I WANT TO ROAM

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Third day of persistent fog, you would think we are in London or something.  Anywho, I am tired of it.

Lack of sunshine has a tendency to change my outlook on life.  Always has and I suppose it always will.  I could use a little sunshine, a little less Christmas Muzak, and a stiff belt of something.

Another thing is I am not getting outside much, getting so fat, this spring I will be able to sell shade at our annual garage sale.

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Came out here to check on the space heaters, do not want to have to buy a water pump like I had to do a couple of years ago.  I am looking at the old hoopie and it has my juices flowing, I want to get out on the road and fly!

To roam at will … I want to be westbound and down, six on the floor, the other foot out the door, in the smart aleck lane, styling down the boulevard.

Aint gonna happen.

Before gainful employment corrupted my life, I used to delight in long solo drives back to the Midwest to check up on the Rust Belt of America. Now I find that I am relegated to writing letters to the editor, to have them edited for content, brevity and perhaps, temporary insanity.

Reading E-mails from AT&T that state: “Your telephone bill is ready; please check online at” ……. as if I was anxiously expecting that and/or waiting in great anticipation for it.

Or …. “In order to register your new domain name, it will be necessary for YOU to provide US with this, and that, yadda-yadda, blah-blah.  Soon the kids will be here to collect their Christmas lucre and that one kid will say something like:  I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?”  The little prince of scratch n sniff, he is my favorite one of the bunch.

Guess I will slink back in there and watch a little TV. 

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.  One last thing, “The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. … Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder.”

C’mon Sunshine!

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Harley’s And Other Stuff

I saw a poster the other day, one of those old posters.  It was the one with two buzzards sitting on a limb, and this one buzzard looks at the other bird and he says …… “Patience my a–.  I wanna kill something.”  I am the one on the right … That is often how I feel after viewing the news on Channel Five.  I just want to kill something. I know, “Relax Bucko, sit back and take a deep breath, chill out.” 

Unfortunately, Okie City is now 8th in the top ten in the nation for Co2 emissions.  Not very encouraging, everyone take a deep breath!  Taking a deep breath here could be dangerous to your health, or possibly cause your babies to be born naked or something like that.  (I haven’t read the complete survey as of this date)  In some ways, progress has truly came to the prairie, we are now, much like Los Angeles, able to “see the air we are breathing” on certain days.

The weather in here the Central Area of the U.S. has grown warmer, seems as if it is early this year to me.  My wanderlust gene has kicked in and will progressively get worse as the weather improves.  I am wanting to spread my wings and fly, but we all know that is not going to happen any time soon, don’t we?  All last weekend, “I wanna go to Denver, do I wanna go to Denver, I am going to Denver, can I afford to go to Denver?” 

I sit at home. 

Much like an old dog, on some days scratching at the back door to get out, I want out into the yard to roam.  Only to find that I am now ready to come back into the house, I am really having a hard time making up my mind about this, and I suspect, coming into touch with my feminine side.  (don’t send me any letters)  Which is my way of saying … I just cannot seem to make up my mind.

This morning I was thinking about how it was that I used to go out in the garage, sit down and fire up my old Harley and just sit there and listen to it idle.  I would generally do this on the days when it was cold or wet, too miserable to ride, or if I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts.  Some guys crank up the 10” table saw and build a coffee table, this is what I used to do.  Listening to my Pig Iron Pony in the garage.  A small simple pleasure of life, something to get you thru the long winter months. *

One winter, as I remember it, before I owned a home, I completely stripped the bike in the kitchen of my apartment, repainted it, had some chrome work done, and then put it all back together, without ever leaving the apartment all winter long.  When I completed the reassembly process, I fired that sucker up, and the landlord served me an eviction notice about three days later. 

Life has it problems.  But even so, it seems like things were a lot better when I was a scooter rat.

I could pony up to the pump and for a dollar two ninety-five, I could fill that beast up, ride most of the day on that minuscule amount of fuel.  Now days, it takes me over a hundred bucks just to get to Amarillo (252 miles). The home of the Big Texan and the monumentally huge Texas sized steak that most people cannot eat.

Sometimes I miss that old scooter, not much, but every now and then.  As I sit on the front porch in my lawn chair and sail from tedium to boredom and back again. 

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* The Author of this post in no way encourages the activation of internal combustion engines within a closed environment without first ensuring adequate ventilation. Failure to observe proper safety procedures may result in carbon dioxide poisoning and/or death.