You Can’t Call Me Bruce Anymore ….

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Don’t know why anyone would want to switch gender so late in life.  I am talking about Bruce Jenner’s decision to “come out” and announce he is now going to be a woman. (Hey Kim … Guess What?)   Continue reading

For The Girls

<><><> News Flash … No Mirrors In the Obama Camp! <><><>

Here we go, hang onto your panty hose!  Shadows-of-my-feminine-side … Was that a nite gown Michelle Obama was wearing the other night or was it a dress?  The normally impeccable Michelle O made a questionable choice if you ask me, your wide-eyed fashion reporter here on the plains of America.  Most of the time she looks rather sharp, but not this time.  Only 35% of America liked the dress according to USA Today, you better watch it Michelle, you drop another 15-18% in percentage points and you will right there in Bush’s approval neighborhood.

You surely don’t want that.

Here is another one a little taste of the estrogen enriched world I am denied access to.  Tina Fey of SNL (Saturday Night Live) television fame recently commented on Sarah Palin.  She said that Palin was “I’ll tell you, that lady is five times better-looking than I am.  She’s 44?  She’s got none of that droopy s—-.  She is keeping it tight.”  There they go again, using them football terms that I do not understand, hey Cup Cake, where are you girl?

<><><> Somebody is Watching you <><><>

Has Big Brother truly arrived … Portend of the future?  Demonstrators in Washington DC and around the world protested this past weekend the imprisonment of Egyptian blogger Abdekareem Nabil Soliman, 24, also known as “Kareem Amer,” a student who was arrested two years ago for criticizing the Egyptian government on his personal website.  Might think about it the next time you reach up to hit “publish.”

<><><> A new and unusual use for duct tape <><><>

Now I know good ol boys in the south use it to keep their pickups together, to make sure the fishing rig, doesn’t sink and all that.  But I never heard of it applied in this manner or fashion.  A New York woman is due in court Monday charge with resisting arrest and interfering with the operations of a flight crew aboard United Airlines flight from Puerto Rico to Chicago.

After her ankle cuffs slipped off, she was “duct taped” to a chair for the remainder of her flight, which was delayed to land in North Carolina to remove the offending passenger.  Who had at that time slapped a flight attendant, punched a blind person and pulled her hair.  Just sounds like your average business class patron to me.

They should have dropped to 500 ft, opened the door when they were over Alabama and threw her out, with a sign taped to her (with duct tape of course) that read I love alligator farmers and crackers.  (Sorry Bill)

<><><> Fido’s Drive By <><><>

A woman in Oklahoma was washing her car when her 70 pound pit bull jumped on the dash and shifted the car into reverse.  The car then backed out of the car wash washbay continuing onto a highway and then looped around before coming to a stop at the automated carwash line.  When police arrived they discovered that the owner of the car did not have car insurance and impounded the car.  This is what they should have done with that unruly airline passenger, checked her for flight insurance and ….. No good huh?  Well, whadya expect, it is after all, Monday.

<><><> It’s about time …We have been wondering when? <><><>

Craiglist has pledged to crack down on ads for prostitution, part of an agreement forged with state attorneys general across the nation.  So I guess all the Meth and Crack Dealers can relax now, law enforcement is again going after the oldest profession in the world.  Anyone who posts and “erotic services” ad will be required to provide a working phone number and pay a fee with a valid credit card.

Yes, you read that right.

If men knew how to do it … then it seems that they wouldn’t have to seek out a girl and pay her for it.  We don’t have this service in Oklahoma.  We have massage parlors here, but they are self-serve.  But all is not lost, media is reporting that “The Governator” of Caliyfornyuh is now being allowed back into the bedroom, so there may be hope for us all yet.

Let’s face it men, the girls rule the planet and they are all sitting on the world we all want to win.  It is time to enter into a spirit of cooperation with women, into an endeavor that is not only profitable but also enjoying for women.  That is why I have decided to go into business with them, instead of combat.

Mama's Boy Toy

This could be the very well be the economic boost, the proverbial shot in the arm for a better life for me and Cup Cake.  Never having given this a lot of thought, there might be a money-making opportunity here for me.

The Downhome Okie Escort Service for Ladies. We could give it a catchy name like:  “Boy Toys” or “Play-Men For Women” experience your new adventure in living, we have THE man for you. I mean who needs the Home Shopping Channel when you can have this.

We could start one of these services (heh-heh) strictly for the ladies.  They would pay me money, and I would hire a bunch of guys (real pretty guys girls, no slobs) who would sit around and pretend to listen to them and agree with them.  Which their husbands never do at home. My wife said that, or at least, I think she said that?

They could say things like “Oooooooooo, you are so thin!” and generate big tips for the boys (by the way I said “tips”).  “Have you lost weight girl, you are really looking foxy.” On and on, let’s make a list, send in your suggestions by using the handy-all-purpose-dedicated email link above.

And just about the time they are finishing up with the sex, he could hold her really tight look up at the ceiling and scream …

“I can’t believe how great your shoes match your dress!

There could be a real future in this for me, I just know it.  Who needs a depleted 401K when you have this?  I can do this!  Let’s see … All I need is a working phone number, pay a fee with a valid credit card, wonder if they take VISA?

That’s priceless.

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Possibly Related: Gimme Some Lovin