Friday Markup

Lee Judge

Does history repeat itself:  Guns … Guns … Guns.  How quickly we forget.  It is not always guns … guns are not the problem.  Andrew Kehoe blew up a school bus in Beth Township, Michigan.  Kehoe also killed his wife and firebombed his own farm, all of this happening just as the charges he had placed under a local school went off.  

Which ended up killing 37 elementary school children and two teachers.  Then he drove to the school, in a car loaded up with shrapnel and detonated that, killing three adults, a schoolboy and himself.

 All of this happened in 1922.  

Three days later, Charles Lindbergh landed in Paris and completed his trans-Atlantic flight, the nation and the world quickly forgot about the worst diabolical act of home grown terrorism and worst massacres in U.S. History. 

Barn Burner:  Yesterday’s post, Stumped In Oklahoma went over 1,700 views in one day period, that is kind of amazing.  You keep on chopping, day after day, and the chips keep flying, and then every now and then, you hit one out of the park.  Who would have thunk thet?

“Handpicked highlights brought to you from the wordpress editors”  …  Our friends over at Fresh Pressed have put up a real head-banger, 3,700 words on a Gay porn star who has committed suicide and the possible reasons for this.  Uh huh … sure.  Fully believing that people will believe the truth when they hear it, here is the bottom line.  People who commit suicide are selfish, and they are only thinking of themselves, not the people they left behind to mourn. 


Gasoline The New Gold Standard: The price of gasoline has increased .50 cents this month, today is the 36th day it has increased in price, and I fully expect it to continue to spiral out of sight (Who is going to stop the carnage?).  At the current rate, if it is to continue at this accelerated pace, a gallon of gas should be somewhere around $8.40 a gallon by Christmas.  

 If you want to read more on it, here is a link.

Sitting on the dock of the bay:  I keep thinking about these two old boys, sitting on a boat dock in Alabama, and hurtling thru space is a chunk of rock, big as a bus, moving at 33,000 miles per hour.  What do you think the expression is going to be on their face when that monster rock plows into the pond they are fishing in?  I am sorry …. but it just makes me smile.  Here is something else I found amusing this week.

Sweet Dreams:  You ever lie in your bed, that special early time in the morning, where you are not exactly asleep, but you still have your eyes closed?  I have just had another nice dream, one of those sweet dreams, where you just don’t want to open your eyes, and lose the image in your brain that has brought you release from the trials of life.  

In my younger days, my mom would call them Happy Dreams, and we will leave it that.  Anyway, she was there, Penny from the Big Bang Theory and she shared some time with me last night and I just don’t want to get up, I don’t want to open my eyes.


 Which is a lot, lot better than those other dreams.  

Y’know, the one’s where you are naked and walking backwards in the dark, and you brush up against a warm buttered doorknob, don’tcha just hate those kind of dreams?

Have a great weekend.  We are headed into round three of winter weather and most likely will be shut in, napping our day away and of course ….. dreaming.  (heh-heh)


Cartoon courtesy of American Progress Online

Most read this week on Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Negative Ruminations  
Wow … Wow … Oh Wow!  
Take Your Pick  
Wood Ice Chest  
Lover’s Day  
Truck Month – Stumped In Oklahoma  
House Battery Workover  
50 Plates For My Brother (audio)

It Aint What It Seems

Things have been driving me nuts here lately, and I can no longer abide by a lot of things.  I need to learn how to suck it up.  

