For All Those Lonely People …

My T-Shirt reeks of mustard and pickles, guess what I had for supper?  (By the way, “thank you for sharing that with us Mr. Smith”)  You want to know what I had for supper or dinner (lunch) just sniff my shirt or look at what is on it.  This post is #1,700 and we now stand at 1,309,975 visits to this page since April of 2008.

Continue reading

Pull On My Ears, Give Me Some Love …

I meditate.  I burn candles.  I drink green tea.  And yes … I often want to smack people.  Nothing seems to work here lately.

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On days like I just had today, I want to walk over to someone and stick my head in their crotch and take a long, deep-breath just like Jack, and let them scratch my ears.  There are days, believe it or not, that the life of a dog would actually be preferable.

But alas, I don’t have enough money to buy a fine dog to live vicariously thru, just a pocket full of kindness to make him wag his tail.

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

One last thing:  “Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail, friended me on FakeBook or came to this webpage in the first place?

Me too.

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[143]

Breakfast With Little Man ….

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Most everyone that knows me, will testify to my obsession my outright hatred of Cellphones.  I make no bones about it.  When used as a phone that is okay, but most people use them for everything but a phone and that irks me.

Yesterday I had breakfast at Denny’s (low on grease this month) and I watched a guy have breakfast with his little guy buddy.  His boy had to be about five or six, and they sat there in the booth and talked, and ate breakfast.

Yeah I know, what is the big deal, it is just breakfast. Continue reading

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny – but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth.

I did.

Fried chicken is my favorite animal. Continue reading

Swimming In The Gene Pool …

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This is for all those unfortunate souls who are not grandparents at this time.  You could possibly consider it a warning of sorts.  Grand-parenting is unique and sometimes difficult.

When you do reach that juncture of life, you will find a rude awakening headed your way.  When that grand-baby arrives, be it a boy or a girl, doesn’t matter, you (the grandpa) will immediately sink to the bottom of the food chain.

We have six grandchildren, most of ‘em boys, and the youngest is about three now.  He is a real hoot, I get a kick out of him.  He has the wife wrapped around his little finger.  His act doesn’t work with me, I am usually a “No” vote.  When this happens, he is not disturbed in the least, he goes to the living-room and looks for Grandma. 

She is HIS lawyer in all disputes, and he usually wins when she represents him. Continue reading

Creating A Big Vacuum …

You Suck. You are the worst writer I ever read!”

To be honest about all this.  I get a little uncomfortable with the label “writer.” A writer knows all about verbs, nouns, sentence structure, paragraphs, all that other organization/compilation of the English language stuff.

A writer knows (or is supposed to know) how to do this in the correct fashion.  As for myself? I would be considered what some call a hack.  I just hammer it out, and that is about it. I am a “writers” absolute worst nightmare.  Bottom line (as if anyone really cared) I am a story teller … Never have really considered myself a writer.

So I guess that should be:

“You are the worst STORY TELLER I have ever read.”

That might be closer to the truth.

Life despite it all,
is still being good to me,
I can still maintain a healthy outlook on things in general.
Unfortunately,
I have suddenly discovered I suck

Exactly why no one knows.
And I am somewhat miserable
Just flat outta luck I suppose.

I cannot complain,
I am doing alright.
My lawnmower still starts on the first crank

Bills are paid
Have money in the bank
Today my favorite numb-chuck sent me a link

Rest is available to me when I need it.
My health is improving.
Still have my cake,
but because of Diabetes,
I can no longer eat it.

That is how it often goes.
First your money and then your clothes.

“You Suck. You are the worst writer I ever read!” 

Another fan has been located; stick a bright red pin in the map.  This bozo probably wouldn’t recognize good writing if someone handed it to him on a business card.

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Top Posts (the past week)

Girl Of My Dreams  
Make Me An Offer …
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)
Bedtime Story …
She’s God’s Problem Now
Eagle Bus Project Files
The Old Name Game …
Me Fix … You see.

It’s All In The Cards ….

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WARNING:

My Predictions Will Blow You Away!

This is NOT those vague, generic readings that you’re used to seeing in magazines and newspapers… amazingly detailed predictions that will change your life!

Don’t believe me?

Today, for the very first time, I shall share with you, all of my secrets. Just send me $2,300.00, the name of your first born male child, a valid credit card number and three wrappers from a pack of Juicy Fruit gum.

Find out for yourself, it takes less than 60 seconds.

Much like a old dawg with his head out the window, big ears flopping in the breeze, I find myself rushing into the New Year.  Might add on a negative note, have received some disturbing emails here lately.  Same old stuff: 

You lie!
This is a Family Site you ____ !
I hate you!
Your parents were not married.

On the other hand, a more positive note.  Several times in the past few weeks, I have ventured out to the old mailbox, and found a letter for my wife.  She is raking in the dough, Clearing House Finalists make the cash, I am here to tell you.  Yesterday she got one that said she was going to receive $5,000 a week for the rest of her life!

So perhaps I should say something.  Most everything I write is factual and often true.  I do embellish from time to time, in order to clarify.  Family Site, now that is a real hoot, I mean jeeze, who would mate with someone like you? 

BY THE WAY … IT’S MY SITE. 

Maybe it is something in the drinking water?  It could be that some would want to have me committed for observation, here lately I feel that has been the case.  Mere words barely scratch the surface when it comes to describing the insanity of BoxCarOkie.com.  A single look is all one really needs to determine that he’s out of this world (post another picture Van!). But there are things even crazier to the man than imaginable once he sits down to the keyboard.

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At any given moment he can spout metaphysical nonsense, quantum theory, spiritual musings, or… anecdotes about how he used to rail lines of coke off of the back of his dog.

Is BCO a misunderstood savant?  Could be, but I kinda doubt it.

The victim of a tragic loss of inhibition thanks to head injuries sustained from his infamous 1991 train crash? Or is he simply yet another cautionary tale of the dangers of substance abuse? With the kind of ##@*!!*!@<>@# BCO talks, it’s probably all three and then some.

Leave a comment … Jump right in … the water over here in the backwaters of time, space and fantasy (a genre of imaginative fiction involving magic and adventure, esp. in a setting other than the real world.) are just fine.

Hope this clears it up some.

Have a nice weekend

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