Luck Of The Draw

imagesA man walks into an office, and there he observes the man he is about to replace, cleaning out his office drawers, and collecting his personal effects.

They try to work their way thru this awkward situation as best as they can. At that time, the other man reaches down into his desk drawer and takes out three envelopes. “Here, you are going to need these.”  He then smiles, and walks out.

About thirty days later, a call comes in from the boss, he tells the new guy, “Be in my office at 12:30 p.m. sharp, and you best not be late.” There is no mistaking his tone and attitude, he is hacked off.

Anxiously the new employee begins to worry, “What can be wrong, what do I do?” about that time he remembers the envelopes, he grabs the one marked #1, rips it open, and on the paper there is a note.

“Blame it on the other guy.”

So he takes the meeting and he does just that, he says, “I am new to the job, the other guy left it all in a mess, and I am just now catching up.” This seems to satisfy the boss.

Another month passes, same deal, “Boss is again upset, he is really hot this time.” Quickly the guy reaches into the desk and pulls the envelope marked #2. It reads, “Blame it on the employee’s, they are lazy, they do not know what to do. Business is bad, the economy is in the dumper.

Once again, a potential crisis has been avoided, this seems to pacify the boss.

Two months later, the phone rings, and yes, it is the boss. He is livid and in no uncertain terms, makes it known and sets the time for the now all too familiar office meet and the trip to the how come chair.

Almost instinctively the manager reaches for envelope #3 and quite desperately rips it open. There he finds written on the paper, “Prepare three envelopes.

Have a good weekend.

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Stressful Issues

“Find a way to cheer up bucko … If you don’t … Anxiety and Worry will surely kill you.

Worry takes a heavy toll.”

This time of the year, a lot of people suffer from anxiety.  I myself find that I am not immune to it, and that I often feel depression sneaking in to my life to rob me of my joy.  Church goers possibly have a step up on everyone else, as the Bible instructs them to “not be anxious or to worry, for all of their needs shall be met by the Lord.”  Studies have long established that regular church going folk, have fewer problems as prayer lowers the body’s blood pressure and has a calming effect.

Also at this time of the year, the New Year, folks are worrying more about what is to come than at other times of the year, which leads to anxiety, worry.  Even tho we have long established traditions in place, seasons of time, the fear of the unknown seems to creep in and place all of us or at least a few of us, in deep seated worry and anxiety.

Which in turn kills us slowly and surely.

My good friend Ricky used to have a saying it was D.W.A.B.I. (“Doo-wah-bee”) which was his country way of saying … Don’t Worry About It.  Taking the stress of everyday life too much to heart could increase your risk of cardiovascular disease and shorten your life. Ironically, Ricky was sitting at the table in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee, and reeled over from a massive heart attack and died, at the ripe old age of 45.

A study of over 65,000 people found that those who reported feeling even “mild anxiety” of the sort that distracted them, depleted their self confidence, or sometimes kept them awake at night, were 16 percent more likely to die over a 10-year period than those with no such worries.

About one and four people experiences mild anxiety, but most remain untreated because don’t have “sufficient symptoms to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or a depressive illness.”

So, if you are seriously feeling like you are down in the dumps now that the holiday is officially over, all the parties have subsided and it is hard to get back into the groove, if all you have left to snack on is a holiday fruit cake and no one to talk to.

Find a way to cheer up bucko … If you don’t … Anxiety and Worry will surely kill you.

Worry takes a heavy toll.

Have a great weekend, we will see all of you on Monday.

OOO

Possibly Related:  Creative Endeavors D.W.A.B.I.

What folks have been reading this week at Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Girl Of My Dreams  
8-women-who-auctioned-off-their-virginity  
Wood Ice Chest  
Missed Opportunities  
2013 – Here we go.  
The Worry Tree  
Friday Out-Take  
Fantasy And Reality  
Other posts

Mid Week Chill

global

Well, I am still somewhat lost, but here is the good news, I am making good time.  It is already Wednesday.  So things are truly looking up, there might be hope for me yet?  I am just trying to stay cool in an increasingly hotter and hotter world.  It was for instance, so hot yesterday, I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking!  (drum roll, take my wife please!)

