Jus Sayin 1203

The guy in front of me orders, and then when finished looks at me, and flatly states to the girl, his name is "The Mouth From The South.” Now I did not actually know this person, and found this to be offensive. Instead of nailing him, I took it in stride, and proceeded to ignore him the rest of the evening. It seems to me that people are too quick with the name calling these days.
Gmail gives you a whole 30 seconds to make up your mind whether or not to send your vile, venomous, slandering, vitriol laced email or delete it.  So if you are going to call Uncle Paul a dirty, low down, egg sucking Dawg … and change your mind, because you forgot your birthday is next week, you had best be quick about it.

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Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing IT with each other.  Mine is around $50. My wife’s is around $643.27.

Apparently.

“Find out if your heart is strong enough and then ask your doctor about having sex.”   Okay, I will, but he has never brought it up before,

I just know it will just lead to another prescription.

When I was a little boy, if I got sick I went to a doctor, who sent me to a hospital to be treated by other doctors.  Now I go to a family practitioner who belongs to a “health maintenance organization,” which sends me to a “wellness center” to be treated by “health-care delivery professionals.”

All that, just to tell me

“Do not use the diving-board when the swimming pool is empty.”

Commenting on FakeBook is really easy, often just a cut and a paste away from immortality.  The tricky part is spelling all of it wrong.

Gmail gives you a whole 30 seconds to make up your mind whether or not to send your vile, venomous, slandering, vitriol laced email or delete it.  So if you are going to call Uncle Paul a dirty, low down, egg sucking Dawg … and change your mind, because you forgot your birthday is next week, you had best be quick about it.

If you turn in your neighbor for beating up his kids, will he still loan you his tools?

Lori

One of the things I regret in life is the fact that I did not do a lot of skinny dipping with all those young, supple, well endowed, bow-legged women in high-school, and now much older and graduated, wish I had done more of that.  That would be a genuine sincere form of regret.

BEST ONE OF THE WEEK HANDS DOWN.

News Channel Five (Live! …  Late Breaking!  … Really Lame) reports that in Oklahoma City, a burglar broke into a home on the north-side of town, and according to the home owner, all that was taken was a toothbrush.

Yes, hard to believe, but it is true.  Wonder why he apparently left the mouthwash?

Jus Sayin

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Closed Sites … Like Mind Socializing.

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This year (which is incidentally better than half way over), I have learned some new tricks, smoothed out some new wrinkles in my life.  Learned if you see a notice on a FakeBook site and it says, “Closed Site” or something stating it is more or less private, then it would be a good deal to pass. 

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Test On Friday …

Old guyMan that expression used to literally send a chill up my spine in High School … “Smith, there is going to be a test on this Friday.”  Funny how times change, now I see people flocking to take tests all the time.

Each week on FakeBook I see all of these “so-called quizzes” where you are told the meaning of your name, how old you REALLY are, how smart you seem to be or could be.  I find them amusing. 

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Pull On My Ears, Give Me Some Love …

I meditate.  I burn candles.  I drink green tea.  And yes … I often want to smack people.  Nothing seems to work here lately.

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On days like I just had today, I want to walk over to someone and stick my head in their crotch and take a long, deep-breath just like Jack, and let them scratch my ears.  There are days, believe it or not, that the life of a dog would actually be preferable.

But alas, I don’t have enough money to buy a fine dog to live vicariously thru, just a pocket full of kindness to make him wag his tail.

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

One last thing:  “Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail, friended me on FakeBook or came to this webpage in the first place?

Me too.

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I Will Drink To That …

whiskey shotSome people can easily turn off the Internet and ignore their favorite haunts. But many have the urge to compulsively “just check,” no matter what conversations and activities are going on around them.

That’s because each notification, like, and communication, is a stimulant that acts as a pleasure hit to the brain.  Better than Denver smoke, or a doctored candy bar in some instances. It also creates an instant sense of excitement and a false expectation of being needed.

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