Jus Sayin 01-06-17

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It is not easy, sitting here, 24/7 writing all this, five days per week.  No wait a minute, is that right?  531 words just for you, now tell me, “don’tcha feel kinda special.  The PUMP-HOUSE GANG IS NOW LONG GONE, AS AS USUAL, IT WAS ALL ABOUT GRANDMA.

sexy_christmas_girls-copyMan!  I hate that.  Throw some Sunflowers in your mouth, work them around, deftly position the seed in your mouth and place that one on the tooth using your tongue, apply downward pressure, and promptly bite into your tongue … Only to discover you were shelling out an EMPTY shell.

Wife:  Honey, I am so sorry I snapped at you yesterday.  Husband:  Oh, that is okay, I didn’t even notice.  Wife:  That is because YOU NEVER LISTEN!

Here we go, another misguided foray into the truly weird and different world of a man who is clearly not licensed to work with power tools.  Today, you can save $500 on a new hot water heater … Jeeze, how much do they cost now?

Grabbed my granddaughter and loaded her into the old truck.  She said “Where are we going Grandpa?” and I said, “to the store, to get some bread.”  Later on in town, the little girl looked at all the Holiday shoppers and the traffic then said …. “Gee whiz Grandpa, there are sure a lot of people out today getting bread.”

IF YOU SPEND YOUR ENERGY TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE PERFECT AND NEVER ADMIT THE IMPERFECT ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE, YOU EVENTUALLY WILL FIND YOURSELF SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE ALSO CONVINCED THEMSELVES THAT EVERYTHING IN THEIR WORLD IS JUST “PERFECT.” 

How boring would that be?

Never under any circumstances should you write when you are upset, mad, depressed or generally speaking … bent out of shape.  Like right now as the dog continues to try and pull off my tin-foil hat when I lean back in the chair.

We give nothing away so freely as advice and we all know that Good Advice is worth what you pay for it.  When it all falls into place, we say it was a fortuitous occasion when in reality it was nothing more than a chance occurrence that had a favorable result.

Thank my Lucky Stars as Grandma used to say.  I often miss her, bless her heart.  I also miss the eighties, smoking hooter, playing “Dirty Clue” and getting bombed.  It was Loren Donnie, in the den with his word a day vibrator, he is the one who did it!  Kind of brings a tear to your eye don’t it?

I am tiring of the expression “she looked like a million dollars” and we should come up with something new.  Okay, I will start first.  She looked like a nine day old Banana, all ripe and juicy. 

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No good huh? 

Well whadya expect for free? 

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