You Remember When …


DSC00382There is a well worn phrase or title for sure. This morning I had Valentine’s Day and my A-B-C’s on my mind.  I chose this subject matter.

The Valentine’s post can wait.

Here it comes, are you ready?

Warning: Contains nothing, absolutely nothing of literary value. As most of you already know.  My blog’s major thrust today shall be, complaining, guilt and regrets. I will try not to let good writing get in the way.

 You Remember When?”  Continue reading

Dinosaurs and Progressive Liberal Democrats

You know, dinosaurs really bug me.  How do they know what a dinosaur looks like? I see all these pictures of them, and it is nice how they dress them out, with skin color and different pigments.  But here it is in a nutshell … No one ever saw a dinosaur except for maybe God.  So what makes anyone think they know what they looked like?  I am a huge supporter of National Geographic and all that, but puh-leeze, give us a break.

There were no Kodak Moments in our world some millions of years ago, no one took a photo of one, nothing was ever found scratched on a cave wall somewhere.  So how do they really know what they looked like?  From some very old fossilized bones, bleached white, dug up from the soil in North Dakota?

Now I understand that Louisiana is going to actually start teaching kids about dinosaurs and telling them ludicrous things like “they really lived and walked on the face of the earth” this I believe is called “Creationism” or something like that.  What is this world coming to?

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It’s thought engaging material like this, that brings people to this site over and over.  And you get comments too!  “You are so cool! I do not suppose I’ve read something like this before. So great to find somebody with a few original thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This website is something that is required on the web, someone with a bit of originality!”  

 Then of course, there is reality.  

People do this all of the time, they post “nice comments” on the wrong site, but in this Facebook/Twitter day and age … I will take anything I can get.  Sort of like Tom Cruise, whatever is available, give it to me, I will make it work.

So this morning I am in the kitchen and I am reading this new book that was sent to me by the U.S. Government from their current best seller list.  It is entitled “You and Medicare.”  It is a complete current compendium of everything that an old geezer like myself needs to know about medical procedures and treatments available to me.  

Leafing thru this 140 page document (which is most likely thinner than ANY U.S. Government document thank heavens), I see or note several items that I am sure I have.  So dutifully I turn to page #127 where they say information can be found.  

 Right there I spot my answer … “Please dial 1-800-344-7788 and order your box.”  

It pays to be informed, that is why I am always searching out the answers for the questions that haunt me during the slow periods of Dancing With Stars. er

For instance:  Did you know the five worst mass killings in this country have a common thread.  (Hint #1: they don’t belong to the NRA) 

  1. Ft  Hood … Registered Democrat ~  Muslim
  2. Columbine …Too young to vote;  both families were registered Democrats and progressive liberals
  3. Virginia Tech … Wrote hate mail to President Bush and to his staff ~ Registered Democrat
  4. Colorado Theater …  Registered Democrat; staff worker on the Obama campaign; Occupy Wall  Street participant; progressive liberal
  5. Connecticut School Shooter … Registered Democrat;  hated Christians.

This would lead a person to believe that the common thread is that all of these shooters were progressive liberal Democrats.  Which is “labeling a particular group of people” and should be by all means avoided.  This will get the American Civil Liberties people involved, and we all know where it will go then, don’t we?  

It would be better to say that “all of them shopped at WalMart” or something like that.

Also, of the worst killings in the last several decades, only one was a female, all the rest were boys, barely men, and none of them had a strong male father or role model in the household. Their role models most likely were rappers, action movies, comics and violent video games.   Our problem isn’t weapons, it’s boys without boundaries. Who live in ‘progressive’ households.

So our options are clearly defined here today.  

First we should stop all of this non-sense about the color of the eyes of a Transoraus-Rex, because no one ever saw one, and if you did, that is the least of your worries.  Second, we must remove all Progressive Liberal Democrats from our society along with teenage boys … Then I suppose, we will all be in much better shape, unless you happen to live in Louisiana?

Tomorrow our subject matter will be sperm.  Is it good for you?  Will it help put some shine in your hair, does it really have protein?  This is on the heels of our last far reaching expose on “Pubic Hair … Where did it go?”  And of course a adventure to our favorite porn site which can be found at http://www.youporn.com/watch/Wife shows hubby a good time in the  ….. hey wait a minute, this is the wrong place for that information, that is our other site we run under a fictitious name out of Bosnia …. sorry.  What could I possibly been thinking?

