Tuesday’s Lift … Living On Free Gas

Big Brother

Every day in this world of ours, there is pain and suffering, there are enough natural occurring disasters.  Why the news media in this country wants to feed us a steady diet of biased, hate filled news, is beyond me.   Continue reading

Friday Markup

Lee Judge

Does history repeat itself:  Guns … Guns … Guns.  How quickly we forget.  It is not always guns … guns are not the problem.  Andrew Kehoe blew up a school bus in Beth Township, Michigan.  Kehoe also killed his wife and firebombed his own farm, all of this happening just as the charges he had placed under a local school went off.  

Which ended up killing 37 elementary school children and two teachers.  Then he drove to the school, in a car loaded up with shrapnel and detonated that, killing three adults, a schoolboy and himself.

 All of this happened in 1922.  

Three days later, Charles Lindbergh landed in Paris and completed his trans-Atlantic flight, the nation and the world quickly forgot about the worst diabolical act of home grown terrorism and worst massacres in U.S. History. 

Barn Burner:  Yesterday’s post, Stumped In Oklahoma went over 1,700 views in one day period, that is kind of amazing.  You keep on chopping, day after day, and the chips keep flying, and then every now and then, you hit one out of the park.  Who would have thunk thet?

“Handpicked highlights brought to you from the wordpress editors”  …  Our friends over at Fresh Pressed have put up a real head-banger, 3,700 words on a Gay porn star who has committed suicide and the possible reasons for this.  Uh huh … sure.  Fully believing that people will believe the truth when they hear it, here is the bottom line.  People who commit suicide are selfish, and they are only thinking of themselves, not the people they left behind to mourn. 

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Gasoline The New Gold Standard: The price of gasoline has increased .50 cents this month, today is the 36th day it has increased in price, and I fully expect it to continue to spiral out of sight (Who is going to stop the carnage?).  At the current rate, if it is to continue at this accelerated pace, a gallon of gas should be somewhere around $8.40 a gallon by Christmas.  

 If you want to read more on it, here is a link.

Sitting on the dock of the bay:  I keep thinking about these two old boys, sitting on a boat dock in Alabama, and hurtling thru space is a chunk of rock, big as a bus, moving at 33,000 miles per hour.  What do you think the expression is going to be on their face when that monster rock plows into the pond they are fishing in?  I am sorry …. but it just makes me smile.  Here is something else I found amusing this week.

Sweet Dreams:  You ever lie in your bed, that special early time in the morning, where you are not exactly asleep, but you still have your eyes closed?  I have just had another nice dream, one of those sweet dreams, where you just don’t want to open your eyes, and lose the image in your brain that has brought you release from the trials of life.  

In my younger days, my mom would call them Happy Dreams, and we will leave it that.  Anyway, she was there, Penny from the Big Bang Theory and she shared some time with me last night and I just don’t want to get up, I don’t want to open my eyes.

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 Which is a lot, lot better than those other dreams.  

Y’know, the one’s where you are naked and walking backwards in the dark, and you brush up against a warm buttered doorknob, don’tcha just hate those kind of dreams?

Have a great weekend.  We are headed into round three of winter weather and most likely will be shut in, napping our day away and of course ….. dreaming.  (heh-heh)

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of American Progress Online
 

Most read this week on Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Negative Ruminations  
Wow … Wow … Oh Wow!  
Take Your Pick  
Wood Ice Chest  
Lover’s Day  
Truck Month – Stumped In Oklahoma  
House Battery Workover  
50 Plates For My Brother (audio)

More Not Fresh Pressed Baloney

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REACH OUT AND BUG SOMEONE:  Went to the telephone store yesterday.  I look at the kid and say, “My telephone bill is five dollars high this month, can you tell me what is going on?” he says, “Let me see your bill.”  I say to him, “they don’t send me a bill, they do it all electronically.”

So we walk over to the computer and I give him all of my identification and the name of my first born male child, we are off and running. He says to me “Here it is.  You had 12 photographs at .50 cent each.”

Now as our kid is really proud of his kids, and sends pictures of the youngest standing next to a trash can all of the time.  Some months ago, I had this feature disabled on my phone (along with text messaging at the same time) or at least I thought I had this covered.  I am not supposed to get photo’s or text, I am just supposed to get telephone calls for new storm windows, carports, septic tank pumping, miracle weight loss cures, stuff like that.

I tell him this, the nice kid, who still has lipstick on his cheek where his mother kissed him good-bye this morning. 

