The Last Word (Not Really)

01-22-13 Inauguration

Really Bad Joke:  I noted that Obama used Martin Luther Kings’ Bible on the swearing in ceremony the other day.  This guy has trashed more bible parables and guidelines than any other guy in recent history.  Nothing is sacred, now Kings’ bible has been thrown into the mix, instead of a treasured piece of history, it is now relegated to nothing more than another prop in this circus show.

Just In Time:  Today I received my Fiscal Cliff Survival Pack from the White House.  It contained a parachute, a ‘Obama Hope & Change’ bumper sticker, a ‘Bush’s Fault’ poster, a ‘Blame Boehner’ poster, a “Tax the Rich’ poster, an application for unemployment, an application for food stamps, a prayer rug, a letter of assignation of debt to my grandchildren and a machine to blow smoke up my a**.  All directions were in Spanish.

 Keep an eye out.  Yours should arrive soon..

Not Much Better In Canada:  The Alberta Department of Labor, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate.

AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them. 

RANCHER: Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

Then there’s the mentally challenged guy.

He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.

He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life.  He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.

AGENT: That’s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one.

RANCHER: That would be me.

It is all in the way you think:  Whew! What a relief to learn this  …  Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was?  Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.  It’s not aging, it’s the **** door! 

Thank goodness for studies like this.  I had erroneously believed that my trigger was in my rear.  No seriously, I would walk all the way up to the barn, stand there like some kind of lost goose, and never figure out what it was that I walked up there for.  Then I would walk all the way back to the house, and sit down … And pow!  It came to me!  So naturally I figured my trigger was in my rear, turns out it wasn’t there at all.

The Last Word: In a recently held linguistic competition held in London attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man from Bachelors Adventure, was the clear winner with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes. His final question was this … How to explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some say there is no difference between “these two words”.

Here is his answer which made him receive an invitation to dine with the Queen who decided to call him after the contest. He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old Eldorado rum for his answer. 

His astute answer:   “When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. And when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. When the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!”

Hang in there … weekend is just around the corner.

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of American Progress.Org

Chump Change

“I love the Canadians, they are so much more fun that those people down south.”

Chump Change is the title of this piece, it is not to be confused with that guy who has the goofy hair do.  Last night on the news they were talking about a local business owner who had been bilked out of some $15,000 by a major credit card company and some nefarious people down in Florida.  This entire thing, simple in most respects, took a little over six years to produce the amount of money that the business man lost.  As I watched all of this unfold, two things went through my mind.

  1. This isn’t right, he proves he was taken, and the credit card company only refunds to him $500. 
  2. He must have not been a very astute business man to get bilked out of $15K over a period of “six years.”  Surely someone sent him a statement?

The thing that is really scary about all this to me personally is this, “I just opened an account with these very same people.”  There is one little plastic card that is now headed for the lock box and total obscurity.

When Josh Ferrin and his family moved into their first house, in Bountiful, Utah, he discovered more than $45,000 in cash hidden in eight boxes stored in the attic.  After counting it all out, Ferrin contacted the oldest son of the late previous owners and gave him the money.  The son told him that “from time to time, his father would bundle $100 dollar bills with twine, climb up into the attic and put it in a box to save.”

Which reminds me of the story of a widow woman who’s husband did the same thing.  One day her and the preacher were talking about it.  She told him, “he would take a ladder, open up the crawl space in the attic, remove this box, put all this cash in it.”  And the preacher said, “What else did he do?” and she said, “he would tell me that he was going to grab it on the way to heaven.”

So the preacher asked her, “do you think it is still there?” and the old lady said, “I dunno.”  Fetching a ladder, the preacher carefully climbed up to the hole, slid the door aside and looked inside.  The old woman said, “Do you see anything?” and the preacher reached inside the hole, grabbed a box full of money, and handed it to the widow and said, “Yep, looks like he went the other way.”

Residents in Newport Beach, California are up in arms after discovering that many city lifeguards make more than $100K per year, and one, over $200K.  The lifeguard union president says the salaries reflect the extra challenges of patrolling a surfing mecca.  Lifeguarding there is different than any other place in the world was the quote I believe.  Uh yeah?  Sure.  Pass me the sunblock.

