced that it is now tapped out.  $1.34 billion in money ran out on Sunday, and now anyone who wants a converter box coupon will be placed on a waiting list.

Amazing, when you want it from them, you are on a list, when they want it, they just waltz in there and take it.

Now for the good news, only 103,000 people are on the list ahead of you.  18 million coupons have already been redeemed and now you will just have to wonder about it all.  Why women on TV always have skimpy low-cut blouses, are trim neat, appear fantastic, are always on top when they have sex with the guy next door.  And of course, “will I ever get a box and be able to watch television again?” $40-$70 for a box and no luck, trillions to a banker and you know the rest dont’cha?

Dancin’ with Jose — Cha-Cha-cha.

With dropout rates soaring among Hispanic students, mariachi music programs, long popular in parts of Texas and California, are spreading to schools across the country to help keep the nations largest and fastest-growing ethnic group academically engaged.  We can’t teach them English, nor civics, or manners but we are going to teach them all to dance?

The Best for Last — Laura Bush to publish a memoir

First Lady Laura Bush has just signed with Scribner Books to write her memoir.  A 2010 release date is expected, no word on how much she is being paid.  I would more than likely venture that her book will be vastly better than Sarah Palin’s or Joe the Plumber.  I can just see it there in my minds eye —

Chapter Two, it is late at night, the White House is eerily quiet, I look at George asleep in the bed, his head is on the pillow, he looks so at peace with the world.  The fruit jar full of gasoline is in my left hand, and the BIC lighter in my right, I tell myself over and over … trying to convince myself … It is for the good of the country, it is for the good of the country.”

I can’t wait.

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Tuesday Morning Epiphany

Tapped Out In Phoenix

The state could run out of money to pay its bills as early as next month and may have to borrow in the short term for the first time since World War II. An analysis by the state treasurer’s office shows that Arizona’s fund balance could dip to negative $50 million on Feb. 23 or by mid-March under a more optimistic scenario.  Not long ago, California was reporting the same problem, no money in the till.  It is amazing, they collect all of this money, tons of money, and they never seem to have enough.

One More Fallen Flag

Griffin Georgia – Spalding County officials said a textile plant that employs about 350 people is expected to close next month and move its operations to Brazil. The plant, formerly called Dundee Mills, manufactures towels and other textiles and was once the county’s largest employer. It is operated by Fort Mill, S.C. based Springs Industries.  Will the last person to leave America, please turn off the lites.

What’s In A Name — Evidently big bucks.

When I registered http://www.BoxcarOkie.com it cost me $15, why?  Because no one else had it, no one else wanted it, and I thought it up.  Unfortunately for President Bush and his handlers, it didn’t work out that way.  George W. Bush’s presidential  library domain name has been retrieved after a Web developing company accidentally let it expire – and it apparently came at a high price.

Raleigh, N.C.- based Illuminati Karate paid less than $10 for the http://www.GeorgeWBushLibrary.com domain name and sold it back earlier this year for $35,000 to the library’s contracted Web developers, Yuma Solutions, said George Huger, lead Web developer for Illuminati Karate.

Like P.T. Barium was fond of saying, “There is a sucker born every minute.”

The George W. Bush Presidential Center – which will eventually include a library, museum and public policy institute – is being built at Southern Methodist University in Dallas.  Although it is built on the grounds of an institution of higher learning, it will be staffed with people who are not professors or scholars, but rather, government lackeys.  I suppose most of the information contained will be of the “fiction variety.”

If you are a big Bush fan, come on back at Six O’clock we are going to have a doozy for you it is entitled … “It’s On The Tip Of My Tongue.” … Come early in order to get those choice seats up front, beat the rush, Six O’clock tonight.

Class Act – Pay Attention General Motors

Hyundai is allowing consumers with problems to return their cars to the dealers.  If the purchasers have problems with their job (lose it) or undergo an adverse life occurrence such as physical disability or self employment bankruptcy.  Now here is a class act, General Motors could learn a lot from these people, but of course, after losing market share to them anyway, I suppose they already have.

