Clear Blue Sky

blue-sky

Early in the morning, it is cool, not cold mind you, but cool.  That is nice, spring is in the air, it cannot be long now, but there is the distinct odor of burnt grass in the air, and another wildfire is taking its toll somewhere.  Very dry here, I cannot remember for the life of me, when it was that we received a good soaking rain, been awhile.

Another thing that I find somewhat disturbing is the color of the sky, there doesn’t seem to be any blue sky left anywhere, just this dingy Grey color, void of clouds and seemingly full of the pollution of man.

Back in the day, I would lie down in the grass and peer up into the summer sky, rich and blue, filled with white wispy clouds and I would imagine they were different animals or shapes.   I see a cow, and Indian, there is a ducky …… that kind of deal.

Now I look up and I see the remnants of yesterdays’ commute in Dallas, a cold dead gray sky, and no rain.

Getting Casual.

Another sign that spring is coming, the Idaho House waived its decorum rule for the rest of the season.  Members can take off their jackets and eat or drink on the floor of the House, they are just not allowed to smoke or spit, we can still do that here in Oklahoma, but it is evidently illegal in other parts of the country.

Not long ago I took a vow to lay off politics’ and religion on this site, and so far, I have managed to stay fairly close to the goal and within the self-imposed perimeters of good taste.  It is so hard to come in here each day and write something that is NOT political and I have adjusted to that.  It is as a matter of fact, a lot harder than I imagined it to be a few weeks back.

Mr. Obamma is going to be on the Tonight Show this evening, if you are so inclined, you can tune in there and get the straight poop from the head nin-com-poop!  Perhaps he will explain on how “giving A.I.G. billions which they in turn gave to the banks of England, Germany and France will help the AMERICAN economy” I cannot for the life of me, figure that one out.

bush-sticker

U.S. Credit Card defaults rose in February to their highest level in 20 years, with losses particularly severe at American Express and Citigroup.  AMEX came in with 8.7% and Citibank at 8.3% what I cannot figure out is why is this so bad?  Even at those rates that means at least 91% of their accounts are paid up or paying on time, seems like a rock steady business figure to me.

All around me I hear the sound of money, but I don’t have a dog-gone nickel to my name, I see a light at the end of the tunnel …. Man, I sure hope it’s not some dog-gone train!  If counted out in $1,000 bills, a million dollars would be a stack of bills approximately 4″ high.  To reach a billion dollars, that same stack of $1,000 dollar bills would have to be 358 feet tall.  To reach a trillion dollars (and remember we are up in the 12/15 trillion range now) the stack would stand 67.9 miles high!

change

This could be the reason Americans are only getting an average of 6.7 hours of sleep on weekdays, down from seven hours in 2001.  Anyone see the news piece on the janitorial position offered in Massillon, Ohio?  The job paid about $15 per hour and 700 people showed up to apply for it.  Maine is forcing people to buy one of three license’s in order to increase revenue, latest to hit the list is canoeists or kayaking.  They want $3.50 for “boat lic.fees.”  Oklahoma increases the fee for electricity by some $8 per month, cable TV switched over to this new crap, and as usual, it cost us something, about $3 a month.

Point being, “You get a $26 increase in your income this month, I sure didn’t.”

This could be the primary reason Oklahoma and Utah now lead the nation in people hanging up landlines (regular telephone service) and switching over to cell phone usage (which we have been on for about five years, once again, ahead of the curve).  At least 26% of all households in these two states have got rid of regular phone service.  As times continue to get rough, medicine and groceries will fall beside the way, as the population searches for a way to cope.

But all hope is not lost.

Washington state this week passed a new same sex marriage proposal.  It would extend domestic partners all the rights and benefits that the state offers married couples under a measure passed by both houses.  Currently only married couples are mentioned including employment pensions, and public employee benefits.  Washington State is clearly stepping out into uncharted waters when compared to the rest of the country.

gay-girls

Another good news item is the James River in Richmond Virginia is now clean enough to swim in.  Now there is a novel idea, a river you can actually swim in.  Water tests showed that fecal bacteria had dropped to acceptable levels the Department of Environmental Quality said.  Which brings me to the obvious question:  “What is an acceptable level of poo-poo kaw-kaw nothing is acceptable to me, absolutely nothing is the level I want. anyway?” I mean, gee whiz, give me a break.  That is not acceptable in any way, shape, form or manner.

