Say It Isn’t So Joe

A record 90 percent of voters say country is seriously off track. According to a new ABC poll, 90 percent of registered voters say the country is going in the wrong direction. Only 23 percent approve of President Bush. After the recent presidential debate someone on McSame’s bus was heard to say … “It’s 10pm, does anyone know what time it is?”

Given the global economic crisis, a record number of registered voters say the country is seriously off on the wrong track, the most since this question first was asked in 1973. At 23 percent, Bush’s job approval rating has fallen below Nixon’s lowest; it’s a point away from the lowest in 70 years of polling, set by Harry Truman in early 1952.

Bush’s disapproval, meanwhile, is at an all-time record — 73 percent. … Reflecting these economic worries, just 44 percent of Americans are confident they’ll have enough money to carry them through retirement. The other 56% are seriously worried about just making it to payday on next Tuesday.

This sure is getting tired and old at this point in the game, I mean, just elect “somebody” and get it over with.

John McSame and Obammer both promised and vowed a different kind of campaign. Yet this one has devolved into the tried and true: Destroy the enemy truth and fairness be damned.

Is this the way to lift up America during these most trying times.

Joe the Plumber = twenty references. Middle Class = True to form, zero.

McSame looked like McCranky this last go around, and unfortunately, not much was new.

One more disturbing item and then I will move on.  Doubt has been cast over the story of “Joe the plumber”, the man who unexpectedly became the star of this week’s US presidential debate. Joe Wurzelbacher, of Ohio, was thrown into the spotlight after he was used by John McCain as an example of who might suffer under Barack Obama’s tax plans.

But it now emerges he is not a licensed plumber and owes $1,200 in back taxes.

The complete article is here, including a short video interview with “our man Joe” at the end of article.  Groan. I am going to write a totally new version of history just like these bozo’s routinely offer us. I will call it Highlights in History, watch for it, coming to a webpage near you soon.

The folks from Somalia are back in the news. Requests by Muslims to pray at work in Grand Island, Nebraska and Colorado, have led to clashes with employers who say they cannot accommodate the strictly scheduled prayers.

Requests by Muslims to pray at work, have led to clashes with employers who say they cannot apease the meat cutting religious zealots.

The conflicts raise questions about religious rights on the job. Muslims say they are being discriminated against and are taking their complaints to the courts and the federal government.

Employers say the time out for prayer can burden other workers and disrupt operations.  The conflicts raise questions about religious rights on the job. Muslims are the most vocal complainers of all the religions in the united states.  This is the best part of the article, “As he voiced his complaints through a translator.”

Here is a novel idea, “if you don’t like it here, why not pack up your sorry butt and go back to the Middle East and you can pray there all you want. That is, when you are not ducking and looking for cover.”

East Brunswick, N.J., football coach Marcus Borden has filed a petition with the U.S. Supreme Court for a review of a federal appeals court ruling that prohibits him from participating in team prayer. Borden’s case began, when in 2005, he was told by school administrators not to lead his players in a team prayer.

Borden is asking the court to review an April ruling from the U.S. 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals. The appeals panel had reversed a 2006 ruling that said Borden and other public school coaches could silently bow their heads and “take a knee” with players as their teams prayed.

Down here, in the states of Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, we pray before Friday Night Football and we don’t think anything about it, but then again, we live in America, not where the rest of these folks apparently live.

Des Moines, Iowa. Operating room nurse Pauline Taylor knows her refusal to get a flu shot is based on faulty logic. But ever since she got sick after getting a shot a few years ago, she’s sworn off the vaccine. “I rarely get sick. The only thing I could narrow it down to is that I had gotten this shot,” said Taylor, who works at University Hospitals and Clinics in Iowa City.

“I know that it’s not a live virus. It just seemed pretty coincidental. Such stories frustrate me, the poor sap, who has to be handled by these so-called “health workers” who do not bother to get a shot. A surprising statistic — nearly 60% of health care workers fail to get a flu shot.

