Old School …

imagesDo you remember when the Milkman delivered milk to your front door, and you could sneak over to his truck and get a handful of chipped ice.

How about the Ice Cream man, he actually sold Ice Cream and not dope, like they do today. Continue reading

Wrights’ Law

Usually on the first day of the year, you find a lot of posts concerning resolutions and searches for the perfect sun tan lotion, or how to lose all the weight you have been carrying around with you, or what you are going to try and accomplish in the New Year.

Understandably this is all a good intentioned thrust towards something positive in the year to come.

Recently I came across this piece of video that I found so touching and captivating that I could not walk away from it.  It grabbed my soul, and wrung it out like an old dish rag.  Please take barely twelve minutes of your busy day and devote it to this man and his message … I can assure you, you will be richly rewarded for doing so.

Our regular post will be presented tomorrow, today just watch this and give it some thought.

Thanks.

Wrights’ Law

OOO

The Christmas Letter

Joshua one of our grandchildren is seven now.  I still remember the day I met him, he was a “preemie” came out of the chute weighing less than a five pound bag of sugar.  Real small, I had never saw a baby that small before.  But he turned out just fine.  He is a handful, great little kid.

The other day I walked into the kitchen, and there he sat, little red head facing down towards the table, feet just off the floor, and I thought to myself, “They grow up so fast.  Soon he will be a teenager and we will not have this time with him.”

Oblivious to just about everything in the room, he was deep into his ritual.  He was intently hovering over his piece of yellow paper, the kind with the “big lines” on it and I asked him “Josh, what he are you doing?” and he said, “writing a letter to Santa Claus.”

Carefully, unknown to him, I studied him intently.  I watched him labor with “his letters” as he refers to them, working diligently with each stroke, with care, with his big #2 pencil, he put his thoughts down on the paper.

Who knows?  Possibly for the very first time.

So I slowly walked over to the table and I peered down on the sheet of paper, curious to see what it is that he was so diligently working on and I saw:  “Dear Santa, I can save you some time this year, please skip my sister.”  So I asked him about that, did he think it was right, did he think it was the “proper thing to do?”

And he didn’t quite have an answer for me.

“Josh, you know about the naughty and nice rule, right?” and he shook his little head and said, “Yes.”  Do you think this fits in that area?  Naughty or nice?  He thought about it for a minute and then said, “I dunno.”  So then I said to him, “I can get you off the naughty list, but it costs a buck?  You got a buck?” and like a rocket, he shot out of the chair, ran into the TV Room and said to his dad, “Dad, can I have a dollar?”

Lord help us.

And yes, there isn’t anything better in the world than being a registered Grandfather.

Good Decorations Christmas Parody 

OOO

It’s Bikini Season Somewhere

Winter storm rolled thru here this weekend, and it has snapped off cold, bitter cold.  This time of the year always has me thinking of warmer climes, Florida, The Caribbean, Phoenix or any place over 55*F.

As I don’t feel like making any more contributions to the Oil Executives Retirement Fund (Big Oil) I am surfing the net and staying home.  Found this today, if you like warm weather and smooth looking women this is eye candy for you:  Hollywood Beach Bod’s.

Always something good at ABC News.

 

Fred Smith has a problem.

Things in Batavia, Ohio are not going his way.  Fred suddenly realized that the $1,200 in cash he had been saving for his Christmas gift was missing.  Grabbing his jacket out of the closet, he found that the money, all of it, was gone.  This panicked Fred as he recalled, and all of a sudden he did not know what to do.

Fred Smith of Batavia, Ohio is not having a nice day.

A logical turn of events to Fred was to call, each and every single place that he had been in recent days.  No soap.  But God watches over us they say, and it turns out his cash was safe and sound at a little place called Walt’s Barbecue.

His waitress, Tricia Ayers had found the money in an envelope on a a table and turned it over to her boss.  Fred Smith is a lucky guy, I lost the very same amount in the parking lot of a local mall one Christmas ($1,240.00) and no one held it in safe keeping for me.

Here is another one for the books.