Every now and then, I feel the need to get outta town for awhile.  That time has come, so much to the wonderment and absolute glee of the major oil companies, I am going to get out in my bus and burn off some fossilized carbon atoms and spend large sums of money in order to do it. Things have gotten better here lately, diesel is once again, under $4 per gallon and I hear that President Obama numbers have gotten so good he has been upgraded from an empty chair to a small empty sofa.  (Please note I did not say Love Seat, we all know that dawg aint gonna hunt, don’t we?) So I have decided to “suck it up” … bite the bullet, eat my shorts, whatever.  I am out of town for a week or two, so if you don’t see any new posts.  Don’t worry, it is because I am out of pocket for awhile. When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are … Oh yeah, before I forget.  I read some more interesting news on the space thing (that is what I am calling my latest obsession, my therapists she calls it a fixation, but I like space thing a whole lot better).  Anywho, a galaxy-wide search for earth like planets has returned a startling number of candidates.  Using NASA’s Kepler space telescope, astronomers this year announced they’d spotted roughly 2,326 new worlds and they are still counting.  Ten of those planets are close to the size of ours and orbit their suns (orbiting around a star, such as we do) in the “hospitable zone,” where temperatures could be a balmy 72 degrees which would support liquid water and potentially life.

Which brings us to that age old question …

I wonder which side

of the road they drive on?

Some people should absolutely NOT drink.  I am one of them, my wife says that no one appreciates it when you get up on top of the coffee table and do surfer imitations while singing to a Beach Boy Album (ask your Mom and Dad kids, I don’t have time to explain all of this).  A California man (where else?) was charged with unlawfully maiming a reptile after he bit a python at a connivence store.  He saw a woman showing off her snake to the clerk, so he walked up to it and sank his teeth into it, so hard, as to require medical attention for the snake.

Now I have been a little bit tight at times in my life,

but never thought of biting a snake,

maybe the foreigner behind the counter,

but never a snake.

Loyalty can get expensive.  Did you know that you are most likely paying too much for just about everything?  Well you are, and here is an article that explains it all.  It appears that all of the “newcomers” in America are getting the deal, customer loyalty counts for zip.   Surprisingly it makes a whole lot of sense when you stop and think about it.  You get the better deals by shopping around … Check it out. Working from home could be dangerous.  Me I am pretty much set in my ways and do most of my work from home, but still there is the inherent danger of working at home and not at the office.  With all endeavors, there is always the little thing that happens that kind of throws a wrench into the machinery.

Everything has a shelf life, all things wear out.  Do you need glasses??

Look carefully at the picture below.

Did you see the bare butt of the girl in the background?

If you did see that in the picture, you need to have your eyes checked, as that is the armpit of the girl holding the the camera.  (I have taken the liberty of making an eye appointment for you at 2pm, next MONDAY afternoon)  Things aren’t always what they appear to be. So Boys & Girls, the email is shut down and we are headed out of town!  We thought we might go down to Alabama and visit our relatives, see what they are up to.  My side of the family … really fun people.

Y’all be nice to each other while I am gone, play fair, don’t kill anyone.  Browse the archives, there is plenty to read over there, and here is the best part. It’s all free.


One of those days

Think your vote counts?  As my mother used to say, “think again.”  Moves are already being made right now to make voter registration even tougher than it already is.  Behind the scenes posturing by a few to rig the system, and in some states they are rigging the Electoral College in their favor.  More and more, we see our basic freedom’s eroding before our very eyes.  Time to wake up.

Good move.  A graffiti artist who in 2005 chose to take Facebook share, rather than his usual fee, for painting murals at Facebooks’ former headquarters in Palo Alto, Calif.  Now that Facebook has gone public, those shares may soon be worth upwards of $100 million dollars.

As the Indian Wind In His Face in the movie Dancin’ With Wolves said …. “Good Trade.”

Father like son files.  A Pennsylvania man drove to a police station to pick up a son who was charged with drunk driving.  Police after observing the father for awhile, determined that he too, was intoxicated and he was promptly arrested for D.U.I.. Police recently sat outside a popular biker bar and observed a biker come out of the bar, straddle a Harley and then fumble furiously with the ignition, his keys, and the helmet he was wearing.  After considerable effort and trying several times, he finally got it fired up and roared off, swerving from side to side, down the street. Several blocks later they pulled him over and instituted a sobriety test on the biker.  Much to the consternation of the arresting officers, the biker complied and fulfilled each request that they made. The officers thoroughly confused by all of this, asked him, “What is the deal?  We saw you leave that bar, we watched you as you started up and left, now everything you are doing is letter perfect, what is going on?”