He offers me nothing.  So I say to him, “I never got any pictures, this has to be a mistake.”  He says, “Let me see your phone” and he looks for the pictures that I received that are clearly not there, and this shrugs his shoulders and says, “Must be some kind of glitch.” He removes the charge and gives me a credit, which doesn’t really put anything back in my bank account, so we may or may not be done with this issue, I am not sure.

I then ask him, “How about these junk telephone calls, am I being charged for them?” and he says, “No.”  I ask him, “so I am not charged for them even if they leave a message on my voice mail?”  He says, “Oh that is different.  If you open your voice mail and listen to the message, then you are charged for the call.”

Hmmmmm, “this means, that I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t, wouldn’t you say?”

He smiles, and says … “Yes sir.  That is about it.”  Nice kid, most likely will be some kind of politician one of these days.

FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES:  I live in what they call a “Fly Over State” and see a lot of aircraft in the sky.  Have you ever wondered how many airliner’s are flying above this country at any one given time?  The numbers are clearly amazing, it would astound you.  I often look up at see the contrails in the sky and wonder where it is they are going and why so many of them are up there.  Here is a link, you can check it out for yourself.

The technology of this site amazes me.  Lot of interesting data can be found.  I clicked on one that said it was Air Force One and I found a shot of Mr. Obama’s aircraft on its first pass over Texas, you can see it here.

EIGHTY-NINE CENT PIE:  We are at the Root N Scoot, I have to buy my lottery tickets for the game on Tuesday.  I don’t want to be stinkin’ rich … but I would not mind smelling bad.  Anyway, this gal, all decked out to the nines in jewelry and stuff, bling-bling (I don’t know if it is real or fake, but it looks nice) walks up to the counter, lays down a .89 cent pastry.  No big thing, right?  Then she pulls out a credit card and pays for the pastry with the card.  Now here is the rub, she walks outside and get into a Lexus SUV.  What is wrong with this picture Boys n Girls?  Sort of like this thing one of our readers sent to me this week:  

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This is kind of hard to read, here is what it says:  “A woman said she noticed her purse missing from her car just before 5P.M. Sunday. The car was parked at her residence on Hornet Drive.  The woman said the car had been locked, and her purse was in the back seat.  the purse was valued at $400, the wallet was valued at $200, and cash in the purse was reported to be $800.  Also missing were the woman’s Food Stamp Cards.”

Kind of brings a tear to your eyes, doesn’t it.

ALL TANKED UP:  Subject: New gasoline coming to your gas station. Folks pay real good attention to this one.  Those friendly folks at the EPA (which stands for Exxon Prostitutes, whores and a**holes) all those unelected buddies, we have in the government have come up with a new wrinkle to get you out of your car.  Watch this video about E15 gas if you have a car older than 2012.  There is a link to the story on Fox News, but if you go to that link, surprisingly the video and information is “missing.”  Hmmmmmm?  Over on Utube you can find it all.

This move by the oil companies and the government together is in your best interests.  You see as we all slowly digress to a nation that produces nothing but debt, if we do not have an ample supply of doctored up gasoline (which insures our sucking off the petroleum tit for the next 100 years easily) we will not be able to deliver pizza’s to each other and get them to the house while they are still warm.

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Is this statuetory rape?  Or is it just a moosedemeanor?  

(Stop laughing! This is serious.)

Now I am off to the tireshop.  They put four new tires on my car last month to the tune of almost $700 and the right-front will not hold air for some reason.  I just can hear it now … “Have you been running your car with the ignition turned on?  This could affect the outcome of your final billing Mr. Smith.”

OOO

Inside The Cage Looking Out

Nice to wake up to a good cup of piping hot coffee, little sunshine in the window, and the much anticipated storm did not materialize.  Life is good.  It has been a long week, I am hoping that this one on tap is better than the last.  Putting a video here for you first off, you can click on it and Grandma will play you the blues … As you read the latest news.

This morning I am reading a post by a lady who has been Fresh Pressed five times, that in itself, amazes me.  But wait, it gets better.  Just below that in the comments section someone is asking her “how is it I get Fresh Pressed?” which is something akin to asking “How many grains of sand are there on the beaches of the world?” One poster was actually lamenting how difficult it was to post three times per week, I found that quite amusing.  Here is the clear cut winner … One poster was going “to learn ONE NEW WORD a year.”  Wow, knock yourself out there sister!  It has to be true Maw, I read it on the Internet.