Just remember this …

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Now I am off to check and see who has been Fresh Pressed here lately and I just somehow know it will not have been me. *

OOO

*  Cartoons courtesy of American Progress Online.  If you are a Progressive Liberal anything, Muslim, teenager, or a card carrying member of the ACLU who shops at WalMart, don’t send me any emails, the box is full.

Dinosaur Land

This morning I am thinking about Arizona for some reason.  I don’t know why.  I suppose it is because it is such a beautiful state and a wondrous place to visit.  Recalling a time, now long past, when we were there and life was good.

We are eastbound, just outside Holbrook, Arizona, and the wife notices this huge reptile looking thing, which seems to be running alongside the interstate.  After a little detective work we discover that it is a advertisement for a place called the “Dinosaur Monument.”  We find the exit and do our thing, slowly driving down the road, we note “truck parking” and then down the road, the main body of the place.

A small parking lot, a few cars, and a little guard shack off on the left.

I pull into the truck and trailer onto the lot, there is one tired old soldier sitting there, run of the mill Columbia Freightliner, all alone and by himself.  I pull up, make a slow leisurely circle and then slide up next to the Freightliner.  This is when I notice what appears to be a guard or a man, who seems frantic, running our way waving his arms in the air.  Shut the truck down, opened the door and stepped outside, and this guy runs up to me and matter of factually blurts out ….  “You cannot park there!”

So I look at him and I reply, “How you doin’ neighbor?” and again he repeats, “You cannot park there.”  The urgency is still in his voice, the lack of authority seems to be missing, but you can tell he is clearly upset about this entire thing.

I stretch a little, always good to stretch, to take advantage of the stop, and I say to him, “What is the problem here my friend, I do not understand?”  He then points at the behemoth I am parked next to, the old Freightliner, and says, “this lot is truck parking only sir.”  I look over at Cup Cake and I smile, she rolls her eyes, she knows what is coming next, she knows what is coming down, this is not her first rodeo.

“No problem pardoner, this is a truck and a trailer.”

He then starts gesturing with his hands and arms and making huge circles out of thin air.  Once again, clearly confused and very much not in control, he blurts it out ……… “It is a truck and trailer lot for big trucks” which a new or old Freightliner would surely fit the bill.  Unfortunately, my standard sized pickup and trailer also come under that heading, truck/trailer.

“I agree,” is what I answer up with and add, “and this, this is a truck and trailer parked in a truck lot.”

This time clearly with a sense of urgency in his voice for the second time he says:

“YOU CANNOT PARK THERE!”

I look at him and I say, “So in other words, you want me to drive this rig down there (and I point at the main body of the place, the small lot with a few cars) and you want me to park down there, is that right?” He smiles, he has won, the point has been made, “Yes!  Yes!” he says.  We both meet and agree on a mutual point and he seems dramatically relieved to have solved this monumental  problem.  Graciously, I acquiesce to his request and ask of him, “Can I ask one more question before we do this?” and he says, “Yeah sure, what is it?”

“I was just wondering.  When I get down there to that very small parking lot, it will be okay with you and those people down there when I take up five to six spaces in order to park my rig?  Is that okay?”  He seems temporarily knocked off balance and asks of me, “What are you talking about, I thought we had a agreement on all this.”

“We do, we do, no problem there” I replied, “We do.  We sure do not have a problem on that.  But this thing is 43 ft long, you cannot stand it on its head in order to park it, it won’t fit in ONE SPACE it needs five or six.”

Quickly doing the math required to make all this work, Mr. Security Guard decides that perhaps the best thing for BOTH of us would be to just let it set where it currently was residing.  He says, “Leave it right there where you have it, that will work.”

About that time a shiny little beamer (BMW) with New York tag pulls up, the window comes down and the guy in the driver’s seat asks, “Can you tell me how to get to Monument Valley, Arizona?”  So the security guard points at me and says, “Ask him.”

So briefly I poop the guy up.  I explain just how it is, that you get there.

“Go west on I-40 until you see a sign that says #89 north, Lake Powell.  That is your exit.  You drive north of Flagstaff and you will come to a fork in the road, one road heads north to the Lake Powell area and the other road bends to the east, it will say Kayantah or some other Indian name, heading east the road now turns into #166 at that point.  This will take your right into the main entrance of Monument Valley.”