As a high school sophomore in 1976, Jimmy Colson brought a 1923 Peace dollar, a 1897 Morgan dollar, and a 1903 Indian head penny to school to show his friends.  But the coins were stolen that day from his locker.

Thirty-four years later, Colson found an envelope in his mailbox in Greensburg, Indiana, containing the three coins along with an anonymous apology.  It read, “Took it out of your locker some 30 years ago.”  Signed “Sorry, dumb kid.”

It would always make me wonder, who it was, their mindset at the time, and of course, I would like to tell them thanks.

You ever wonder how old a man has to be to father a child?  Well, it appears that it is possible to father a child way up there.  This morning during a lull in the festivities I found Nanu Ram Jogi, 90, world’s oldest new father .  Having a child when you are in your nineties, is proof positive that children are God’s punishment for enjoying sex!  The last thing I am going to want in my life at ninety (assuming I actually make it to ninety) is an infant.

In my case, having given this “fatherhood late in life question” some serious thought, this is what I came up with.  “If we are to have a child at this late stage in life, he or she as the case may be, will have to be born 18 years of age, as he or she as the case may be, is going to have to go to work right away.”

Here is something to look forward to in the New Year.  How about 11 new fee’s added to your airline ticket?  Did you know that the airlines are currently collecting $700 million dollars per MONTH in fee’s.  Here are a few of the new one’s they are considering.

Talking to a service rep at the counter, fee.
Changing the name on the ticket, fee.
Charging your ticket on a credit card, fee.
And my all time favorite, going to the bathroom on the aircraft, fee.

Now I hear you smirking and giggling, but it is true, I read it on the internet.

Ohhhhhh my gosh!  Facebook went viral.  The rumor that it is going to shut down, has people rushing to download their photo’s and treasures from the public medium before the March 15th deadline or as some say, “The end of the world, Species Ending Event for social networking.”  Thru it all, one thing, mystifies me.  I find it some curious that Facebook itself, has not responded to the rumor.  What it is all about.

I am now off to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of Tropicana orange juice and then I am going to sit here in my Easy Boy recliner and think more gooder thoughts about Jane Krackos and of course, warm things.

You figure it out.

OOO

Old Man Time

2011

Here we go, third day of a New Year, absolute resolutions.  Here is number one:  “I need all of you to stop sending me these “make seventeen copies of this” and then pass it on for good health and riches stuff.  It doesn’t seem to be working.

Here is another thing we need to stop, or I need to stop.

All these new years resolutions.

I suppose that is what everyone is talking about in the blogging community this morning.  I have not surfed around as of yet, so I am not up to speed.  Personally I feel they are a waste of time, and for the most part, do not serve any purpose other than frustration.

Don’t get me wrong.

I am going to try and do a lot of things different this year, I don’t know if that is a resolution or not, really don’t see it that way myself.  Just making what I consider some changes in my life, trying to do something I think might work.

For instance:  This is the year to seriously consider taking more naps.  Naps make you smarter.  It allows you to reboot your brain, clears your short term memory and makes room for new information (yeah, like I needed that).  When your email inbox in your between-your-ears-high-ground-campus is full you are not going to receive any more mail.

All these so-called E-mail Good luck charms and potions, magic solutions give you an advantage if you believe they work.  I understand that people who carry a lucky charm set higher goals and feel more confident than those who leave their rabbits foot at home.  But really guys, we all know that confidence … not magic is what makes the difference in life.

A good massage boosts your immune system, and lowers the levels of the hormones, which causes stress.  Massage also produces an increase in the “love hormone” oxytocin, which makes people feel pleasantly high. It has been awhile since I was pleasantly high on anything, so I am open for a new experience.  I used to get a charge out of life but here lately, it has been so long for me personally, that I flat out forgot where to hook up the jumper cables.

Now I often do get a kick out of some of this stuff you send, it makes me laugh, and I believe that is a good thing.

Laughing lowers your blood pressure, increases your appetite, a lot of good things come from laughter.  You ever notice little children, how much they laugh?  They laugh for nothing other than the sheer joy of laughing.  I need to remember how to recover some of that joy in my life in this upcoming New Year.