And finally.

If all this fails, you can move to California, where they are proposing to tax “pot sales.”  Now if you think about it, the nation’s pot heads have been paying a really high tax for years on this product, but it was to the Mafia or Organized Crime. 

Why not pay a tax to the local government instead, put the money in the hands of all those folks who KNOW how to spend it for your public GOOD.

Which gives us about $1 billion per year in added taxes revenue for all these tax strapped states that just cannot live on billions and billions per year in collected tax revenue.

Taxing Pot Heads … I Believe I have heard it all now.  A totally new meaning to the word “Reefer Madness.”

It is now time for me to close this off, head out to the front porch and maybe see if I can borrow some “medical marijuana” from my next door neighbor with the five dogs (the people who live two doors down on public assistance) . Mailman says every time he walks by there, they are out in the garage shooting pool on their cheap table with the crooked sticks, pumping out the rap on the boom-boxes and he says …. “I smell it, no doubt about it.”

Perhaps in the spirit of the day, they will share with me?

Twist one up and then I will sit there in the spring time warmth, and ask myself whether I want to hold the bowl of love or go out there in the Universe, in search of the meaning of life.  To do this with another person or do it alone, to feel that shield of love and glow that is incredible.  Again the nagging questions of life, to enter into another drug induced deep value introspective view of shallow relationships or just go back inside and watch The View.

Another wacky Thursday in a long line of run together crazy insane days.  When you give up religion and politics’ this is what is left ……. Not much.  Kind of like this bailout routine, this financial black hole we seem to find ourselves being sucked in to.  Think about it.

socilaism

OOO

Highlighting History

Here lately, a great many of our political hopefuls, presidential wanna-be’s and vice presidential what-evers have been running fast and loose with not only the facts, but our recent and past history. So I figured, what is good for the goose, is good for the gander and I have taken time today to correlate some history for all our readers.

The staff of Creative Endeavors and I got together over a period of several minutes, perhaps twenty-five or thirty, and came up with some interesting facts and history about our country for you in the spirit of the 2008 electorate.

On August 3rd,l 1492, Christopher Columbus set sail from Palos, Spain, on a voyage that took him to the present day America’s. Sailing on the Nina, the Pinta, and the Juilo Englasis, he arrived just before noon on a Friday. America at this time was basically a developing nation, a few Burger Kings, one or two Wal-Marts, but they were not Super Centers. There was visible evidence of many brush fires and incredible amounts of devastation everywhere. There was plenty of oil because cars had not been invented and we had no Congress.

In 1914, Germany declared war on France. France in retaliation, sent to Germany Rene Monette Anton Bush to convince local German governments to build replica’s of the Eiffel Tower and to give up this insane idea of war instead. To not service their women, tear down the French language, and to encourage them to drink more wine. This was quickly brushed aside for obvious reasons. She was promptly deported back to France as an illegal alien, and a undocumented speaker. Germany at that time, appropriated funds to build a fence to keep Frenchmen from entering their country.

In 1923, Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as the 30th President of the United States, following the defeat of Warren G. Harding. On this day Billy Raye Bushwhacker Sr. was defeated in the World College Bowl when he selected “History” for $100 and incorrectly answered the question …. “What Was WWII?” … with the answer …… some fish? NBC ran a story on if you yelled for 8 years and 7 months, some six days, you would produce enough energy to heat one cup of coffee. General Motors announced a new model of Chevy that got zero miles per gallon … but had lot’s of chrome.

In 1936, the State Department urged Americans in Spain to leave because of that country’s civil war. Oklahoma City started abandoning buildings in what is now called Brick Town because of rapid expansion to the suburbs. An Oklahoma court, on a suggestion of a local celebrity, granted custody of a ten year old Boy Scout to a 14 year old girl. This was promptly overturned by the local chapter of the ACLU.

In 1949, the National Basketball Association was formed despite the protests of the not yet formed NFL. The Oklahoma Representative in Congress announced that “for twenty five thousand dollars each, any lobbyist in the building (excluding Petroleum related industries) would be allowed to kiss him fully on the lips.” The University of Oklahoma announces that if you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, you would produce enough gas to create the energy of an atomic bomb. Which was quickly debunked by the Department of Defense. 1949 was a slow year, America did not attack anyone in the name of Democracy.