I thought I had read it all yesterday.

Yesterday I read where a lady selling cosmetic’s (I won’t say who, they usually drive a PINK CAR) was so irritated because another housewife in Florida would not open the door, that she took a dump on the woman’s porch and left a rather, how shall we say this?

A rather fragrant reminder on her porch that was surrounded by toilet paper.

Now I thought that was bad, but this morning I am reading of a six year, scientific study that was done in New Zealand on Sauvignon Blanc, as a combination of passion fruit, asparagus, and cat’s pee.  Uh huh, you read that right.  I suppose if you had a whole lot of cat’s pee it obviously wouldn’t be great.  Isn’t it amazing what a little can do these days?

Well, Whadya expect, it IS Wednesday for cryin’ out loud.

A medical student in New Jersey said that he was suspended from the school of medicine and dentistry for insisting that he’s a white African-American.  He was born in Mozambique before moving to the United States, and described himself in a class assignment on identity as “White African American.”  The faculty of the school, having nothing better to do I suppose, berated him and matter of factly stated “that no white person could refer to themselves as White African American.”

When the student persisted, he was suspended for two years, and he is now suing the school.  Now it seems to me, that if one was born in Cape Town South Africa for instance, to parents of say, German heritage on your fathers side (there are a lot of them in Africa I am told) and your mother was American, that he/or she as the case may be,  could very well be “White-African American.”

What do you call someone who drops out of medical school ….. A dentist.

An Ohio teenager was suspended from his fundamentalist Baptist school for taking his school girlfriend to a dance in public (her senior prom).  He was said to have violated a Baptist contract against dancing and rock music.  I hear that is why you never see them actually dancing, they don’t want anyone to think they are making love standing up. Give the kid a break, with all the other evil stuff going on in this world, you would think they have a better place to expend their energies.

How about all these Amish kids riding around in their buggies with open containers of beer, and no one is doing a thing about that!  Huh!  Huh!

With all the religious turmoil and persecution in the world, with all the bullying of people around the globe by religious zealots, it is comforting to know, that we have our very own version of the Taliban right here in our own back yard.  I believe there is a verse in the bible, where it states, “that David danced before the Lord.”

I rest my case your honor.

Well, I crossed the line on religion (I am not supposed to do that here) so I might as well go for the entire nine yards this Wednesday morning.   Here is a little political morsel for you to chew on.  I mean, I am already in trouble for the above, might as well take the shot.

Joe The Plumber says that he is quitting the Republican Party because they support excessive government spending.  He opposes any cuts in defense, Social Security (by the way, that runs out of money in 2037 so you better get signed up ASAP), Medicare, or Medicaid, and noted that he keeps his kids away from homosexuals (I am not making this up).

Isn’t it wonderful, we still live in a country where you are allowed to regale in your stupidity.

It has been rather slow here lately, not a whole lot to panic about.  You remember it wasn’t that long ago that we were all in a panic about this pig flu (swine flu) and walking around like zombies with surgical masks on and wearing buttons that said … the sky is falling, the sky is falling.  Where infectious diseases are concerned, I guess panic is good.  Without panic in this country, nothing really happens.

So you need panic, we have to have panic, if we did not have it, well, everything as we know it would stop.

Which is kind of strange, over 500 million people will contact malaria this year, and possibly 1 million or more will die from this water borne disease, but here in America and the rest of the west, there is no panic, no fear.  Conversely, for the swine flu, test kits have already been shipped to all fifty states, and there most likely will be a cure or vaccine out by late fall for the disease.

I didn’t panic then, I am not feeling panicky right now, I am just trying to chill, take it easy and make it to the weekend.  Men don’t show their emotions, except rage, because it takes strength to show soft emotions and most men do not posses that inner strength, they would rather go out and just kill something for instance, than talk to it.  Most men just don’t have that kind of soft strength that is required to get by in this day and age, so they panic.