A great deal of interesting material in the news.  This one here, I really liked it.  A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving  revolvers.  The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”  When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.  This guy doesn’t even deserve a seat at Stoooopid Criminal School.

Anyone seen this new tattoo show on CMT where they have competitions with each other on certain designs (snake, devil, flower) and they go to the closest morgue and put their handiwork on a cadaver.  Now I ask you, “how sick is that?” Your poor Uncle Ed who has been living under an overpass for the past five years dies when his alcohol diseased sick liver finally gets tired and stops.  You go down to the morgue to pick him up and they hand him back to you looking like one of your Grandmother’s best hand-knitted quilts.

This is almost as disgusting as the game I play with myself when I fly to Asia.  Leaving Seattle, Washington, you usually swing over a huge portion of the world that is covered with ice and snow (might all be gone now, I dunno?).  I will look out the window of the aircraft and then back into the cabin and my mind will start to race … “Which one of these people am I going to eat first?” in order to survive. gas7 Gasoline continues to do a downward spiral, and yesterday my bride asked me if it would ever go under $2 again.  I gave her the standard “when pigs fly” answer but that was not enough.  So I calmly put it in technical terms for her. Honey, it’s true, oil prices have reached an all time low this year. But before consumers do something drastic, like purchase a hybrid—or as I call them, a mutant—consider the fixed costs that go into producing your typical $104 barrel of oil.

Right up front, $5 goes to new development of new oil resources. $10 goes to new technology research. $15 a barrel goes to making those commercials where oil companies try to convince you they’re not raping the environment and $25 goes toward blackening the oil.  BP is your friend, Exxon is the company of choice, this fuel only contains ____ % of cane products grown in Brazil. Then my wife said to me …  If I may, just very quickly, right there stop you, I was under the impression that oil comes out black.

That’s what Hollywood would have you believe, dear.

No, oil actually comes out of the ground looking like this (holding up a fruit jar with a honey looking substance inside). A pretty rainbow! And it burns clean. Cruding it up ain’t cheap.  She then says “so that adds, I guess, $55 a barrel to the oil, what about the rest of the cost?”  (We are on a roll now, she bought it)  Well Honey, it fluctuates, depending on how chaotic the political situation is in places like North and South Dakota.

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That’s why the Middle East loves our stagnant economy and all those empty roads that are now devoid of traffic, tourists, and commercial business. Without these modifiers, we often see our oil prices plummet. Gas will never go below the $2 benchmark set for it recently by my wife, I am sure of that.  Unless of course, we all buy a gas sucking SUV from Government Motors and Middle Eastern revenue streams dry up and the terrorist are having to work second jobs at Bennigans … or … the Middle Eastern equivalent … Jhad-Applebee’s.

Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I have to run now, our three year old decided to tune my guitar for me over the weekend, and I have to work on that. One last thing:  As the middle of the month rapidly approaches remember a couple of important dates.  #1  Martin Luther King Day is on the 21st.  Also, January is Stalker Awareness Month. So, leave a gift by your bedroom window for your special someone.

OOO

Whuz Up

Doesn’t pay to get nosy.  A Briton accused of hacking into top secret military computers has lost a Law Lords appeal against being extradited to stand trial in the US. Glasgow-born Gary McKinnon could face life in jail if convicted of accessing 97 US military and Nasa computers. He hacked into all of these military computers “searching for evidence of UFO’s” being withheld from the general public by the U.S. Government. If there is life in the Universe, I sure hope it is smarter than what we have here.

I guess it had to happen. Tansgender Bathrooms.  This morning I found a web story about a school in Asia that is now supplying “Transgender Bathrooms” for students.Between the girls’ toilet and the boys’ there is one signposted with a half-man, half-woman figure in blue and red. This is the transsexual toilet, and outside, in front of the mirrors, some decidedly girly-looking teenage boys preen their hair and apply face cream.

So, when the do the dirty deed … Do they stand up or sit down? I Never get all the facts, who, what, where, when and why, first thing they teach you in journalism 101.

The headteacher, (their words not mine, I swear!) Sitisak Sumontha, estimates that in any year between 10% and 20% of his boys consider themselves to be transgender – boys who would rather be girls. “They used to be teased every time they used the boys’ toilets,” he said, “so they started using the girls’ toilets instead. But that made the girls feel uncomfortable. It made these boys unhappy, and started to affect their work.”

I must be weird, all I ever wanted to be was a fireman.