In 1958, the nuclear-powered submarine Nautilus became the first vessel to cross the North Pole underwater. A non candidate for any office, Billy Raye Bushwhacker Sr., meets with the heads of the state of England, France, Norway, Sweden and Germany at a family picnic in his backyard in Pecos Texas. He refuses to run on the “conservative” ticket, claiming that a race for Governor would negate his chances of being King or even God, someday in the near future.

Dick Clark turns sixteen years old …. Again.

In 1980, closing ceremonies were held in Moscow for the 1980 Summer Olympic Games, which had been boycotted by dozens of countries, including the United States. Ronald Reagan cannot remember if he approved the sale of arms to that place east of New Jersey. In a historic decision the Republican packed U.S. Supreme court rules that six apples in one sack is to be considered one item, this was a five to three vote. A new Republican protege comes on the scene, Billy Raye Bushwhacker Jr. enters Yale for his first year of c- studies.

In 1981, U.S. Air Traffic controller go on strike, despite a warning from President Reagan they would be fired. President Reagan then announces that at that time, the price of his souvenir beer mug has been reduced to on $3.99 and one building in Brick Town is being given consideration as a possible comedy club. No building permits or business licenses are issued after the Governor intervenes and declares “Living in Oklahoma is not funny.” Oklahoma University announces that a cat’s urine glows under a black light.  The practice of bathing in Swan Fat and Donkey Milk is declared illegal in 62 counties in Oklahoma and one U.S. protectorate south of Guam.

In 1988, the Soviet Union released Mathias Rust, the young West German pilot who had landed a light plane in Moscow’s Red Square in May 1987. Billy Raye Bushwhacker Jr. announces that for $500 a month, he will have breakfast with any registered Republican in the North Eastern Corridor of the United States. IBM announces that they have purchased space on the side of the Russian Station Miers for advertising and at a bargain price of only $18 million dollars. General Motors re-introduces the zero mileage car with lot’s of chrome.

In 1993, the Senate voted 96-3 to confirm Supreme Court nominee Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The national basketball association announces a new team in Florida to be known as the Incredibly Huge Bloodsucking Insects and will be home courted in Orlando. Bill Gates buys Guatemala and most of Honduras in a sweeping takeover bid. Judge Bork receives the “worst looking beard in the world award” by cast members of The View in 4 to 4 decision. He is subsequently is rejected from the court for oblivious reasons and in a related decision it is announced that it is no longer illegal to pray at Cock Fights, but you can still “make a wish, as long as you do not offend anyone else.”

In 1994, one day after Iraq invaded Kuwait, thousands of Iraqi soldiers pushed to within a few miles of the border with Saudi Arabia, heightening world concerns that the invasion could spread. A place called Chad dukes it out with some place called Libya and the arms race in America escalates. Stock in gunpowder and small arms increases exponentially and business is good on the NASDAC. People living north of the United States in Canada, tiring of their tree’s humming and glowing in the dark, demand that we do something about our acid rain. 1,200 dead people were discovered at a Neil Diamond concert in Michigan over the weekend.

Five years ago: OJ Simpson is hot on the trail of his wife killers, searching out every golf course in America. A 19 year old kid flies a Cessna airplane into Red Square and the Soviets are livid, Dick Cheney orders 6,000 Cessna airplanes for the U.S. Air Force. The Senate Transportation Committee recommends that all speed limits be increased nationwide to 80 MPH to help out the Saudi’s and it is increased, everywhere, except Oklahoma where all the roads are in disrepair or being patched. Judge Judy makes a definitive socially defining historic ruling on wrinkle creams being sold across the counter, that do not go deep enough to control crows feet in middle aged women.

One year ago: Congressional Republicans, shrugging off a presidential veto threat, nailed down the details of an agreement for a 10-year, $792 billion tax cut. Arbitrators ruled the government had to pay the heirs of Dallas dress maker Abraham Zapruder $16 million for his movie film that captured the assassination of President Kennedy. The first issue of Talk Magazine hit the newsstands and to celebrate this Congress passed a whopping pay raise (unanimously) in both houses.

Dick Clark turns …. Sixteen …. Again.

Which brings us to today: The Republican National Committee announces that so far, things have been pretty dull, so the handlers of Sara Palin have decided to allow her to speak. DVD sales in the United States reach record numbers. Joe the Plumber announces that he is depressed and constipated in Cleveland. Dick Cheney was to speak, but at his last public appearance he was interrupted 32 times by applause and two times by mild heart attacks. The Democrats have been declared legally brain dead in all but the swing states where the majority of the voters are still “not sure” and Joe Biden is strangely quiet.  Our second term soon to be gone President comes on television to announce that “the sap of a tree is a good conductor of rain and that is how you get electrocuted” while giving a press conference in the rose-garden in the rain.