The next time you find yourself in a sticky situation, feel a tinge of panic rising to the surface, which is in all reality going to be some time today or tomorrow, remember that you do have a choice in how you handle it.  Just because God gave you that extremely large forehead, this is no reason for you to take it personal and bail out on the Republican Party, there is still a lot of work to be done.

We now return you to your regular programming.

Think about it.

OOO

Tree Hugger

tree huggerHeard any good jokes lately?

I thought so.

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, “Just out of curiosity, what  the heck are you doing?”

“I’m  listening to the music of the tree,” the other  man replied.

“You’ve  gotta be kiddin’ me.”

“No, would you like to give it a try?”

Understandably curious, the man says, “Well, OK…” So he  wrapped his arms around the tree & pressed  his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two  hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, “What the heck happened to you?”

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.

When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook  his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and  said, “This just ain’t gonna be your day………….cupcake…”

Believe it or not, it wasn’t long ago, I actually heard people talking optimistically about things, the economy, society, the nation.  Every now and then, a joke or amusing antidote, not so now.  It used to be happier around here.

But that seems to have died down again,

It wasn’t all that long ago, when people would off hand say to you “Have A Nice Day” or “You Have A Good One.”  Stuff like that seems to be rare anymore, almost as if it dried up and died overnight in this country.  We as a nation for the most part are part of the walking wounded now, it is as if we have almost turned into a nation of zombies, just pacing our way through the motions.

I guess the oil companies decided enough was enough and it is time to exact another pound of flesh.  Just when we seemed like we were on top of it, and coming out the other side, here they come to punish us again.

knocked down

Perhaps it is just me, but it appears on the outside that American’s are smiling less these days, you just don’t hear many good jokes, people seem to be pre-occupied and they seem to be worrying more.  Happiness it appears is down and sadness is up, and for good reason.

Bought any groceries or gasoline lately, I rest my case.

The obvious culprit in all this is the recession, it did not go away, it kind of took a nap for a little while, but it seems to be back.  So in order to counter it, we are smoking more and sleeping less, yeah, that should work. Some will tell you our problems are not a lack of money, but the uncertainty of it all.  I don’t see many bankers letting go of the money, and if they are, it certainly isn’t in any volumes that I would tend to brag about.

So it must be the uncertainty of it all.

We don’t know if our boats are being lifted with the tide or if we are still sinking, we know not of a rush on the stock market or whether or not we will have a job next week, and that is taking its collective toll.

I find myself idly sitting around day-dreaming of a day when I can escape it all and head out for a new adventure in life. Exotic locales such as Venezuela call to me, places of National Geographic fame beckon to me.  To go from Canaima, through the Sabana, the Jungle and the rivers Carrao & Churu, where you will enjoy ne of the biggest emotions of life.

To be in the midst of the green velvet that is home to the families of parrots (some 900 species at last count), and the jungle cats, who are often heard, but almost never seen.

To be in a land of sparse facilities just nothing but a base camp.  Guides as natives, all experts, who will take you through troubled waters, where just a few have made it.  And you be one of them.  I guess that is why things have to change, we know not, whether it will be good or bad, we just want it to do something.

Life is different at every age, and often, beautiful too.  Thank God.  How boring it would be to stay the same for our whole lives.

Have A Nice Day.

OOO

“The cartoon was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)

The Worry Tree

march-madness

I am watching this foreclosure media piece over the weekend and I saw something that was so sad, it was a little five year old boy, tugging at the pants-leg of a female sheriff’s deputy and he looked up and said, “How is Santa Claus going to find me now?” Man, that just kind of ruined my day.

I thought about these tough times and all the worry people have these days, how it all needs some kind of relief valve and then I remembered Sam.

