I sure hope they spell everything right?
This more than likely will kill my nomination for Okie Blog of the Year. Oklahoma City – Tag agencies across the state began issuing redesigned license plates Friday, to replace the green-and-white tags that have been around for 20 years. The new multicolor tags have “Oklahoma” spelled out at the top in dark letters bordered in gold.
At the bottom is a narrow blue band with the words “Native America” printed in pearl white. A friend of mine recently picked up a DUI after Christmas, when the cop stopped him and said, “Can I see your license?” he replied, “It isn’t on the back of the truck?”— Night in jail.
Sending it to the Landfill
Anchorage Alaska – Glass is no longer accepted for recycling in Anchorage. That means up to 150 tons of glass a month will go to the city dump. The primary reason given for the decision was a significant decrease in demand for the end product. The world economy keeps sinking, and the demand for raw products, decreases daily.
Thirty-four (Count ‘em I said “34”) bowl games scheduled, you have enough chip and dip to cover the spread? If you watch half that many games you could or should be declared “legally dead” to the world. Here is what the average football fanatic wanted for Christmas this year.
Very surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bow, a die-hard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby. “It was my husband’s” the woman explained, “but he died.” “I am very sorry,” said the man. “Yet I am really surprised that another relative, or a friend, didn’t jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him.”
“Beats me,” she said. “They all insisted on going to the funeral.”
Poo-Poo Report, this is too good to be true. But it is.
Greenwich Connecticut – City officials said in a report that a sewer main break on Dec. 12 sent 28 million gallons of untreated waste-water into the Mianus River and Long Island Sound. The Environmental Protection Agency said it is one of the largest sewage spills in New England in recent memory, but officials say they don’t believe there will be any long-term damage to the environment. Now go back and read it again, look at the name of the river, it is almost as if it was made up, but it isn’t.
The Kansas equivalent of Sarah Palin? This dog isn’t going to hunt.
Topeka Kansas – Democratic Gov. Sebelius said a job in President-elect Barack Obama’s administration is still a possibility because she believes Obama will serve eight years. Sebelius took herself out of Cabinet consideration this month, citing the state’s budget problems. Some speculate the two-term governor will run for the U.S. Senate. The guy hasn’t even been sworn in for his FIRST TERM and people are now predicting his tenure is eight years? Give us a break Gov.
More stuff that doesn’t work
Readomatic this “New” wordpress.com feature they recently introduced, isn’t working, seems it posts your stuff now and then, but has some kind of tag problem. So it appears that even tho’ it is a totally new year, wordpress.com still has the same old problems, just a new face on this one.
Hammered In The Deep South
Richmond Virginia – The sour economy has not affected Virginians’ taste for liquor. It’s just encouraged them to do more drinking at home, state Alcoholic Beverage Control sales figures show. From July through November, liquor sales to individuals rose 8.1%, while sales to bars and restaurants increased only 0.6%.
Me and the bride we are feeling alright about most of this. I recently went to the bank and cashed in all my CD’s and moved our money to a Canadian Company that manufacturers anti depressants.
Word Verbage: Hella. (1.) Very, totally. (2.) Lot of. Short for “a hell of a lot of.” Guy #1: That party was hella sketchy. What was with all those skanky girls. Guy #2: There was a hella weed, tho.
“I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.” Actual statement on an insurance form, in which the driver was trying to explain the accident in as few words as possible.
Coffee Drinking Do-Nut Eating Pork Barrel Hogs switch to Dunkin Donuts.
Dunkin Donuts is expecting a solid 2009 the rest of the country’s economic might appear to be rather bleak, but it looks good for Dunkin Donuts, they are sitting pretty and it all looks pretty sweet. They recently bumped off Starbucks as the #1 supplier of as the official coffee supplier of the U.S. Senate Restaurant.
Their new official slogan for the new year will be “You Kin Do It” sort of like Larry The Cable Guy’s … “Get ‘Er Done” I guess. I like their coffee, but at almost $7 a bag, it is too rich for my blood. But then again, I am a six pack Joe, as Caribou Barbie has said, not an overpaid blood sucking parasite in the U.S. Senate.
Atlas Van Lines and Mayflower are reporting that most American’s are hunkering down and staying put. With economics in their current state, it appears that everyone is staying home and getting drunk. Gasoline has went up in my area by .22 cents in two days, so it appears that the honeymoon is officially over, and they are coming around for another pound of flesh.
Amid a sour economy, one business appears to be thriving as the year comes to a close: counterfeiting. Arrests for the printing of fake money have hit a five-year high. If you get a bill with a picture of Cheney or Bush on it, don’t try and pass it.
(It is not “lots of. Short for a hella of a lot of.”)
The Fed’s are now reporting that the bankers have been fed, and they seem to be sated for the time being. Commercial banks and investment firms borrowed less from the Emergency Lending Program last week than in the previous weeks before that. They just averaged $86.3 billion per day, a drop from $88.4 billion the week before Christmas.
It appears that they have all they need … Me and the wife we are still trying our best to “Keep Up With Jone’es, but every time we catch them, they just go out and refinance.”
How about you — How you doin’?