Mugg Shots

Man, what is this world coming to?  I just read that McDonald’s Hamburgers has been banned from selling Happy Meals in San Francisco, California.  Once again, the elected Nim-Com-Poops have rallied together to “protect us from ourselves.”  Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large groups.

They banned the meals because of their fear that it “might entice children to eat food that was loaded with fats, salt, sugar.”  From here on out, they can only offer a toy with the meal, if the meal is low-fat, low-salt, low-sugar.

I hate to throw a wet towel on all this boys, but the mechanism to keep all this in check was already in place … It is called “Parenting.”

But there is good news, across the bay, in Oakland (The murder capital of California) the “Happy To Be Alive Meal” is still being sold.  The toy this week as I understand it, is a zip gun.

Now on the other side of the country, the Nanny Patrol finds it necessary to cancel school dances.

Hide the adults! Teens are dirty dancing

It’s interesting to note that the dance wasn’t canceled out of concern for the kids — the usual defense — but because teachers refused to subject themselves to another night of watching teenagers dry hump to music. It really makes you wonder whose innocence they’re trying to protect — the kids’ or their own. Posted on November 13, 2010 by Bill on Cracker Boy or you can read the full story on Salon here.

45% of American adults say daylight saving time is “not worth the hassle. While 40% say it is.”  27% say they’ve arrived somewhere early or late because they forgot to change their clocks. And 98.5% say they cannot explain to their family cat at 4:16 A.M. why it is NOT time to go outside each morning.

A Legend In His Own Mind

George Bush released a new book last week, after two years of self imposed exile in the Lone Star State, he is appearing here and there to talk about his book “Decision Points.”  Which I understand is a major yawner available for about $25 nationwide.  Kind of ironic, the book comes out AFTER THE ELECTIONS guess it wouldn’t look too cool, throwing all of your Republican buddies under the bus, a week or two BEFORE the vote is counted.

Anyway, I am going to take a pass, Bush has lied to me before.

Speaking of buses? (He did it again! He did it again!)  Last spring, , an unemployed hotel concierge in St Paul Minn bought an old junkyard bus for $2,000.  He fixed it up, and now drives around the Twin Cities giving free rides to people at bus stops.  He even passes out free coffee and encourages sing-a-longs.  The good news is we need more people like Freddy Jackson, willing to step up to the plate and help out.

The bad news is some jerk will most likely sue him for everything that he has if he has an accident.  That is unless the City Fathers hear of the competition to city run bus lines, and just shut him down completely.

It is not easy being a Freddy Jackson in today’s America.

Another Jackson is in the news again.  Michael Jackson who was named the world’s top-earning dead celebrity this year by Forbes magazine, with $275 million in music and movie revenue.  He is beating out Lady Gaga, Madonna, and Jay Z all of them combined.  This week he released a new single (now that is a trick, releasing a single from the grave) and they swear it is HIS voice on the CD.


As Usual I Save The Best For Last

In the Mile High City (Denver Colorado) they are intent in reducing the size of government.  Now that is refreshing.  I understand that they will soon vote on an initiative to establishing a seven member “Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission” to handle “potential encounters or interrelations with extraterrestrial intelligent beings or their vehicles.”

Which is great, I would hate to think of government wasting money on frivolous endeavors.


Possibly Related: UFO Music


Two Down … One More To Go.

“Although there were signs that its fall was imminent, the empire managed to stave Gotterdammerung for another two-hundred years.”

The Olympics wrapped up and now all the Chinese have to figure out, is how to pay for it all.  All the pageantry and the splendor, isn’t cheap, most countries that host the games end up with a huge tab when it is over.  Olympic games tend to cost an exorbitant amount of money.

The Democrats have concluded the speechifying, glorifying, and pontificating of their chosen hero’s or whatever reasonable facsimile of one, they could dredge up from the gene pool.  The fodder-rall is over in Denver with some noted casualties in the fray.

I hear that Bill Clinton got the loudest applause and roar from the crowd when he said the words “In Conclusion” at the end of his speech the other night.  Bill and Joe Biden seem to be running neck and neck on the verbosity issue, Clinton in the lead, and Biden speaking not in sentences, but rather paragraphs.

I don’t understand why Bill gets all this attention by the media and the Democrats, he has had his day in the sun.

Obammer was talking “Capital Gains Tax” again this week, which is nice, kind of like oatmeal for the masses, but let’s face it, this strategy doesn’t produce one gallon of gasoline, one barrel of oil.  This will do nothing but anger the beast.  You can try and teach a pig to sing, but it will not work, and all it does is irritate the pig.

Another energy genie was there.

Albert Gore has a plan, but his plan takes some ten years to get going, which isn’t going to provide any kind of immediate relief for our dilemma.  And don’t forget the other mover and shaker, T. Boone Pickens, working the room and glad handing those in charge of the federal purse strings.

He finally let the cat out of the bag on what he is really up to.  He says that we need to build a totally new power-grid in this country, and where do you suppose would be the first place that it would hook up?  And who do you suppose he wants to pay for it?