And finally …. In an effort to clarify the new bailout proposal to the American people the political hopefuls came on PBS last night and laid out the proposal in a manner that was understandable by most of the population. In the spirit of Hillary and Good Time Bill it was patiently explained:

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. The villagers renewed their efforts and started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people went back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.

During the man’s absence, the assistant told the villagers “Look at all the monkeys in this big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 850 billion dollars. They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys. Now you have a better understanding of how the WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK!

History in a nutshell ……When Columbus started out for the New World, he didn’t know where he was going; when he would get there, when he got there, he didn’t know where it was he was; and when got back he didn’t know where had been.

Kind of points out what we all knew to begin with ….. History has an awful bad habit of repeating itself.

000

Thanx Jim in WA.


Change in the air

Stepping outside you can almost feel the change in the air, fall is just around the corner.  There seems to be an “air about it” if you will pardon the pun.  My old bones are starting to creak in the wind, they do that every fall season, nothing much you can do about it.  Still have not seen the southerly parade of Dragon Flies and the Cicada’s have not started singing in the trees, but there definitely is change in the air.

The cool down is nice, even if it is a bit premature and is at best, hurricane residue from Ike, our latest storm.

Now I don’t want to sound callous, cruel or un-carrying about this, but I find hurricane victims kind of hard to understand.  (1)  A hurricane is coming, they are warned in advance to evacuate, get out, while you have time.  (2)  They stay, against all sane advice and warnings, they virtually ignore all up-to-date information, choose to stay put and weather out the storm.  (3)  They do not leave and after wards when they are in terrible shape, call out for public assistance.

This morning there are some 2,000 people in Galveston, Texas that are crying for water and relief from the Red Cross and other similar relief providers.  It seems to me, that if they had heeded the advice like all the others, they would not be in this dire predicament.  What is it about the human psyche that demands that “the government take care of you” after you do something decidedly stupid, like refuse to evacuate?

As soon as the wind dies down, up from the rubble and chaos, they pop up like misplaced prairie dogs and call for water!  Ice!  Help us .. Help us!  If they had left with all the other sane people, they could be sitting down to breakfast at The International House Of Pancakes like everyone else in Texarkana, Texas, safe and sound.

Sorry but I don’t get it.

An open apology to CrackerBoy … On September 4th, I wrote a post on WordPress.com Global Dashboard Fastest Rising Blogs and what a crock of …  Well  …. you spread it on your flowers and it makes them grow better … a crock of that.

Cracker Bill at that time suggested in the comments section that it is a “Strange combination of circumstances. It’s all done by the system. No human hands.” And I summarily dismissed that.  It appears that I now know differently (You can teach an old dawg new tricks!) and that Bill is right.  Over the weekend they again posted another bogus fastest growing blog, because:

(A)  They are stupid.

(B)  They don’t know better

(C)  It was generated by a machine.

Proudly displayed in spot #6 this weekend as a “fastest growing blog” was a site who has posted “7” posts in …… get this … you will love this.  They had posted 7 times in 11 months. From October 2007 to date the entire site consisted of seven posts.  How fast growing and noteworthy is this?  Not very.

I owe you an apology Bill ….. You my friend were right.

Watching the television and they are running this commercial for one of the sagging and slowly dying American car companies.  In this commercial they are showing the latest new wrinkle a television screen built into the dash.  Now do we really need this?  Haven’t we enough problems with cell phones, pagers, DVD players, text messaging, and now a TV in the dash?

Man what a trip that would be, humming down the old boulevard watching a salute to Rock N Roll hosted by Michael Jackson and Dick Clark, doing about 75 mph in the fast lane.  Which I suppose would be like a preview of people on the first boat load headed for hell.  Thank heavens for the mute button!  As I am not all that interested in becoming a rap singer, and my driving skills are not what they used to be, I am going to pass.

B’sides, I don’t own a lot of jewelry and I am extremely uncomfortable grabbing my crotch in public.