I always like someone with a wild sense of humor.

The Centers for Disease Control posted an emergency guide for how to respond to an attack by flesh-eating zombies.  the page, posted to draw traffic to the CDC became so popular that the server went down.  Good news, it is November, and television just might get back to what would be in most cases “considered normal.”  I hate the month of October and all the ghoulish fun they want to shove down our throats.

I love the Canadians, they are so much more fun that those people down south.  A Canadian couple is keeping their newborn child’s gender a secret in order to make the world ‘a more progressive place.”  they say that their 4-month old, named Storm, will reveal his or her gender only when “Storm decides he/she would like to share.”

They feel it is obnoxious to identify a child’s gender on the basis of their genitalia.  “If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what is between their legs.”  Wow, I mean how incredible is that?  Wake up one Friday morning and discover that you have been doing it all wrong for over 50+ years and did not even know it.

Have a great weekend, if you go out on Saturday Night and happen upon a shapely, somewhat attractive he/she, well, just take a guess at it.

It will all work out later on I suppose.

OOO

Here is what folks have been reading at Creative Endeavors this week:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Eagle Bus Project Files  
Clear Blue Sky  
The Worry Tree  
Sprinkle Some Kindness Here And There  
Nuthin Ever Stays The Same  
A Moment In Time  
Mr. Gorsky  
Trailer Project I

Tilting At Windmills

It seems as if “everything” shuts down during a thunderstorm.  What is the use of having all of this technology at your fingertips, if you cannot use it during certain times of the day or the week.  Tried to check my email this morning and it is not allowed, storms in the area, so therefore, information will not be distributed.  Same thing with the Dish, 200 channels, but you are relegated to sitting there watching it “search for an available transponder.”  Technology sucks.

Yesterday’s mail brought me an answer from Shell Oil Co. on my credit card snafu.  No good news to report there, and as I suspected in the beginning, “they do not care about me nor do they care about my problems.  Recently I wrote them about it and I published it here.

Yesterday the mail carrier brought me my official-unofficial-kiss off reply.

The official response was “they did not understand the nature of my problem.”  To be specific it read:  “Dear Mr. Smith   Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding your Shell account.  We are unclear on how we may assist you.  Please call us at 1-800-331  Blah-blah Yada-Yada.”  And that was it, nothing more, and I suppose, nothing forthcoming.

I mean if you cannot read, what good is a telephone call going to do?

Must be nice, to have a job, where you sit around all day and just blow people off.  No real responsibilities, most likely do not have to come in early or dress for success.  Just send off a form letter that basically says … Go Away.  I could sit down at the keyboard and fire off another missive, being very explicit (which I thought the first one was to begin with) and make it quite clear “what the nature of my problem was.”  But what is the use, they would just ignore me again.  I am trashing their card, and going back to cash sales.  Most likely I will discontinue doing business with them altogether.

Another thing I find interesting about all this, the letter was signed “S. Larson.”  I have seen this name before, when I made inquiries on a VISA card for instance.  You don’t suppose that all letters are naturally forwarded to this “S. Lawson” to answer do you?  That would be something.  I sincerely hope that when I die, I don’t get up to the Pearly Gates, walk up to a desk with an Angel sitting there and the name tag on the desk reads “S. Larson.”

If this is the case, I am going to be in some serious trouble, let me tell you.

Maybe I caught them on an “off day” or something.  Maybe they perhaps thought they were awake, but an important and overused part of their brain was asleep when the letter arrived there at the “credit card center.”  You know if you deprive rats of rest, this causes their neurons to start shutting down at random intervals.

The rats in turn, appear to be wide awake, but if you hook up little tiny electrodes to their brains this will show that the neurons responsible for eye-hand coordination are currently turned off, making it harder for them to rip sugar cubes and of course, answer letters from consumers.

Wait a minute, rats don’t have hands.  What could I possible be thinking here.

Thirty-five percent of Americans don’t get enough rest each night according to the CDC (Center For Disease Control and Prevention).  Maybe they are as my grandson is fond of saying …. “Zoned out?”