We hired Sam to do some paintwork at our house, he seemed like a capable fellow, and we needed some work done.  I came home one day from work and Sam approached me and said, “Mr. Smith, I have this problem with my old truck.  She won’t start and I was wondering if you could give me a ride home today?” to which I said, “What about the truck?  You just going to leave it here?” and Sam said, “Yes, it will start when it is ready to start and if’n you don’t mind, I will just let it sit for the night.”

So I agreed and we loaded up to go to his home.

Arriving at his house, Sam did something I had never seen before, after getting out of the truck, he walked over to a huge tree in his front yard and he stood there for a moment, sort of touching and fondling if you will, the tree for a moment or two.

sycamore-tree

He then turned around and smiled real big and said to me, “Come on into the house Mr. Smith and meet the Mrs. and the kids.  I am sure she has some coffee on.”

So I agreed and then I said to him, “What was that all about?” and he said, “What was what about?” and I pointed towards the tree and then again said, “That?  What was all that about?” Sam smiled a big smile and he said, “Oh that?  That is my worry tree Mr. Smith.”

Curiosity getting the best of me, I had to ask.  So I inquired of him one more time, “A worry tree?  What in the world is a worry tree.”

Sam looked at me and then began to explain, “You see, inside the house there, that is the most important treasure in life I will ever have, my family.  My wife and those kids, they mean more to me than anything in the world.  And they do not need to know that my old truck would not start today, that I am not having a wonderful day, that things are not going all that well.  They need my love.  They do not need my worries or my concerns.  So every day, when I come home, the first thing I do, is go to that old tree, and I put all my worries and my cares in that old tree and then I go inside the house to love on my family.”

I thought about it for a moment, the simplicity of it, the honesty.  And then I said to Sam, “That is pretty good idea, I might have to borrow that one from you.”

His reply was, “It works for me, and here is the absolute best part about all of it.  The worries and concerns that I put in there at night, the next morning, only about half of them or less, are still there.  The rest of them just kind of evaporate or fade away.”

Sam is long gone, and in case you are wondering, the pickup did indeed fire up the next day, just like he said it would.

We now have a stately Sycamore Tree in our front yard, my worry tree, and I understand if you water it, nurture it, and provide for it, that they will grow to a height of some sixty-three feet.  And the formula works, old Sam was right.  You put ’em (the worries and the concerns of the day) into the tree and most of them are truly gone the next morning.

Try and do your level best this week and if you can, don’t worry about it.

It will all work out in the end.

OOO

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

Boxed In

spam

Now that the election is over, I can get back to worrying about this ugly rash in my right arm pit and other important things that need my close attention.  Personally I am glad it is over, I am free of it, and now I can collect my thoughts, and get back to other things that are driving me nuts.

Like e-mail.  I am so sick of being a slave to my in-box, I have to really do something about that.  I made a folder the other day, I labeled it “Cartoons” so I could un-clutter some of my clutter.  So like the fool I seem to be, I put ALL OF MY BOOTLEGGED CARTOONS the really good stuff in the folder to store for sometime in the future.  That is what a folder is for, isn’t that correct?

Today I go to use it, guess what?  Yeppers, the folder is gone and the cartoons too.

So for starters, I am going to step away from the e-mail box, I am going to get the first things first stuff out of the way, and then read all this “pass this on to every person you know in the entire world” emails.  I am going to give it time and not leap to answer everything that I find in there.

Having convinced myself that this is necessary to good mental health. Not thirty minutes ago I killed the alert feature and now I am not disturbed or distracted by this constant beep!  You have mail!  I can wait to respond, especially to those massive mass e-mails.

The best, the absolute all time winners on e-mail was one that arrived in the box earlier on in the year, during the spring.  Nothing much about it was special except the last line … At the conclusion of the informational missive was this profound statement:

“If you do not get this e-mail let me know.”

Recently I have even learned how to lie about my whereabouts.  Fortunately, e-mail systems allow you to “create an outgoing message that says you’re out of the office.”  Which is cool, you can use it to give yourself an e-mail break.