Dreaming seems to improve my outlook on life, might try some more of that, which is going to be kind of difficult, I mean who ever heard of someone controlling subconscious dreaming?  It is possible to some extent to do this during the waking hours of the day.  This morning I am day dreaming again.  The eastern sky is turning crimson and dawn is cracking in the heartland. I am getting somewhat better at this stuff, haven’t exactly mastered it, but I am making inroads into my peace-of-mind exercises. It takes my mind off the day to day grind so familiar to life, and two-dollar ninety-nine a gallon motor fuel.

Sitting here staring out the front window of my shop office, no plans, no ambitions, shut down.  Really would like to be in Florida right now or the Black Hills this summer, it would be a great day to be just about anywhere — anywhere but here.

To be where the weather report didn’t contain the words “storm warning” and the view never seemed redundant or stale.

My mind quickly travels back in time, to grade school and my youth, and how I used to spend an inordinate amount of time at the pencil sharper, grinding away, staring out the window at the nice day and dreaming of better things.

Now some sixty years later, I am back at that proverbial spot (in my mind) and I am still the impossible dreamer, the hopeless romantic.  This morning Old Man Time finds me here.

Facing but one more New Year … I wouldn’t have it any other way.


Life is good

OOO

The Morning After

Is it possible for one to experience or suffer “election deprivation or withdrawal symptoms?”  Do we have any learned or medical experts who read this blog that could take some time today to weigh in on this important lofty subject?  Here is an idea, I could give it to Margaret & Helen, and they could simply ask the question, “Does anyone think it is okay to eat flowers?” and they would get 657 answers in thirty minutes.

It surely doesn’t work that way over here.

It is nice that all this political stuff is winding down, good to be back in the “real world.”  Where you can strip off all of your clothes, walk down the street waiving a machete and firing an Uzi into the air, and terrified citizens will phone the police and report:  “There’s a naked person outside!” Of course you smile and say to yourself, “This Okie is nuts” but gun sales and ammo are on the rise in America as we speak.

While we are on the subject of weapons.

The Bush Administration announced today that they have a new secret weapon in the war on Terror.  It destroys people but it leaves all the real estate in place, it is called “The Stock Market.”  No good huh?

Okay how about … What is the latest dope on Wall Street?

Allan Greenspan.

I just finished reading a new survey and it was kind of surprising (mildly depressing) and it implies that “Baby Boomers” are more prone to commit suicide.  But I don’t want this to be a downer sort of piece, so I am saving it for Thanksgiving.  But as I am a Baby Boomer a war baby, it did interest me.  There have been times in my life where I actually considered suicide, but I procrastinate a lot, and never followed thru on it.

Say what you want about it, but it saved my life.

But when you stop and look at your prospects after fifty, why wouldn’t you think about it.  Who wants to look forward to being an old geezer in America, someone like myself, old people that are forced to wear comfortable, loose fitting, armpit revealing sleeveless undershirts, Bermuda shorts.  The black socks and brown shoes, with the little baggy thing around the mid-section to carry your cellphone, Bi-focals, car keys, medicine.  That is enough to make any normal male depressed enough to stick his head in the oven on just about any day of the week.

So there is another thing that I am going to have to learn how to cope with ….

Uh ….  Wait, its right on the tip of my tongue, I just had it.

Talked to Cup Cake (The bride) and she didn’t see any concern, which is surprising as we are both the same age, and half-the time when we are leaving the house for a trip to the buffet, I have to tell her that she has her bra on backwards.  I guess men and women are just different.

I will say “Where did you get this cake?” and she will say, “What is wrong with it?” Then I say something like, “How did you get that bruise on your toe?” and she will reply, “I kicked a chair.”

Ask a man the very same question and he will say “Some idiot left a chair in the middle of the room.”

What other important issues of the 21st century do we need to discuss in this brief moment this day?  As we plow thru another Creative Endeavors fact-less post.  I am apprehensive about the future, I don’t cotton to change much in my old age, which is a nice way of saying; change makes me anxious, apprehensive, and nervous as all get out.