If my memory serves me correctly (here lately it is a 50/50 deal) Jerry Lewis had a movie out about 40 years ago, where a guy believed everything that his television told him.  He dashed out to shop every time a commercial told him exactly what to buy.  Then he would sit in front of the set, dying his hair and smoking cigars, awaiting further instructions.  Which is mainly what it was that I did this past weekend, sat in front of the set and awaited my instructions but they never came.  Has anyone heard from the Mother Ship?

I think my link is down.

Sunday’s paper had an article in it where it said that a meteorite roughly the size of France missed the earth by about half the distance to the moon (in space terms that would be close, almost a near miss according to the Bush administration).  So I am reading this and I am thinking to myself, “Is this some kind of twisted math exam?”  Sure glad it missed, isn’t NORAD or someone supposed to be tracking stuff like this, so Morgan Freeman can make a statement to the American people about it?

We ought to rename this piece … Earth … Wind … Fire.

Next it will be sunspots, have not heard anything on them for awhile, there has definitely been a sunspot deficit going on here lately.  Sunspots often cause weird side effects.  For example:  In the movie “Frequency” a New York cop operating a ham radio during an aurora borealis in 1999 is mysteriously able to communicate with actor Dennis Quaid in 1969.

Bear with me … I am almost done.

Normally, this would be dangerous, since tampering with the past can disrupt the present (Doc, in Back To The Future II 1986).  But in the movie, everything ends happily.  The cop saves Quaid’s life, helps him find a serial killer and in a major break through persuades him not to make Jaws 3 in 3-D! in the early eighties.

Along the way, there are thrilling plot twists.

In one scene, the cop’s ham radio inadvertently contacts RANDY QUAID in his 1989 role as Cousin Eddie in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.  Apparently the metal plate in Cousin Eddie’s head picks up radio messages?  This causes everyone else in the movie to incorrectly assume that Chevy Chase is the murderer.

Now it is time for me to get back to my book that is so utterly fascinating, I could hardly put it down.  Definitely one for the coffee table set, (I wonder if Oprah has heard about it?).  I found it in the specialty aisle of Barnes & Nobles this past weekend, in the Society of Toxicology section.

Compelling, interesting, spell binding reading.  Comparison of Pulmonary and Pleural responses of rats and hamsters to inhaled refractory ceramic fibers.

I suppose if you are not much of a reader, you will just have to wait for the movie to come out.

000

Media Fatigue

Well there it is again. “Oil is cheaper than other liquids. How the price of a barrel of oil, $124.31 compares with a similar amount of other liquids.” I don’t know about you, but did you ever notice they always choose a liquid standard that is mostly useless.

Milk $147.00 per gallon — Tropicana Orange Juice $226.00 per gallon — Bud Lite $302.00 — Louisiana brand hot sauce $520.00 — Jack Daniels Whiskey $3,568.00 — Chanel #5 perfume $102,144.00

Realistically speaking about the only thing up there that you actually “need” would be milk. And that is it.

So it is basically useless information, drinking a gallon a day of beer, you are a hopeless alcoholic and you should not be driving anywhere, anytime. One gallon of Orange Juice has enough sugar, acid, vitamin C in it to put enough hives on you to make you look like the face of the moon.

All of this is misdirection. It is by design, going to make you think of something “other than the high price of fuel” and nothing more.

No one in their right mind, not even a gator wrestlin’ country bumpkin from the deep south, would drink a gallon of hot sauce, Jack Daniels the same (but on the other hand if you are inclined to wrestle gators on the weekend, a little Jack Daniels might be a good idea), and anyone that uses a gallon of perfume, should not even be out in public. If she does, she is probably a “Workin’ Gal” and that is another post altogether.

The point being, this is ludicrous, unrealistic, and just plain dumb.

Might as well be a gallon of Bat Guano from Carlsbad, New Mexico, a gallon of goats milk from Afghanistan, hot peppers from Central America, moonshine from the piney-woods outside Ft. Smith Arkansas, or Foo-Foo water from Cannes, France.

It would make about as much sense as that does.

Driving by the 7-11 today I notice the price of the stuff (gas) is UP again (big surprise there, no?) and although the numbers show a definite decrease and a positive change in the driving habits of American’s nationwide, we continue to be raped by Big Oil.

General Motors must have sold a bunch of Hummers this week, that is the only thing I could see that would be driving it up in price. Americans are not expecting any relief at the gas pump. Indeed, 86% say they expect it to exceed $4 a gallon and to eventually top out at over $5 that is up too, only 26% of them thought that last year. Americans are paying $1.6 billion a day for gasoline, that is three times what they paid for it 2002.

