More Not Fresh Pressed Baloney

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REACH OUT AND BUG SOMEONE:  Went to the telephone store yesterday.  I look at the kid and say, “My telephone bill is five dollars high this month, can you tell me what is going on?” he says, “Let me see your bill.”  I say to him, “they don’t send me a bill, they do it all electronically.”

So we walk over to the computer and I give him all of my identification and the name of my first born male child, we are off and running. He says to me “Here it is.  You had 12 photographs at .50 cent each.”

Now as our kid is really proud of his kids, and sends pictures of the youngest standing next to a trash can all of the time.  Some months ago, I had this feature disabled on my phone (along with text messaging at the same time) or at least I thought I had this covered.  I am not supposed to get photo’s or text, I am just supposed to get telephone calls for new storm windows, carports, septic tank pumping, miracle weight loss cures, stuff like that.

I tell him this, the nice kid, who still has lipstick on his cheek where his mother kissed him good-bye this morning. 

He offers me nothing.  So I say to him, “I never got any pictures, this has to be a mistake.”  He says, “Let me see your phone” and he looks for the pictures that I received that are clearly not there, and this shrugs his shoulders and says, “Must be some kind of glitch.” He removes the charge and gives me a credit, which doesn’t really put anything back in my bank account, so we may or may not be done with this issue, I am not sure.

I then ask him, “How about these junk telephone calls, am I being charged for them?” and he says, “No.”  I ask him, “so I am not charged for them even if they leave a message on my voice mail?”  He says, “Oh that is different.  If you open your voice mail and listen to the message, then you are charged for the call.”

Hmmmmm, “this means, that I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t, wouldn’t you say?”

He smiles, and says … “Yes sir.  That is about it.”  Nice kid, most likely will be some kind of politician one of these days.

FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES:  I live in what they call a “Fly Over State” and see a lot of aircraft in the sky.  Have you ever wondered how many airliner’s are flying above this country at any one given time?  The numbers are clearly amazing, it would astound you.  I often look up at see the contrails in the sky and wonder where it is they are going and why so many of them are up there.  Here is a link, you can check it out for yourself.

The technology of this site amazes me.  Lot of interesting data can be found.  I clicked on one that said it was Air Force One and I found a shot of Mr. Obama’s aircraft on its first pass over Texas, you can see it here.

EIGHTY-NINE CENT PIE:  We are at the Root N Scoot, I have to buy my lottery tickets for the game on Tuesday.  I don’t want to be stinkin’ rich … but I would not mind smelling bad.  Anyway, this gal, all decked out to the nines in jewelry and stuff, bling-bling (I don’t know if it is real or fake, but it looks nice) walks up to the counter, lays down a .89 cent pastry.  No big thing, right?  Then she pulls out a credit card and pays for the pastry with the card.  Now here is the rub, she walks outside and get into a Lexus SUV.  What is wrong with this picture Boys n Girls?  Sort of like this thing one of our readers sent to me this week:  

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This is kind of hard to read, here is what it says:  “A woman said she noticed her purse missing from her car just before 5P.M. Sunday. The car was parked at her residence on Hornet Drive.  The woman said the car had been locked, and her purse was in the back seat.  the purse was valued at $400, the wallet was valued at $200, and cash in the purse was reported to be $800.  Also missing were the woman’s Food Stamp Cards.”

Kind of brings a tear to your eyes, doesn’t it.

ALL TANKED UP:  Subject: New gasoline coming to your gas station. Folks pay real good attention to this one.  Those friendly folks at the EPA (which stands for Exxon Prostitutes, whores and a**holes) all those unelected buddies, we have in the government have come up with a new wrinkle to get you out of your car.  Watch this video about E15 gas if you have a car older than 2012.  There is a link to the story on Fox News, but if you go to that link, surprisingly the video and information is “missing.”  Hmmmmmm?  Over on Utube you can find it all.

This move by the oil companies and the government together is in your best interests.  You see as we all slowly digress to a nation that produces nothing but debt, if we do not have an ample supply of doctored up gasoline (which insures our sucking off the petroleum tit for the next 100 years easily) we will not be able to deliver pizza’s to each other and get them to the house while they are still warm.