Now don’t get me wrong, nurses have worked hard to advance their profession and dispite some sexist myths do a great job. Portraying nurses as empty-headed bimbos demeans their important work and the education and skills it demands.

As I am old and somewhat bent out of shape ninety-two-point five percent of the time, I desire clean and healthy hands on my body at all times …. Aw what the hey, who am I kidding ….. I’ll take clean hands on my body at any time.

Be Nice – Play Fair – Share.

Civility lessons for the commuter. The Boston-area transit system has placed posters on 600 subway cars and 400 buses, reminding riders to pick up trash, tone it down on the phone, offer seats to those who need them, and let people off trains before getting on themselves. Officials said complaints about poor manners have increased along with rider-ship on MBTA buses and trolleys lately. It is a pretty sad state of affairs when children do not have any social mores, and the parents of the same kids, do not know how to ride politely with other commuters. Is it no small wonder when other nation’s observe us and feel that we are crude, rude and obnoxious.

Great Falls – Montana. The first turbines at a wind farm in north-central Montana are online, supplying power to customers in California. The $500 million Glacier Wind Farm is being developed by Spain-based NaturEner.

The first phase of 71 towers will be producing 106.5 megawatts of power within two weeks, a company spokesman said. Most of the wind farms in our state are owned by outside interests (foreign investment) and it appears that around the country, the trend seems to be the same, people other than the U.S. building public works/private interest for us.

Might be why they are living in robust economies, have rewarding careers and good jobs, and we are headed for the dumpster.

CLEARFIELD, Pa. A chef at a western Pennsylvania Italian restaurant ate a 15-pound burger with 5.2 pounds of toppings in 4 hours and 39 minutes. Brad Sciullo, of Uniontown, is the first person to successfully eat the huge burger at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub, said pub owner Dennis Liegey.

The burger — called the Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser — includes a bun, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and relish. When asked what possessed him to eat a burger that big, the 5-foot-11, 180-pound Sciullo said: “I wanted to see if I could.”

“I’ve always had a heck of a capacity and I can down about two gallons of water and I can do a gallon of milk in 20-some seconds,” said Sciullo, a chef at Pasta Lorenzo’s in Uniontown. He was later spotted on the house telephone calling Joe The Plumber.

NASA has commissioned a specialist to recreate the smell of outer space – which has been described as being similar to fried steak and hot metal. The research is being conducted so astronauts can get an idea of the kinds of conditions they will experience. Once again, the prudent spending of your tax dollar for the benefit of a greater society.

Steven Pearce, a chemist and managing director of fragrance manufacturing company Omega Ingredients, has been working since August to recreate the smell – he hopes to be finished by the end of the year.

“We have a few clues as to what space smells like. First of all, there were interviews with astronauts that we were given, when they had been outside and then returned to the space station and were de-suiting and taking off their helmets, they all reported quite particular odors.”.

“For them, what comes across is a smell of fried steak, hot metal and even welding a motorcycle. NASA said he has successfully produced the smell of fried steak, but recreating the smell of hot metal has proven to be quite difficult. Perhaps a sniff of the end of the barrel of Cheney’s shotgun would do it?

Hey, feed me two Taco’s and one super-sized all bean Burrito and I will give you all the smell and space you need!

Yeah, I know gross. Don’t write me any letters, the box is full.

Have A Great Weekend.


The cartoon was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)

It Is Gonna Be Just Fine

Then Joe Biden sez ...

And then Joe Biden sez ....

The 2nd Great Debate went down and now I have everyone explaining it to me as if they didn’t do enough of that last night?

Another taste of the “dumbing down of America” courtesy of CBS, ABC and NBC.

We may soon be losing “Biggy Rat & Itchy Brother” and the replacements, don’t seem to be that outstanding or remarkable to the average voter

(Or as Yummy Mummy calls him … Six Pack Joe).