The biker smiled and said:  “Simple.  I am the designated decoy.”

You hear about the blond who was stopped twice in the same night for drunk driving?  The cop looks at her, and says, “Out of the car lady, and starts unhooking his gun belt” where upon she says, “Oh no, not another Breathalyzer test.”

Living your dreams.  A Montana man led police on a wild 100 mph chase and was caught only when police blew out his tires.  When asked why he baited the cops into chasing him when he was stone cold sober and committed no crime his reply was … “I just always wanted to do that.”

Kind of like the frog and the scorpion.

The scorpion asked the frog, “can you take me across the river?” and the frog quickly replied, “No.”  The scorpion then asked him, “Why not?” and the frog said, “Because you will sting me that’s why.”  The scorpion pleaded with the frog, “Oh no.  I won’t do that, I promise, I really need to get across the river, and I cannot swim.” So the frog reluctantly agreed and they set off for the other side of the river.  Halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog.  The poor frog looked back and then said, “Why?  Why did you do that, now we will both drown.”

And the scorpion replied … “It’s just my nature.”

God’s Waiting Room.  Miami Florida has been rated the most miserable city in the U.S. by Forbes magazine, beating poverty-stricken Detroit.  The magazine cited Miami’s crippling foreclosure crisis, unemployment problems, high crime rate, taxes and a choked commuter roads. Detroit meanwhile has its own problems, one of them being vigilantism which is taking hold of the city.  Budget woes have led the city police force to be cut by over 40% over the last ten years.  At least 34 citizens killed attackers last year in what the city classified as justifiable use of force.  When you live in a city surrounded by predatory people, it is a good idea to carry (arm yourself). It is legal to carry a firearm in Oklahoma, but they don’t want you to take it into church with you, which is a big relief for some of the members of the Deacon’s Committee.

While we are at it.  We all have a bucket list of dreams, or the majority of us are alleged to have one.  Holy Smoke LLC has one of the best origin stories you will ever hear.  The Alabama firm offers to pack its customers cremated remains into shotgun shells. One of the co-founders of the company admitted publicly that it was “always one of his dreams in life” to have such a send off. “I will rest in peace knowing that I will be the last thing, that some turkey will see … me … screaming at him at about 900 feet per second.” Now you know why Alabama has a population of some three million persons but only fifteen surnames.  And that is it for today, boy & girls, geographically speaking.

One last thing:  “When you walk out the door in the morning and see a sky like this … just  go back inside, have another cup of  coffee and  stay home.

It’s  most likely NOT going to be a good  day.    

OOO Cartoons courtesy of

Really Ungood Man

Two thirty A.M. and I cannot sleep.

The coffee pot in the kitchen is sending its secret code and I am sitting here in my shorts, wondering why is it so many fast food restaurants (and I use that term loosely) sell “super sized” meals.  Is it because the poor and the disadvantaged amongst us, feel more powerful when they can order something super-sized.  Ordering a giant meal is an easy way for people with low social status to feel temporarily powerful and important.  Perhaps the jumbo size is a relatively cheap way for people who feel helpless, to enjoy a “momentary catharsis.”  That could be one of the reasons that obesity rates are the highest among those with low incomes.

Why did ancient artists paint spotted horses on the cave walls?  That is another interesting question for me this early Friday morning.  Did they actually see spotted horses or were they just making all of this crap up some 25,000 years ago.  Perhaps it was raining on that day, and they could not get out of the cave.

Hang on to your BFF (Best Friend Forever as the youngsters are prone to say) it may be the last one you ever have. 