Girls=Boys in Math. Researchers for the National Science Foundation have found that boys and girls now perform equally in standardized math tests. New findings indicate that girls are just as smart as boys when it comes to the subject of math. Which should come as no big surprise to a guy who’s idea of higher education was standing on the top of the Frat House, dressed in a toga and yelling …. “Bring me the virgins to wax my loins!”

 More math, just what I need.

Oil prices have dropped to about $125 a barrel this week after reaching a peak of $147.27 earlier this month. Meanwhile, gas prices are still hovering around the $3.50 mark down just a few cents from an all-time record average of a couple of months ago.

Why does it seem like gas prices go up faster than they come down?  Because they do. Analyses of gasoline economics show that when the price of oil rises, it takes up to four weeks for gas station prices to catch up, with most of the increase taking place within the first two weeks.

But when oil prices sink, it takes up to eight weeks for the savings to be passed along to consumers. The phenomenon is known as “asymmetric price adjustment” or, more informally in Washington DC, as the, “rockets and feathers principle.”

 Think about it … It will come to you.

Supporters of the 2005 Bankruptcy Act said that by punishing “deadbeats” the law would reduce consumers’ borrowing costs. (Curiously that is the statement credit card companies use to describe people who pay their balances on time, deadbeats. They would prefer to have revolving balances, and those are called, revolvers) It has seemingly backfired on them, since this bills’ passage, credit card borrowing costs have risen by as much as 17%. But this is a bankers’ bill, and we all know about bankers.

They are the only people who can understand the principle of ONE TELLER and ELEVEN WINDOWS.

This week a man in Texas complained because the credit card folks charged him a $39 charge for paying his bill two days late, and that they jacked him up 3.5 times on the interest. He said that “they didn’t send him a bill and that is why he was late.” Uh huh, sure. I believe it was Ben Franklin that said, “Those who lend money have a better memory than those who are prone to borrow it.”

I would complain about my credit card company, but they kind of scare me.  They have too much data on my personal habits and my life, and I am afraid if I hack them off, I could find myself  locked down in the Gorilla compound at the zoo wearing banana scented lingerie.

Which I suppose most of you feel that a statement like that is ludicrous.  But take time today to stop and consider this one rule of the universe.  The world is full of things that don’t make sense

The U.N.

Plus size bikini’s

Wealthy Democrats.

Yeah, that’s it.

OOO

Almost Enuff For A Fill Up

My underwear is on inside out today, not that I am bragging, nor that I am ashamed, just a plain fact of life.  Some times it is a real hoot to live your life on the ragged edge, even if it is only for one day.

Today is that day … I am not reversing them … Deal with it.

Yesterday I was giving a lift to a buddy of mine, and he said, “You had buckle up your seatbelt, they are cracking down on that.” and I said, “I don’t care.”

Then he said, “the fine is $50 think about that.”  I smiled and then replied, “Hell, that aint even a tank of gas man.”

Which is something I thought I would never hear myself saying, but it is a fact.

As you all know … Gasoline has gone thru the proverbial roof.

Houston-based oilfield services company Baker Hughes Inc. reported Friday that 1,383 rigs were exploring for oil and 594 were looking for gas. Six were listed as miscellaneous. A year ago this week, Baker Hughes reported 1,847 rigs.

The rig count peaked at 4,530 in 1981 and bottomed at 488 in 1999.  Now at that time (1999), gasoline was about a dollar a gallon.

This Is Not an Accident — When Drilling is Up, Price is Up.

The two times (early 1980’s and now) when drilling has set records, the price of gas has gone through the roof. When drilling was at it’s lowest in 50 years under Clinton, gasoline got down under $1.00/gallon.

Sarah Palin probably doesn’t know this. Newt probably does. He’s smart and sadly, I am afraid not always truthful.  With a lot of drilling, the price will be high. With little drilling, it will be low.  The reason is not hard to understand — see for yourself.

As the price has risen over the last three years, US exports of gasoline to China, India, Europe and South America have tripled to 20 million gallons per day.

For a country that is supposed to be running out of the stuff, there seem to be a great deal of people looking for it eh?  A little over 1300 rigs in search of oil and the rest Natural Gas.

For a gasoline to go back to a $2.50 per gallon level (highly unlikely boys N girls) the cost of a barrel of oil, would have to shrink from its current $125 per barrel price to roughly $63-$65 range.

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Best to just hang around the home fires this summer, cook up an old dead-clucker, open up a can of beans and take a dip in the family pool.  Or better yet, board up a jet and fly down south and take a dip in this one.