Mr. Obama may like it but I don’t like change and I don’t rush to embrace it.

As I mature…I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think. I’ve learned we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities or politicians.  As much as I hate to admit it, things are different in my life now.

My grandson just yesterday asked me, “When you die what happens to you?” So I gave him the Okie scientific version I said, “Son, when you die they put you in the ground, cover you with a whole bunch of red Okie dirt, and the worms eat your body.” Now I know that sounds awful cruel and insensitive, but it is better than the current observations that surround us.  That we all die, and we go to hell and burn eternally, so I didn’t tell him that, ’cause I didn’t want to upset him.

Let’s be realistic, not everyone is going to heaven.  Speaking of heaven?  When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again.  But he better have lost all that nose hair and that old-man smell.

Honesty is important in this day and age.  Just ask any Savings & Loan officer, new car specialist or Oil Man. You should be honest and frank with your children, grandchildren, and it also pays to remember, they are the people who pick out your nursing home in the end.

As my doctor would say, “Go with that … Let’s expand on this one Don, find your happy place!”

Life is good in America!  I believe you should live each and every day as if it is your last, which is why I don’t have any clean laundry, because come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

You know this is the first day without the irritating e-mail alert, I have it turned off, also I have the stereo headphones on, cranked up to about 9.5 (who wants to talk to grand-daughters anyway) and I have already “almost relaxed.”  845 words and I am still cranking on the keys, all is at peace in my world.

Bloggers Unite!  You too can write like this!  I will share my secrets of the web with you …. Snack on Halloween Candy at 6AM in the morning and the words just flow!

Here is something to consider.  I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.  Now I can put “nudist colony” in my tags and attract fifty new readers!  Hah!  For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.  Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock.  Which coincidentally if you think about it, is what cheese turns to if you let it set out on the counter.

India is going or trying to go to the moon.  Wouldn’t it be neat if they actually went up there and found all the hubcaps missing off the lunar Lander we left up there.  That would be a gas!  Even better would be the press conference where Bush tries to explain it to everyone … the uh, Looonar Lunder has all the uh … the … uh, uh … I have funded a new committee to pool their ignorance and we will get back to you on this soon.

Ahhhhhh, Sunshine in my world.  Not writing about death, gloom, economic meltdown, scumbag politicians, dirty egg sucking dog bankers is good for your spirit early in the morning!

Almost as good as being immersed in a good book, reading all of those pages, getting inspired.  I reach out and hit speed dial on my phone to call my old teacher and thank her.  That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. Reading is good for you, much better than television …..

  • It’s nice to be important, but it is also important to be nice
  • (Tony Dow from the Leave It To Beaver Show)
  • Book ’em Dano, Murder One
  • (Steve McGarret Hawaii Five O)
  • Why are these women running?
  • (David Hasslehoff … who cares?  Let them girls run!)
  • Where in the world is the remote?

As I have more than likely bored all of you too the point of crying, I guess it is time to shut this puppy down and move on to other pressing concerns.  I am working on a new piece, “Farming for the Government or How I got my position as Serf.” But don’t have most of the details worked out at this time.

Uh … I will get back to you on this soon.

So here I sit, quietly humming “Dunka-shane, dunka-shane, o’baby dunka-shane” and wondering how come Wayne Newton isn’t as popular a singer as some people think he should be.  Then, I remembered, it is because he sucks.  Now that wasn’t nice … apologize … Okay, he isn’t all that great.

One more day and the weekend is approaching, I am ready.

A new administration is being formed as we speak, and soon, we can all close our eyes and visualize world peace for an hour or so over our morning coffee.  Imagine how serene and peaceful that will be until the looting starts.

I have to run (I will be here two and one-half days just typing in all the tags!)

This concludes this report from your uncouth Creative Endeavor reporter in the Heartland (which is a nice way of saying strange, clumsy, lacking polish and grace, awkward and uncultivated in manner or behavior or just downright rude) …  But gee whiz guys …. No one is perfect.