A recent study of people on Facebook, has shown that Americans have fewer close confidants now than they did a generation ago.  Cornell University sociologist surveyed 2,000 adults and found that on average they had only two friends with whom they could discuss “important matters” down from three in 1985.  (Which is 2.7 more than I had at the same time)  Maybe if they had just used Dial Soap like all the commercials on television imply.

The vast majority of us it appears seem to be friendless.  It sort of makes sense for me personally, I always felt that computers would tend to isolate most of us, having to no longer go out and communicate with others, we have morphed into a modern day clone of the guy in the cave drawing his spotted horses.

We just email it and let it fly.  You no longer have a personal confidant that you can ask about the ugly thing growing in your right armpit or if these waders make my butt look big … Stuff like that.

Now here is one that I really liked, this one was a hoot. 

(That is an Okie expression that BFF use all the time, it means it was somewhat humorous)

I wonder about a lot of things in life (what else is there to do at two-thirty in the morning).  Sitting here listening to the Judd’s singing “River Roll On”  and taking issue with the items in life that often tear at my ragged soul.  Here is one:  “Anyone watch the “Peoples Awards” on the tube last night, now there was a real yawner.  I put it up right up there with another Obama Speech or a bad case of the Asian Flu whichever comes first.

A product of the American dream, growing up healthy in a vibrant economy and a fairly safe city, tended to make me even more curious in life.  For instance, where did the expression “Oh well, there goes another one down the drain” come from?  Another what?  My old man used to say, “Life is like a sewer, you only get out of it, what you put into it.”  Where do we come up with these little ditties in life.

But is that really true?

Not long ago, Jefferson County, Alabama, filed the largest municipal bankruptcy in U.S. history.  The county which happens to contain the Jewel of the South, Birmingham, had reached a deal with creditors to finally do a reconstruct on most of its total $4 billion dollar debt.  A debt which it is said that grew out of poor accounting methods and corruption on a sewer project.  (Nice blend huh?  Yeah, I know I cannot help it)  So in the end, the final tally, my old man wasn’t exactly right … In this case, they didn’t get back anything out of the sewer but they sure as _____ put a lot into it.  They have a word for it in the south, it is called “ungood.”

“Like dude, that sewer thang man that was totally ungood for Y’all.”

Now if you will excuse me, I must beg off and depart for the rest of this day and most of the weekend I am sure.  I have to research and discover the source and meaning of the expression “fine and dandy.”  Which I never really understood.  I have been a lot of things in my life, but I have never been BOTH fine and dandy at the same time.  Really do not understand why people, when asked, “Hey how are you doing?” will respond with “Oh, just fine and dandy.”

Sometimes I am fine.  But I’m not all that often … dandy.

I could be in the general vicinity of dandyhood, but to tell you the truth, I would most likely not even notice on most days.  One time in the late sixties, in San Francisco, lying on a blanket in Golden Gate Park with Susie Mathews, I was both fine and dandy at the same time.  But Y’know nobody asked me how I was.  I could have told ‘em, “Me?  I am just fine and dandy” and now all these years later I look back on it and consider it a lost opportunity.

If you are not too busy on Monday stop by our little watering hole and we will discuss the word Anthropomorphizing …

Here I will use it in a sentence for you.  “A South African man was savagely chewed to death by a 2,400 pound hippopotamus he kept as a pet.  The victim had always stated that Humphrey was like a son to me, he’s just like, y‘know human.

Believe it or not, when we first moved to the country, the wife and I talked about maybe getting a hippo, but in the end, we gave it up.  We just figured it would not get along with the spotted horses, and hippo’s of course, require a really big pond.  Ours is not all that big.

Like I said before, come on by Monday.  As most Mondays are usually a slow day, we can look into matters even deeper.  Maybe if we have time, we can hit on the expression … “Fork In The Road” (Now C’mon … Really) that has always been a favorite of mine along with spotted horses and women who wear dental-floss bikinis.  If you have one (favorite expression) comments section is open, give it a shot.