Gasoline is now on the way down, currently .16 cents below the national average here.  Wife came in yesterday and said, “Gas has gone down Honey!” as if she had some big earth shaking news, when it gets back down to say something reasonable like a buck fifty a gallon tell me about it.  At three fifty-plus per gallon, that just doesn’t seem to row my boat, I am sorry.  It sure doesn’t help having a lousy credit card from Shell Oil with a $400 limit on it either.

But they don’t understand my problem.

What they cannot tell you is why they put a $400 limit on your credit card and then turned of the pump at $376, declined the sale, and embarrassed you at the pump.  But when you have the only game in town, I guess you can do just about anything you want, that is, if your name is S. Larson.

Have a good weekend.

OOO

Out With The Old … In With The New

Titles are often a hard part of blogging, what do you call something, that is just barely a whisper in your mind?  Things are slowly returning to normal, on this, the last day of 2010.  I see the most popular post is once again, “Bikini’s Why Men Are Pigs” is #1, which really blows me away.  Why this one little post is so important, so popular, amazes me.

I read in the paper this morning that some idiot is suing WalMart for hitting a light pole in the parking lot.  Hard to believe, but he is claiming that WalMart put it there as a hazard and it is causing him untold grief, blah-blah, yadda-yadda.  You know these people who tie up the court systems with these blatantly frivolous lawsuits ought to have to pay a price for inconveniencing the rest of us.

Let say if you bring suit on a frivolous issue and the court, the judge or the jury decides it is a no brainer and throws it out, then you “automatically” should have to serve sixty days in the county jail.  That would stop a lot of this non-sense.

I am sitting in the cafe this morning writing this on my laptop and the din is terrible.  Even though I am tucked back into the farthest corner of the place, I can almost hardly hear myself think as my mother used to put it.  It is not a noise of people celebrating the holiday or the beginning of the day, it is the noise of a foreign language being spoken.  Here lately no matter where it is that I go, I cannot seem to escape it.

Let’s face it, if you are not fluent in any language other than English, then all of this in the background, breaks down to noise, nothing else.

Most likely it will get worse before it gets better, we have it seems, turned over the keys to our house to the invaders and they are outnumbering us about three to one.  Just this week I came across a blog that had a poster on it that said, “Get rid of the I word” that word being illegal.

Immigrant is an “I” word, and this year, 55,000 to 60,000 new people will be allowed into the United States “legally.”  It is even being suggested now in some circles, that those of us who are only proficient in English would benefit by learning a second language (Spanish).  No one blends in anymore, we are no longer the “melting pot” nation.  These days if you come to America, you do your best to make it a satellite of the place you recently left.  And to make matters worse, our elected officials make it easier to do this year by year.

You can however take solace in the fact that you are not alone.  Canada our neighbor to the north is paying the price for a huge flaw in their immigration policies.  That’s due to generous support for family reunification, the country is now being overrun by immigrants who’t can’t speak English or French.

Anyone who marries a Canadian can get in.  As a result, a scandalous spousal industry” has sprung up, enticing desperate Pakistanis or Somalis to pay their entire fortunes in dowry money to get their children into Canada.

After the kids get in, then the aged parents are then brought to Canada “ not because of family concerns, but because the parents will collect old-age pensions.  The United States has a similar policy, if you are illegal, but your child being born here is legal, when the child reaches the age of 18, then you are automatically legal.

Much like the United sates, the courts, hospitals, and social services in Canada now struggle to meet the needs or accommodate the new arrivals.  Perhaps we can all learn from those people down under, the Australians.

Australia, which has a strict English proficiency requirement for all immigrants and doesn’t automatically let in a citizen entire extended family.  Australia “tells immigrants that if they miss their elderly parents, they should buy a plane ticket home.

Now that sounds pretty harsh I have to admit.  But without language skills, an immigrant is cut off from mainstream society.  Which is not a great way to live, whether it be here at home in the States or Canada.  By accommodating them instead of “educating them” we are not only crippling them, but we are doing the same to the United States too.

Have a Safe and Sane New Year … See you on Monday.

OOO

Refilling the Coffers

033009Figured on starting out with a article on terrorism this morning, but I lost the draft, and since I cannot produce the body of work that I desire.  I have to go to the old time stand-by that always seemed to fit the bill.