Other than “ABC’s Dancin’ With The Stars” (please shoot me!) the fare was rather limited. But that is nothing new for television, America’s vast wasteland of entertainment. So I watched the sorry mess last night, and it was not with great anticipation, just out of routine and morbid curiosity you might say.

No new revelations … Kind of like Chinese Food, it is okay while you have it, but later on, you are going to be hungry for something else.

So everything is cool, the “Street” is under control (for the remainder of this year anyway or until the check bounces), we are friends with the Russians (sort of) but they are rattling the swords again. Not like the old days, when they took all of their dangerous stuff and dismantled it.

We then in turn, did the American thing, gave them billions of dollars in cash to spend.

Our biggest trading partner China, which bought up most of our debt in the past, suddenly isn’t anywhere to be found. We bought all of their junk, and as an added bonus, gave them most of our nuclear secrets and technology. They recently launched astronauts into space so they studied well. Bush I understand asked them “if they could see the red states changing color while they were up there?”

So, nothing to worry about.

Now, all the little kiddies that had to duck and cover, hide under their desk in grade school for an Atom Bomb drill, are safe, and they don’t have to worry about their grandchildren either. The economy and oil companies are eating our lunch a little bit slower now (kind of like being snake bit, taking ‘em awhile to kill us all off). We don’t have to worry about “The Big Red Button” and the dog eaters north of the fortieth parallel and we can trust that they will not be tempted to play with their nuclear toys during the upcoming holidays.

Please do not forget … We now have The Alaskan Moose Gooser Yummy Mummy … And she is watching them from her front porch.

About the only disarmament debate that will be important is the short walk to your car after the movies. And perhaps, who is waiting in the parking lot for you and your purse and/or wallet. Lot of folks walking around with no pocket money, hungry kids at home, and no job. Did you notice that McSame neglected the word “Middle Class” last night, just as he did in the debates/convention before.

The Little People no longer count for anything in America. Sorry.

Get back in line and shaddup.

I guess the only thing we have to worry about (other than flat out starving too death) is people joyously shooting off firearms into the air at New Years, catching a random slug of lead dropping from the atmosphere. The country, according to those who are supposed to be in the know, seems to be just hunky-dory.

I know it so … they were on every channel last night … Brokaw said it was so.

So that means you will never have to worry about paying $10 for a movie that is so bad, that you get up and leave, half-way thru it. You don’t have to worry about Poison Ivy or Lime Disease on your next trip to the seashore. Things are so good, you don’t even have to worry about taking the trash out, until you hear the truck comin’ down the street.

Things have improved so much, gas is down around $2.60 a gallon (what a bargain that is, eh?) and you no longer have to worry about the character of Hillary, Bill or The Pope. Electricity have gotten so high, I can no longer afford to leave the lights on in the garage, when I drive north to Ponca City to take pictures of a “Real Honest to goodness Oil Refinery” that my nephew in Nashville, Tennessee has never seen.

I am now reassured that I will never have to call a plumber to fix anything, will not gain anymore weight, pay more than $40,000 for a car that gets lousy mileage while hauling six full grown adults. Things have gotten so good, that I am fairly sure that I will never have to stand behind anyone at China-Mart with coupons in their hand. Realize that the best things in life are free … but they are still expensive as hell … when they are not on back order.

That’s what they’re telling me.

As the hole in the ozone depletes and gets much, much bigger, all of this might be our ultimate destiny and we may see it a lot sooner thanks to Cheney & Bush. I don’t even believe the inventor of the Internet, Albert Gore, has the answer anymore.

So now all we have to worry about is whether any of these bozo’s have a grasp of world affairs (highly unlikely), people who seem to completely ignore what Ronald Reagan proved a decade ago. That we as American’s need to be more tolerant of folks who require neither intellect nor knowledge in our elected leaders. A winning smile, a cheerful disposition and a little self-deprecating humor will go a long ways, this little thing if done correctly, will do just fine for us.

The down home Town Meeting is over, and I am reassured.

Wait!  I know this one, I really do.

