Recently I noted that someone who writes a daily “grammar blog” has come on board for a following/subscription to this blog. This of course worries me, I am a grammar blog writer’s ultimate nightmare. I used to have a university professor that followed me, drove her nuts. She nailed me all the time on apostrophe’s, said I put them in the wrong place and was constantly pointing this out. Last I heard, she had gave up and was working a rig in the Balkan Field in North Dakota as a tool pusher.
Let’s talk of Lover’s Day, that magical time of the year, that is quickly approaching.
Soon the WordPress.com media will be full of nothing but happy, sappy, posts about this illegitimate holiday. Time is running out for a lot of guys, Valentine’s Day, that illegal estrogen enriched time of the year sponsored by all the chocolate manufactures and of course, jewelry shops nationwide is now clearly visible on the romantic horizon. A banner day for Hallmark Cards I suppose … and the immediate downfall for the poor sucker who forgets.
Some of these holiday’s are suspect anyway. Did you know that last Friday was “National Wear Red Day?” Well, it was, “If I am lying, I am dying” as my buddy Billy Raye Littler used to say. This month, b’sides Valentine’s Day we also have President’s Day (the 18th) we ought to buy him and the family a one-way ticket to Borneo and give him a carton of Marlboro’s.
But I digress … sorry.
My marriage firmly locked down in the layered bedrock of the planet, established way back years ago, when the earth was still warm, does not require a yearly injection of false admiration and adoration, so I assume I am free. I should be able to slide under the radar, much to the chagrin of some of you other suckers who will not. All I have to do is remember to pick up the seat and I am okay for a month or two on the by-ways of matrimony.
Not a big fan of the holiday, as you can see.
My feelings about Valentine’s Day are mixed. I remember as a small lad, we were required to give Valentine’s cards to all our young classmates in school. The teacher would give us a list of each child in the class, and we were to dutifully fill out a little sentiment and then pass them around on the appointed day. This gesture was to be seen as goodwill and friendship, but in reality, quite cruel to the kids who were an exception to the rule, and received no cards whatsoever.
I never cared for it.
Most of the time, the man is going to “get something for himself” and then pimp it off as a gift for her. Box of chocolates, something racy and sweet, from Fredrick’s of Hollywood (for himself). Now when you are secure in your relationship, you do not have to spring for these things.
One of the readily apparent benefits of a libido in retreat and being older, is the fact that at our age a trip to the Catfish Cabin, some shrimp, a short well timed visit to the Salad Bar and later, some bread pudding and you are set.
I would even venture that both would cost about the same in the end.
In my younger days, being the sleeze-ball that I am, I would have opted for this new thing on the market … The C-string. Have you seen one? Here is a photo sampling for your perusal and a live demonstration. This would not be suitable for showing at work, so check the room first.
As you can see, this clearly leaves little to the imagination and is a testament to the female form.
Here is a working example of a C-string on some lovely, I would assume it is Mexican Television, it sure would not be aired here in the U.S.A. even Fox would not touch that (pardon the pun).
Clearly this is not a gift for the older audience but for the younger set. Most of us who read this site, would be just as happy with a new toaster over. I don’t know where the chocolate would fit in, but then again, it is the thought that counts. Best get busy and do some shoppin boys, time is running short.
Please remember, “do not go overboard.”
Possibly Related: Here is a lighter look at the subject of love, Timber Wear from a few years back.