That’s it boys & girls, 3:22 A.M. and it is down the road I go, feeling 100% confident that my work here is done for the day, which is about what I feel like about 100% of the time.  If you happen to be somewhere where it is cold and dreary this morning, bundle up and stay warm, pour yourself a cup of Joe, and call a friend, your BFF would love to hear from you I am sure.

Have a great weekend.


Here is your sign

Daddy's Hobby 1983 Silver Eagle Model 10-S

A popular Nashville comedian has made a very nice living off of one gig.  He uses the expression “Here’s Your Sign” and says stupid people ought to be required to wear them.  That way they are easier to spot.  Same with bus owners, we should all get a sign the day we plop down the hard earned cash for one of these behemoths of the open road.

It is my profound hope that somewhere, there might be a cure for stainless steel fever, but I don’t think so.  In my own case, I don’t think there is much that can be done, I am shot full of it, and there seems to be no known cure.

I should have gotten my sign the day I looked at my bus.  I bought into all of it, hook line and sinker.  When I inquired about “how hot it was inside the coach” I was told, “Oh?  That is because we have several coaches all plugged into same electrical system, and they are all not getting the amount of power they need to effectively run the air conditioners.”

Uh huh, sure.  Later on in the Atlanta area when the noonday sun made me fully aware that the air conditioners were not functioning, I was reminded of another theory espoused to me in Oklahoma by my cousin.  “If frogs had wings, they would not bump their hinny’s when they hopped.”

Here’s your sign.

When the coach failed to start, and was rather stubborn in turning over, I was told, “Oh, it has just been sitting on the lot for a long time, once you get it out on the road, that will all clear up.”  Forty miles west of Birmingham it cleared up, three new coach batteries at a cost of $167 each.

Here’s your sign.

There is something about traveling that naturally appeals to me, the mere fact that you can get out of town for a little respite, is also a mark on the plus side of the scale.  Something about listening to the music that you want to hear on the CD player, the vision of something new everyday unfolding before you in the windshield, different smells, different locations.  The chatter of truckers, the modern day Flyin’ Dutchman of our culture on the CB and the sound of static, much like bacon frying on an open fire, all of these things appeal to me.

Nice to get away from all the things that irritate me, all those pesky little nuances in life, that stick in one’s craw, as they relate to it in my neck of the woods.  No computer problems for at least two weeks, no shut downs, no installations of this and that, which always seem to come at the absolute wrong time.  It was nice.

So, not knowing any better, I decided to document my adventure in bus ownership.  I took some photo’s with my cellphone, BIG MISTAKE, yesterday I was a little bit over two hours trying to download them from my phone to my computer!

I hate computers!

Tech support: What seems to be the problem sir?

Customer: Whenever I press the backspace key, the letters I typed seem to disappear.

Here’s your sign.

Ah, the open road, bus shoppin in the sunshine state, what could be better?  Florida seems to be deader than a door-nail, almost to the point of being legally declared a disaster zone as far as tourism is concerned.  No problem finding a room, plenty of vacancies and the usual tourist haunts, were void of the crowds and throngs of the hurried, pushy and rude, jostling to get to the front of the line.

Being as I am a big fan of Denny’s restaurants and The Cracker Barrel, a fast food aficionado I surely am, I got my fill of the quick, greasy and deadly on the trip.  Who says there are no adventures left in life at age sixty-two?

One particular waitress sticks in my mind, you always run into those in the industry that you feel would be better served if they just stayed at home.  Handing her my four cup thermos I tell her, “It is pre-loaded you will have to dump the hot water out.  I pre-heated it at the motel room.”  She looks at me, and then says, “Do you want me to dump that out, or put the coffee on top of it?”

Here is your sign.

Orlando is a tricky town to get around in, and I got lost, so I pull into a convenience store and ask this guy, “Can you help me out?” he quickly reaches deep down in his pocket fetching some money for me.  I abruptly stop him and then say, “Hey man, I don’t need a loan, I am lost, how do I get to Sanford Florida from here?”