Like this for instance: I am not actually writing this, this is being written by Don’s refrigerator, Don is not here, he took a break to go to the drugstore for a refill on his Prozac and a new blood pressure monitor.

Hump Day for a five day a week wage slave In Oklahoma … Hang in there … You almost have it made.

000

Back Off (audio)

Leave Me Alone I am disgruntled

Leave Me Alone I am disgruntled

Went to the doctor on Friday, part of my yearly check up and planned maintenance schedule. You see life doesn’t begin after forty, maintenance begins after forty. Recently my sister said “that sixty was the new forty” and I love my sister, but she has that wrong, she isn’t even close … Sixty is the new Sixty and that is the name of that tune.

My doctor says my blood pressure is high, I am winning the lottery on my cholesterol and all in all, I should not be here, but I am. Another mystery of medical science.

He says that my weight is perfect if I was seven feet tall! He cannot do a thing about this fungus on my thumb and I should be encased in something that they make pickles out of.

So I am sitting there and I tell him (the doctor) that I am somewhat depressed with all this government crap, Obammer not willing to show his birth certificate to anyone, McSame not remembering where it is he lives, Sarah Palin and her views on loading your own ammo. So I ask him about some anti-depressants and what could he give me.

He said he could give me this stuff that would alleviate a lot of my anxiety, but that he would have to schedule checkup’s for at least 84 days to check on me. I suggested that perhaps he could pass on that, and instead, just listen to the Police Scanner.

But he said no dice.

So I am back to my own reality, not a good week for government, business, and doctor appointments. I suppose we are onto another four years of pretending that the Global Warming issue is NOT an issue and we are going to burn freight-train loads of “Clean Coal.” Which like the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Big Foot and UFO’s, the Republican Flat Earth theory, all of which do not exist.

Bush did promise, exactly like McSame has promised, that he would impose mandatory emission controls not only on carbon dioxide but also on three other dangerous pollutants. Unfortunately in Bush’s case, that quickly took a back burner position in the government kitchen, and he went back to sitting in the oval office popping bubble wrap and playing video games.

With all this current rounds of check kiting schemes and far fetched financial programs going on, I have forgotten if we are going to drill the tundra or not? We are going to punch holes in this theory too. Welcome to the wonderful world of Washington Fuzzy Thinking.

What, you wonder, does drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge have to do with solving the energy problem in California? Absolutely, nothing. Less than one percent of California’s electricity comes from oil. So it pretty apparent that dog isn’t gonna hunt.

Wind power, Mr. T. Boone Pickens plan is currently being tossed about, take a look at that. He wants to be the Saudi Arabia of wind-power on the American plains. Take a gander at how much land it would take to accomplish this lofty goal, it boggles the mind.  To get the United States off foreign energy, we would need 41,767,850 turbines, which would over an area of 10,441,962.5 acres of land.  This is also 16,316 square miles or nearly the size of Vermont and New Hampshire combined.

The complete article can be found here ….

Perhaps after one solid week of “bad news” this is why this morning I find myself disgruntled. I always loved that word “disgruntled” my boss used it quite a lot. It has that “Metamucil” (laxative) sound to it. I am a bit disgruntled; I ate too much cheese last night on my pizza. You get disgruntled when you see that the amount of gas you used last year at this time was $54.54 and this year, the same amount of gas, is $110.47.

And then there is Joe Biden who this week is quoted as saying …. “It is your patriotic duty to pay higher taxes.”

That will make you disgruntled for sure.

Finding myself debilitated by a series of bad news announcements, I have sank into a truly pitiable senescence attitude, surrounded by newspapers I no longer can stand to read, and once again bitching about the moron’s in our government this morning.What the hey?  It beats mowing the lawn or finding yourself on the wrong-end of weed whacker.

Bad news just has that effect on me.  I just naturally find myself bent out of shape.  And after the week I have had … It is no small wonder I feel yucky.

000

Parting Shot: “Cheer up.  Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?  And Rap Music will be considered Golden Oldies!”