Is it just me or have you noticed, that no one seems to bring up the subject of our refining deficit, why is it no one wants to build a refinery or at best, even talk about it?

The people of the United States deserve a coherent energy policy, a policy that will offer them a future free from dangerous dependence on foreign oil.  We are now sucking down roughly 12 million barrels a day, to put it in the proper prospective.  Saudi Arabia pumps about 9 million barrels per day.  No one, can sustain levels like these.

Man, got my electric bill yesterday, all this hot weather, my tendency to sleep in a cool house at night, really adds up at the end of the month.  Across the nation electric rate hikes are on the move, at least seven states this week announced rate hikes of 20% or better.  The TVA (Tennessee Valley Authority) said the hike will raise about $2 billion and is expected to be passed on to about 8.8 million rate consumers.  They are blaming the high cost of fuel, and a three year drought that has lowered hydroelectric water levels.

Wonder what it is going to be like when everyone starts plugging in their electric cars?

Yesterday I commented on a poop shooter in Ohio that got fed a hand grenade for lunch.  Today it is a poop shooter seat auction in Lucas, Kansas.  An art gallery is hosting a show and benefit auction of toilet seats to raise funds for a new public restroom.  The Great Toilet Seat Art Show at the “Flyin’ Pig Studio and Gallery” will be held Saturday during the town’s annual Apple Festival.

Sounds like a fun place to take a date.  B.Y.O.P (Bring Your Own Paper)  Don’t forget your digital camera so we can post the photographs later on in the week.  I wonder if they will have “Sunday On The Pot With George” a painting in pointillist style (made up of dots) depicting a heavy man wearing only his underpants, sitting on a toilet.

One reviewer called the work “the single most memorable artistic experience in my life …   a bit like my recent  bout with shingles.”

Ralph Stephens in Virginia Beach is a happy camper this day.  He has won the $100,000 Jackpot in Virginia’s Lottery Cash 5 game three times.  He won on August 3rd of this year, in 1997, and repeated in 2007.  Last night we only had two numbers, not exactly collateral for a new house or a trip to Barbados.  But I believe I know why it is that we are not winning.

You see, they just don’t give you enough time “to wish upon the numbers” they are rolling them too fast.

You want paper or plastic?  Consumers seem to be slippin’ back into their old habits.  Plastic is being used more than cash (paper).  Some customers are using credit cards more often.  What their cards are buying:  Gas 70%, food groceries 67%, clothing 51%, Leisure activities 50% and health care 24%.

One more convention to suffer through and we will be done with it for awhile.

Then we can go back to the “good old days.”  Sit back and take it easy, until November and then finally put it to rest.  Ah … The Good Ol’ Days … When can we go back to wasteful consumerism fueled by reckless borrowing against our children’s’ uncertain future.

Is this a great country or what?


“The above material [cartoon] was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)

Rocky Mountain High …

Now for all you “nit pickers” out there, the shot above is of the Rockies in Wyoming.  The post is about Denver, but I like the shot from Wyoming better and it is after all … My blog.  It doesn’t seem to matter all that much, whether I am in the mountains outside of Denver or Jackson Hole, just as long as I am there.  Just something about the mountains ……

City fathers in Denver announced this past week, that pot smoking during the Democratic Convention will not be tolerated, and tickets will be issued and fines levied if you are caught toting up.  What are all these Democratic Liberals going to do now?

We cannot have a bunch of pot smoking representatives going around all zonked out, first thing you know, they will be doing something stupid, like “legalizing freedom.”  And we cannot have that.

Our moral leadership doesn’t want to get rid of drugs because, in their own sick way, they think drugs are good for the economy.  After all, drugs get more people in jail.  And then the corrections officers sell drugs to the inmates in order to help them while away the time.  It is not a good deal, but in this day and age, it is good to have “two jobs” because that is what it takes to get by anymore.

I got pulled over back in the seventies, me and another dude had just finished a doobie and things were a little bit out of whack you might say.  The cop walks up to the car and he says to me, “Where is your license?” and I say “It aint on the back of the truck?”

Yeah, like that dog would hunt.

The war on drugs is a huge waste of money, evidently something the city patriarchs in Denver are unaware of.  Basically what we have is this dog and pony show that tells everyone that they are going to eradicate this menace on the land (something they have failed at for over thirty years that I know of) and it makes all the respectable voting folks think something is actually happening, when it is not.  They have to pander to this majority of people who still vote, because most pot smokers do not.

They just show up at the local polling place, Twinkies in hand and lament  ….  “What?  It was yesterday?”

People who smoke hooter get messed up will make all these wild promises.  Say dumb stuff like:  I am from Arizona, which is basically a minimum-security prison with golf courses and undocumented workers.  And my dream for America is for your children to have everything that my children never had. Which is pretty unrealistic.  They already have.  Because of lousy government policies in the past (or rather lack of policies would be more realistic) they already have what YOUR kids didn’t have.

Global warming and the melting of the polar ice caps because we burn to much “Clean Coal.”  Holes in the Ozone because we love spray on deodorant, no retirement security plans, no health insurance, AIDS, 62 STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases), a dollar that is basically worthless (worth at best about 16 cents), gasoline at $4 a gallon ….