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Is this statuetory rape?  Or is it just a moosedemeanor?  

(Stop laughing! This is serious.)

Now I am off to the tireshop.  They put four new tires on my car last month to the tune of almost $700 and the right-front will not hold air for some reason.  I just can hear it now … “Have you been running your car with the ignition turned on?  This could affect the outcome of your final billing Mr. Smith.”

OOO

Corn Fed Unlead

Ethanol ... America's Latest Witches Brew

Gas is on the move again, inching towards some unseen pinnacle of avarice.  Bob in Massena, New York who is stuck in the slow lane, is having gas pains, he is concerned about the price of motor fuel, and for good reason I must admit.

Hard to figure, demand is flat, supplies are ample, the American Highway for the most part is empty, but the price of motor fuel continues to rise.  Bob erroneously (in my opinion) believes  that OPEC is the main culprit in this high-octane-scenario, but the main players are here at home, big oil and the government.

It wasn’t all that long ago that we were being touted with Ethanol as the magic elixir to solve all of our energy problems, if not eliminating them, then surely it was going to make a dent in the overall oil import problem. Now a fair piece down the road we discover that it is all smoke and mirrors.

Once again, our government who has time after time promised swift action to alleviate this problem, has served us another crap sandwich and it still tastes the same.

Ethanol is a scam nothing more than a $7 billion dollar federal subsidy to farmers to grow corn. It is for all intents and purposes a second rate fuel, designed to reduce imports, that has failed miserably. Now there is growing concern that it also adds to our environmental problems to boot. It creates MORE air pollution than regular gasoline, and it delivers in the end, less miles per gallon.

Ethanol eats up rubber seals in your engine, it works hard to produce nitrogen oxides and other key pollutants by about 7% over gasoline. It is corrosive to fuel lines in older cars, lawnmowers and other non-road engines. So why is it being shoved down our throats.

Mr. Obamma has just mandated the increase of 10% per gallon to 15% by executive order. Good news for the Ethanol industry who has over-built their factories and money in the bank for the American farmer.

You on the other hand … well … You take it in the shorts again … Same old deal.

But there is hope for Bob in Massena, New York, and the rest of you. It comes in the form of the Ford Fiesta, a spiffy little car that is gets downright stingy with a gallon of gasoline.

2011 Ford Fiesta

It’s miserly fuel consumption estimated at 30 mpg in town and 40 mpg on the road is going to be a big draw when gasoline hits the three dollar plus mark. This little car may be one of the reasons Ford Motor Company just posted a $1 billion dollar profit.  Ford incidentally is the “only company that didn’t line up at the Federal trough for free taxpayer bailout money.”

It is a small car, which on the inside, looks a lot more expensive than it truly is ($15,675 U.S.) and with it’s impressive fuel numbers should be a big hit in the coming months as gasoline continues its upward spiral. The other thing I found interesting was the reviewers comment at the end. He said: “the fact that the car is oozing-molasses slow. 30mpg in town and 40mpg on the road.  A big draw is its impressive gas mileage. But will people find the Fiesta interesting enough to buy when gas is cheap?

Cheap gas?

I don’t know what this guy is smoking, but I would like some for the weekend.

OOO

Possibly related:

TANKS A LOT

GIVE UP … SURRENDER.

GREED TO GO

Engage Dammit


Welcome to my world, won’t you step in and stay awhile.  Your outer world … your environment, the noise level, the relative calm or chaos in your life … is usually a reflection of your inner world, the degree of peace and equanimity you experience in your mind.  You made it, it is Friday, you are here, right on time!

Earthlings Beware

After a former British Ministry of Defense official revealed this week, that the Royal Air Force has fired on UFOs several times “with little effect.”  RAF planes had had numerous encounters with mysterious aircraft, and had only fired when a UFO was “deemed a threat.”  Perhaps after a visit to the local Sushi Bar and a generous helping of Blowfish?

