Wish Upon A Star …

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My Daddy used to chuckle and he would look down at me and say “Wish in one-hand kid, and spit in the other.  See which one fills up first.”  But today is Monday and I always try to be up-beat and positive on Monday’s.  (Uh huh sure)  “In the spirit of Judy Garland we could all collectively wish upon a star and try and change our destinies.  When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are, that kind of deal.

I like this part:  When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are.  Looking back, I remember as a small lad my father told me a fable such as that one night when I was but a small tyke, I still remember lying there in wonder and bewilderment.

It went something like this … He said …. YOUR mother said I was to come in here and tell you a fable or a bedtime story. 

So pay attention.

Once upon a time, a Prince who asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”

The Princess said, “NO!”

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged, big breasted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and nailed cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate Spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.  The End

Then my father went into the kitchen for another beer and I was told to go to sleep.  To this day I have to admit, “I just love a good fairytale” how about you?

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Comments are on … Give it a shot.

Once Upon A Time There Was A Father

An 80-year-old rancher from Montana goes to the Mayo clinic in Rochester for a check-up.

The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, ‘How do you stay in such great physical condition?’

‘I’m from Montana and in my spare time I like to hunt and fish’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight riding herd and mending fences and when I’m not doing that, I’m out hunting or fishing. In the evening, I have a beer, a shot of whiskey and all is well.’

‘Well’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?’

‘Who said my Father’s dead?’

The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your father’s still alive? How old is he?’

‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the old cowboy. ‘In fact he worked and hunted with me this morning, and then we went to the topless bar for a while and had a little beer and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s a Montana rancher and he hunts and fishes too!’

‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your father’s father? How old was he when he died?’

‘Who said my Grandpa’s dead?’

Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘you mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still alive?’

‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the man.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, ‘So, I guess he went hunting with you this morning too?’

‘No, Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.’

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting Married??? Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?’

‘Who said he wanted to?’

OOO

Wrights’ Law

Usually on the first day of the year, you find a lot of posts concerning resolutions and searches for the perfect sun tan lotion, or how to lose all the weight you have been carrying around with you, or what you are going to try and accomplish in the New Year.

Understandably this is all a good intentioned thrust towards something positive in the year to come.

Recently I came across this piece of video that I found so touching and captivating that I could not walk away from it.  It grabbed my soul, and wrung it out like an old dish rag.  Please take barely twelve minutes of your busy day and devote it to this man and his message … I can assure you, you will be richly rewarded for doing so.

Our regular post will be presented tomorrow, today just watch this and give it some thought.

Thanks.

Wrights’ Law

OOO

Spaced Out Fairy Tales

“In the spirit of Judy Garland we could all collectively wish upon a star and try and change our destinies.  When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are, that kind of deal.

Perhaps it is time for us, to just think about moving to another planet altogether.  We cannot seem to live in peace and harmony on this one, we have done so much ecological damage to it now, it most likely cannot survive.  Might be time to colonize Mars.  

SpaceX founder and billionaire Elon Musk is laying out his plans for a colony on Mars, and they are specific. Musk has already mapped out an approximate number of people he imagines living in the Mars colony (80,000), as well as how much a ticket to Mars might cost–$500,000.  This is where you should insert the folks on Jupiter and Saturn are most likely saying … Uh oh, there goes the neighborhood.

It could very well be time for us as a race of people to make decisions and forget about the politicians.  In the spirit of Judy Garland we could all collectively wish upon a star and try and change our destinies.  When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are, that kind of deal.  I remember as a young lad my father told me a fable such as that one night when I was but a small tyke, I still remember lying there in wonder and bewilderment..

It went something like this … He said …. YOUR mother told me that I was to come in here and tell you a fable or a bedtime story. 

So pay attention:  Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”

The Princess said, “NO!”

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged, big breasted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and nailed cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate Spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.  The End

Then he went into the kitchen for another beer and I was told to go to sleep.

OOO

Be A Dad

Take time to be a Dad today

OOO

What folks have been reading this week at Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Don’t You Touch That  
The Big Yawn  
Guitar Hero  
#19089 (untitled)  
Bad News In River City  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Heads Or Coins  
Hard Row To Hoe  
Ahhhhhhhhhh-Choo
 

Tiny Dancer

Connie is standing there in the aisle of the supermarket, she looks a little frazzled and tired.  “How you doin’ neighbor?” I say to her, and she half-way smiles.  Noticing that something is visibly wrong, I say to her … “What is up, you look a little bit down in the mount.”