The New York couple thanks me and then they head off west.  I look at the security guard and I say to him, “why didn’t you tell him how to get there, you live here.”  He shrugged his shoulders and then said, “Hell, you seem to know everything else I figured you knew that too.”

Next time I will tell you about the couple we met at the Painted Desert by paying their entrance fee for them (told the gate guard to pick up the guy behind me, who we did not know).  Turned out to be some pretty interesting people.

Life is short … Enjoy the Ride

OOO

Twisted Evolution

Three of my good friends called to check on me this weekend, I am pleased.  Put me down as a Happy Camper in life.  Of those, my friend Wynell, was even brave enough to venture an opinion of sorts.  She said that I need to get out of the house more often.

So Cup Cake and I, we drove downtown this weekend, for some Mexican Food for lunch. After consuming wayyyyy too much hot & spicy Mexican food we went down to the Bass Pro fishing joint.

Didn’t make a purchase of an item, just browsed the store, looking at the sporting goods, fishing, hunting stuff.  Walked around the store looking at this and that, didn’t really buy anything.
Although I love the outdoors, nature and all the wonders of it, it would be a fair assumption to say that I am not a big sportsman.

Now if I could find a girl that loved to fish, I might consider it.

So we are downtown at the local bait shop and sporting good store.  On the way out of the store, a security guard approached me and he said “Sir, could I have a word with you?” and I sez, “Sure, what is it you need?” and he replies, “We are going to have to detain you for a little while, could you please follow me?”

So then I reply, “Detain me? What are you talking about?”

And he said ….. “Sir. You are under suspicion of stealing duck calls and stink bait!”

Mexican food gets me every time.

Maybe Wynell is wrong, maybe I ought to just stay in the house.  While we are on the subject of food?  (Nice blend huh?  Well, whadya expect for free)  Buffalo Wings as I understand it are forty years old, and that was a NEWSWORTHY item because?  Well they are.  That is another mystery … “Buffalo WINGS?” … Never quite understood the terminology behind that, how can a buffalo have wings?

Just like this dinosaur thing, they say that is where birds came from, they were once dinosaurs and had to evolve.

Taking it one step further I suppose all the buffalo were taken so evolutionarily speaking they were made into birds.  Huh?  Kind of like Chicken McNuggets, what part of the chicken is that, exactly?  How about this “Man from Apes theory.”  If man truly came from Apes and the species evolved  … Then why do we still have Apes?  Just thinking outside the box here, which should be quite apparent.  Another obvious point should be that this is being written by a guy who never had his science project turned in on time.

Let’s get serious.

Why is it that our children cannot read a bible in school, but they give them one in prison.  How come they took out “one nation under God” out of the pledge of allegiance, but are allowed to pass out free condoms in school.  Why do I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, before God and on the bible in court testimony, and inside the same building there are no displays of the ten commandments. If there truly is a “separation of church and state” (I believe there is not) then why is it that my polling place, is in a church?

Just thinking out loud again … Anyone want to take a shot at one of those, any of those?

I didn’t think so.

It is great to have good friends, who like they say in the bible are obligated to check on the old and the feeble minded.  One thing I do know for sure is this.  Nine times out of ten, when someone says to you, “I hope you don’t mind me saying this …. But ….” You will.  Criticism is a good healthy thing, and if it adds to the mix, then it is a bonus.  I just accept it (as best as I can) and tell them this.

When you happen across some of this drivel, my distinct temporary loss of sanity, take it with a grain of salt and move on. It is my opinion, that writers’ write because they like to write, some feel the need to write, others want to be writers, and few if any have a real problem with people who do not understand these concepts.

It is kind of like garbage. Sift thru it, grab what is good for you, what you like, what amuses you, and then throw the rest away. As I am not wanting to be long and boring, uninteresting or Republican. I will check out for now.

To those who occasionally call, and offer your sincere encouragement, thanks for the input. For all of you who check in on Monday’s to see what is new and then comment, again, thanks, we appreciate it.  If it doesn’t agree with you … if it reads well or doesn’t … let me know. Feedback is a good thing. That my friends, is Monday in a nut-shell, I am glad we got all that out of the way, now I can get back into the kitchen and stick my head back in the oven.

I really didn’t want to get up early anyway.

OOO