Noise Abatement Down Under

Two things I am not a big fan of, #1 is Boom Boxes, and the people who drive around all day long with vibrating trunk lids and scream at the girl at the counter when they order their food.  #2 is this ridiculous fad of these incredibly over-sized non-mufflers on these small foreign imports.  Both I find equally irritating.

I found this over on Dustbury.comBeware of the Phantom Expander.  Not a new lingerie feature, but a vigilante of sorts: A “phantom” with a grudge is roaming the streets of Blenheim [NZ] armed with tubes of expanding building foam, exacting revenge on “wide-mouthed” boy-racer style car exhausts.

In an anonymous letter sent to The Marlborough Express, the self-styled “Phantom Expander” said he or she was randomly targeting vehicles with wide exhausts and filling them with the expanding foam.

“I have taken it upon myself to respond to the socially maladjusted Blenheim pinheads that have chosen to have a wide-mouthed-boy-racer exhaust installed on their car,” the letter said.  The writer said in the letter received late last week that eight vehicles had already been targeted.

I hold no brief for non-muffling mufflers with fart-can outlets, but I have a feeling that the Expander will be fairly quickly caught in the act, and that the catcher, far from being amused, will take action against the lad’s own exhaust, as it were. One can only hope.

Southbound and Down

Newport News Virginia – A monarch butterfly released at the Virginia Living Museum made it all the way to Austin, Texas, covering more than 1,300 miles in three weeks. It was spotted by a 6-year-old boy doing a science project on monarch migration, the Newport News museum said. It’s the third time since 1996 that a butterfly tagged by the museum has been located.

Finally a CEO and a Company that gets it.

Read all about here at the TrueBlueTexan.

Smile You Are Busted

Flagstaff Arizona – Drivers busted by photo-enforcement cameras along state highways in northern Arizona’s Coconino County will have to pay to challenge speeding tickets. Coconino County Justice Courts will charge $20 extra when drivers challenge or ignore their tickets. The only way for drivers to avoid the extra fee is to pay the ticket without question.  There is a word for this in the legal community; it is called “extortion.”

Nice try … No Cigar

Minneapolis, Minnesota – A University of Minnesota study found that corn ethanol is no better than gasoline as a fuel and may be worse for air quality. The study estimated the economic costs to human health and well-being from gasoline, corn-based ethanol and plant-based ethanol. Researchers concluded that ethanol made from switchgrass and other plant materials is best.

Scientific proof now exists that it actually uses MORE energy to produce ethanol than it produces, so much for the miracle cure-all for America.

Here is another one that I like:  “There’s been a lot of talk about coal being an unclean energy source.  But the truth is, Southern Company is working toward building the world’s first zero-emissions, coal-fired generating plant.” Now let’s review, “zero emissions” does this mean that absolutely no CO2 is released into the atmosphere, is this a true statement or not?

Isn’t it curious, there are methods or procedures to use coal for gasoline, but no one in this country seems to want to investigate it or make use of the technology.

The procedure or formula was first introduced to the world during WWII when the German’s first discovered it, and South Africa has taken it upon themselves to improve the process and make it even more profitable.

So why is it that in South Africa, they are currently producing gasoline from coal, but in this country, which has an abundant supply of coal, the effort is not considered worthy of mention. Wonder why?

Punching In Early

Charleston West Virginia – Kanawha County teachers who come to work every day will no longer receive up to $1,050 in incentive pay. The attendance incentive was created in an effort to save on costs for substitute teachers. In the last school year, the county spent $582,000 more in incentive pay than it saved hiring fewer substitutes.

I wonder who it was that came up with this no-brainer, paying people bonus money just to show up?  And of course, “where do I go to collect the $42,000.00 that someone owes me for my years of faithful on-time performance.”

On the same token, another school this week announced that they “were suspending Veteran’s Day and not celebrating it any more, as the majority of the students did not know the meaning of it.”

Here is a novel idea, you are a SCHOOL why don’t you TEACH THEM THE MEANING of the holiday.

Like the poster in the home room reads:  “There is no end to your limitations, study hard, and always be on time.”  Gawd, and we wonder why we are behind the rest of the world in scholastic endeavors.