“Oh, I am sorry.”  It is Chuck and the kids.  “Y’know sometimes they just run me a little bit ragged.”  It all started on Saturday, the six year old, Shellie, she wanted to play “dress up.”  So she got her three year old brother Brad to join her, and they were having a high old time together.

Every now and then, she would pull him into the kitchen to show him off and beg another box of juice.  It was all quite innocent, and so charming.   She had him put on several dresses, and she was adding makeup to him and all, it was all harmless fun.  Just two little kids doing their thing on a Saturday afternoon.

So I asked her, “So, what is the problem?”

“Well, Shellie dressed her little brother up in a small tu-tu and some frilly little shoes” and then he prances into the living-room where Chuck was watching the NFL and announced to his Daddy that he was a ballerina!”  And then the trouble began.

Which begs the question, “How was your weekend?”

Here is something from all those wonderful people who had their science projects done and turned in on time.  Having never watched any sci-fi or horror movies while growing up, scientists are about to drill deep down below a frozen Antarctic lake looking for forgotten life forms.  Which is kind of dumb, you want to find “forgotten life forms” just head on over to your local FaceBook page or MyFamily.com

After 16 years of meticulous planning, a team of British scientists is finally ready to journey to a remote, windswept plain in Antarctica, where they will drill deep into the ice to take the first-ever samples from a lake cut off from the sunlit world for up to 1 million years.  When they get done with that, maybe they could hop a flight over to China where a river recently turned the color red.  No word on the frogs, flies, leeches or why it is Campbell Tomato Soup color.

The British are a fun lot aren’t they?

I understand now that they are considering increasing the excitement level of commercial air travel.  Airbus wants to make future airline flights more exciting with catapult takeoffs and steep-dive landings.  What is the absolute worst thing you can hear on a commercial air flight?  This is your captain speaking … we are currently flying at an altitude of 48,000 ft, over the Grand Canyon, the outside temperature is -25, and we expect to arrive in Seattle at …. That no good lousy woman, she never loved me!  I will show her!

Here is today’s final note.

A woman has taught her bird to cuss out her neighbor and is in hot water because of this.  But please consider this at the same time, if you can teach a bird to cuss someone out on command, why can’t we teach these bird-brains in Congress how to budget and cut back on some of this unnecessary spending.

OOO

​I Don’t Know

Three little words in the English language that can mean a great deal.

I Don’t Know.

I don’t know why girls that are incredibly good looking, get tattoo’s.
I don’t know why they put realistic doorbell sounds in commercials and wake me up.
I don’t know why I have to wait for a green arrow, when there is no traffic approaching.
I don’t know why it is that I bought a bus.
I don’t know how to fix a lot of items on that bus.

I don’t know how a black cow, can eat green grass, and give white milk.
I don’t know why my kids can never buy me a meal, I have fed them all my life.
I don’t know why Ramco wants two-grand for new chrome plated mirrors on my bus.
I don’t know why parts guys can’t give me a straight answer instead of made up stuff.

I don’t know why a kid would pierce his lips, eyes and face.
I don’t know where space starts.
I don’t know where space ends.
I don’t know why a Vegas blackjack dealer seems to always win.

I don’t know why diesel in the ground goes up in price over night.
I don’t know why Viagra works, but then again, who cares?
I don’t know why you can seldom find good information on bus conversion boards.
I don’t know why I make a bet with my wife, when she loses, she never pays up.
I don’t know why cellphones are all that great.
I don’t know why when you drop a tool, it rolls underneath to the exact center of the bus.

If you have ever wondered if your children have brain damage, there is a simple test.  When you find them really messing up things and you ask them “Why did you do this?”  If they answer “I don’t know.”  They have brain damage (by the way, our kids were loaded with it).

I don’t know why I hate DiscoverCard commercials but I do.
I don’t know who invented rap music, but I would like to talk to them about it.
I don’t know who won the war on drugs, but it wasn’t us.
I don’t know why a kid would buy already worn out Levi’s for $150 each.

I don’t know why my wife loves me but she says she does.
I don’t know why it is always MY LANE that is shut down in 1,500 feet.
I don’t know why everyone else won’t let me over.
I don’t know why Dial soap works but I am glad it makes me smell better.

I don’t know why my dad would look at me when I was a young kid, shake his head, and then say to my mother …. I just don’t know about that kid.  When I was small, I remember one thing about my Dad.  I would ask him a question, something simple like, “Where do Butterflies sleep at night.”

And bless his heart … He would always say … “I don’t know, go ask your Mother.”

Happy Fathers’ Day.

BCO

Here is a really good take on it, check it out:  Master Of The Dance.