Glossary Of A Nomad … Pain Killer

No traffic, no cops, no crack-heads to clean my windshield.

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Happiest Day in a man’s life: 

Have heard it said:  The day he takes on a wife.  The birth of his first child.  The first day he looked at and bought his bus, then drove it home to begin the adventure.

Second happiest day in a man’s life: 

That warm wonderful morning, when he and the wife, stood there on the driveway holding the check in his hand, and watched the other guy drive off with his bus, to begin HIS adventure. 

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Travel: 

This word to me suggests, good food, nice hotels, strange and exotic locations in this country and around the world.  Big fluffy pillows, soft cotton robes.  White table cloths, room service, drinks with little umbrella’s in them served by a waiter to you in your lounge chair next to the pool.  Young voluptuous women in dental floss bikini’s. 

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To travel is to be well heeled, to be able to sit back and relax and enjoy the good things that life has to offer without the encumbrance of worry or cellphones or most modern day trappings.  No traffic, no cops, no crack-heads to clean my windshield.

The Canyon II

Too sit in the quiet of the moment and wonder.

Traveling around the country: 

Running from one RV campsite to the next.  Hooking up to the pole, laying out the cables and plastic tubes necessary to support your lifestyle and transport all that well used and digested material down a hole in the ground.  Opening up the box and getting out the cable TV or pointing the Sat Receiver SW and looking for the Sports Channel. 

HAMMOCK DON

All the things you could do at home, and at the same time, not spend a dime.

Pre-Planned Destinations:

Like I told the man (cop) in Carson City, Nevada a long time ago, when he looked at me, sitting on my Harley with my long hair and beard and said, “Where the hell do YOU think you are going?”  I just smiled and said, “Anywhere but here man, anywhere but here.”

Bus BoatPretend Camping:

A weekend well spent in the asphalt hideaway known as the Casino Parking Lot.  The back row of the truck stop and a good George Clooney movie or reading “Twenty-Five things you do not know about me” written by Michael Douglas.

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The Road: 

Being out on the highway, truck stops, two-lanes, small town America.  Smack dab in the middle of the lost and forgotten places in our great country.  Shops with items that are truly over 50 years old, no plastic, the real deal. 

Hometown festivals, Friday Night Football, small parks and full timers.  Mom and Pop cafe’s and good home cooked biscuits, mashed potato’s and sweet tea. 

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The Heartland:

One signal lite towns, city hall and the jail in the middle of town.  North Dakota, South Dakota.  The Bad Lands, sunsets that went on forever and one day more.  No sidewalks, cell towers, curbs, a big water tower with your sister’s name spray painted on the side on the southend of town.

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The Interstate: 

Denny’s, Burger King, McDonalds, Cracker Barrel, Love’s, Flyin Hooker, and mile after mile of the same old stuff.  Homogenized America at its very best.  Left lane is closed in 1,500 ft for no apparent reason.  Okies in the fast lane, driving 45mph, talking on the cellphone, with the left signal blinking.  Popeye’s chicken, WalMart and No Overnight Parking.

Bow Lake Canada

RV Life: 

Where are these places they show in the television commercials, where you can light up a campfire, relax with your kids.  Places that are magically devoid of other people, alone, serene, peaceful.  No two-cycle motorcycles, barking dogs, generators, four wheeled mini jeeps. 

Where might these places be, I have searched high and low, for such places for the better part of my life, wonderful-mystical-cathedrals of nature, which to me, do not seem to exist.

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Doing your own Maint. and Repairs:

Take one pill every four hours for pain as needed. 

The Best Part of all of it.

Tuxedo Don

No cellphones, blue-tooth, email, or dressing for dinner.  Have a great weekend.  Or don’t, it is still your choice.

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Disclaimer:  Events portrayed in this post may or may not have occurred in the manner presented and are for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed as the truth in any way, shape, form or manner.  Any resemblance to anyone owning, driving, or selling a bus or full timing or traveling in a Schoolie is purely co-incidental and should not be taken as factual information or data.