There is no end to stupid, stupid is all around you, just look for it.

The next time you’re feeling a little uptight in your home, try to imagine that a total stranger somewhere, is taking notes on your behavior. You should be alright, just remember a few key points in life.  The third donut is 1.5 donut’s too many, and the last piece of pie, is the best.  Take a lesson from Wall Street, “Money cannot buy happiness … but it sure makes a pretty good down payment.”  A few simple rules … for a better U.S.A..

Have a great weekend and keep a sharp eye peeled for the occasional UFO.

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think



The Verdict Is In … You Lose Again.

The U.S. Supreme Court just ruled that it’s unconstitutional for Louisiana to impose the death penalty on prisoners who have been convicted of raping children. What is this all about? I guess this is the last domino in the chain to fall; now even children are not held in high regards by the courts in this country.

Which might be why I don’t personally hold judges of any type in high regard either.

Just this week in Los Angeles, California, a porn case was dismissed because the presiding judge was found to have porn on his personal website. Tucked away in a folder, accessible to the public, containing images of masturbation, public sex, and other graphic sexual acts. The judge said that he thought the folder was shielded from public view by a password.

It was …. “Don’t touch my Pee-pee … Vote For Me”

It appears that those “who sit in judgment on us, are basically just as nasty as the rest of us.” Which in some legal circles can be translated to: “I just read it for the articles.” Where is Denny Crane when you really need him?

Washington, D.C. — A report by U.S. intelligence agencies warns about the national security implications of global warming. The report says climate change is likely to increase illegal immigration, create humanitarian disasters and destabilize precarious governments in political hot spots, all of which could affect U.S. national security.

Now it might pay to remember that this report was generated by these very same people that said that there were WMD’s in Iraq. Those people who I now understand are now working as 7-11 clerks deep in Southern Texas.

Today Oil reached a peak of $5,500 a barrel, and our current president, a three-year old mixed-breed German Shepherd announced that cats will now be allowed to vote …… See how easy it is, anyone can do it.

The United Nations is now saying that “because of U.S. Corn production being converted over to Ethanol production that we are now responsible for the world food shortage and high food prices.” Not exactly true. Production was shifted in 2007, but it only amounted to 20% of the total corn crop and the U.S. Government paid out subsidies to farmers in the amount of some $3 billion dollars.

If you took every morsel, every kernel, each and every ear of corn produced in this country and devoted it specifically to ethanol production it would only meet 11% of the energy needs of this country. I am getting tired of everyone taking a cheap shot at this country.

America is like a big dog in a small room, every time the dog turns around, it is knocking over a table or some piece of furniture. We are dammed if we do and dammed if we don’t.

And when we do help out, those countries on the receiving end walk on the tab, no one ever pays us back, no one ever has a nice thing to say about us. When some inventive American comes up with a genuine plan or scientific process to distillate gasoline from weeds, we will be attacked for pulling all the weeds in the world.

There is so much good in the worst of us

And so much bad in the best of us

That it hardly becomes any of us

To talk about the rest of us

The United Nations ought to go back to minding its own business, which is essentially, doing nothing.

And the beat goes on …

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Media Fatigue

Well there it is again. “Oil is cheaper than other liquids. How the price of a barrel of oil, $124.31 compares with a similar amount of other liquids.” I don’t know about you, but did you ever notice they always choose a liquid standard that is mostly useless.

Milk $147.00 per gallon — Tropicana Orange Juice $226.00 per gallon — Bud Lite $302.00 — Louisiana brand hot sauce $520.00 — Jack Daniels Whiskey $3,568.00 — Chanel #5 perfume $102,144.00

Realistically speaking about the only thing up there that you actually “need” would be milk. And that is it.

So it is basically useless information, drinking a gallon a day of beer, you are a hopeless alcoholic and you should not be driving anywhere, anytime. One gallon of Orange Juice has enough sugar, acid, vitamin C in it to put enough hives on you to make you look like the face of the moon.

All of this is misdirection. It is by design, going to make you think of something “other than the high price of fuel” and nothing more.