“Dunka -shane, dunka-shane, o’baby dunka-shane”

000

Life goes on …

Let see? My virus scanner says that my system is squeaky clean, I have no Spyware, no Trojan anythings, my malware is not there, I am doing well. I am somewhat concerned about this ugly rash in my right armpit, and may have to stay on top of that. But all in all, I am okay, or perceived to be okay at this point in time.

Been an interesting week, backed out of my driveway on Monday and nailed my neighbor’s car, and he isn’t too happy with me. The cable company demanded that I cough up funds, the utilities are due, insurance, you name it. Life in the big city goes on.

All my hero’s at WordPress have left me alone and disillusioned again, and I am flat out bent out of shape with them. If you want a taste of it you can find it at WordPress SNAFU.

Maybe I am wound too tight for my own good? Children are said to laugh about 300 times each day on average, the adult however only about 15. Perhaps I should get more childlike in my approach to all of this ____ and try to mellow out. It just seems here lately that every other person is lying to me and I am tiring of trying to sort it all out. More …

The whacky world of Hollywood makes me smile. Robert Downey Jr. was recently quoted as saying: “While groping for answers, he tries to keep things pretty simple. In this transition phase, I am really trying to live as much as a lizard as I can. Hot, rock, sun, fly, tongue. My identity was written on the wall by ancient and honorable formidable guides and forces. I’m such a work in progress at this moment. It’s crazy.”

Yeppers Robert, it shore is. And I thought Gary Busey was a little off tilt? As for me, I am not into that. I come from a long line of catalytic converters, and after sleeping all night long, I still wake up exhausted!

Tonight on the NBC News they were running this short item on used cars, new cars, saving money. They had this piece where a girl traded in an SUV and it was appraised at less than 50% of what she had paid for it three years ago. The article pointed out that by taking the loss, and trading in for lower rates, and the apparent gas savings included in the deal, that it would take her 52 years to recoup her loss.

Man, how sad is that? Oil prices are down now, because it is “election time” what do you suppose is going to happen after the Grand Old Party gets their lap-dog in there? Here is a new wrinkle in the fabric of daily life. The oil companies have started adding a 10% ethanol mix to the fuel, which could possibly damage your old hoopie that isn’t designed to run on ethanol and give you considerably less mileage.

It just kind of happened. I also have noticed that the stickers they put on the pump are not uniform. Some are orange, some blue with yellow letters, some white/black. Slowly they will increase the ethanol levels I suppose, just as they secretly sort of put this into effect.

Might be advised to look at the pump … before you pump. After the elections it will again revert to business as usual … An arm and a leg to fill up, watch n see. How does $4 a gallon grab ya? Just like a nasty head cold it is coming back.

Our good friends at the ACLU have filed a suit to stop employers from checking electronically the status of immigrated new hires to their businesses in Rhode Island. Once again, the erosion of rights in this country. If you have a business you should have the RIGHT to check on the people you hire, I personally see nothing wrong with this.

Maybe someone ought to inform the ACLU that presenting a false Social Security Card is a crime in this country, serious enough to be rated a felony. We need to disband the ACLU.

Speaking of crime? I love this one, police in Iowa City, Iowa, said that they did not have a lot of trouble locating the suspect. He signed his OWN NAME to the credit card receipts on a stolen credit card. He used the card at a coffee house, a tobacco store and a deli before it was eventually declined.

I am watching this Reality TV show, “The Principals Office” and it barks out at me. FIND OUT WHAT REALLY GOES ON IN THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE AT 8PM EASTERN! And I have to smile, “I know what goes on in the principal’s office, I had my name on my own chair in the tenth grade.”

Like I said, “I need to learn how to lighten up.” I am going to relax and read my book, “100 things to do before you die.” Written by Dave Freeman (co-author) who incidentally died this week at age 47. He fell and hit his head, he had visited about half of the places he mentioned in his book.

Hot, rock, sun, fly, tongue …. Life goes on.

000

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.”