What’s On The Tube

Early converter purchasers for the new converter boxes that will hook everyone up to the new television network next month are finding that the picture is a lot clearer.  Everything is becoming crystal clear and they are finding a nice surprise in the quality.  About 93% of the nations 1,759 stations are now broadcasting in digital.  Word has it there is hope that there might be an improvement in programming, and actually something worth watching on NBC, but reports on that are still kind of sketchy.

Turn it Off Save Some Money For Your Bail

A man in Port St. John Florida, was jailed for allegedly stealing electricity from Florida Power and Light. The house was decked out with Christmas lights on top of that. Neighbors said, at night, it was one of the brightest homes on the block and investigators said the man living there didn’t have to pay a dime for the power.

He is accused of stealing electricity for months for his home, by rewiring the inside of the meter and then closing it up and replacing a red tag to conceal the change from meter readers.

Electricity theft can cost power companies millions of dollars, passed on to other consumers, and they say re-wiring live power lines could end up costing you your life.  Now as we understand it, he is being held in the County jail on charges of grand theft of services and petty theft. Not only does he have his power bill to pay, he needs $25,000 to bond out of jail.

Pow!  Pow!  Halt — It’s the Police.

Oakland California’s BART’s (Bay Area Rapid Transit) police chief asked for patience from the public on Sunday after video footage surfaced showing one of his officers fatally shooting an unarmed man who was on the ground on a station platform on New Year’s Day.  This plea of compassion came after an attorney for the dead man’s family said he planned to sue the transit agency for $25 million.

After California police officers accidentally made the unarmed man lie face down on the floor and accidentally handcuffed him, and then one of them accidentally draws his gun and accidentally shoots the guy in the back.  Bad Cop No Donut.

Georgia Crack Down

Atlanta soon could be the latest city to outlaw sagging pants. The City Council is set to consider the issue at its weekly meeting.  Council members are proposing the new law, which would “make it illegal to expose one’s undergarments in a public setting.” The measure would be included in an ordinance already on the books which bans simulated acts of intercourse and exposing or touching one’s genitals or breasts.

Atlanta must be a fun place, eh?

If approved, anyone found in violation of the rule could be fined up to $100 and given eight hours of “work on the public streets of the city.” (most likely sweeping up old used condoms)  Proponents have called the sagging pants, crack showing, snoop dawg droopy drawers issue “an epidemic” and “a major concern” as the issue has been debated nationwide and similar laws have been passed.

Critics say the law unfairly targets youths of color.  Perhaps so, but the rest of us are sick of looking at yo nasty crack cause you are too lazy to hike up your pants.  I say go for it and make the fine $500.

It is just not worth it

One in ten young people in Britain think life is not worth living, a report published today has claimed.  Of 2,000 16- to 25-year-olds surveyed for the Prince’s Trust, 12% said their life was “meaningless”, while 14% thought “life has no purpose”.

One in five felt like crying “often” or “always” and nearly half (47%) felt regularly stressed.  Which really reminds me of my sex life right now, but that is another post altogether.

The worst affected were those not in education, employment or training (In the U.K as I understand it, this group of people are called Neets). Thirty seven per cent of Neets polled claimed to be down or depressed compared to 27% of all those surveyed by the polling body

Further reasons for unhappiness included feeling no sense of community, not feeling safe to walk around at night and not having anything to do.  Having a dead-end job was also cited as a major contributing factor. The findings revealed “an increasingly vulnerable generation.”  However, over 70% of all those surveyed and 60% of Neets said they felt happy with life.

We now have more TV channels than you can shake a digital box at, all offering total crap, thereby proving that choice and quality in broadcasting are inversely proportional to each other.  We have cell phones with cameras that have enabled juvenile thugs to go around filming each other attacking total strangers and sending the images to their equally reprobate friends via My Space, Utube.

We have removed the Pledge of Allegiance, God and Prayer from our schools.

Require that children in school speak a language other than their own; memorize instruction manuals written in Klingon by Martians who failed their high school course in intergalactic languages.

And any time they routinely bark at us, we give them every gadget, widget, and thing under the sun they desire … And we wonder why they are unhappy?

Well gotta run, time to mix my prescriptions and read Margaret & Helen.

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