No one in their right mind, not even a gator wrestlin’ country bumpkin from the deep south, would drink a gallon of hot sauce, Jack Daniels the same (but on the other hand if you are inclined to wrestle gators on the weekend, a little Jack Daniels might be a good idea), and anyone that uses a gallon of perfume, should not even be out in public. If she does, she is probably a “Workin’ Gal” and that is another post altogether.

The point being, this is ludicrous, unrealistic, and just plain dumb.

Might as well be a gallon of Bat Guano from Carlsbad, New Mexico, a gallon of goats milk from Afghanistan, hot peppers from Central America, moonshine from the piney-woods outside Ft. Smith Arkansas, or Foo-Foo water from Cannes, France.

It would make about as much sense as that does.

Driving by the 7-11 today I notice the price of the stuff (gas) is UP again (big surprise there, no?) and although the numbers show a definite decrease and a positive change in the driving habits of American’s nationwide, we continue to be raped by Big Oil.

General Motors must have sold a bunch of Hummers this week, that is the only thing I could see that would be driving it up in price. Americans are not expecting any relief at the gas pump. Indeed, 86% say they expect it to exceed $4 a gallon and to eventually top out at over $5 that is up too, only 26% of them thought that last year. Americans are paying $1.6 billion a day for gasoline, that is three times what they paid for it 2002.

As I am in a generous mood this day, have not been attacked or mauled lately, my mailbox is no longer smoking. I will pass on to you, two things you can do to beat this.

First, you can make your own fuel at home, start up capital is a little steep, about $10 grand, but you can make your own ethanol.

Or solution #2 … You can buy a fuel efficient automobile made by the Japanese. Honda unveiled its latest big MPG product this week in Los Angeles. A hybrid that gets an estimated 74 mpg and runs on Hydrogen. Only one drawback … in all of California there are just a handful of hydrogen fuel stations, they have been slow to catch on in the Golden State.

No small wonder … Hydrogen is a byproduct of “water” and we all know there isn’t any PROFIT in that, don’t we.

Iceland, a small country at the top of the world, runs all of their cars, trucks and buses on hydrogen. The only oil that they import or use is for lubrication purposes (grease etc) and that is it. But I don’t suppose anyone in Washington, DC every noted this fact. You can write Mr. Bush about it, but I understand he isn’t all that big on reading, might put it inside a copy of the latest video game, better chance of him finding it there, something like Grand Theft Auto II or something like that.

Might as well run this one up the flagpole and see if I can find someone to salute it. And then I am outta here.

One thing I have noticed here of late is the word “Jihad” casually being tossed around by our elected morons. Correct me if I am wrong, but we are “supposed to be at war with Al Qaeda and other Islamic fanatics,” and we are constantly showering them with compliments?

When you refer to an Islamist extremist as a jihadi” or “Jihadist.” You are commenting on them in a positive fashion, you are portraying them in a positive light, not the terrorists thugs, bloody cowards that they are.

As I understand this, in Arabic, the word jihad has only positive connotations; it refers to either a quest to find one’s fate or an external fight for justice. So when we refer to Islamic suicide bombers as jihads, we essentially are calling our enemies “holy warriors.”

Someone needs to fix this or at least point it out to our resident MBA C average dudes.

The people who seem devoted to using this phrase in the wrong fashion are the very same people who told us that “mushroom clouds” over American Cities were a reality, that certain knowledge was indicative to this nuke-uleer holocaust on our shores. That was just before some 4,000 Americans were sent overseas to die, along with some 85,000 Iraqis, not to be confused as resident Jihads or political candidates.

I guess the bumper stickers were right after all.

Language is a funny thing, for example, “The president of Mexico, refers to “illegals” as National Hero’s. Certainly wrong, but that is the way it goes ….. First your money and then your clothes … Or … as Bo Diddley used to say, “Don’t trust anyone but your mama, and look at her real good.”

So that is it in a nutshell. The air in America isn’t the only thing that seems to be polluted these days, lot of television broadcasting is the same.

Now if you excuse me, I have a number three washtub of Craw Daddies and a gallon of Louisiana Hot Sauce to work thru … Should take me most of the weekend.

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