George Dubya Bush.

There is an old saying that goes something like, “Politicians are clearly out of touch with the working man and far removed from the norm of society.” I am pretty sure that this would apply to Ex-Presidents.  Mr. Bush, having just recently returned from a whirlwind tour of Canada to replenish the family coffers would come under this heading.

Last I heard, the media was reporting that he left Washington DC with an accumulated wealth of some $21 million dollars.

So for lack of something better, I find myself reading this article in the Dallas Daily that says Mr. Bush is replenishing the family stocks in this apparent time of need.  Feeling a “need to replenish” when you are sitting on a mountain of cash is somewhat out of touch.  Clearly this is out of sync with the rest of the country who at last count was suffering terribly just trying to put groceries on the table.

Mr. Bush started out in March in Calgary Canada on his first speaking engagement since leaving the presidency, most of his speeches were for small business groups.  His goal is ten speeches per year.  Which to most would seem achievable or a somewhat trivial goal.  But most have never seen Mr. Bush give a speech or a lecture.  This will be a formidable challenge for him, just lining up ten locations that are willing to sit thru one of these.

His presentations have the theme of a doorstop that could talk kind of feel to them.

Now for the poor working stiff, just imagining a life with $21 million in assets is a big stretch, unless you are a recent lottery winner.  I cannot imagine how it would feel to think “I was in need of cash, while sitting on a financial base as Mr. Bush apparently has.” Insecurity must be playing in this heavily and thus, the apparent need to hit the trail and get on the stumping path across North America.

Calgary today, Saskatchewan next, Bakersfield and Modesto … the family coffers are low … and the sky is the limit.

They say a wise man knows his limitations and I assume this is why the Ex-President is now back in Dallas and said to be writing some 1,500 words per day (now there is a spelling checker that is getting a workout).  He is writing this for his memoir, which will explain how he decided to send troops to Iraq.  His response to Hurricane Katrina, the formation of his stem-cell policy, and his relationship with his father.

After this he is scheduled to open his “library of freedom” in Texas, where rumor has it, he will “rewrite history” (as Mr. Bush see’s it).  Might be a good idea, I hear that libraries are the only place in America that are still lending.

As for today, he seems to be content to sit in his little bungalow in Dallas, rewriting the past.  Waxing nostalgic is like a grammar lesson.  You find the present tense, but the past perfect.  Which will be right in character for this man.

I suppose there will be a lot of media hoopla about this library of freedom project to open in the near future, perhaps maybe even a contest of sorts.  The X numbered visitor will receive a prize or something like that.

Grand prize?

How about a foreclosed Condo in Florida with a repo’ed GM Hummer on the driveway … that would be appropriate don’t you think?

OOO

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

News Of The Weird

I was supposed to post this on Friday, but a family member lost her bout with Cancer and died this weekend.  Her name was Cecil Marie Bennett and she was my aunt.  This is why this did not make it on Friday.  In memory of Marie, I post this, and trust that she is now in a pain free place, and a better all around world than the one she left.  She will be missed.

T.G.I.F. — YOU MADE IT.

Radio girl has been sending back all of these wonderful pictures of her vacation in Mexico, and doing pieces each day on who, what, when, where and why.  If you have not been checking in on them, you are missing out.  I am not in Mexico, and I am not sitting in the sun drinking shooters and wiggling my toes in the sand.  I envy her.

Boxcar doesn’t drink anymore, perhaps imbibing on a “regular basis” would improve my disposition, but in the past I have found it to be more of a detrimental nature than a positive boost.

So now I just pass on the libations, a shot of butter milk in a clean glass is about as risqué as I get.  I no longer go out on Friday nite and “get drunk and be somebody” I just stay home and glean the TV Guide.  If I was perhaps fortunate enough to be in Mexico, this is where you would find me.  LAID BACK IN MEXICO

When I get up in the morning, that is about as good as I am going to feel all day long.  Having being a refugee or survivor from the sixties, it is now my desire, to finish out what is left of my life, sober, sane, and enjoying a pretty mundane lifestyle here in the Heart Land.

In other words, I am a fairly boring person, ask my therapist.

