Between The Lines

Look now for glad and golden hours come swiftly on the wing … O rest beside the weary toad and hear the angels sing …  Old buses always seem to run faster on the way home, and most of the time, the road always seems to stay the same.

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What A Beautiful Mess …

Rum Theraphy

It snowed today, came rushing in from the Southwest, most folks I assume were ready for it.  Me?  Kind of oblivious to tell you the truth, winter time is my “shut down mode” time of the year.  My own personal silly season of life, completely self induced and for the most parts, drug free. Continue reading

ObamaCare Certified AARP Health Care Professional Drama

medical emblem

My back is cold and I am lying here on the paper, looking up at the ceiling, and I know I have been in this room before.

How?  The tiles look very familiar, the Dr. walks in, “What is going on today Mr. Smith?”

I always like that, how they refer to me as “Mister Smith.”  A sign of respect, honor, dignity, something I am totally unaccustomed to, believe me.

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Off The Wagon …

 

It is my sad duty to report to you this day, that I fell off the wagon.  Yes, as hard as I tried to relieve myself of this addiction to Coffee, I did not make it.  Just four days, and then I succumbed to the elixir of life, the Caffeine that my body screamed for.  I am an absolute failure, a man of no discipline and this one simple vice.

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As I felt I had no other alternative, I rushed over to China-Mart and bought one of those new fangled coffee brewers.  A shiny little miracle of the modern age that will make 12 cups or 1 cup at a time, via this dinky little cartridge plastic thingy (Okie-Technical-Talk).  The initial “test runs” have proven successful, and we have even figured out how to squeeze two runs out of a one-run cartridge thingy …  Looks like it is going to work.

Here is an email that we found in the box this week we would like to share with you.  A woman’s prayer and then a man’s prayer.

First the ladies prayer.

Before I lay me down to sleep … I pray for a man who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong … One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks … One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s rich and self-employed … And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand … Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen … A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other … And relish visits with my mother.

And then there is the male version of the prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big hooters who owns a bar on a golf course,  and loves to send me fishing and drinking … This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t really care … Hand me the remote and then go get me a beer.

The person who provided us with this little ditty requested we keep him/her anon (for obvious reasons)  We sincerely hope that some of this has helped you thru your day, and if you are not locked down rock steady in your relationship with the man of your dreams, we can offer you a solution …  there is always an expert waiting in the wings … to help steer you down the path of life in your journey of commitment. 

When I do discover his exact location, you will be furnished a link to his FaceBook TimeLine.

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Jus Sayin 1218

recent-shots-006I am desperately trying to stop drinking coffee and it aint easy

The first cup of coffee in the morning is supposed to be the best
But with old age, that is something that goes away too
The first cup of coffee in the morning now has two scoops of Poop-Fairy-Dust (Laxative) which makes it kind of bitter and unpleasant.

Doesn’t help the withdrawl headaches either.

You ever wonder what your dog is thinking when you follow him around with a pooper-scooper and then promptly reach down while it is still warm
and retrieve his business and put it in a bag.

Do the people who shop at WalMart have mirrors in their homes
Why is it a barrel of oil drops two dollars on the open market
but a gallon of gasoline only nine cents, anyone notice that
NASA is reporting that the planet Mars has methane gas
which cannot be blamed on me,
I live 252 miles due east of Amarillo.

Don’t believe these people that are spreading the rumor that says I molested sheep outside Bozeman Montana in 1978 while on vacation … It’s a lie.
And yes …  I still want my Father’s Day Card.

Speaking of Fathers (Nice blend huh?)  

Do you think that Cliff’s wife on the Cosby Show was a lawyer because of a deep seated emotional stirring that the need for a good attorney in the future might be an imperative in his life.
Isn’t life ironic. 

Does anyone have the contact number for Dr. Phil
the voices in my head are screaming for answers and we don’t have a clue
They want to ask him who has the best cellular service and plan for us
and of course, where they find the seeds to plant seedless watermelons
Dr. Phil is always saying he is a “mandated reporter” so I figure that means
he has to answer my question by law …  (and yes, I know there is no such thing as a “good” attorney).

Jus Sayin

She’s Curvy And She Owns It

“Everyone wants to be a winner, everyone wants to win.“

Reading several profiles today of successful people.  One thing that came across as a little bit strange was they all listed “what their ring tones were on their cellphones.”  Now that strikes me as kind of quirky to say the least, why is this fact so important in todays business environment.  My ring tone by the way, is a bell that sounds like a telephone ringing.

Pretty catchy huh?

A girl back east, New Jersey, has been fired for not taping down her breasts at work.  At first it was decided that she was too attractive and her breasts were too big, so they asked her to tape them down.  Then she was asked to wear a bathrobe at work all day long (not likely) and then ultimately she was fired (via cell phone by the way).

She is now suing her ex-employer and I personally hope that she wins.  I mean hell, they didn’t notice any of this when they hired her?  The girl is curvy and she owns it, why should she have to duck and cover, just because you work for someone doesn’t mean they OWN you.

Everyone wants to be a winner, everyone wants to win.

NBC’s America’s Got Talent visited New York City recently for a round of auditions that included a 77-year-old rapper, a dog act and a male performer who allowed his genitalia to be punched and kicked multiple times, with the blows set to music.  Yawn.

So in order to salvage what was left of my sanity, I surfed around the dial a little ….  BURN OFF EXCESS BODY FAT … LOOK GOOD NAKED … INSANITY WORKOUT.  And they wonder why we all seem to be a nation of knuckle-draggin clones?  There seems to be very little truth left in the media these days too.

Here is a question for you to ponder?

When you get your two packs of Sweet & Low out of the jug, and then empty them into the coffee, do you throw the empties away or back in the container?  If you toss the empties in there with all the full packets, it makes life a lot more interesting the next time you go for sweetener.

Try it.

Don’t tell the wife, just do it and then sit back and wait for the fur to fly!

First it is good for you, then bad, then good for you, and then … well you get the drift, dontha?  New study out on coffee, and it is once again, it is good for you!  (Which is good news for me, I drink a lot of coffee, an ocean of it in my lifetime I suppose)  It sure would be nice if all these folks would just make up their mind … Who knows, maybe even give us a nugget of truth now and then?

OOO

[#1273]

The Short Rows

I like the country
Can’t stand all this city strife
Guess I want to be on the boulevard … rollin’
Rollin’ all my life.

Open the east gate of Yellowstone and let me in!
Thinking about Bear Tooth Pass,
Cooke City, Red Lodge Montana
two-lane highways and cheap gas.

Crater Lake,
Junction City,
Tahoe,
Clear water streams
What a hopeless romantic,
a man of many dreams.

No adventure in my life,
No more icing on the cake,
Ho hugs, soft kisses, warm hello’s,
No backrubs, or calls on the telephone,
No important dates for me to make,
My coffee cup has developed a pinhole leak on the bottom,
My first problem of the day.

Wednesday morning, my idle mind draggin’ my heart around. I can hear the low muffled sound of my own heart beating. It disturbs me, a distressing reminder of my own mortality. A slow steady drum beat of how fragile life really can be, and I stop to consider the fact that we seldom realize the frailty of it all.

Sitting here at my window with my cup of Joe, meditating. Today, this day, my thoughts should be concentrated on other things, not so much on leaving, getting out of here. But rather, just making it thru another Oklahoma winter day.

Much like the fading last embers in a dying campfire … the memory of the weekend is fading … Two quick short days in heaven, often just isn’t enough. Perhaps a trip north to Yellowstone or a quick visit to Orlando and some white sand, might just be what the doc ordered up?

I need a two-week placebo for my winter time blues.

OOO