Don’t You Just Love The Rain

Don Ballcap

Friday the 13th, you don’t really believe in that hokey ****?  

In the process of doing the dirty deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.  It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,’ said Officer Taylor.  ‘I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.’ Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

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Bad Sex Pumpkin Files

For some strange reason, sex has been the hot button topic in the mailbox the last week or two.  Even find it on wordpress or rather the “promise of it” but it did not materialize.

Must be a week for poor sex etiquette and questionable emails?  I also got this one which was said to have been in the Washington Post… which I really cannot believe.

The title of the article was ‘Best Come Back Line Ever.

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Thursday for lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session he decided to stop.

You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around for miles ‘or at least I thought there wasn’t anyone around’, he stated in a telephone interview.  Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 

‘Guess I was really into it, you know?’ he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.  It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,’ said Officer Taylor.  ‘I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.’ Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

I said, ‘Excuse me sir but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin?

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then he looked me straight in the face and said… ‘A pumpkin? 

Damn! …. Is it midnight already?

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2 thoughts on “Don’t You Just Love The Rain

  1. You’re KILLING me Okie !!!!

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  2. One would think this type of “story” would appear in some rag like National Enquirer or some other dubious outlet. But in today’s world what with the internet, and all the electronic gadgets available to the masses, these items must be in the millions for folks to read, or ignore I guess.

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