Because of past policies, their dream has already been realized.  You don’t have to be loaded to understand that, but it might help you deal with it in the end.

Personally I no longer do drugs.  I had my fair share of them in the sixties, “the sixties were really good to me, a large part of those years are now just a gentle wind blowing in the cavities of my mind” (or some other suitable Glenn Campbell tune) but I don’t do that now, I have moved on.

I got tired of waking up on someone’s living room floor, or surfing the coffee table at parties, and the police cars, all the racket, well, it just wasn’t cool.  So I stopped, as I tired of doing weird stuff all the time.  If you don’t think drugs will mess you up?  Then consider this, The Beatles had to be pretty spaced out … They let Ringo sing on two of their albums!

So that is the sad news, “No Rocky Mountain High” in Denver.  If you want to twist one up in your hotel room I guess that is okay, but don’t take it down on the convention floor.  You will get busted.  If you are still somewhat confused and uncertain, we have for you a quick little update … How you know you are in Colorado.

Click here.


Creme De Crude …

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “Regardless of the vibe you think you’re getting from your dentist, you should never, ever, lick her finger.”

Arizona: Officers dispatched to what they thought was a domestic disturbance Monday night discovered a lone Mesa man fighting with himself. Though the original call reported a verbal argument between a man and a woman, police said they found the 21-year-old man arguing with himself, changing the pitch of his voice as he acted out each part.

The man was also destroying the inside of the apartment, officers said. He broke the front window as officers tried to calm him down and coax him out of the home, according to authorities.

Now let’s see. If you are crazy, they take you off to someplace like this guy, and shut you in a room by yourself. If you write a blog, you go off, shut yourself in a room by yourself and write. Hmmmm … Kind of like people who write in blogs everyday.

Denver, Colorado – Good news and bad news. First the good news, if you win over $1200 at anything, they are going to check to see if you are behind of child support or other pressing items, and divert the winnings to the mother and the kids that need it. This is great. Some help for all those girls struggling to make it on their own these days. It only took “five attempts” to pass this legislation, that is kind of sad isn’t it.

You cannot exercise your right to Free Speech at the Convention in Denver, they are going to erect a fence to keep you out. That kind of sucks huh? Getting where all this “I live in America, I can say what I want about anything” is no longer applicable. By the way, it was a ruling from a “Federal Court” that paved the way for this.

In a related item, half way around the world.

SYDNEY, AustraliaNew regulations making it a crime to annoy or inconvenience people gathering in Sydney during Pope Benedict XVI’s visit later this month were criticized Tuesday as a heavy-handed blow to free speech.

The laws will apply in dozens of areas of downtown Sydney — including the city’s landmark opera house, train stations and city parks — that are designated venues for World Youth Day, a Catholic evangelical festival at which the pontiff will conduct mass and lead prayer meetings.

The regulations give police and emergency services workers power to order anyone to stop behavior that “causes annoyance or inconvenience to participants in a World Youth Day event,” according to a New South Wales state government gazette. Anyone who does not comply faces a 5,500 Australian dollar (US$5,300) fine.

It costs big bucks down under to tell some to “piss off.”

Two young ladies (much too young to drive) in Salt Lake City are protesting the high price of gasoline. Their mother had to cut cable TV in order to purchase high priced gas and they are incensed at the idea of losing their cartoons and favorite shows. So they took some old political signs and lettered ’em up and are walking the streets in Salt Lake protesting.

Sad note, when children have to show the adults what needs to be done.

California’s administration of the death penalty is “close to collapse” and would require massive new state spending or changes in sentencing laws to end decades of delay and dysfunction, a state commission reported Monday. The average death row stay is now 20 years with appeals. Here in Oklahoma, we have a guard dress up in a clown suit, run thru the door and hit them in the face with a poison pie. Not very cool, but it saves a lot of money!

Where is the happiest place in the world to live?  Denmark, with its democracy, social equality and peaceful atmosphere, is the happiest country in the world, researchers said on Monday. Zimbabwe, torn by political and social strife, is the least happy, while the world’s richest nation, the United States, ranks 16th.

Overall, the world is getting happier, according to the U.S. government-funded World Values Survey, done regularly by a global network of social scientists. It found increased happiness from 1981 to 2007 in 45 of 52 countries analyzed.

They allow you to smoke pot in Denmark or is that Norway?

Speaking of pot (nice blend huh) California is trying to place an initiative on the ballot to legalize smoke (pot). Best get your investment portfolio updated to include Doritos’s and Hostess Cup Cakes. This thing passes and the sales of “Munchies” are going to go thru the roof.

The New West Coast Gold Rush.

And last but not least. Sioux Falls, South Dakota was picked as the safest city in the U.S. to drive. It won out over other cities “who were not included in the survey” (I am not making this up). When our mayor was informed of this development he was overheard saying to his staff ……. “Hey? Sioux Falls, South Dakota, has cars!”

Now go shut yourself in a room and write something funny for me to read. There isn’t a dog-gone thing on U-Tube today.