You Have Mail …

hanging-with-friends

Recently when Sony Corp. was hacked and embarrassing emails were leaked, it occurred to me that this could be the best thing to happen to this generation of conversation-challenged people. If sending a colorful, conversational or nasty email becomes a danger, then perhaps they will all have to start talking again. Me? I am not apologizing for nuthin, why should I start now.

Believe it or not, in Korea they are referred to as “The Tribe That Looks Down” because of their obsession with electronic devices.

Yesterday was National Chocolate Day, a day set aside for you to cover with Chocolate anything your heart desires. Please ladies, if you did take a picture of Harvey in his chocolate covered banana sling from Fredericks Of Hollywood, don’t post any pictures of it on FaceBook.

Turbulent time in the City of Angels … The family calls the police, they state that their brother is out of control and acting crazy. The police show up, the brother then attacks them with a hammer, the police shoot the brother and he dies. Now the family is all up in arms because they wanted the police to help their brother not shoot him.

So let me see, if you are cop and someone comes at you with a hammer, you are supposed to just stand there and take it?

I-dont-think-so.com

One more, a little bit closer to home and I am outta here.  Norman Oklahoma, “Police this morning discovered a body, wrapped in chains, hanging in a tree.” Foul play is suspected … Gee, do you think so?

Discover Channel interviewing a convict who killed his entire family and set the house on fire … “Why did you do it?” asked the interviewer.  Convict replies, “Well, they was all home.”

Thank God for prisons.

Let me know if you did not get the email.

Jus Sayin 1202


Don’t you just hate clicking on an email, and when it opens up you see something like this.  “Dear Mr. Smith, my name is Franklin J. Fenstamacher, I am an Agent with the U.S. Copyright Infringement Division here in Washington D.C.  It has come to our attention that” …  
Now those type of emails, I read them all the way to the end.  Man!  I hate emails like those; don’t you guys hate emails like that.

You guys get them too, right?

ATT00001

Not long ago, a cute little honey from my neighborhood friended me on Facebook and push came to shove, a couple of enticing selfies here and there and y’know, we just naturally set up a meet. 

She sent me a message that said “Come on over.  There is no one home.” 

So I jumped into my pickup and raced over there.

Sure enuff, there wasn’t anyone there.

FaceBook is so cruel.

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Email Of The Week (0301)

Found this in my mailbox the other day and thought I might share it with you.

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.  To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase about 10%.

But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.  This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.

I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this . They voted for change… I gave it to them.  I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic …….

Not that I am a big fan of Obama, but there is a better letter.  (There is always a better letter)

Frank walked into his new office, just as the current owner was vacating it.  He exchanged pleasantries with the unlucky fellow who has just been canned and wished him well.  The poor guy who was being fired, handed him three envelopes and said to him, “You are going to need these.  Put them in your desk until the appropriate time.”  

And then he left.

Frank placed the three envelopes in his desk and gave them little thought.  Time went by and things did not go so well for Frank in the new position, and soon the boss called him to the office.  Frank sat there and sweated, he was anxious, he was worried, what could it be?  

At that time he remembered the envelopes.

He opened the drawer and pulled them out.  They were labeled one, two and three.  He put two and three back in the drawer and quickly opened envelope #1.  There he found a slip of paper and written on it he saw ….. “Blame it on the economy.”

So when he went to the office to see the boss, that is what he did, he blamed everything on the rotten economy and slow business.  The boss seemed okay with that, and he went back to his assigned duties.  A little time goes by and then again, the dreaded phone call and the mandatory trip to the bosses office and the “how come chair?”

Again Frank reaches into the drawer and hastily grabs envelope #2, he rips it open, this time he discovers a slip of paper that reads …. “Blame it on the employee’s.”  So this time, he laid it all on the employee’s and that seemed to satisfy his boss and things again, returned to normal.

Now if you are following the story, then you know that all this time things have been going downhill and of course, it erodes to a point where Frank gets called to the office.  Quickly he reaches into his desk drawer to fetch the last envelope, #3 and just as quickly, rips it open, he unfolds the piece of paper and it reads … “Prepare three envelopes.”

Everyone has a story … Try this,

Walking Ten Miles

just to interview for a job.

Have a great weekend, we will see all of you on Monday.

OOO

Here is what folks have been reading this week at Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
A New Look  
Clear Blue Sky  
The Worry Tree  
Once Upon A Time There Was A Father  
Take Your Pick  
Swimming Alone  
12 Days Of Christmas (audio)  
Munday-Munday

Three Little Words

dictionaryNo new Lexicon to add to the mix today, this piece is about just three little words.  I Love You.  I Am Sorry.  I Hate That.  Leave Me Alone.  I Am Done.  Here It Comes.  I Am Sad.  I Am Happy.  Just depends on how you use them.

About a month ago I lost what I considered (up and until that time) a good friend over three little words.  We were having a spirited off line debate on a issue, and after the third time trying to explain my position, I just gave up and said … I Am Done.  And that was it, from that point on, the friendship eroded and fell off the radar.  From that point on contact was cut off and there were no more exchanges.

Maybe I need to buy a copy of ToneCheck?

There is a feature available for certain email software programs called ToneCheck. This works much like spell-check, except rather than correcting your misspelling of “recommend” and overlooking the fact that you wrote “you’re” when you meant to write “your.” ToneCheck highlights content which exceeds some kind of preset filter for negative (or exceedingly positive) emotions such as anger, sadness, resentment, elation, etc.