Wait! I know this one, I really do.

What did I learn? More good-guy opportunists, more bad guy opportunists, more average-guy opportunists, will apply for the lucrative benefits of EVEN MORE government soon.

More greed and a continued lack of compassion for our less-privileged brothers and sisters will prevail.

Science, in the third millennium since Christ, will continue to expand while we continue to remain as we are, predatory beasts with opposing thumbs.

All you have left to do is vote for your favorite American hero on November 4th.

(Twenty-Six more days)


Vote For Me

After watching this so-called “debate” last night. I have decided that I am going to take action.  I am sure I can do as good as they promise to do.


Here is my platform.

(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned nationwide.  English is the official language, speak it or wait at the border until you can. All ballots will be printed in English only and if you cannot read it, find someone who can or don’t vote. Driving while talking on the telephone, $500 fine nationwide, and forfeiture of the automobile on second offense.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country’s attitude.  NO imports, NO exports.  We will use the ‘China-Mart’ policy … ‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.’ Our #1 burning desire or goal, will be the retirement of the Federal debt.

(3) When imports are again allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on them. This applies to everything from luxury automobiles to baby shoes. NO tax on groceries or medicine nationwide. When up and coming countries come to shop, they can bring back dollars instead of junk.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border.  (1 month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens. Northbound? You buy your ticket … You take your chances. 18 years old, you get drafted, serve YOUR country for 2 to 4 years.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state.  If you didn’t put nuttin in, you ain’t gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare – Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade. You check positive for drugs, you pick up trash on the highway in order to receive your “free” check.

(7) Professional Athletes/Steroids – The FIRST time you check positive/banned for life. Stop wasting our time with Congressional Hearings, we have more important fish to fry, and you are not it.

(8) Crime – We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand.  There will be no more life sentences, if convicted you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

Contrary to all this Politically Correct nonsense we will impose a punishment that fits the crime. No more segregation of criminals “for their own protection” all convicted baby molesters and rapo’s to be released into the general population of the prison and let them fend for themselves.

People who throw dirty or used diapers down in a parking lot, will be immediately shot … No exceptions.

(9) Our exports will be selective. Wheat, corn or rice. The world needs to eat.  A bushel of each will be the exact price of a barrel of oil. If OPEC and these other petroleum thugs don’t want to participate, then let them eat their oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes.  When disasters occur around the world, we’ll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it’s a worthy cause.

Develop and establish a policy of “Charity begins at home, and then adhere to it.”

(11) No more federal insurance for people who build condo’s six feet from the water and expect the rest of us to rebuild them after each and every storm. You live below sea level … buy your own insurance or move uphill.

Send “businessman” overseas to negotiate for the best interests and cut the politicians out of the process completely. Get the brightest and the best …and to hell with the rest. Send them Richard Simmons, they will give him anything we want, just to get rid of him.

(12) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress. Establish a national limit to the terms a Senator can serve and impose strict age limits for Congress. If you are 84 years old, you should be sitting on a boat dock in Alabama fishing, not sending kids off to war.

Revamp the current tax system, if General Motors only pays 14% of their gross income … Then the taxpayer should have to pay the same.

(13) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc and sung without personal embellishments, as originally written. Anyone refusing to remove their ball cap should be shown to the nearest exit. Spitting, make a fist, grabbing your crotch while performing will not be tolerated.

(14) National elections will be limited to a 30-60 day period, beginning in July, and no more. If you are elected to office, and choose to run all over the country campaigning, your paycheck and/or benefits, are frozen. When you come back AND START DOING YOUR JOB AGAIN you will be reinstated. Candidates for office should “willingly supply” all documents necessary for election (IE: Birth certificate, residency requirements, etc).

(15) The use of Teleprompters by moron’s and public debate with pre-advanced knowledge of the questions beforehand should be suspended immediately.

If I think of anything else, I will let you know. Please check your local listings for time and place.


Parting shot: “There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.”