You can reach her by going thru my HMO her name is Isis Santori-Bernstein, she is a psychic and herbal-wrap therapist from Santa Barbara, California, but now lives here in the last vast bastion of good community living left in the United States of America …. Yukon, Oklahoma.

Joe the War Correspondent. Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, aka “Joe the Plumber,” is taking on a new job as a war correspondent. He is heading to Israel to cover the war for the conservative site PJTV.com. Wurzelbacher said his 10-day journey will help explain why Israeli forces are mounting attacks against Hamas:  I get to go over there and let their “Average Joes” share their story, what they think, how they feel – especially with, you know, world opinion. Maybe get a real story out there.

Watch it:  Last October, Wurzelbacher claimed that Obama’s victory would mean “death to Israel,” leading Fox News reporter Shep Smith to call him “frightening.” Wurzelbacher also questioned Obama’s loyalty to the U.S., and has justified the invasion and occupation of Iraq by claiming “it’s like someone coming to Jesus and becoming saved.”

Welcome home boys, thank you for your service to the country.

This cannot be true, but it apparently is.  In a change of regulations, the Pentagon began saving money by reducing “combat-injury” benefits for all except those wounded while actually fighting.  This, in examples offered by The Washington Post, Marine Cpl. James Dixon and Army Sgt. Lori Meshell were not entitled to full combat-injury coverage for their Iraq wounds.  Dixon from a roadside IED bomb and a land mine, and Meshell while diving for cover during a mortar attack.

Because neither was “actually fighting” at the time, the Pentagon says that they do not qualify.  Dixon who was denied some $16,000 recently won a reversal on his claim, and Meschell, who is drawing $1200 a month because of the change is still appealing.  And Bush stands at the podium and accepts an award from our armed services and thanks the boys (two weeks ago) and then there is this ….. What a crock.

Lousy week for comments.

I don’t know what it is, but I can leave a comment somewhere, and I suppose they come back and look me over (check the link) and then I do not get posted for some reason?  It could be that they think I am fishing for hits, which is a real hoot, when we consistently average something like 8-10k per day in visitors.

We don’t have to Phish for hits.

This week I have posted at least 8-10 comments and not one of those suckers made it thru.  All of them being totally benign and nothing of a controversial nature.  I am starting to get paranoid about all this.  Most of my posts here on WordPress.com are not being posted where they are sent, and that is hacking me off.  About one in three make it where they are “supposed to go” and that is irritating.  Thanks a lot WordPress.com. and now I have this comments thing going down.

Hello, welcome to http://www.Ihatebothofmyparentsandmostoftheworldtoo.com.

Please share your thought on issues, after writing your message press the “post comments” button, fill in the super secret random code of letters that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, hit your refresh browser button, stick your right finger in your left ear, click your heels together three times and make a wish … We will hold your comment in moderation until roughly when Hell Freeze’s over or until the Boston Red Sox or Detroit Lions, win a national championship, whichever comes first.

Sorry, as it is my nature to share, I thought I would give that to you to take with you for the weekend.

Finally men shoppers in Tokyo.  The Wishroom lingerie shop on Japan’s Internet shopping mall Rakuren announced that it had already sold more than 300 of its new bras specially madE for men (yes, you read that right, I said for “men” about $30 each girls, eat your hearts out girls!) since the product was launched earlier this year.  A Wishroom official told a reporter that “We’ve been getting feedback from our customers saying “We have been waiting for this for a long time.”

Warning:  This is not pretty.

Our comment lines are now open and we have operators standing by to take your remarks, all of you whose names start with A thru M are invited to dive in and voice your best.

Have a good weekend.

000

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

Cuddling with Yangyang

Now that the election is officially over, what happens to all that money that is left over?  I was wondering, if they (the people that helped get Mr. Obama elected) will get a Christmas bonus.  It appears that everyone else is getting a wonderful package of something this year, everyone but the taxpayer that is.

I wonder how much NBC, CBS and ABC will get?  I am also noting that the stock market, ever since the election has concluded, has been in decline.  You know what the means don’t ya?

“The Stock Market is racist.”