As I am in a generous mood this day, have not been attacked or mauled lately, my mailbox is no longer smoking. I will pass on to you, two things you can do to beat this.

First, you can make your own fuel at home, start up capital is a little steep, about $10 grand, but you can make your own ethanol.

Or solution #2 … You can buy a fuel efficient automobile made by the Japanese. Honda unveiled its latest big MPG product this week in Los Angeles. A hybrid that gets an estimated 74 mpg and runs on Hydrogen. Only one drawback … in all of California there are just a handful of hydrogen fuel stations, they have been slow to catch on in the Golden State.

No small wonder … Hydrogen is a byproduct of “water” and we all know there isn’t any PROFIT in that, don’t we.

Iceland, a small country at the top of the world, runs all of their cars, trucks and buses on hydrogen. The only oil that they import or use is for lubrication purposes (grease etc) and that is it. But I don’t suppose anyone in Washington, DC every noted this fact. You can write Mr. Bush about it, but I understand he isn’t all that big on reading, might put it inside a copy of the latest video game, better chance of him finding it there, something like Grand Theft Auto II or something like that.

Might as well run this one up the flagpole and see if I can find someone to salute it. And then I am outta here.

One thing I have noticed here of late is the word “Jihad” casually being tossed around by our elected morons. Correct me if I am wrong, but we are “supposed to be at war with Al Qaeda and other Islamic fanatics,” and we are constantly showering them with compliments?

When you refer to an Islamist extremist as a jihadi” or “Jihadist.” You are commenting on them in a positive fashion, you are portraying them in a positive light, not the terrorists thugs, bloody cowards that they are.

As I understand this, in Arabic, the word jihad has only positive connotations; it refers to either a quest to find one’s fate or an external fight for justice. So when we refer to Islamic suicide bombers as jihads, we essentially are calling our enemies “holy warriors.”

Someone needs to fix this or at least point it out to our resident MBA C average dudes.

The people who seem devoted to using this phrase in the wrong fashion are the very same people who told us that “mushroom clouds” over American Cities were a reality, that certain knowledge was indicative to this nuke-uleer holocaust on our shores. That was just before some 4,000 Americans were sent overseas to die, along with some 85,000 Iraqis, not to be confused as resident Jihads or political candidates.

I guess the bumper stickers were right after all.

Language is a funny thing, for example, “The president of Mexico, refers to “illegals” as National Hero’s. Certainly wrong, but that is the way it goes ….. First your money and then your clothes … Or … as Bo Diddley used to say, “Don’t trust anyone but your mama, and look at her real good.”

So that is it in a nutshell. The air in America isn’t the only thing that seems to be polluted these days, lot of television broadcasting is the same.

Now if you excuse me, I have a number three washtub of Craw Daddies and a gallon of Louisiana Hot Sauce to work thru … Should take me most of the weekend.

000

Homeland Insecurity

Homeland (I want to put my hand in your bra) Security Workers at the Airport caught some kid trying to smuggle some fireworks out on a jet today bound for Fresno, California.  Heightened security now prevails and we are currently at level six which is blue or kind of off green color, I am not sure.  We sure do take this to extremes anymore don’t we? 

As we always strive to bring you the sublime and the ridiculous.  Get this.  Law Enforcement Agencies and unions are all up in a tizzy, because the new “badges” the screeners are now wearing just released by the government.  They claim it makes them look like they are “law enforcement officers” and not just security personnel. 

When was the last time someone ran you down with an electronic wand and wrote you a ticket? 

Speaking of tickets. (Nice blend eh?)  A few of my newly retired people frequently ask me, as a retired person, what I do to make my days interesting.  Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop.  I was only there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?’

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.  I called him a ‘doughnut eating Nazi.’  He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.  So I called him a ‘flat-footed oinker.’

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.  Then he wrote a third ticket.  This went on for about 20 minutes.  The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.  Personally, I didn’t care.  I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said ‘Obama in ’08.’

 

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired.  It’s important to my health.   

Now before you write me a ton of Emails, I didn’t really do that, a friend sent it to me yesterday and I found it humorous and wanted to include it in here today.  I am a law abiding, honest, truth telling, always pay my taxes, give to the American Red Cross, fine specimen of a human being.