We both laugh halfheartedly on that one, and then he points me in the right direction.  I did get hit up quite a bit by panhandlers on this trip, but I suspect that is because of the economic blight that happens to be on the land, that seemingly will never go away.

Most of the trip from here on out, is rather uneventful, the generator quit on me in Alabama.  I spent the night in Mississippi with every known mosquito in three counties.  I ran over five curbs and moved one really BIG ROCK outside the T&A in Memphis.

Here’s your sign.

Crossing one more un-named big muddy river, the old bus lurched from side to side something akin to Shamu the Killer whale.  The rich red Oklahoma countryside loomed prominent in my sight, and I could tell I was once again home.  You can always tell when you hit that Grape’s Of Wrath Oklahoma Line.  The wife gets bitchy, the kids start to fight with each other, and you have this overwhelming urge to siphon some gasoline.

Welcome to Oklahoma, please set your watch back fifty years.

Never forget that ordinary life can also be quite extraordinary if you remember to be grateful for what you already have.  If you are one of the few fortunate souls left in the country that can actually “afford to get away and see a little vacation time materialize among the wreckage of man” take the opportunity to get out and about.  It will heal what ails you.

One last thing.  If you are considering the purchase of a bus in the near future, take this with you:  “The owner of a second hand bus knows how hard it is to drive a bargain.”

And of course … Here’s your sign.*


*  This article was first published in Bus Conversions Magazine.

He’s Already Taken

People are funny, you can learn a lot in life, just by sitting in the cheap seats, quietly observing what is going on in your world.  Savoring the moment, harvesting the little gems of getting older and learning how to be a tad bit wiser.

Harold and Maude are booggyin down the concrete super-slab towards Montgomery and Gadsden, Alabama.  All is well in their little comfortable, well cushioned world, she sits in the co-pilot’s chair and silently studies her husband of that many years.

His well-worn wrinkles, gray at the temples and hard, crusty hands on the wheel.  The father of their 2.5 children as the census likes to say, current hero of her grandchildren, the provider and pilot of Dreamscape their twenty-seven year old well-loved and cared for coach.

Harold reaches for his hip pocket and produces a handkerchief and brings it around to his nose, unfolding it, he puts it to his face, and makes a deposit.  He then deftly, folds the handkerchief back up, shoves it down the back of his pants pocket, clears a northbound flatbed loaded with sheet rock and then smiles at Marge and asks her …. “You getting’ hungry girl?” … She is still very much his girlfriend after all these years, his eternal prom-queen, “there’s a Flyin’ J up here in a bit, whadya say?”

Maude smiles her quirky little smile and says, “Yes.  That sounds better than Cracker Barrel, let’s go for it.”

Later on they are sitting in the booth, over in a quiet corner of the “choke and puke” as truckers refer to them and she looks at him and says, “Can I ask you a question?” and he says, “Sure babe, what is on your mind?”

She then says to him, “I noticed back there, down the road aways, you retrieved your handkerchief and blew your nose, and then put it back into your pants, but before you did that, you re-folded it.”

So he says, “Yeah?” rather puzzled and inquires, “Why do you ask?”

“Well,” she replies, “for some thirty-nine or forty some odd years, I have been finding them (the folded handkerchiefs) in your pants and I have noted that they are always folded and all, so I have been putting them back in the handkerchief drawer.”

“Hmmmmmmmmmmm,” Harold quietly allows this new revelation of married life to soak in, thinks about what his wife has just said, and then he says to her, “that will explain why I can never seem to get my reading glasses clean.”

He then says, “How’s your chicken fry hon?  Everything okay?”

Life … Love … and the Interstate.

Been there done that, never gonna go back there again.


Heads Up

Early in the morning, and the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the coffee is sweet, but I know that if not consumed quickly, it will turn bitter and rank in the pot and will have to be tossed.