Where is Joe Biden?  All of a sudden, he is nowhere to be found.  Could it be that because of the recent choice of Hillary he has decided to just sulk, wasn’t Old Joe picked for his “expertise in the foreign field?”  Barack Obama is “either shrewd or delusional” picking Hillary.  I don’t know what is up with that, but I cannot figure it out to save my life.

Thanks are in order.

Recently the Obama camp put out a note thanking the press for their coverage and John McCain thanked them also for that “one positive story” they ran on him last December.  I hear Ann Couter has fallen and broke her jaw, and it is now wired shut.  Rush however is reported to be doing just fine, on some days you win a few and you lose a few.

C’mon Orin are you outta your mind?

Senator Orin Hatch from Utah is proposing that outgoing President Bush give convicted felon (his new title) Ted Steven’s a pardon.  Now the door is officially kicked open to grant a pardon to a convicted felon, “for his years of faithful service to the country.”  What a crock.

The man should get probation for the rest of his natural life, he should forfeit his pension and/or benefits, and should be dismissed from the highest body in the land.  He is a disgrace, he is not a national hero.  Senator Hatch needs to sit back down in the cheap seats and be quiet.

Recently I came across this little eye-opener.

Several years ago I was in a training course on Capitol Hill in which we had an instructor from the Library of Congress. She explained that it was her job to answer any question posed by a member of Congress. She told us that the two dumbest questions she’d ever heard were printed out, framed, and hanging on her office wall.

The first was a Congressman who called one day saying he needed information “on the pros and cons of child abuse.” The second was a Senator who called at 11:15 one morning saying that he needed to know by 11:30 “what Abraham Lincoln did after leaving office.”

Dumbfounded, she told the Senator “he took a very slow train ride back to Illinois.”  For this the Senator thanked her and hung up the phone.

The instructor then turned to our class and said “THESE are the people running our country!” If she’s still alive our instructor is probably saying the same thing about Orrin Hatch today.  As much as I am afraid to say this …  “I don’t believe even Bush is this stupid to consider pardoning this guy.” … But I have been wrong about Bush before.

Don’t get sick … Man, don’t get sick.

I just finished a bout with some especially nasty stuff, at first I thought it was food poisoning but now, I am not sure.  Vomiting, diarrhea all the associated nasty stuff.  Made me think of all these poor souls in Asia, Africa, third world countries, that deal with this type of sickness on a daily basis because of bad water.  I cannot imagine how miserable life would be if this was an ongoing all the time thing, it surely was not fun for me.

And to top it off, it is very expensive these days to get sick.  Taking a look at the health care stats in the Bush/Rove era, it’s clear that most Americans have seen a decline in their health care at the same time that health insurance companies have reaped tremendous gains:

Since 2000, the ranks of the uninsured have grown by 7.2 million.  Health care premiums have doubled under Bush. Employer-sponsored health insurance premiums have risen from $5,791 in 1999 to $12,680.00 in 2008.  The fastest growing component  fastest growing component of health care is health insurers’ administrative costs.

Enrollment in Medicare private plans doubled. Through such plans, insurers “have increased the cost and complexity of the program without any evidence of improving care.”  The combined profits of the nation’s largest insurance companies and their subsidiaries increased by over 170 percent between 2003 and 2007.

Now there are two good reasons to live in Canada

First, they have socialized medicine and it is cheap, not the best, but it is reasonable.  And their courts have just ruled that if you are obese you are officially “disabled” and therefore have the right to two seats on an airliner for the price of one.  So go ahead, have that extra piece of Canadian Bacon this morning, it really doesn’t matter in Canada.

Bad Week to be a Russian

Global market forces are starting to apply in the Soviet Union and a recent survey has found that the average Russian is drinking about six times less vodka due to financial hardships.  The government has to to do something for these people trying to afford the most basic essentials of life.

And finally as promised yesterday (Tuesdays Funnies).

Anthropomorphism, after a Chinese college student climbed into a zoo pen so he could hug a panda  bear.  “Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him” said the student from his hospital bed.  “I didn’t expect he would attack.  I don’t remember how many times I got bit.”

Kind of reminds me of my first wife … she was so dog-gone cute and cuddly in the beginning … but towards the end … well it just brought a tear to my eye it did.

000