O’Bammer did say that he was ready to bring the troops home, and I am all for that, I have been all for that for about, let’s see, about five years now.  It is not easy living in this big old world of hate and turmoil, especially if all your guardians are not in this country, but rather in someone else’s backyard, and there is no one here to protect you.  Some folks have become so downright comfortable with occupation forces; they are offering to sell their arms and listing them as “only been dropped one time” in the ads.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.  Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.”

The only two higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate.” The rise in scaredy-cat levels was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms.  So now, the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

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Bread Basket

Found myself looking for a statistic this day, but I could not find it.  It was on the American Farmer, I am doing this from memory, it went something like this, “The American Farmer feeds himself and _________ so many other people.”  But I could not remember if it was his family and 46 others or his family and 125. 

Anyone know which one of the two it might be?

Just north of Okie City up on Seventy-Four highway there is a little town in Logan County by the name of Crescent, Oklahoma.  Small, rural farming community on the plains, nothing all that special about it, except that some of my family lives there.  Wheat farmers and cattle ranchers. 

My mother grew up there with her brothers; they used to walk to school on sandy roads, looking over their shoulders at the fresh footprints in the sand, and marveling at how they looked.  Poor kids, depression raised Okies.  Living in an America when shoes were worn for church, visits to town, school, most of the time they went barefooted.  Not a whole lot of money, grew what they needed, and lived off the land.

This week I was thinking about the CO-OP in Crescent, what a big deal it was when it first was established.  A CO-OP is a co-operative for all those who are not farmers or perhaps not familar with the term.  I was thinking this morning how forming a CO-OP benefited these folks.  How it helped the farmers in the area, and brought new prosperity to their little town.  All the farmers in that town (actually in that surrounding area, other towns too) got together and formed a CO-OP and things gradually got better for them. 

The point being that “pooling their resources paid off for the majority” and it improved the quality of their lives.

One of my apparent drawbacks in life is that I have a fertile mind and over active imagination, if you haven’t noticed by now.  So I am thinking.  “Why do we put up with this S*** from all these two-bit countries around the world that happen to be sitting on vast pools of oil. When we are sitting on this breadbasket of wheat, corn, barely and other agricultural products.” 

Why aren’t we making these American products “a valuable commodity in this so-called world market.”  Especially when the government of the United States gives out ample farm subsidies each year to the American Farmer and U.S. AG Business. 

LET ‘EM EAT THEIR OIL.

If they want to eat beef, if they want a bushel of wheat, corn, maize or soybeans, then let us trade for it.  You give us the oil, and we will help you with the groceries.  We are the world’s largest producer of these products, why aren’t we taking full advantage of it.  Other grain exporting countries such as Argentina, the Soviet Union, Australia, Canada, France and certain areas of the U.K. could join in … We could form a Global CO-OP and trade for what we need.

Which would be a lot better than rushing over and “begging for it” as been the case here lately. This, in my opinion, would certainly beat this form of Texas Chainsaw Economics we have now, which is feed and protect these foreign nationals, while “they bank huge sums of money” and we go farther in the hole.

Before we had a money system in this world, before some banker or politician invented paper money (backed by nothing) we “traded for what it was we needed.” (Barter Systems)  Perhaps it is now time to go back to that, this world banking situation doesn’t seem to be working in our favor.

Last year, Syria imported 890,000 metric tons of corn and maize, 147,000 metric tons of wheat, 483,000 million tons of soybeans.  Our good buddies over there in Iran, they came shopping for 1.8 million metric tons of soybeans, 1.8 million tons of corn/maize, and 231,000 million tons of wheat.  This is just two of the many countries that visited our breadbasket, you can add to that:  Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Venezuela, Nigeria and Russia even came knocking on our doors, all of them calling for enormous quantities of grains from the United States to feed their people.

Clearly I do not advocate starving people for oil, but why not, trade for what we need?  Here is the rainbow in the entire idea.  Doing this would not sufficiently increase the cost of products to the American consumer at all.  As much as I hate this expression … It is a Win/Win kind of thing.

A global CO-OP makes good sense.  Especially when it is apparent that we have so much of it with which to trade.  Why aren’t we taking full advantage of this obvious tilt on the scale in our favor?  Taking it one step further, I guess the next question would be:  “Why aren’t we doing it right now?”

In case you missed it … Here it is again …. Let ‘em eat their oil, get a taste of what it is like to be on the “receiving end of some of this” like the rest of us. 

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