A part of me wants to write something poignant, something touching, something stirring this morning, but it is simply not there.  Another eloquent peroration, where I exhort the readership to “pull together against the current hardships we all face, and rally around the flag.” Today is also President’s Day, but I have “nothing to say” about that, I am not getting sucked into that …. not today anyway.

But like I said, it isn’t in the cards.  My “demons” have come to visit and they decided to stay awhile, I hate that when it happens.  So I am being careful this day, very careful.


I have been for the most part, grumpy, out of sorts, a regular bear of a guy over the weekend, having what the wife describes as “giving off bad vibes.”  And I suppose she is right.

So I try all the Dr. Phil mind games that I can think of, killing time, I ask that old now familiar question …. “Will any of this really matter a year from now” …. And a voice, deep inside of me yells ……. Ah Shaddup!

A lot of folks eating out this weekend because of the Valentines Day thing.  There are certain rules that tell you how much a restaurant will cost.  If the word cuisine appears in the advertising, you are going to be spending a lot of money.  If the word food, it will be moderately priced.  However, if the sign says “good eats” even though you’ll save a lot of money on food, your medical bills afterward might be quite high.

Kind of like the dentist.

You ever notice that “if you do not have insurance, then it is a cavity.  But if you do have insurance, then it somehow automatically turns into a root canal.”

Something happened last week, that was quite incredible, or at least I found it to be.  Lost in the shuffle of everything else it did not get a lot of media play.  Two satellites, one American and the other Soviet, ran into each other, a cosmic head-on collision if you may.

Can you imagine that?

Stop for a minute and take a solemn moment out of your life and think about how many billions or trillions of square miles are in space, how something that has virtually no beginning and no apparent end, runs forever.

And these two objects run into each other?

I mean when I read that, I just giggled and snickered for at least thirty minutes on that one.  I mean what are the odds?  It is kind of like the old story they tell up Kansas way, at the turn of the century, there were TWO REGISTERED AUTOMOBILES in the entire state of Kansas.


At noon, on a clear day, they both rounded the corner at the same time in Kansas City and had a head-on collision!  Now I ask you ….  What are the odds?

This one cracked me up too.  Birmingham mayor Larry Langford got a taste of the “real world” recently.  These politicians live in their own little “bubble world mostly of their creation” and often do not know what is really going on.  He went to the local high school to present a short speech and presentation, and was “appalled by the attitude and deportment of the local students.”

All wide-eyed and bushy tailed, clearly moved and re-dedicated to public service, he came back to city hall and immediately called for an increase of police to staff the high schools of the area during school hours.  More than 250 students have been arrested in the Birmingham area recently, including 17 just last week.

A Washington senator wants a “real sin tax” applied to certain items of a sexual nature in order to fund disabilities programs in his state.  He is proposing to tax adult magazines and video, telephone services and paraphernalia relating to S-E-X.

There you go!  They finally got around to taxing S-E-X and I thought I would never live long enough to see it, but there it is.  I just thought it would be like my momma said …. “I would go blind.”  But now I know, I will be broke and penniless too.

It is like they say ………  “If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”

Consider the possibilities, first sex and next … Air.  I suppose the next thing will be a government paid for video on the subject for all the kids in school.  Something like this.  Warning adult material.

(This will be today’s lesson in Government or basically, what the Government is good at doing to you.  Be forewarned this is of an adult nature, so if you are home using Mom & Dad’s computer and skippin school in Birmingham Alabama, you might want to turn the sound down and close the door.)

Now if you will excuse me, I am going back to writing my dissertation on how to jiggle the toilet bowl handle.  I have to have it in by Wednesday.



This article meets the flammability requirements of the California bureau of home furnishings technical bulletin 117.  care should be exercised near open flame or with burning CIGARETTES; reprints can only be approved by Simon Cowel and American idol ltd and any other reproductions whether electronic or otherwise are frowned upon immensely.  All apostrophes and/or commas clearly out of place are purely coincidental.