The Crystal Lagoon, located at the San Alfonso del Mar resort in Algarrobo, Chile, is the world’s largest outdoor pool, stretching more than half of a mile and filled with 66 million gallons of water.  While you are there, pick me up a bottle of Sweet Bitch Wine, another fine product of Chile which is really good when properly chilled.

I am done for the day, I am now going to go back to important matters such as, “trying to figure out why every other chip breaks off in the dip” and then I have to get my fingers all greasy trying to retrieve the piece that is locked down stone cold in the jar.

It is a tough job, but someone has to do it.

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of AmericanProgress.Org

Alam’s Road Trip

Kind of tired the other night, but I wanted to see the end of the NASCAR race, so I set the VCR to record the rest of the race and I went to bed.  I am after all, in my golden years, and I do need my rest, the race was no big thing.  Let technology take care of it, it is touted to “improve our lives and make life much better for the majority of us” so often to dreamland I went.  Next day, I bring it up and start to watch it, everything goes swimmingly until the last ten laps, they break for a commercial and that is that.

No more race, no last ten laps, and I am here to testify … Technology sucks.

Tristin Saghn little sister who is two years old (he is 9) fell into the family pool in Mesa, Arizona this week.  After she was pulled from he water, Tristin started to perform chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth on the little girl while his mother rushed into the house and called 911 for help.  Tristin who said that he learned the lifesaving technique while watching television, said that “he knew what it was that he was doing it right.”  Evidently so, little sister started breathing again, and doctors says that she is going to be just fine due to the smart reaction of her big brother.

“She is really beautiful, and I love her very much.”  Tristin said.

Yesterday we had an outbreak of tornado’s here in the heartland and this morning a lot of folks waking up here in Central Oklahoma to just about nothing.  One of the things that I did before the approaching storm was to check the safe room in the garage (steel enclosure bolted to the floor with 21 – 18” bolts into the concrete) for snakes.  We have found snakes in there, they kind of gravitate to the coolness and darkness of the room.  No snakes incidentally, but finding one during a tornado, would not be the optimum safety plan it seems to me.

A lady in Florida might be considering removing the pet door on her house, it allowed a small alligator access to her home this week.  She walked into the back bedroom of her house and there the alligator was.  Might be time to get rid of the swinging door in the kitchen and start letting Fluffy in and out the old fashioned way.

Japan is now creating suicide hot lines and sending mental-health counselors into the regions affected by the tsunami and nuclear crisis out of fear there will be a surge of self-inflicted deaths in that country.  The Japanese, whose culture romanticizes suicide, already have a suicide rate more than double that of the United States and it is the leading cause of death there among men ages 20 to 44 and women ages 15 to 34.

Now I understand that if you call the Suicide hot line in Pakistan and tell them you are depressed and you can drive a truck, they get all excited.

Yesterday I overheard some guy complaining during lunch that a beer in the Dallas Stadium in Texas costs $12.50.  Who in their right mind would pay $12.50 for a beer, I don’t care how cold it is, that is just too much.  American’s are spending something like $1.2 trillion dollars on nonessential goods and services annually, according to the Commerce Department.  See, we do have government agency that you can actually benefit from, we are paying a LOT of people to keep numbers on what it is that we are buying, your tax dollars at work.

Consumer spending on discretionary luxury items, including jewelry, yachts, sports cars, alcoholic beverages, and candy, has risen to 11.2% of total consumer spending, even in hard times, that is up from 4% in 1959.  Which is kind of stupid, because 1959 was what, 52 years ago?

Give me a break.

Our consumer spending here at our house constitutes mainly of groceries and gasoline.  55% of American drivers say they are changing their driving habits as a result of high gas prices.  Except maybe Kyle Busch, he was recently stopped in North Carolina for driving 128 miles per hour on a public highway.

Everyone has a dream.
A tomorrow.
A Someday …  New York City cabdriver Mohammed Alam got the fare of a lifetime:  $5,0000 to drive two New Jersey residents  from New York to Los Angeles.  The six-day journey was one man’s idea or spur of the moment urge for a birthday adventure.

Alam for his part, was able to live his childhood dream of seeing Universal Studios.  Nothing is impossible in this world,” said Alam.  “We can do everything, whatever we want” and it is quite possible the cabbie might have enjoyed the trip even more than the fare paying passengers.

Make a wish … Now blow out all the candles on your cake!

(Next stop Dollywood)

OOO