ToneCheck was released as a plug-in with Microsoft Outlook, and will “allow for personal variations in tone, gauge a sentence’s level of emotional ambiguity and offer suggestions for revision.” A few have suggested that “the tone of my posts” should be a little less intense and so forth, so in my case, it might be a good idea.

Like most Americans “I have the right to remain silent” but seldom exercise that right.  Which of course often brings me grief from the word police or some administrators/moderators.  It might be a good idea for me to purchase this thing and try it out … Who knows, might cut some of you some slack in the process.

As they say …. “You deserve a break today.”

It could be a good deal and then it might be a total waste of money.  I can’t decide if this is really terrific, or laughingly absurd. We’ve all sent an email we’ve almost immediately wished we could un-send (the only thing I miss about AOL), we’ve all cringed at our own words when they come back to us at the bottom of a reply, many of us have probably adopted the if-I-write-it-when-I’m-upset-angry-bitterly-disappointed-resentful-stark-raving-mad-I’ll-wait-for-24-hours-before-sending-it policy.

I guess the assistance of an objective “third party” giving us a virtual nudge and asking “are you sure you want to say it that way?” wouldn’t be a bad thing. I could always choose to ignore it. Maybe someone should develop a real-life version, something along the size of a digital recorder, which we can speak into for feedback before saying what we REALLY think at the next posting, email or meeting.

Anyone want to “chip in” and help ME purchase a working copy?  (Hahahhahahaha.  I think I just hurt myself!)  

In the end I guess it comes down to one thing.  “Can we really expect a software program to be able to recognize the subtleties and intricacies of adult communication?”  

The answer to that one is of course anyone’s guess.

OOO

If you would like to see ToneCheck working, please click on this link here.



 

A Different Perspective

I like Bill, The Crackerboy, one of the things I like about him, is his sincere honesty and his energy.  He has been on my bookmarked list of people for a long, long time.

If you are not reading him, you should be.  Here is one he put out recently, and when I read it I smiled an silently agreed with every word of it.

Check it out:  Why I have not been answering your emails.

OOO

You Suck!

Now and then, you get an email or find something in your site that cracks you up and really makes you smile.  Here is an example, this is for real, found it in my spam folder today.  It reads:  “how do i start a blog with a fictitious writer, parody/comedy/comment on current affairs politics etc?” Which really made my day, I like stuff like that it always makes me smile.

And then there are the other types of comments or email, they are not so pleasant in nature.

One of the bad things about hosting a webpage and having an email link, is sometimes you receive rather unflattering or uncomplimentary missives from people who are not fans or appreciate what it is that you are attempting to do.  Often because of a lack of a good working vocabulary, they will send you something that is short and sweet, to the point, such as:  “You Suck. You are the worst writer I ever read!”

I suppose it is important to have opinions, be them good or bad.  The age and time we live in almost demand them.  We live in a constant, instant communication, Facebook-Twitter kind of world now.  All of them Internet hotbeds just waiting to generate a comment or an opinion.  I have seen one post on Helen & Margaret generate upwards of 1,600 comments and/or opinions.

When you run a webpage you have to weed your way thru the critics and nitpickers.  And it is beneficial to have a thick skin to a certain degree as some critics, comments and/or opinions are not so smart or original, others downright nasty in nature.  Unfortunately there are days in life, when we must stand on the curb and clap as the parade rolls by.  Contrary to popular belief … Not everything you put up is going to go down in the annals of time as a winner.

On the Internet, opinions are pretty common place.  It used to be, we would be weigh what it is that we were going to say, before we said it.  But our new information age, instant communication, call it what you may, doesn’t lend to that.  The sad thing, as I see it, often it is posted before it is considered, and as most of you know, once it is out there, it stays there.

Our so-called “opinions” have become like Big Mac’s … Just thrown together, quickly and hastily and then served by the billions, and often they are hard to swallow and not all that good for you.  Personally, I liked it better the old way, before all this unfounded instant urgency to communicate became so popular.

So here we are.  “You Suck. You are the worst writer I ever read!”  Another fan has been located; stick a bright red pin in the map.  I get a little uncomfortable with the label “writer.” A writer knows all about verbs, nouns, sentence structure, paragraphs, all that other organization/compilation of the English language stuff.  A writer knows (or is supposed to know) how to do this in the correct fashion.  Me? I am a hack, I just hammer it out, and that is about it. I am a “writers” absolute worst nightmare.  Bottom line (as if anyone really cared) I am a story teller … Never have really considered myself a writer.  So I guess that should be: “You are the worst STORY TELLER I have ever read.”

That might be closer to the truth.

Life despite it all, 
is still being good to me, 
I can still maintain a healthy outlook on things in general.
  Unfortunately,
I have suddenly discovered I suck
 … Exactly why no one knows.
  And I am somewhat miserable
 … I suppose just flat outta luck.  I cannot complain,
 I am doing alright.
  My lawnmower still starts on the first crank
  Bills are paid
 … Have a little money in the bank … my favorite Internet numb-chuck sent me his link.  Rest is available to me when I need it.
  My health is improving.
  Still have my cake,
 but because of diabetes,
 I can no longer eat it.  That is how it often goes.
  First your money and then your clothes.  No more phone calls or emails, I believe we have a winner!

“You Suck. You are the worst writer I ever read!”  Now like MasterCard sez, “isn’t that priceless?” 

Another fan has been located; stick a bright red pin in the map.

This bozo probably wouldn’t recognize good writing or genuine talent, if someone handed it to him on a business card.

OOO